Maris
Sleeping next to a monster is the safest I've ever felt, but even that isn't enough to keep the nightmares at bay.
When I rip away from sleep, I blink exhaustion, sweat, and tears from my eyes, Gray is curled at my feet.
I slept on a thick nest of blankets Gray pointed out to me, already made up and tucked against the wall of the cave, like she had been waiting for me.
And given that she had called me her mate, maybe she had.
I still wasn’t sure what to make of all of this.
At the foot of the bed, Gray sits up with a soft growl, her mismatched eyes flashing as her gaze darts around the cave. A thin line of dark hair lifts from the base of her neck and ripples down her spine like spikes; I realize that her hackles are rising, and her lips lift in a savage snarl.
"Go. Leave," she growls.
I flinch back from her and she softens immediately, shrinking in on herself as she slinks to rest next to my nest of blankets.
She's shaking violently.
"Men," she chokes out. The fur on her throat ripples, clearly fighting for every word. "Coming. Must. Leave."
Oh. Relief floods my chest, far more than I should be feeling considering what she said.
I thought she was telling me that I had to leave.
The first creature in years to protect me, to show me anything resembling kindness and I had thought that she was telling me to get out.
The thought made me sadder than it should, considering I barely know her.
To know she isn't is a relief, but it's tempered by alarm at what she's trying to say. The only thing I can think is that the boys from the village have found us somehow, but that isn't possible. It's too far, and Gray was moving too fast.
I gulp, then push myself to my feet, holding my hand out to Gray to rise as well. She perks up, bounding to her feet like an excited pup. I twitch a little, startled by her speed, but we don't have time for me to get over my fear.
"We can't leave. This is your home." Her face falls, but I'm not finished. "We have to hide. Let's start with the door."
I point and she bounces into motion, leaving me to stumble after her.
I was only barely conscious when she carried me here before, maybe from blood loss or maybe from shock.
Even so, I still remember how well it was hidden, how it was barely a flicker at the edge of my vision until we were close enough for her to shift the vines and undergrowth out of the way.
That, combined with the massive doors she had somehow managed to create, makes this cave better hidden than anywhere else I've ever seen.
We just have to make sure they can't find us.
I shift to help carry the door, but she doesn't need my help, nor does she wait for me.
Muscles ripple beneath her steely gray fur as she lifts the massive plank of wood and places it over the cave opening.
The piece of wood is huge, but she doesn't even strain as she settles it against the wall, then rolls a rock against each side to hold it in place.
"Well done," I manage. With the cave entrance covered, we are left only with the dim light of the banked fire, and I huddle against the wall to wait.
I can't hear the people outside, I can only watch Gray to gauge her reaction.
She'll know something is wrong far before I do, and besides, it gives me a chance to study her.
I think she's beautiful, in a feral, fierce sort of way.
She's far larger than I am, towering over me, and yet I've noticed she leans toward me like the warmth of the sun shines from my skin.
She has long claws, long enough to kill me or maim me with barely a thought, but I can still feel the gentle tugs of those claws as she untangled my hair.
Her body and muzzle are of a wolf, were nearer enough to it, and yet she is by some miracle able to speak.
She is intelligent, and kind, and treats me better than any human ever has.
Or probably ever will.
So when she sinks down next to me and hesitantly opens her arms, I crawl into them, the hard stone digging into my knees through my skirts.
"Safe," she murmurs.
Her paws rest lightly on my back as she strokes clumsily, her claws raising a thin trail of goosebumps down my spine.
She's warm, and I sink my fingers into her fur to feel the silky softness. Her heart is smooth and steady under my ear. This is the safest I’ve felt in years, warm and safe in the arms of someone who cares for me.
At this moment, I don’t care if she’s a monster. I don’t care if she could rip me to shreds. She hasn’t and she won’t. She holds me as if I’m something to be kept safe, cherished, and—I swallow hard—loved.
Hot tears prick at my eyes. I blink them away, warmth clinging to my lashes as they dampen my cheekbones.
I tighten my grip on her and she whines gently, nuzzling her huge head into my hair; her arms tighten.
There's a low rumble in her chest and for a terrible second I tense, terrified that I've offended her enough to make her growl at me.
Then the sound deepens, vibrating through me, and I realize it's something more aiken to a cat's purr.
She's still trying to comfort me however she can.
The tears gather at the corners of my eyes in a fresh wave.
I'm not sure how long we stay like that, Gray cuddling me in her lap and doing her version of a purr to calm me down.
A few times she tenses with a soft growl, head lifting from on top of mine to stare at the thick wood of the door, but she doesn't budge from her protective cradle around me.
Whatever dangers are out there, they aren't close.
And besides, I know she'll defend me if anyone were to approach.
It's a strange feeling, this sense of safety, but not at all unwelcome.
Finally, Gray seems to deem it safe and reluctantly lets me go. Pins and needles rocket through my body as I stand. My legs and tailbone ache from sitting for so long, muscles creaking as I finally leave the safety of her arms; she whines softly.
Once again, I'm reminded of Gray, my Gray, the wolf and not the creature. And their similarities. Not just the obvious, of both of them being wolves with gray fur, hence the name. They also both have mismatched eyes, and they care about me, protect me. Could it be...
I shake my head slightly to free myself from the thought. As much sense as it makes in a strange sort of way, it isn't possible. The Gray I knew was a wolf, not this creature. She was clearly intelligent, but she couldn't speak.
And yet... something whispers to me. There were years between when I sent her away and when she came back, and it only now occurs to me that I never actually saw her when she came back.
I heard her, sensed her presence, but I never saw her.
The color of her gray fur is the same, the perfect shade of smoke and shadows, but more importantly it’s the mismatched eyes.
What are the odds of a gray wolf with mismatched eyes caring enough to save me, even if she doesn't walk on four legs any more, but two.
As impossible as it sounds... I think this creature who saved me is the wolf that cared for me.
I turn slowly to stare at Gray, my thoughts slowing as I finally line up all the pieces together and come to terms with my strange thoughts. The creature's ears perk and she straightens, her mismatched eyes lock onto me.
I swallow hard. I might be a fool, but if so, then she won't know what I'm talking about. If I'm right... then this could change everything.
"Gray? Is that… is that you?"