Gray
My mate’s life is in shambles, and it is my fault.
I should never have agreed to go back.
I should have kept her safe here in our home.
Even holding her in my arms, the scent of her burning cottage sits heavy in my nostrils and the back of my throat. The last remnants of her life before me, or at least before she knew I was anything other than an overly friendly wolf, have gone up in flames.
Some perverse, dark part of my mind believes I should be happy. With nothing of her old life left to go back to, she will not want to leave me; there is nothing out there for her, only danger and pain.
Here, with me, she has everything she could want. Food, shelter, safety… love.
She has no reason to leave me now.
I ignore that voice, pushing it down and beating it with a stick. Hard!
I love Maris, not just the idea of a mate, but the woman herself. Kind, intelligent, beautiful. I love her, and I don’t want her to stay with me because she has nothing else. I want her to stay because she chooses to. Because she loves me too, and wants to spend the rest of her life with me.
It’s a hard thing to ask, and an even harder thing to be sure of.
My speech has been getting better of late along with other small changes that give me hope the curse might finally be changing me for the better.
But even so, I still don’t have the words to ask if she loves me or if she’s just hanging around until she gets a better offer.
All I can do is hold her close and try to comfort her when she weeps and hope for the best. When she’s finally finished with her tears, she reaches up to pull me down for a kiss.
And for the first time, I turn away.
I want her kiss, always, but not this time. Not when she’s hurting like this. She’s using me as a distraction, which I don’t mind. What I do mind is her thinking she owes me something for the comfort. I’m not holding her for that; I would do the same even if she never touched me again.
I hold her wrists gently and shake my head.
“Not what I want,” I tell her gently. “Not all. Just want to be here for you.”
I loosen my grip on her wrists, letting them rest against my chest instead.
Apparently that was the wrong thing to say, and new shining tears well in her eyes. I whine softly and lower my head to brace my forehead against hers. Her fingers tangle in my fur.
She hiccups, gulping back her tears. “I already told you I’m in love with you. But I’m saying it again.”
My tail wags and I nuzzle her deeper into my chest, my heart bursting. Yes, she’d told me that she loved me, but I will drink in the words every time she deigns to share them with me, and be grateful for them.
I hope she knows I love her too, but with my limited speech I’m not entirely certain I have the words. But I am more than willing to try. She deserves to know how I feel about her, not only as my mate, but also because of the time we’ve been spending together.
“I love you. Fate, or the gods themselves, chose you as my mate. And I have never been more grateful for their good taste.” She giggles, the sound still a little wet from her tears.
“You are kind, strong, and the fiercest soul I know. I am blessed indeed. I have loved you every moment since I first smelled you, and I will love you until I take my last breath. Perhaps beyond it.”
I gulp a deep breath, my throat aching from speaking so much at once.
Even with these changes of late, making me more human and less wolf, speaking is still hard, and I haven’t spoken that much at one time in…
years. Frankly, I don’t think I’ve spoken that much total in the last few years.
But as much as it hurts, there is one more thing I must know.
“Will you still love me if this curse never breaks? If I’m never human like you?”
She sighs and my heart pinches. It’s not an immediate answer, and a part of me wonders if I have pushed too far, made her think too much about her monstrous lover. Perhaps she has changed her mind about me.
“When you were a wolf, you were my friend. As you are, you have been so much more. If you want the curse to be lifted, I will do everything I can to help you do that. But if you’re only trying to change for me…
don’t. I love you as you are.” She giggles, some of the light returning to her eyes. “Fur and all.”
My tail wags slowly, but I still have one more question.
“Even though I’m not human?”
Her smile is soft and fond. “What good have humans ever done to me? I’ll take you, just as you are.”
I purr softly, nuzzling the top of her head.
That’s good enough for me.