Chapter 6
The sense of foreboding that had been lingering in Jessica’s stomach all week intensified as she watched the clock above the pub’s fireplace. She picked up a washcloth and started to clean the mahogany bar she was normally on the other side of.
“You know you’re not rostered on tonight, right?” Teddy said, popping up from behind the bar and swiping the cloth from her hands.
She blinked at him. “Neither are you. You don’t work here anymore.”
“Wow.” Teddy flicked the cloth onto his shoulder and leant forward, resting his elbows on the bar. “That was mean.”
Jessica could tell he wasn’t serious. Teddy rarely was. She rolled her eyes.
Teddy pointed at a bar stool, wordlessly telling her to sit. “Wyatt’s not well. He asked if I could pick up a shift, and it’s super convenient that you’re here because I need to talk to you.”
She checked her watch, mentally running through potential reasons Teddy would want to speak to her. “Okay, what’s up? I’m meeting someone soon, but I’m early.”
“Someone like a date?” Teddy’s eyes widened as he reached for the pinot noir she preferred. She might’ve been offended by his surprised tone, but in the three years Jessica had lived in Wattle Junction, she hadn’t dated anyone.
“I’m meeting Rob.” Her ex had been blowing up her phone ever since their meeting at kinder and since he’d agreed to another year of kindergarten, she couldn’t exactly refuse his offer to meet up and discuss how else they could support Sam.
After everything her mother had confessed the other day, she was more determined than ever that Sam have a good relationship with his father.
She and Rob would find a way to make this work.
Once she’d made him understand they were never going to be anything other than co-parents.
“Not a date then,” Teddy said, and was Jessica imagining things, or did he look relieved? “Unless …”
“Absolutely not.” That ship had sailed a long time ago, and now the dust had cleared on their epic break-up and subsequent custody battle over Sam, Jessica could admit they were never going to make it anyway.
For starters, they were far too different.
Rob had been thirty when they’d met, and twenty-year-old Jessica had been wowed by how mature he was compared to the other guys she’d dated.
He’d listened to her and asked questions about her studies, taken her places and shown her a lifestyle she’d never dared to imagine being a part of.
Cara had hated him … which had only pushed Jessica closer to him.
Getting pregnant so quickly had been unplanned, but she’d never regret what had happened because it had given her Sam.
“Good.” Teddy’s cheeks flushed. “Not that it’s any of my business who you date. Or if you date.” Teddy scratched the back of his neck. Okay. Something was up. Jessica didn’t have a clue what it was.
Teddy cleared his throat. “There are a lot of eyes here tonight.”
Ah. That’s what it was. The Old Girls Gossip Brigade were ensconced in their favourite booth, their all-seeing gazes roving the dining room for the merest hint of news.
“I didn’t want him to come to my place.” Getting to say ‘my place’ still made her chest squeeze.
For so long after everything had gone to hell, she and Sam had lived in places that weren’t theirs.
There’d been the brief spell with her mother, but the constant stream of ‘I told you so’s’ had driven Jessica away before she’d even finished unpacking their meagre possessions.
Thank God she’d found Kathleen’s Place, the community home on the outskirts of Wattle Junction.
She and Sam had lived there for almost two years while they got back on their feet.
But now? They had a place with Sam’s art on the fridge, his toys in the bath and a yard.
Now he was four, he might even be able to remember it when he was older.
And one day, her name would be on a title deed.
Even if it took her a million years to save the deposit and she had to survive on five hours of sleep a night to make it happen.
Nothing was going to get in her way ever again.
“Heads up,” Teddy said and jerked his chin towards the front door where Rob was standing in pressed chinos and a polo shirt that looked like it had been ironed. His dark hair was in a crew cut like normal, and his stubble was now a trimmed, neat beard.
“No one’s in the function room if you want some privacy,” Teddy said.
“Thanks, but it’s better to stay visible.” She picked up her wine and started to turn, but Teddy grabbed her arm. Concern lined his face, and Jessica realised what she’d just accidentally implied. “It’s not like that. I know what he wants to talk about, and he’s not going to like my answer.”
The bouquet of lilies Rob carried confirmed her suspicions.
“Hey,” he said when he reached her. “You look great.”
Jessica looked down at her barrel jeans and the black singlet she’d thrown on. She’d purposely not dressed up, but Rob hadn’t got the same memo.
“Let’s get a booth,” she said. She finished the rest of her wine with a long gulp, leaving the glass on the bar. Another glass would’ve helped with the nerves skittering around her body, but she wouldn’t do that to Rob. As a recovering gambling addict, he also avoided alcohol.
Once she was seated, Rob offered Jessica a menu. She shook her head. She wasn’t planning on staying long enough to eat.
“Who’s looking after Sam tonight?” she asked when the silence stretched on and became uncomfortable. Probably it was Rob’s mother. She helped with Sam semi-regularly.
“Mum’s with him. But I wanted to tell you that I’ve been offered a job in Sydney,” Rob said, and a clanging noise started between Jessica’s ears, her stomach dive-bombing all the way to the earth’s centre. “It’s a lot more money. More like what I used to do before …”
Before he’d gambled away everything they had and left her and Sam with a mountain of debt she hadn’t known anything about. Never again would Jessica sign documents without reading them properly. But she’d been a fool, delirious with sleep deprivation thanks to the fog of the newborn stage.
“I want you and Sam to come with me. And as a bonus, we can find a more suitable kindergarten or school for Sam. A big city will have better options than this place.”
Jessica placed her hands on the vinyl that covered the booth’s bench seat. ‘This place’ was the only reason she was still standing. Wattle Junction had welcomed her when she had nothing to offer it.
“What do you think?” Rob asked.
Was he serious? “You expect me to pick up my life and follow you to Sydney?”
Rob shook his head, crossing and uncrossing his arms before they disappeared under the table. She’d bet he was sitting on them. “It wouldn’t be like that.”
Please. It would be exactly like that. It took several deep breaths before she could speak again. “Sam and I have a life here.”
“Do you, though? Aside from your job, what do you have here? And it’s not like he has any friends.”
Jessica reached for the canvas tote that had been everything from a study bag to a baby bag and now a ‘mum’ bag for her. She couldn’t do this right now.
“Jess, please. I know I ruined it all. I broke us. But I’m trying here.
I’ve been trying for years. All I want is to give you everything I promised I would.
This job will let me do that. Think of it as a fresh start for all of us.
Sam could have what we never did. Parents who are together. A stable, happy childhood.”
She scooted to the edge of the booth. “And what about what I want? Jesus Christ. We’ve worked so hard to get to where we are now, Rob.
Sam’s happy. You have your life, and I have mine.
I don’t want a new beginning. I want a middle.
I want roots and a life and familiarity.
I’ve fought so fucking hard for what Sam and I have here. ”
Rob flinched when she swore.
“We’re not moving,” she whispered. “The terms of our custody agreement state that we both have to agree to any relocation plans.”
“Is there someone else?” Rob asked, and everything went red. Why did men always assume that if a woman didn’t want them, it was because they wanted someone else? What was wrong with choosing herself?
“You don’t get to ask me that.” Even if there was someone else, what Jessica did was absolutely none of Rob’s business.
“I’m sorry.” Rob sagged back in his chair. “That all came out wrong. Can we start over? Think about how much more Sydney has to offer Sam.”
Jessica didn’t sit back down. She didn’t want to start over.
Didn’t want to pretend there was any universe where they could be anything other than co-parents.
She blinked. Her son’s face appearing in her mind’s eye.
“What’s best for Sam is stability. Being in his home.
With me. At the kinder he’s used to going to. ”
She took a deep breath, sucked it all the way down into her stomach until she could speak calmly because this question had to be asked. “Will you fight me on this?”
“I was hoping you wouldn’t fight me. I was hoping you’d want me.” He sounded so broken. But Rob’s problems hadn’t been her problems for a long time.
Also, he hadn’t said no. The idea of going back to court or mediation made Jessica nauseous.
But she’d done it once before and she’d do it again without hesitation.
Thanks to her time at Kathleen’s Place and Joan’s generously low rent, she had some cash saved.
It was supposed to be for a house deposit.
A new custody battle could undo all her hard work, all her sacrifices, but if that was what had to happen, then that’s what she’d do.
“I did have another idea,” Rob said, sliding out of the booth until he was standing right in front of her. “To prove to you that I’m serious. That I’m not who I used to be. That I’m going to my meetings and staying healthy. For Sam. For you.”
“Don’t do it for me,” she snapped, so over this conversation. Why wasn’t there some sort of law that if a man had already turned your world upside down once, he wasn’t allowed to do it again? Like double jeopardy but not for murder?
When Rob dropped down to one knee, Jessica almost blacked out. “Oh my God, don’t. Get up.”
But he didn’t stop. A hush fell across the dining room. “I lost you and Sam once, and I’m determined to never let that happen again.”
“Please stop.” In her periphery, Jessica noticed Teddy edging out from behind the bar.
“Jessica Sonoto, you are the best thing that ever happened to me.”
This wasn’t happening. She was hallucinating. She had to be.
“I want to spend the rest of my life …”
Rob’s gaze drifted away from hers, and a strong arm wrapped around her shoulders.
“Hey, babe,” Teddy said.
Babe?
“Mate, I’m a pretty chill dude, but I draw the line at someone else proposing to my girl.”
Jessica gaped at Teddy.
Rob stood stiffly, stuffing the ring she hadn’t even bothered to look at into his pocket.
“You said there wasn’t anyone else,” he hissed. She hadn’t, but now wasn’t the time for semantics.
“It’s new”—Teddy pulled her even closer, tucking her against his body, like this wasn’t the first time he’d ever touched her like this—“and we were keeping things quiet while we figured out what this was. Small towns and all that.”
Rob straightened, but Teddy still towered over him. Teddy towered over everyone.
“I just finished my shift. You ready to get out of here?” Teddy gazed down at her like he was genuinely happy to have her in his arms.
This was what whiplash must be like. The emotional kind, but still.
“Yes?” Because what else was there to say?
Without loosening his grip, Teddy guided her through the crowded dining room and out onto High Street.
“Go on,” he said, once they were two blocks away and walking down the driveway to the flat he lived in above Owen’s law firm.
Jessica shrugged out from underneath his arm and rounded on him, her eyes flashing. “What the hell was that, Theodore?”