Chapter 22 #2
“Not really.” Raff blew out a long breath. His burger sat in front of him untouched.
Teddy leant forward and unwrapped Raff’s dinner for him. “Would you—”
“I don’t want to talk about Cassie.”
“I wasn’t going to ask about Cassie,” Teddy said, his own appetite disappearing.
For years, they’d all tiptoed—or as close to tiptoeing as Lulu was capable of—around the fact that losing Cassie was slowly destroying Rafferty.
If Teddy was going to practice being better at letting himself have dreams, have things he’d always thought impossible, then why shouldn’t he do the same for Raff?
He exhaled slowly, gathering his courage.
His brothers were the best, but sometimes Teddy still felt like the little kid trying to keep up with the big boys.
He could do this, though, help Raff when he was clearly hurting.
“But I think we’re going to have to, Raff. ”
Raff buried his head in his hands. His dark curls were longer than normal, and as Teddy studied his oldest brother, it was noticeable how much weight he’d lost. Raff’s “there’s no point” was muffled.
Raff’s shoulders rose as he took a deep breath before sitting back up and brushing his hair off his face. The smile he attempted wasn’t even a shadow of his normal one. “I’m okay.”
He didn’t look it.
“I’m just tired. Work’s been …” Raff paused and blinked up at the darkening sky. “I don’t even know. Every time we have a breakthrough, they slip through our fingers again. We’re constantly chasing our tails, and it’s fucking exhausting.”
“Have you considered asking to be put on a different investigation?” There was Owen. Always practical, his tone calm and measured.
“It’s important I finish this one.”
“But at what cost?” Teddy asked before he could stop himself.
“One I’m prepared to pay. If I don’t finish this, everything with Cass will have been for nothing. I will have fucked up the best thing that ever happened to me, and I still would’ve lost her anyway. Now, can we please talk about something else?” Raff picked up his burger and took a too-big bite.
“Mum mentioned wanting to do something special for Dad’s birthday when I spoke to her earlier,” Owen said, dipping a chip in aioli. “She wants us all to go back to the Riverside Cabins.”
The Riverside Cabins had been the site of many James family holidays when Teddy was younger. Set amongst gum trees and hiking tracks, the log cabins were full of nostalgia.
“She’s got it all planned out.” Teddy scratched at his chin, feeling the too-long whiskers there.
“You should bring Jessica and Sam,” Raff suggested, some of his old spark returning before he added, “if you want to.”
He did want to, and despite his initial reaction, maybe that wasn’t such a problem. “Mum’s already suggested that.”
Owen smirked. “And?”
Teddy busied himself stealing a calamari ring from Owen’s seafood mix before his brother could swat his hand away. “I don’t know if they’d want to come. You guys are pretty annoying.”
Raff’s bark of laughter was worth the kicks to Teddy’s shins that both Owen and Nate delivered. “Seems like it’s going well?” Raff asked.
Teddy crossed his arms and leant forward until his elbows rested on the picnic table. “We’re supposed to be talking about you tonight.”
“Nah, I’m good.” Raff’s attempt at a smile was better, but still nothing compared to his normal grin.
Teddy knocked his shoulder against Raff’s and realised that, despite being the youngest, there might be something he could teach his oldest brother. “Rumour has it that it’s not illegal to put yourself first, mate.”
Raff picked up his beer and stared down at it. “I know. I’ll get better. I promise.” He cleared his throat. “Now, can we please go back to talking about Teddy’s love life? We haven’t had this opportunity for a very long time.”
Teddy stole Rafferty’s beer, laughing silently when Raff helped himself to Nate’s. “You clowns have always said plenty about my love life.”
It was scary how much all three of his brothers suddenly looked like their mother.
Teddy rolled his eyes. “This isn’t a big deal.”
No one said anything.
“Stop acting like I’ve never dated. I’ve dated.”
“The same person more than three times?” Bloody Owen and his lawyerly arguing skills. He always went for the kill first.
“There was Sarah,” Teddy spluttered.
Nate buried his smile in his fist. “Sarah was your first girlfriend.”
Sarah had been Teddy’s first everything.
First girl he kissed.
First girl he loved.
First girl he had sex with.
And the first girl to brag to her friends about how good he was in bed. To say that was probably all he was good at.
Coincidentally, she was also the first girl to break his heart.
Owen spoke carefully. “How do you feel about Sam?”
Teddy felt too much about Sam already. He was too invested, too hopeful. “Sam’s a good egg.”
“I think what Owen’s asking is what happens if things don’t work out?” Nate asked gently.
“Why wouldn’t things work out?”
Christ. There went his newfound confidence after his talk with Lulu.
“I’m not saying they won’t. But when there’s a kid involved, everyone has to be extra careful,” Nate said.
“We’re being careful. We have a plan.”
Thank God they didn’t know about Teddy and Jessica’s actual plan. It would just prove to them that Teddy was as irresponsible as everyone thought he was.
“How careful is careful, exactly?” Owen asked cautiously, kindly.
Teddy snapped, “I’m not going to hurt her. Or Sam.”
Owen raised his hands in surrender. “I wasn’t suggesting that, Ted. I want to make sure you don’t get hurt.”
Time for a change of subject.
“Hey.” Teddy nudged Rafferty. “Guess who’s stopped hanging around the clinic?”
Rafferty tilted his head and gestured for Teddy to go on.
“There’s not much more to tell. Adrian’s been coming in to see one of our receptionists, and the other day, they were in our storeroom, and I overheard him asking what sort of prescription drugs we kept onsite and in what quantities.”
“Do you guys keep a lot of drugs onsite?” Nate asked.
“Nope. And all the stuff we use during treatments is in such small quantities that we don’t need much. If a patient requires painkillers afterwards, we give them a prescription like a GP does.”
“So maybe he’s as dumb as all the rumours say? Thought Teddy’s clinic would be an easy place to rob?” Owen said, his gaze locked on Rafferty, who’d leant forward, his elbows on either side of his half-eaten burger.
“Adrian’s definitely their weak link intellectually.
” Raff frowned down at the picnic table where people had scratched their names into.
“This doesn’t go any further, but there have been rumblings he’s looking to break away from the family business.
Go out on his own. Supposedly, he’s not very happy with his father.
Do me a favour and let me know if he comes back, hey? ”
“Sure.”
It would be handy if Raff owed him a favour, especially if Teddy found the courage to follow through on his new plan to show Jessica how much he cared.