6. Camden
CHAPTER 6
Camden
Friday night/Saturday morning
S tartling awake, my eyes open. Blinking them quickly trying to clear the dryness, I have no idea what woke me up. Rubbing my eyes with both hands and glancing at where Shayna is still fast asleep, I raise up on my elbows trying to figure out what could have caused me to wake. Glancing around the room, I don’t even know what time it is. The room is dark and my eyes are finally adjusting, when I hear a muffled cry coming from outside our door.
Removing the covers from my legs, I glance over at Shayna again to make sure she doesn’t wake. She could sleep through a hurricane. Slowly getting up from the bed, I slide my gray sweatpants on that are hanging on the chair in the corner. The crying seems to be getting louder and it sends me into a sense of urgency now.
Leaving our room, I gently close the door with a soft click and walk across the hall to where Lexi is sleeping. I press my ear up against the door as my hand reaches for the door knob. If she’s having a nightmare, I don’t want to wake her but if she’s awake, I don’t want to just walk in and scare her.
I give the door a soft knock, but nothing. Then I hear the crying again. “No… stop… please Jase…” And with that, I know she’s having a nightmare. I slowly and carefully open the door so as to not scare her awake.
The sheets and blankets are thrown half off the bed to the floor. She’s tossing and turning in just a pair of sleep shorts and camisole. Pulling the door to, not closing it completely, I walk over to the bed quickly.
“Shhhh, shhhh…” Leaning down, I whisper and softly brush the hair back that has stuck to her forehead away from her face. “It’s okay, Lexi. You’re okay,” I say quietly. She doesn’t wake but it seems to have calmed her down a bit.
Gently sitting on the edge of the bed, I continue to watch her. Moving my fingers softly over her forehead and down the swells of her soft tear soaked cheeks, my brow furrows knowing that she is just reliving the hell she went through with that asshole. She lets out a soft sigh and turns onto her side facing where I’m sitting, curling into herself. I think she’s awake, but her eyes remain closed.
I push the hair behind her ear, still being extremely careful as to not wake her. “It’s just a dream, Lexi. I promise you, he won’t hurt you again,” I say quietly.
The room is quiet, only our breathing can be heard, along with the rush of air from the vents of the air conditioner. Watching her in silence, she has calmed down and her breathing once more is even. Her lips are parted as she sleeps. I don’t know how long I sit there watching her before I deem it okay to finally leave. I see her body give a little shiver and I’m sure it’s because the air conditioning is blasting over her and her body is completely exposed with the blankets strewn everywhere. It doesn’t help that she was sweating so much from the dream.
Standing up slowly, I lift the sheet and comforter and drape them over her. As soon as they touch her clammy skin, she sucks in a deep breath and releases a sigh. My hands move on their own accord, drifting the back of my knuckles softly down her face. How much I would love to indulge in Shayna’s want to have Lexi in our bed. To bring her into our relationship to make sure she knows how much she’s loved. So she knows just how much she’s wanted and cared for. With all of her past trauma with Jason, I don’t think it’s much of a possibility for us. But as her friends, we can make sure she understands she doesn’t need assholes such as him to feel needed or wanted.
I turn to head back to my room, when I hear her shift on the bed. “Cam,” she whispers hoarsely. I turn back and see her eyes are open but still heavily hooded from sleep. I move to sit back down on the edge of her bed, and turn on the light next to her bed, which emanates a soft glow.
“Hey… you were having a nightmare. I was just checking on you. I’m sorry if I woke you,” I say, once again brushing the hair away from her face.
She stares at me for a moment. It seems she’s still trying to process everything. I wonder if she remembers the dream or is she just confused as to why it’s me in her room.
“Um… I…” she starts but clears her dry throat. “I’m sorry I woke you. I didn’t wake up everyone did I?” she asks, glancing behind me to the door thinking Shayna or the boys were standing there. I turn even more towards her, pulling my knee up on her bed. I give a light chuckle.
“You know Shay sleeps like the dead, and I don’t think anyone heard you but me. I’m a light sleeper,” I say leaning closer to her. I don’t want to intimidate or scare her, but I also want to keep my voice low.
She moves to sit up, leaning against the headboard. Pulling the covers over her exposed thighs, she sits her hands in her lap. Her eyes focus on her hands, as if she’s embarrassed, either about the nightmare or waking me up.
“Want to talk about it?” I ask her trying to get her out of her shell. I can tell she’s different since the last time she was here a few months ago. She’s more reserved and quiet. Not the Lexi we know and love. Shayna and I need to get her back to the strong, fierce and outspoken woman she was before.
She shakes her head and even in the dark I can see the blush staining her cheeks. I rest my hand on her covered knee, and she gives a little jump but doesn’t move away or push my hand away. I give her knee a little squeeze.
“It may help to talk about it. Maybe voicing the nightmare will make it dissipate. Keeping it inside is why it’s manifesting in your sleep,” I try to coax it out of her.
She looks up at me through her lashes. Fuck, she’s beautiful. Tears form in her eyes as she stares at me.
“You don’t have to, if you don’t want to, but I think it will help, sweet girl,” I say softly, still holding my ground. The little pet name easily slips past my lips. I’m trying to make her feel more comfortable, but also let her know she needs to remember she can trust me. That we have been friends for a very long time.
She blinks and the tears are released. Lexi quickly wipes them away and looks down at her lap again. “Cam,” she says in a breath. “I don’t know what to say. I hate that I let everything get as bad as it did.”
Shaking her head, she moves her knees up and wraps her arms around them, resting her face on them, I'm sure, to keep her tears hidden. I move closer to her and rest both hands on either side of her legs so I’m closer to her face so she can hear me.
“Lexi… I need you to hear me when I say this,” I say in my deep, commanding voice and wait for her to acknowledge me. I don’t speak again until she does. Slowly she raises her head and rests her chin between her knees. Her eyes are swollen and rimmed red from the crying, but she is still beautiful no matter what.
“Are you listening to me?” I ask and she nods the best she can. “None of what happened is your fault. You did nothing wrong. Should you have left when it first happened? Sure. But you have such a good heart, I’m sure you were hoping it wouldn’t happen again or even continue the way it did. Am I right?” I ask her.
She nods her head and tears begin to flow more freely as I lift one of my hands to cup her cheek. “I mean it, sweet girl. This is not your fault. You are only to blame for the fact that you loved someone who hurt you when they should have been protecting you.”
She closes her eyes and bites her bottom lip. I can see the restraint she is giving to not just sob. The tears are flowing now. She finally reopens her eyes and gives a little sniff, wiping her nose with the back of her hand. I drop my hold on her cheek and get up from the bed to grab the towel that is hanging on the back of the door. I hand it to her and she wipes her face.
Taking a deep breath when she drops the towel beside her. I sit down again on the bed and look at her. I don’t give her a look of pity, because I know that will make this worse, plus I don’t feel pity for her. I try to relay in my look that I am here to just listen, and I wait a few minutes to see if she’s willing to talk.
Lexi takes a deep breath and relaxes her forearms on her knees. The tears slow and she releases a long breath.
“It started a couple of years ago…” she begins and I turn more towards her giving her my full attention. “...with just talking down to me and embarrassing me. Degrading me whenever he had the chance.” She gives a little chuckle looking up at me. “And not in a sexy way,” she says, trying to relieve a little tension. I give her a small smile.
“Anyway. Then it progressed to grabbing me and pushing me up against the wall. He would always apologize after and explain it away saying how much stress he was under at work. Saying it would never happen again. I wanted to believe him… I really did,” she says looking down in her lap. She stretches her legs out and leans back against the headboard again. Pushing the palms of hands into her eyes, she grunts in a frustrated way.
Her hands drop to her lap and the tears are forming again when she looks back up at me. “Then I started to notice the later nights at work and the way he would lock his phone when he was around me. I found out by accident he was fucking some girl at work. She’s younger than me and she even knows we’re together. I’ve seen the texts,” she says and rolls her eyes. “Fuck, I wish I hadn’t. I could have remained blissfully ignorant.”
“Are you sure about that? That doesn’t sound like the Lexi I know,” I say, quirking an eyebrow at her.
She laughs. “You’re right,” she says, taking another deep breath and looking up to the ceiling. “Well, after I found out I confronted him, and that was the first time I ended up at the emergency room with a dislocated shoulder, sprained wrist and several bruised ribs. Not to mention a busted lip and black eye,” she says, looking back at me waiting for my reaction.
I wait a few seconds before replying. “Why didn’t you leave then?” I ask her. Trying not to sound like I’m placing any blame on her, because I understand why people who have dealt with stuff like this stay.
Her gaze slowly moves back to her lap and the crimson blush rises on her cheeks. “He apologized for getting out of hand and said that it upset him to be accused of something he hasn’t done.”
I can tell in her voice she’s upset with herself for allowing this to go on any further.
“It progressed from there. I guess the fact that I kept forgiving him, just gave him the go ahead to continue.”
I know that nothing I say to her will make this easier or better. And I don’t want to make her feel worse than she already does. She finally looks back up at me giving me a small smile. “I’m not a victim, Cam. And I refuse to be one or be treated like one. I really need to just work through this, ya know?”
Giving her a small nod, I once again place my hand on her covered knee. This time she doesn’t jerk or get startled. I give her knee a small squeeze.
“Lexi, you and Shayna are two of the strongest women I know. So I know you will get through this. We will be here for you every step of the way and in any way you need us.”
She gives me a real smile finally, and I smile back. I squeeze her knee once more before I stand up from the bed. “You need to get some sleep. If you want to talk more tomorrow or whenever, I’m always here for you. Just like Shay is. You know that,” I say.
I turn to walk to the door, and I hear her soft voice. “Cam,” she breathes. I turn to look at her just as I reach the slightly open door.
“Yeah, Lex?”
“C-can you… ummm… c-c-could you…” she begins with a stutter, as I raise my brow giving her the time to process her thoughts and get whatever it is she wants to ask out. “C-can you stay here u-until I fall asleep? Please?”
I walk back towards the bed, turn the bedside light off, as she moves over further towards the other side of the bed and lays down. I sit on the bed, this time leaning up against the headboard. She turns curling up next to me, but not touching me. She looks up at me and I give her a small smile. “Sleep, sweet girl. I got you. You’re safe now,” I whisper and softly begin to caress her head, pushing the hair away from her face.
She releases a deep breath and closes her eyes. Continuing to pet her hair softly, as her breaths begin to even out, it seems she’s fallen asleep. A creak at the door catches my attention and my head quickly darts to where the door is more open and Shayna stands leaning against the frame smiling at me, as the hallway light filters through the opening. I give her a smile back and she blows me a kiss and turns walking back to our room. This has been an eventful evening, to say the least.