Chapter 24
Nobody except Mr Kendall was disconcerted or unhappy about the travelling arrangements.
Mrs Bennet was relieved to spend a little time beyond the duchess’s watchful gaze, whilst Lydia and Kitty liked the idea of travelling with Mr Kendall.
As for Elizabeth, she was pleased to accompany her uncle and the duchess.
She looked forward to seeing the Gardiners with real pleasure.
She liked her aunt’s house, which was both cosy and elegant.
The parlour was not as large as the duchess’s, yet it possessed a generous balcony overlooking a garden where they had often played as children.
Years before, Mr Gardiner had bought his nieces a small galloper with four horses that could be turned by an adult.
Elizabeth remembered spending entire days upon those horses, indifferent to cold, heat, or rain.
The Gardiner children loved it no less. Through the open window she could hear their squeals of delight.
“Please, Lizzy, go down and send them in before the other guests arrive.”
The little ones surrounded Elizabeth with cries of pleasure, but their mother quickly shepherded them into the house.
Alone in the tiny garden, Elizabeth stroked one horse in particular, her favourite.
Secretly, she had named him Jimmy-boy, and she loved him almost as much as she feared real horses.
“You are not, after all, so frightened of horses, Miss Bennet,” said a voice nearby.
Her heart immediately began to race when she saw Mr Darcy watching her from the garden gate while Thomas’s cheerful voice drifted down from the balcony above, and she recalled how eager he had been to hurry her to the Gardiners.
She suddenly suspected a scheme in Darcy’s benefit, yet the thought vanished almost as quickly as it arose.
Mr Kendall was the duchess’s grandson; Thomas could hardly take sides.
Most likely it was mere coincidence, or perhaps Mr Darcy had simply taken the liberty of arriving early.
“My poor uncle Gardiner,” said Elizabeth, watching Darcy turn the horses round. “He hoped this galloper would teach me to love the real brothers of these little creatures.” She stroked each horse as it passed.
“But it did not succeed,” said Darcy.
“No.”
“Yet it seems that, in the end, a gentleman overcame your fear of horses.”
There was so much resentment in his voice that Elizabeth turned to face him. His expression remained as unreadable as ever, yet his tone betrayed him.
“I do not require any gentleman to overcome my fears and doubts,” she replied. She wished neither to reassure him nor encourage the rivalry she disliked so much.
The competition between the two gentlemen increasingly resembled a sporting pursuit in which she had no wish to participate.
Yet when she looked again at Darcy, the familiar mask of serenity had disappeared.
Concern had taken its place. His feelings were suddenly plain to her, and she smiled.
They stood in her aunt’s garden, far from Kent and all that had happened there.
“Friends?” he asked.
“Yes, of course.”
“Then tell me, Miss Bennet, which was your favourite horse?”
She turned the galloper until Jimmy-boy came beside them and then entrusted him with a secret she had never shared with anyone.
“This one. His name is Jimmy-boy.”
“I suspect that is a secret,” he whispered.
“Yes, it is. A dear one.”
“Thank you. It is the most precious gift I have ever received.”
His words made her tremble with pleasure and expectation. Love seemed to surround them, waiting only to claim them both. She gently touched the horse, and Darcy turned the galloper so that he could stroke the same spot. It became a game that they both enjoyed.
“Pay attention,” she said playfully. “Jimmy-boy loves only me.”
“The little horse and I are of the same opinion, then,” he replied.
He moved a little closer, determined to ask her to marry him.
“Elizabeth—”
Many voices suddenly called them to dinner from the balcony above, and the spell was broken.
But that delightful moment in the garden was rapidly shattered when she learned that the rest of the family had arrived half an hour late after Tom discovered a loose wheel.
It became obvious—her uncle had arranged the meeting with Darcy, and her glance in his direction contained no gratitude.
She briefly wondered whether Darcy had known of the scheme, but soon dismissed the idea.
Thomas was far too cunning to involve him in such manoeuvres.
Then she witnessed the gentlemen's bows, which resembled a duel more than a polite greeting. Their rivalry displeased her. She had never desired to become the object of such a contest.
Nobody except Thomas noticed how distracted Elizabeth and Darcy remained afterwards.
They scarcely looked at one another and spoke very little to anyone around them.
Mr Kendall, seated opposite Elizabeth, tried repeatedly to attract her attention, whilst she continued eating with stubborn determination, her eyes fixed upon her plate.
By the end of dinner, her feelings had settled somewhat, yet she found herself returning to the same dilemma.
Her heart beat for Mr Darcy, but was he the husband who could give her the life she desired?
The ton she would be expected to entertain, the arrogance of his peers, and that somewhat futile existence amongst the ladies of his society disturbed her.
She had always wished for a more meaningful way of living and had imagined true love as the means of attaining it.
Then her thoughts wandered back to the garden and to Darcy's use of her Christian name.
The interrupted question remained before her, though she made no attempt to answer it.
∞∞∞
“I need time,” Elizabeth declared to her aunt when the gentlemen had left the ladies alone.
“I cannot believe you keep saying that,” said Mrs Gardiner. “Are you in love?”
Elizabeth did not answer.
“Elizabeth, answer the question.”
“And if Mr Darcy is not my great love?”
“Love does not come in pounds like flour. It is like a cloud that surrounds you, like the air around us. You feel it with your heart…and with your body.”
She spoke reluctantly, though she felt gentler language would not serve. Elizabeth’s blush came so quickly that Mrs Gardiner could not mistake its meaning.
Elizabeth was in love. Mrs Gardiner felt certain.
Yet the spirited young woman she knew so well had become uncertain of both her feelings and her future.
Her sisters, even Mary, embraced their altered circumstances with enthusiasm.
Elizabeth alone had become reflective, determined to plan every step of her life, as though the freedom granted by her uncle’s generosity imposed an obligation to use it wisely.
“You are beautiful, intelligent, and so well educated that I do not know another young lady like you. I expect you to reach for the stars, not settle for a modest life in a shabby little town. London is wonderful and offers far more opportunities than any other place in England…or Scotland,” she said, looking at her niece insistently.
“I cannot understand how you can entertain such thoughts. I shall repeat what I have already told you. Mr Kendall is not the gentleman for you.”
“How can you say that? You have only met him twice.”
“It is enough to form my opinion. He is not at ease, either in the duchess’s house or in ours, though ours is much less grand and probably closer to what he has known at home.”
“Being poor is not a fault! And now I have a significant dowry. It is no longer important that I choose a husband who can save my family, as it once was,” said Elizabeth defiantly.
“Husband? Really, Lizzy!”
“Yes, husband. Mama has spent our entire lives teaching us to look upon every gentleman as a possible husband.”
“And since when do you take advice from your mother? Your mother has nothing to do with this. You are already considering him as a possible husband after only a few days’ acquaintance.
Is that not true?” Mrs Gardiner made no attempt to conceal her dissatisfaction while Elizabeth hesitated to answer.
“So?” Mrs Gardiner pressed, determined to understand what was happening with her favourite niece.
“Marriage, no. Yet I have realised that living amongst people such as Lady Catherine and those we met at the theatre is not the future I desire.”
“You will not live near Lady Catherine. Besides, I imagine a husband and wife choose their circles together; they are not dictated by one alone.”
“Let us say that Mr Darcy does not like my family, and I do not like his. How do you solve that problem?”
“How can you say that he does not like your family? I have seen Mr Darcy with your father, Thomas Bennet, and even with my husband. He enjoys their company. They have gone fishing together, and Mr Darcy invited us to dinner.
“I did not like my mother-in-law at all. Your grandmother was not kind, and she considered her son the Prince of Wales. We met from time to time, and I tried to be polite, if never particularly warm. Mr Gardiner, however, never knew that.”
“I did not know either.”
“Yes, because family is, after all, your husband and children. The rest are relatives. But stop, Lizzy. Tell me what is truly happening. It seems to me that the duchess has influenced you in the worst possible way, entirely without intending it. If you follow the lesson of her own story, she would be the first to tell you to marry the man you love and allow nothing else to interfere. It is absurd to draw the opposite conclusion.”
“The opposite conclusion?”
“Yes. She left your uncle, the son of a hat trader, for a future duke. One can understand aspiring to a better life, but you—”
“I want a peaceful life.”
“There is no such thing. Marriage is difficult even when you love your husband.”
“I want to be the mistress of my own life. At last, I can do that without other considerations. Ultimately, that is my uncle’s gift, and that is what I am trying to do.”
“Mr Gardiner once told me that money can change a person. During the last few years, with your uncle’s increasing prosperity, we have tried very hard not to change. We have redecorated our house, and our children may attend better schools, but your uncle and I hope that we remain the same people.
“You, my dear, have changed as well, though in a different way. Most newly wealthy people wish to display their fortune. You seem determined to hide yours in a simple life, in a little town, with an unremarkable husband.”
“No, it is not like that,” said Elizabeth.
“Then explain how it is.”
But she could not.
∞∞∞
Overcoming her hesitation, Mrs Gardiner approached Thomas Bennet as soon as the gentlemen returned. They stood together in silence, watching Elizabeth converse with the duchess.
“I am afraid,” said Mrs Gardiner unexpectedly.
Thomas immediately understood her concern.
“Please do not be, Mrs Gardiner. The troublesome party arrived a few minutes too early today,” he replied with a smile.
“I am convinced that another ten minutes in the garden would have left us celebrating an engagement. Nothing has been lost, merely postponed.”
“Elizabeth rarely had doubts before, and never whims—”
“Then let us allow her the right to be like any other young lady of her age. This is simply her way of adapting to a new situation. Is it unusual? Certainly. Then again, Elizabeth is an unusual young lady.”
“Mr Kendall is not for her, if you will excuse me for saying so—”
“Of course not. And you may be quite certain that she will choose the right man.”