Chapter 21
Knox
There is nothing sexier than a woman in a guy’s clothes.
His clothes.
The little black dress was bad enough, but one blink of Everly in my sweats and kick-around-the-house flannel shirt had mind-altering effects.
I palm the greasy popcorn bag propped between us. Our hands collided during a dive for exploded kernels a few minutes ago, and ever since, I’ve been doing my darnedest to not let it happen again.
I’ll do whatever it takes to remain as good a man as Everly thinks I am.
Man, it’s going to be a long night.
My mouth waters at the thought of the goodnight kiss I plotted, a plan now by the wayside.
A crummy motel room is not first-kiss worthy.
Everly deserves special. More to the point, unless I’m the only one feeling the heat, the air in here is electric.
The spark of our lips meeting could ignite an uncontrolled burn.
I sweep a glance around the room. Sure enough, there’s no fire extinguisher on standby, just a whole lot of privacy.
“You want more water?” I hit the floor fast and stalk to the minifridge. I feel her gaze.
“Haven’t even touched my first yet. I’m good.”
Yeah, too good. Unhelpfully good.
I torque off the cap and down half a bottle, letting the icy water have a cooling—hopefully, chilling—effect.
Meanwhile, Everly scrapes together the handful of popped kernels my sudden escape spilled.
She deposits them on the nightstand on her side of the bed.
I scoop them up and throw them away, then linger near the trash can. Her side of the bed?
Shoot.
At least there’s no kissing in the cartoon humming away.
“Aren’t you going to watch?” Everly, merciless, pats the spot I vacated for very good reason.
What if I am the only one feeling the heightened energy?
Now that sucks the wind from my sails. I draw from my collection of fast food napkins on the table, handing them to her and reclaiming my spot. But I park one foot on the floor like an actor in an old timey movie.
My phone on the built-in night table lights. Rand.
Thanks, but I don’t need any reminders of what this day was supposed to be, nor am I ready to hash out what feels like the worst betrayal of my life.
Truthfully, this isn’t the first fissure in Rand’s and my brotherly bond.
As far back as memory goes, I towered above my peers.
It was fun and games for me, but man, Rand, two years my senior, hated how I did the same with him by the time I was five.
Sibling rivalry kicked in early and ran hardcore.
He resented living in my literal shadow, robbing him of a traditional perk of being the elder brother.
Mostly, I worshipped the guy, but yeah, I wasn’t always above throwing my size in his face as warranted, which sometimes it was.
Of all the men in the world, why did she have to choose him?
Of all the women in the world, why did my only brother go for her?
Go for and got.
Apart from that mess, I want to kiss Everly so bad—and if holding her happens to make the hurt go away, I’m good with that, too.
She’s not your rebound, Knox. Honestly, I’m not in need of the reminder. I have a strong sense Everly is on course to be far more than that. The last thing I want to do is mess things up with her because I’m hung up on an unworthy ex.
I am not hung up on Becca. It’s the entirety of the situation that’s tripping me up.
“Everything okay over there?”
I consider my hand in the air and realize I just swept it through my hair as I do when I fall into one of my contemplative zones. Probably, I sighed too. “I’m fine. Just tired.”
She yawns, exhaling sleepily. “I guess we should go to…sleep.”
Sleep. That’s better than bed, one of many euphemisms for the elephant in the room.
My gaze falls to her mouth. My swallow is painfully hard. “Guess so.” The credits are rolling, and without a distraction, my mind has zero hope of staying on course. “Where’s the remote?”
As my hand fishes around for the control, it collides with hers on the same hunt. Both of us jerk back like we touched fire.
I turn off the television, get the extra blanket, and start unfolding.
“What are you doing?”
“Making my bed.”
“On the floor? Eww. The carpet is disgusting.”
I shrug. “Don’t think I’ll fit in the bathtub.”
Everly giggles. “Probably not.” She stands up, a little off-balance. “Can I get under the covers?”
I don’t chance looking at her as I shake out the blanket. I catch it to me before it hits the, yes, nasty, carpet. “If you dare. I shower every night. Promise.”
“I wasn’t worried.”
I let her comment ride, heap the thin blanket back onto the table, and retreat to the bathroom. Inside, I press my forehead to the wall and deliver a peptalk to myself. Whisper a prayer for good measure.
When I return, I know in an instant I might as well have tossed my effort into the waste basket.
Everly has turned off the lamp on her side of the bed—her side of the bed—and somehow manages to look even more enticing.
It’s not like she’s trying or anything, but she’s taken off the rhinestone clip that’s been holding her hair from her face all night, and its absence makes her luscious hair wisp around her face for an even softer look.
“We can both sleep on the bed, Knox.”
I stare.
“Aw, it’ll be fine. Yes, it’s a weird situation, but we can handle it. We’re both adults here.”
Doesn’t she realize that’s precisely the problem?
“Why don’t I sleep under the covers and you sleep on top with the blanket?”
Trust me, that’s no solution. But, the way I see it, arguing only stands to make matters more awkward. If she’s chill with the arrangement, then surely I can do my part.
“Fine.” I prop the extra pillow on top of the one already occupying the empty spot—the empty spot beside a gorgeous woman. Don’t want to bust her eardrum with my snoring or anything.
Right. Like I’m going to sleep tonight.
I shut off the lamp on my side and bury myself under the blanket. Next to me, Everly’s phone screen glows, reflecting off her face. “Hey, look. There’s actual snow on the radar. Supposedly heading our way.” She turns the device for me to see.
“Fantastic.” I barely peep, keeping my eyes to the safety of the ceiling.
She puts the phone away, and by the drift of her voice, turns toward me. The move feels…intimate. “I’m sorry the weather’s messing with your work, but don’t get too worried. Around here, half the time, the wintry weather never materializes. The pink and blue blobs on the radar only tease us.”
“It’s already been sleeting for hours,” I remind her. The tinkle of icy pellets striking the aluminum awning over the sidewalk is audible.
“Hmm. You make a good point.” The covers pull beneath me as she adjusts her position. “Well then, since the damage is already done, I’ll go ahead and pray for snow. If that’s okay with you?”
“You’re asking my permission to pray?”
“It feels rude to pray for something you don’t want. It’s just, I love snow sooo much. And it’s almost Christmas, too. How cool is that?”
I can’t help laugh. “Sure, Everly, pray away.”
We get plenty of the white stuff at home, so I’m mostly over it, but if fluffy white flakes make Everly happy, I’m game. I’d hate for my guys not to receive the bonus Rand dangled for finishing on time—but so little is in my control. Occasionally, I have to remind myself of this kind of thing.
Any other time, the sound of the sleet would put me to sleep in a heartbeat. Now, it accentuates the quiet—which allows for every other thought in my brain to run amuck.
I hear faint mumbling. “Everly?”
“Yeah?”
“What are you doing?” For some reason, I whisper.
“Praying,” she whispers back, as if it’s obvious.
“You were serious about that?” Add on another layer of adorableness.
“Sure—but I’ve moved on from snow.”
Lovely. Everly’s being all holy, and I’m over here doing my darnedest to extricate myself from the mental picture I’ve worked on all week, the one where I imagined kissing her—and kissing her good—at the conclusion of our date.
Worse, that fantasy has given way to one of kissing her in the snow. Of holding her against me, of—
I pitch off the useless blanket, snag it back up, and grab the top pillow.
“What are you doing?”
“Floor,” I grumble in a tone that may require an apology at some point. I stretch out onto the padding-less carpet, trying not to consider all the feet that have traipsed who knows what onto it over the last decade.
She’s quiet. Too quiet.
“Everly…”
“I understand,” she whispers.
The simple words hold the ring of confession and tell me I’m not alone in my suffering. Honestly, I might cry into my pillow if I thought the feelings blossoming between us were a one way street.
Sheets rustle. “Can I ask you something?”
I picture her up on one elbow, thoughtful. Hair tumbling…
“Sure.”
“What’s the real reason you aren’t in the Christmas spirit this year?”
The headlights of a car inching through the parking lot sweep a wedge of light across the ceiling.
A guy can hope a lady doesn’t pick up on certain things unsaid, but when the guy likes that lady, a lot, overall, it’s a good thing when she does.
I fist the top of the blanket. “You know, I’d kind of thought last year might have permanently ruined the holidays for me…but all the decorating with you has been nice. The tree lighting, the party. The movies.”
“I’ve enjoyed it too, Knox.” There’s a tender smile in her voice. “Not an answer to my question though.”
I sigh, locking my hands in a cradle behind my head. “I know.” Iridescent flecks in the popcorn ceiling reflect greenish light cutting through the top of the drape. “You know what tomorrow should be?”
“What?”
I take a deep breath, exhaling it slowly. “My first wedding anniversary.”
Everly
Hold still, heart.
My brain runs wild. He mentioned an ex, not a fiancée—or a wife, for that matter. My fingers curl around the top of the sheet. “What, um…what happened?”