Chapter 22 #2
A gust of wind raises some flakes from the dead and whips them around the pickup as Knox drives me home.
“You’re sighing over there, Ev. Everything okay?”
I steal a peek, about the hundredth of the morning. He’s a hard man to stop looking at. If the armrest weren’t making a nuisance of itself, I’d happily snuggle into his side. “Just thinking.”
He spares a quick glance from the icy road. Thankfully, we’re some of the only crazies out and about in these road conditions. Around here, people hunker down until the melting is complete.
“I can tell. Sounds heavy.” He pulls his cheek between his teeth and seems to be gnawing. “Is this about last night?” His hands seem to squeeze the steering wheel.”
Along the knuckles on his right hand, there’s an inch cut that’s scabbed over. Last night, I wanted to trail my finger across it when our hands collided in the popcorn bowl. I didn’t, because while I can stand up for myself when necessary and speak up when called upon, I have a timid side.
In this case, not only do I want to touch Knox for my own reasons, I want to because he’s radiating insecurity all of a sudden. I know what it’s like to feel uncertain in a relationship, and I imagine the rebuff he suffered from his ex digs deep. Worse, lingers.
I wish he didn’t need to be staring at the road to keep us alive. I’d like to look at him straight-on to emphasize my reassurances. “Last night was perfect.”
His tight profile relaxes, and he smiles, giving my hand a fast squeeze before returning it to the wheel.
“Actually, though, I was thinking about last night—but not how you mean.”
He steals a peek.
I’d prefer not to admit what I’m thinking, even to myself, but…maybe Knox can offer a fresh perspective about something that started nagging me at the party. “The truth is…I’m not sure about my job.”
“The new one?”
I nod. “I guess I’m feeling like, nice as everyone was, that I’m not going to click with those people.” I ball my hands into a knot. “I’m not exactly the Dallas type.”
He flicks the wipers on to clear accumulating slush. “What’s the Dallas type?”
“In this case? Rich. Snotty. High-falutin’”
“Now there’s a word you don’t hear every day.” He takes a fast glance over. “They seemed happy to have you coming onboard.”
“I guess, but…look at me. I—”
“I look at you all the time, Everly.” His eyebrows pulse like a storybook villain’s.
Good one. Knox is so far from being a baddie. He has to be about the nicest guy on the planet. “Hush. I’m being serious here.”
“So am I.”
“You’re sure chipper all of a sudden.”
“Not all of a sudden. Since kissing you in the snow.”
While he grins devilishly, a look that’s not remotely believable considering his true character, I wag my finger.
The glittery, sparkly rings I wore last night flash, out of place with me still in his flannel and, of course, as passenger princess in a muddy work truck. “Are you going to let me speak?”
His expression jolts, and he risks both our lives by taking one hand off the wheel to cover mine. “I’m sorry. You’re being serious, and I’m messing around.”
Okay, major points for sensitivity and attentiveness.
Mentally, I click the like button on Knox Herd.
“It’s okay. I probably needed to lighten up.
My family will happily tell you I’m way too serious sometimes.
And that’s part of my problem. There’s lots to do in the city, of course, so I guess it can be fun.
” I sigh. “Which we’ve already established I’m not. ”
“We have established nothing of the sort. Last night was great fun, remember?”
I’ll never forget a single second of it. How could I?
But I have the sneaking suspicion Knox has no clue how unforgettable he is.
I stay silent to draw his glance so I can be certain he sees my smile. I want to make sure he knows the depth of my sincerity. “I remember.”
“Good—but go on. You were telling me your concerns.”
I rub my finger along the base of one of my rings. “The city can also be lonely.”
He nods. “Lots of things can be lonely.”
I lean my elbow on the door. “Do you get tired of traveling?”
“I like seeing new places, and I love what I do. But, yeah, living out of a motel room wears thin.”
“The holiday season must make it worse.”
“I guess. Usually I’m able to be home for a week or two around Christmas, but this year is different.”
Knox is a bulwark kind of guy. The kind of man that could tempt a woman to lean on him probably more than she should.
So when a man like him shows vulnerability, it’s something to witness.
I, on the other hand, default to showing too much too often, so almost instantly, I’m second-guessing myself for opening up.
But then…why not? Isn’t honesty a good thing? I think Knox and I both know we’re flirting around the edges of something real here. The possibilities are exhilarating.
“Are you reconsidering the job?”
I look out at the breathtaking snowscape. I bet it’s nowhere near this gorgeous in the middle of the city. I rest my cheek on my knuckles. “I don’t know what I’m thinking.”
The bridge over the freeway, connecting Chandor with the neighborhood where I live, has been sanded, but Knox remains cautious.
Once we’re on my street, he curls his fingers around mine.
“Pray about it, I guess. You’ll know what to do.
” His thumb moves back, forth, and all around on the top of my hand.
Such statements can be trite, but Knox delivers them with his heart in his eyes, making me feel both esteemed and encouraged.
“Thanks.” I tighten my grip and keep holding.
I’m not letting go until I have no other choice.
“You know,” I add, “it’s going to be interesting to see what Mom has to say when we get to the house. ”
“Sounds like she took things well last night.”
“Yeah, but that was totally out of character. Besides, she’s slept since then.”
Knox chuckles, but his knuckles whiten. “To tell you the truth, I’m more concerned about your sister’s reaction.”
“Yeah, I’m sorry about her. She’s been weird lately, and I have no idea why. But no need to worry today. She has mysteriously gone out of town.”
“Mysteriously?”
“Yeah, she got that call last Sunday and her whole mood changed. Then she announced she was going to Colorado to ski with friends. I’ve never even heard of any of the names she mentioned, and she didn’t want to answer questions. So yeah, she’s been totally weird lately.”
“You think there’s a guy involved?”
I grin. “Totally, and if I were being a good sister, I’d be hounding her with annoying messages and phone calls, but as it is, I’ve been kind of distracted myself.”
My comment looks to sit well with Knox, judging by the turned up corner of his mouth. “Good to know I’m not dating a spammer. I’ve been receiving tons of annoying calls lately from an unknown number. No messages, and not appreciated when I’m already snowed under.”
Dating? I love the sound of that.
The truck hesitates before the four-wheel generated traction kicks in and gets the vehicle over the hump and into our driveway.
Stopping flush with the sidewalk that wraps the front of the house, connecting the drive and the front door, Knox takes the truck out of gear.
The humorous smile has been replaced with a thoughtful expression.
“So. Everly, there’s something I’ve been meaning to mention—”
The garage door begins to rise. Mom stands in the opening, beaming. The velvety forest green robe she breaks out every Christmas season is knotted at her waist. Her feet are in black watch plaid slippers that are fleece lined.
She waves like we’re returning from our honeymoon and wants to hear all about—
Unfortunate analogy. My cheeks sizzle.
She motions for me to roll down the window, and when I do, she orders Knox inside for pancakes and bacon. If he was planning on dropping and running, Mom has deftly taken that option off the table.