Chapter 7
I plan to spend all afternoon getting ready for my date with Jordan.
The last date I got dressed up for ended with me being called an absolute bitch and almost swearing off first dates forever.
I’d quite like this one to go better than that, so after a long lie in, I decide to make the rest of the day as nice as I can to put me back on a good footing with dating.
A bath, a delicious lunch, plenty of time to do my hair and make-up and a glass of wine before I set off to the Italian in the village I’ve booked for dinner should be enough to allow me to meet Jordan in a state of serene calmness.
As it is, my serene calmness lasts until twelve thirty, when my phone rings, and I answer a call from my mum.
‘Hi, Mum.’
‘The toastie machine’s broken,’ she opens with.
‘Oh no.’
‘I don’t want soup, so do you fancy meeting for lunch? We can go to Costa. Their toasties will do.’
‘That sounds lovely, but I can’t. I’ve a pile of essays to mark.
’ I don’t like lying to my mother, but she is the last person I should be seeing today.
Since she and Dad divorced, Mum has become a love cynic.
Whenever I tell her about a new man in my life, her reaction is always the same: ‘Be careful. If he sounds too good to be true, he is too good to be true.’ She would never tell me not to bother falling in love, that nothing but trouble comes from it, but she doesn’t need to.
I saw first-hand the hatred that had spilled into Mum and Dad’s marriage at the end, the arguments that they’d quickly shut down when I walked into a room.
Much as Mum tries to tell me it was the both of them, I’ve always felt Dad was more to blame, and I’ve never been close to him since he moved out.
Seeing her today will inevitably lead to her asking what plans I have tonight and to her ripping apart the fragile joy I’ve worked hard on summoning about meeting Jordan with a disdainful look or a withering comment. ‘Can’t you have a break for a while?’
‘I’m sorry I can’t, but I’ll be round tomorrow for tea if that’s still OK?’
‘Fine,’ she says, put out. ‘See you tomorrow then. I’ll have to have the soup, won’t I?’
‘Sorry,’ I try again, but she’s already hung up.
Just as I put my phone down, it rings again.
‘Hello, didn’t think I’d be hearing from you today,’ I say to Elliot.
‘Tell me I’ve not made a massive mistake booking crazy golf for this date tonight?’
‘Does no one say hello anymore?’
‘Sorry, hello, Lizzie. Now tell me I’ve not completely fucked up this date before it’s even begun.’
Ever since Elliot came to my classroom yesterday and told me he’d booked him and Teddy into Putters, the neon-lit indoor crazy mini-golf place in Manchester city centre, I’ve not been able to stop picturing Teddy in high heels and a short skirt trying to bend down with dignity to take a shot.
‘No, you haven’t. It’ll be good fun. You have told her though, right?’
‘Yeah, and she said she thought it was a brilliant idea, but she would say that, wouldn’t she? She would hardly tell me I’m completely shit at coming up with a decent first date.’
‘Er, yeah, she would. If Teddy hates the thought of doing something, she doesn’t do it, so if she’s willing to put herself through a night of crazy golf with you, I’d take that as a very good sign.’
‘OK. That makes me feel better. What are you doing later?’
‘Jordan’s booked a table at Gusto,’ I tell him, pleased that I’ll be attending a perfectly nice candle-lit date this evening.
‘Shit, that’s what I should have done.’
‘It might have been a bit awkward if you did. It’s one thing having these dates on the same night but being in the same restaurant might have been pushing it a bit.’
‘No, I didn’t mean the same place. I should have taken her out for a meal, something romantic, not something that’s probably going to involve us being surrounded by families and groups of teenagers.’
It’s funny hearing him flustered like this. I’d have imagined he’d have been an old hand at setting up a first date by now, and I wonder if he’s like this when meeting other women or if it’s just Teddy.
‘It’ll be fine. It’s a good thing you’re doing something different with Teddy. She’ll appreciate it. Now can I please go and get ready for my date?’
‘Now? How can you possibly start getting ready this early? What the hell do you need to do?’
‘Oh, Elliot, sweet Elliot, you have no idea.’
I try to get on with my pleasant afternoon but minutes after hanging up to Elliot, Teddy calls and I have the other side of the conversation with her about their date tonight.
Teddy tells me how cute she thinks it is that Elliot’s gone for golf as their date but how she’s dreading showing herself up.
She has no idea what the hell you’re meant to wear on a first date crazy golfing with the potential that it might lead to drinks in the city centre afterwards, and I admit I’m drawing a blank there too, but I try to convince her it will be fun, that Elliot will put her at ease and this whole thing is about trying something new, doing things differently, so she should relax and try and enjoy it.
I’m not sure I have any more luck calming her nerves than I did Elliot’s, and as for the rest of the afternoon, all the way up until I’m leaving the flat just before eight, I’m besieged with messages from the two of them.
ELLIOT: Do you think I should text her and ask her to meet for a drink before we start the golf? Starting to think doing this stone cold sober is a poor idea.
LIZZIE: How about you start with a drink and take it from there? That way you can work out how it’s going and if you’re feeling the golf.
ELLIOT: Yeah, that’s a good idea, but I might get there early. That way I can have a few sneaky drinks before she arrives.
LIZZIE: Good plan, but you don’t want to be meeting her smelling of ale.
ELLIOT: Shit, that’s a good point.
Just as I’ve put out one fire, another one starts.
TEDDY: Think I’ve got it. Am going simple with jeans and white T-shirt. What do you think?
LIZZIE: Nice but remember white will light up like the sun under those neon lights.
TEDDY: FUCK!
Jordan is waiting for me outside the restaurant.
He’s facing the other way to me as I approach him, but I know it’s him from the way Karina described him.
Very tall, muscular, dark brown hair cut short, smart dresser.
From the light spilling out from the restaurant, I can see he’s wearing a dark wool jacket, dark slim-fitting trousers and is holding something in his hand that looks like a gift bag.
At the sight of him, little flutters of excitement start to tickle my stomach, and I catch myself smiling.
This isn’t another date I’m meeting from a dating app, this is the man Karina’s picked for me.
He might not have been her first choice, but she’s still picked him, and I very much like what I see so far. I pick up my pace.
‘Jordan?’
He turns and looks down to find me, the top of my head coming up to his shoulder. He smiles at me, and a flush of colour blooms from behind his stubble, running up past his cheekbones. He puts the bag behind his back.
‘Lizzie? Hi, it’s so good to meet you.’
‘You too.’ We don’t air kiss or hug or move to go into the restaurant, just stand there looking at each other, the bag still in hiding.
I’m surprised. Jordan looks like the kind of person who would exude confidence.
His David Beckham levels of style, his height, his presence all tell of someone successful and sure of their place in the world, but it’s clear he’s nervous.
‘What have you got there?’ I ask, tackling what seems to be the source of his red cheeks head on.
‘Nothing. Really, it’s silly. I brought you a gift.’
‘Oh. That’s—’
‘Creepy,’ he offers before I can say how thoughtful it is. ‘I was out this afternoon and thought I’d get you a little something, I don’t know, a kind of hello gift, but now you’re here I’m thinking no one does that, and I feel like an idiot.’
‘Are you joking? Hello gifts should definitely be a thing. You’ve started something that needs to catch on. Can I have it?’
He hesitates before producing the small gold and black gift bag and handing it over.
Rather than taping the top together like I would have, he’s obscured the gift from view by layering black tissue paper on top of it.
Very classy. I pull the paper to one side and take out a Lilo and Stich mug with the words Have a Stitch Day!
written above the image of the little blue creature.
It’s hands down the most random gift I’ve ever received, and a ton of questions instantly arrive in my mind that can really be condensed into one word – why?
He must have read the question in my eyes because he rushes to explain.
‘OK, so I might have texted Karina to ask what kinds of things you liked before tonight, and she might have mentioned you liked Disney.’
I stifle a laugh that out of all the things my best friend could have told him about my likes and interests – the theatre, poetry, cocktails, cats – she’s mentioned my interest in old Disney films I might watch once a month or so, usually when I’m hungover.
‘I love it. I’ll think of you and the phenomenon that is hello gifts whenever I use it,’ I tell him. He laughs, and I can almost see the nerves evaporating off him like steam. ‘Shall we?’
A friendly waitress shows us to our table, and as we weave past the other diners, a fair few make a point of following Jordan’s path, of looking at him admiringly and me critically to see the kind of person he’d date.
By the time we’re shown to a table for two towards the back of the restaurant, I’m in no doubt that Jordan is considered a very attractive man. But do I find him attractive?