Chapter 12 #3
The fizziness in my stomach is squashed by a lead weight as I realise how stupid I’ve been.
‘Teddy?’
In all the scenarios I concocted on my way over, of Elliot opening champagne or him beating himself up, Teddy hadn’t featured in a single one.
Why would she? They’d agreed to press pause until the interview was over.
Which it now is, I realise. What the hell was I thinking?
Girl you’re dating trumps ‘just’ friend every time.
Of course, Elliot was going to ring Teddy first. It’s natural that he’d reach out to her. They might not have been seeing each other while he’s been prepping, but I know for sure Teddy will have been texting him, sending him good luck messages and silly gifs the whole time.
Now she’s here, looking and smelling wonderful, a beautiful camisole tucked into new jeans I’ve not seen before.
Now she’s here, and she’s the one looking after Elliot.
I don’t need to be here at all. God, I shouldn’t be.
I only wish this had occurred to me before I left my flat, before I turned Jordan down.
‘Hi,’ I recover, after staring at her a beat too long. ‘I thought I’d see if Elliot had heard anything yet. About the job.’
Teddy’s face lights up. ‘He got it!’
I’m happy for him, I remind myself. But there’s no way I’m bringing back the excitement I felt minutes ago. No way I’m going be able to pull this back to be anything other than humiliating.
‘That’s amazing!’ I say, desperately trying to imitate her tone. ‘I’m glad I went for the bubbles, ha! Where is he?’ I plan to hand him the champagne and get back in my car as quickly as I can manage.
Teddy doesn’t exactly block my way, but she definitely doesn’t invite me inside either. I look at her, puzzled.
‘He’s actually in the shower. I’m taking him out to celebrate. We’ve got a reservation at San Carlo at half seven, so we’re in a bit of a rush. Maybe you could text him?’
‘Yeah. Absolutely.’
A heavy feeling settles across my chest that has no right to be there.
I should be delighted that my friend has got a new job and my best friend, who I set him up with, is going to treat him to an amazing night to celebrate.
But more than the humiliation that I’m standing here with bread in my bag and champagne in my hand, having presumed it would be me he’d spend his night with, it’s sadness that’s pressing against my chest instead.
Helping Elliot get this job had helped me forget how things had changed between us, how my place in Elliot’s life had shifted, and I wasn’t prepared for this stark reminder.
Now Teddy’s here smiling at me like it’s the most natural thing in the world that she’s opened his door, so I do the only thing I can.
I smile right back. ‘I’ll leave you to it,’ I say.
‘Tell him I’m delighted for him, won’t you? ’
‘Yeah, no problem. And I’ll see you tomorrow night?’
‘You sure will. See you then.’
I thrust the bottle towards her and turn around to walk back down the stairs and through the corridor, desperate to be outside to take some deep gulps of air.
I can feel tears building behind my eyes, but I can’t let them fall.
Not when I know the reason for them is jealousy.
Jealousy that my best friend is now occupying the space in Elliot’s life that I thought was still reserved for me.
The last few weeks have helped me and El get back to how we were before the awkwardness of when he started dating Teddy.
Better than how we were, even. The truth is, I’ve loved being the person he relied on, the first person he called every day, the person he trusted to show his less confident, vulnerable side to.
I’ve never called him a best friend before, not with Teddy and Karina taking those roles, but the last few weeks, I know that’s what I’ve been to him.
Only, that’s gone now. There’s not enough room for both me and Teddy.
Teddy is more than a friend. She’s going to be the one he celebrates with, who he calls, who he plans his life around, and I can’t be jealous of that.
I wanted this, and now it’s here, I can’t cry about it. I won’t let myself. It’s that simple.
In my car, I take out my phone and as I wait for the call to connect, I start to think about tonight the way I should have done from the start.
Elliot not only got his job, but he has Teddy to take him out and make him feel special.
There’s no one better at doing that than Teddy, and he deserves to feel the high that being swept up in her adoration brings.
Then there’s Teddy, my gorgeous and thoughtful best friend who is dating a guy I suggested for her.
She deserves to be happy too. Meanwhile, I was asked out by an amazing, handsome man who couldn’t wait until the weekend to see me next, and I turned him down.
As soon as Jordan picks up, I jump in without hesitation.
‘How long do you reckon it will take you to get to mine? I’ve changed my mind. Saturday is definitely too long to wait until our next date.’