Chapter 22
We organise an emergency summit at Karina’s flat that evening.
Ordinarily, the idea of spending my Saturday night with two loved-up couples when I’m anything but wouldn’t scream best plan ever, but I don’t care.
Tonight is about Teddy, and I want to put into place a plan that will help her get away from her awful boss so badly, I end up arriving a full half hour before I said I would.
Matthew opens the door and to his credit, doesn’t seem at all horrified by how early I am. He gives me a big hug before taking my wicker bag off me.
‘Woah,’ he says, feeling the weight of it. ‘Let me unload all this, and I’ll bring you and Kar a wine.’
‘Thank you. Make sure to use Karina’s giant glasses.’
‘Duh,’ he says, walking to the kitchen.
I wander down the hall into Karina’s lounge.
It’s different in here now Matthew has pretty much moved in.
He’ll be living with her permanently in a few weeks when he moves out of his rented flat.
For years, this place has been my sanctuary, the place we’ve come together to talk about boys or shit dates and to pick ourselves back up.
It’s still the same, only now there’s a pile of Matthew’s books in the corner, a jumper of his on the sofa and a different diffuser that’s less feminine.
‘Karina told me to start with you while she’s finishing off drying her hair.’ Matthew hands me an ice-cold glass of wine and sits on the chair, leaving the sofa free for me and Karina when she joins us.
‘I don’t think I ever fully appreciated how many hours of my life were going to be taken up waiting for Karina to finish getting ready when I agreed to marry her,’ he teases.
‘Yep. If you need to be anywhere, I find it helps telling her you need to meet half an hour earlier than you really do, that way there’s a chance she won’t be late for the real time.’
Matthew bats his hands away. ‘I’m onto that already. And making sure I bring her snacks and drinks while she’s getting ready, so she doesn’t appear at the door ready to go before deciding to turn back to the kitchen as she’s starving.’
‘Nice. Sounds like you’ve got it all sussed out. And I bet you wouldn’t have it any other way.’
A pink tint appears on his cheek. ‘No. I don’t think I would.’
I’m smiling at his words, at how full of love they are, but Matthew must also pick something else up in my expression as his face grows serious and he asks, ‘How are you getting on?’
‘I’m good.’
‘Yeah? I’m sorry about you and Jordan. Have you met anyone since?’
‘No, I’m not sure I can face going back to online dating again, not for a while at least.’ Truthfully, I’ve barely thought about it. I’ve been too busy worrying about Elliot and then Teddy that finding the time to chat for hours online and go on date after date seems impossible.
‘Fair enough. How about in real life, though? I might know some guys.’ He wriggles his eyebrows at me, making me laugh.
‘I’ll bear that in mind.’
Karina comes in and tells me that whatever happens I shouldn’t ever take Matthew up on the offer as his friends, nice as they are, are not dating material.
Before she has chance to join me on the sofa, the buzzer to her flat goes and she rushes to let Teddy and Elliot in.
I take a giant sip of wine and ready myself.
Matthew jumps up to meet them and leads Elliot off to the kitchen, and Teddy and Karina join me on the sofa.
When Elliot and Matthew do come in, there’s some rearranging so Elliot can sit next to Teddy, but they aren’t all over each other like I feared.
Teddy rests a hand on Elliot’s knee, but she keeps her body turned towards me.
Karina moves on to the floor next to my feet, and Matthew takes the armchair next to Elliot.
Instead of being a gooseberry like I’d thought I might be, I’m in the middle of it all.
We drink and we talk like one group of friends, and it’s fun, but it’s also hard.
Elliot is so great with my friends, so likeable and engaged.
He just fits in so well. I don’t think like this at work, but here, it’s so much harder to keep Elliot in the work-friend box I’ve been successfully cramming him in.
‘Right, down to business,’ Karina tells us all when she’s refilled our drinks. ‘What are we going to do, Teddy?’
‘Fuck knows,’ she says, and she tries to put a smile on her face, but there’s too much upset there to keep it on, and it soon wobbles off.
‘Hey,’ I say, putting my arm around her. ‘There is no way on earth you are going to stay in this shitty job, being this unhappy. You are too amazing, and we’re not going to let that happen.’
‘I don’t feel amazing. Most of the time, I feel this big.’ She holds up her thumb and forefinger with only the smallest slither of space between them.
‘Ed’s a fucking bully,’ Karina says. ‘And we’re not going to let him win.’
‘There’s not a chance we’re going to let a smug bastard in a bad suit hold you hostage in a job you’re far too good for. No one is leaving this room until we’ve come up with a plan for his demise, got it?’ I ask everyone.
Teddy hugs me before sitting up on the couch and squaring her shoulders, ready to do battle.
I look round at everyone else to check they’re onboard, but when I turn to Elliot, he looks away.
Underneath the collar I’m sure I can see colour creeping up his neck.
He stares at his beer bottle for a few seconds, and when he pulls his head back up to look at me, it’s to give me the usual, warm Elliot smile I receive at work.
There’s something controlled about it though, like he’s had to work on it, and I wonder what he was thinking when I looked his way.
I smile right back, but I know mine is just as forced.
I turn my attention back to everyone else, and we go into planning mode which starts off sensible with talk of Citizen Advice Bureaus and contacting other estate agencies to try to work out if everyone knows what a knob Ed is, but there’s so much wine flowing that the conversation evolves quickly.
Karina has come up with and discounted a number of ideas, most of which are criminal.
Matthew has been pretending to look alarmed at everything she’s said and keeps saying how much of an education tonight has been about what happens when you cross Karina.
I’ve just come up with a plan for Teddy to start her own estate agency right across the road from Ed – the idea being she would take all his clients as well as securing multiple million-pound properties before having a moment like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman when she faces Ed and says, ‘Big mistake, huge,’ – when I pick up my glass and realise it’s empty.
‘Back in a sec,’ I say as I get up to go to the kitchen.
‘Bring crisps,’ Karina shouts after me.
I hadn’t realised anyone had joined me until I turn round and find Elliot standing behind me.
‘Shit, you made me jump.’
‘Sorry. Teddy wanted me to check if Karina had any chocolate.’
‘Oh. Karina always has chocolate. It’s in the top cupboard.’
We move around each other in the narrow kitchen in near silence.
I ask Elliot to pass me a bowl from the top shelf, and he asks if there’s anything else he should bring through.
It’s the simplest of conversations, but it’s tinged with so much awkwardness – not just from me, but from him – full silence becomes the better option.
As I rush to get new supplies, I try not to think about how uncomfortable it is, and how grateful I am he can’t read my thoughts.
But it’s hard to do that when Elliot keeps turning away whenever our eyes meet.
He starts to move around the kitchen like he’s trying his very best to put as much distance as he can between us. Without doubt, this isn’t one way.
‘You OK?’ I ask. ‘You’ve been quiet tonight.’
‘Yeah.’ He clears his throat. ‘Yeah, good. Tonight’s been just what Teddy needed. You’re, erm …’
‘Yeah?’
‘You’re an incredible friend, Lizzie. Teddy’s really lucky to have you.’
‘Thanks.’ It was a good thing for him to say, but I can’t help but feel uncomfortable taking the compliment knowing how much I’ve thought about Elliot, how hard I’ve found Teddy being with him.
If I really was an incredible friend, I shouldn’t have been anything other than delighted for her, but my feelings have been so much more complicated than that.
‘I hope tonight is helping,’ I say, changing the subject.
I think it is. As the night has wound on and become sillier, I can see how much she’s started to relax.
‘She’s been through a tough time lately.
You both have,’ I say, and instinctively, I put my hand on his arm.
There’s nothing to the gesture, so I’m surprised when Elliot shifts his body to pull away from my touch.
I look at him quizzically, and he’s back to avoiding eye contact.
‘You sure you’re OK tonight?’
‘I’m fine.’
‘And you and Teddy?’ I presumed the restraint in their affection tonight was for my benefit, that everyone had a secret agreement not to make me feel left out, but thinking about it, Teddy and Elliot haven’t seemed as close tonight as they have been, not as touchy feely or eager to catch each other’s eyes like they’ve done when we’ve been out before.
‘We’re fine. I mean, it’s not been easy lately with Teddy’s job stuff and school and—’
But before there’s time for him to say anything else, the kitchen door opens, and Matthew pops his head round.
‘Come on you two, hurry up. The karaoke machine’s going on, and you’re needed, Lizzie. Karina and Teddy have told me to get you back so you can do the high bits in the Wicked melody.’
Matthew takes the crisps from my hands and marches me out. As soon as we start singing, the rest of the evening speeds by. Matthew, it turns out, is a terrible singer. Elliot has a gravelly, sexy tone to his voice when he sings a Justin Bieber song, which makes me smile, because of course he does.
We’re having such a good time, and I’m so busy thinking about how much good has come out of the ex-plan, that I can almost forget that moment in the kitchen.
Almost, until we’re all leaving and hugging and kissing, and Elliot leans in to give me hug so light he’s barely touching me, and he walks out of Karina’s flat alone before Teddy has escaped a very pissed Karina’s arms, and I know for sure there is definitely something going on with him.