Chapter 29
The next morning, Teddy sends a message about an article she read about Ariana Grande’s exercise regime and our group chat springs back into life.
Karina wastes no time telling us how glad she is we’re speaking again because we’re all due to visit a wedding venue on Saturday afternoon she’s seen on Instagram, and she didn’t have a clue how she’d cope without her two bridesmaids being there to help her work out if it’s the place where she wants to get married.
It turns out the venue is every bit as spectacular as it appears on Insta – if we don’t look down.
There’s Sistine Chapel-esque art on the ceilings, sparkling chandeliers and classical paintings – aptly of couples in love – displayed in heavy gold frames.
It’s when our eyes travel below waist height that the problems begin.
The large, round wooden tables filling the space have seen better days, some of them wonky, some heavily marked.
Almost every one of the white chair covers is stained, and the carpet is more battered old pub than beautiful old wedding venue.
The gaudy design does nothing to disguise the dark spots where alcohol has been spilt, and the smell of beer emanating from it is so strong it must have been doused in the stuff.
When I step on to it, I’m sure it’s going to squelch.
‘Wow,’ Karina says, bypassing the many, many issues the room has in order to walk over to the floor-to-ceiling windows at the end of the room, which overlook the lake. ‘This is perfect.’
Teddy and I exchange a look and swiftly move over to join her before she ends up booking the venue there and then with Louise, the receptionist who has been showing us around sub-par hotel rooms and the two other dingy function rooms Lakeview Country Club has to offer.
‘Easy there, tiger,’ Teddy says quietly, so Louise won’t hear us. ‘I’ll admit the view is nice, but we’re far off perfect, here. Can’t you smell the place? Do you really want to take off your wedding dress after you’re married and be hit with the smell of gone-off ale?’
‘Well, no,’ Karina admits.
‘No, you don’t. You deserve somewhere with a nice view and a carpet that’s been cleaned since the nineties.’
‘But—’ Karina objects, pointing to the view.
We all look out at the glittering lake and the rolling Cheshire hills gently rising behind it.
It’s the exact view that drew Karina in when she saw it online.
If you could guarantee a perfect summer’s day, where the wedding could take place outside and guests could meander by the shore and a marque could be set up, Karina’s right, it would be perfect.
Only we’re in North West England where good weather can never be guaranteed, and you’d be as likely to be holed up inside on a summer’s day in July as you would in the middle of winter.
I take Karina’s shoulders and turn her back around, so her view is of the function room we’ve walked through. She shakes her head and, as expected, the spell is broken.
‘You’re right. This isn’t the place,’ she says, deflated.
‘Don’t worry. It’s the first one you’ve seen. There are going to be so many better places than this. You’ll find somewhere you love inside and out. I promise. Shall we go?’
We manage to get past Louise and the brochures she keeps trying to thrust on to Karina and step back out into the warm spring Saturday afternoon.
‘What do you want to do now?’ Teddy asks.
‘Quick walk round the lake before we need to go?’ I suggest. We’re due at Mum’s this evening for the first BBQ of the year.
When Mum suggested it, I wasn’t sure if it was too much, but both Karina and Teddy said they’d love to come straightaway.
Even so, I want to catch Teddy alone, to make sure she’s really fine with me extending the day’s plans, and I get my chance when Karina rings Matthew to tell him it’s a good job he was working today and couldn’t come and see his potential wedding venue, as it’s a dive.
‘Are we OK?’ I ask. Teddy’s seemed fine with me all day, and she’s done a pretty good job of acting like nothing’s happened in front of Karina, but I need to check.
‘We’re fine. We’ve never let a man get between us, and I’ve no intention of starting now. Which makes it even more important that you realise I meant what I said about you not having me as a reason you and Elliot aren’t together.’
‘I won’t,’ I tell her honestly.
Karina finishes her call, and we head for the lake. We don’t walk far. As soon as we cross the manicured lawn to get to the lake’s edge, Teddy plonks herself on the grass, stretches out her legs, points her face up to the sun, and Karina and I do the same.
‘God, this is nice,’ Teddy says, her eyes scrunched closed and a smile on her face as the heat from the sun reaches us. ‘After the last few weeks, I could do with lying on a beach doing nothing for a month, but this will have to do.’
Her eyes flick to me, and I look away guiltily. By some miracle she might have forgiven me, but it’s going to take a while for me not to feel awful about what I did.
‘It’s not getting better?’ Karina asks, presuming she means work.
‘No. Not at all.’
‘I can’t believe you’re still there.’
‘Actually, I’m not. I quit. Or, more precisely, I told Ed to shove his poxy job up his arse.’
‘You did?’ I ask, amazed.
‘Thank fuck for that,’ Karina says, pulling her into a hug, and I join them. Teddy puts her arms round us both and laughs as Karina and I cheer.
‘Finally,’ I say after we’ve released Teddy. ‘I’ve been waiting to hear you say that for months now. Have you found something else?’
Her eyes rest on me, and she looks a little uneasy which I don’t understand at all.
‘Not quite. But I do have this idea I’m getting excited about, thanks to you, Lizzie.’
‘Me?’
‘Yeah. I’ve been thinking a lot recently about your plan.’ She gives me a knowing look, and I feel my cheeks colour. ‘Jordan and you were hardly a love of the ages, nor were me and Elliot, but it did work.’
‘Did it?’
‘Of course it did. Look where we are now,’ she says, her hand motioning to the view. ‘We’re looking at wedding venues for Karina and Matthew, who have found love, and that’s because of your idea.’
‘I guess so,’ I say. ‘But what’s that got to do with selling houses?’
Teddy laughs. ‘Nothing at all, you dope, but it has everything to do with my new idea. Turns out, I’m not sure my ambition is to sell houses, after all.
I think I want to work for myself, to build something on my own and to make a success of it.
If you’re OK with it, I’d really like to use your idea for a new dating app. ’
She smiles at Karina, who nods and urges Teddy to go on, and I realise I’m the only one hearing about this for the first time today.
‘I thought I could call it My Best Ex. It wouldn’t be another random app full of strangers that you scroll through and swipe for based on a few pictures and whatever details about themselves they can be arsed to give, but an app in which people can recommend the people they’ve been out with, where they can vouch for them being great and genuine and not idiots who profess to wanting to find love but only want to find their latest conquest.’
‘That’s interesting. But do you really think people would bother to recommend people they’ve been out with? Would you?’
‘One hundred per cent. It would be the person wanting to go on to the app who would do the work, they’d just have to ask an ex to recommend them, to write a few lines to say what they were like when they went out.
It’s kind of a pay-it-forward idea, for those dates or relationships that don’t work out, but not because of anything the person did, just because you’re not compatible. What do you think?’
‘I think it sounds wonderful. But where would you even start?’
‘That’s where Karina comes into it,’ she says.
‘Karina reckons a client of hers can help me develop the app, and she would score brownie points for bringing me in as a customer for them, so it’s a win, win.
I’ve got some money already put aside, and I’ll need a loan for the rest, but I think it can be done. ’
‘Does Ed have a clue what you’re doing? He wouldn’t make it hard for you, would he, now you’ve told him to shove his job?’
‘Oh, I don’t think poor Ed will have much free time to make anything hard for me.
As well as quitting, I also made sure to tell Ellory Mackenzie about the viewing he gave you two and what a misogynistic pig he was, so she’s dropped him and called him out on her social media.
And I might have given her names of his best clients so she can tag them and make sure they find out how awful he is too. ’
‘Oh my God, I love you,’ Karina says, throwing her arms around her again.
‘You approve, then?’ Teddy asks, turning to me.
‘Of course I do. It’s a wonderful idea. You’re going to make it such a success.’
This is perfect for Teddy. It’s the leap she needed, and I’m beyond happy she’s taken it. I give her another hug, squeezing her tightly, so glad I still get to do that, and I get to stick around to see her come back to herself. ‘I am so proud of you.’
‘And I’m so ready to get to your mum’s house and sit in the sun eating burnt sausages,’ she says once I’ve let her go. ‘Shall we go, Kar?’
Karina looks back at the country club one last time. ‘Yeah, definitely.’
Mum surpasses herself by having an array of salads and only a little bit of burnt food on one plate laid out for us when we arrive.
Karina and Teddy fuss around her, telling her how great everything looks and how nice it is to be here.
Teddy tells Mum her idea for the app, and Mum asks practical question after practical question before declaring it a cracking idea that she knows will work out.
We eat the delicious food and declare it the best BBQ we’ve ever had.
‘We’ll have to get you on My Best Ex app when it’s up and running, Stella,’ Teddy says when the sun’s disappeared and we have come inside to warm up in the lounge.
‘No, love. That’s not for me.’