Chapter 11
“That was Charlie. They’re on their way up,” Anne told Steven as she hung up her cell phone. “All of them.”
“All of them?”
“The whole crew. I’m excited to meet Spencer’s other sisters.” She was munching on a cracker, relishing the sense of relief both of her girls would be home safe again.
“What about the guys? Are they coming up as well?”
“I don’t know. She said everyone, but weren’t they planning to drop the guys off to take showers?”
“We’ll find out,” said Steven as he walked to answer the doorbell. Anne was thinking how nice it was to be a part of something fun after being locked away in the apartment all week. Going to the hospital for Emily’s emergency didn’t count as an outing.
The doors opened and chaos erupted. Charlie came in, laughing, followed by three girls, about her height. All were excited and giggling as they rushed into the penthouse checking out the interior with curious glances. Then came Grace, conversing with a young man with close-cropped hair and a goatee. Next came a tall, broad-shouldered fellow with blond hair, cradling the limp body of Emily in his arms. Spencer, who was obviously fuming, followed right behind him.
Anne struggled to stand up. “What’s wrong with Emily?”
“She’s okay,” said the blond man with a smile. “She’s just sleeping.”
“Because you drugged her!” accused Spencer.
“I didn’t drug her. I gave her some pain medication.”
“Like I said, you drugged her. And you should’ve let me carry her.” Anne could almost see steam coming out of Spencer’s ears. “What did you give her, anyway?” he demanded.
“I gave her some acetaminophen with hydrocodone. Where should I put her?” he asked Anne.
“Please, lay her here on the couch.”
“Okay, but you should know she’s pretty dirty.” He nodded to Anne. “Hi, I’m Josh.”
“He saved Emily’s life today,” said Charlie. “Him and Brad.”
“I saved her first,” grumbled Spencer.
“Hi, I’m Brad.” The other young man walked over to offer his hand to Anne.
“I’m Anne, Emily and Charlie’s mom, and this is their father.”
Steven moved through the crowd to offer his hand to the young men. “Hi. I’m Steven.”
Brad and Josh stared with wide eyes at Steven.
“Steven Gherring? Are you Steven Gherring?” asked Josh, pumping his hand.
“I’m afraid so.” He chuckled.
Brad grabbed his hand and shook it. “Nice to meet you, sir. Charlie didn’t tell us who her dad was.”
“Technically, I’m their stepdad, but today I think I deserve to be called Dad.”
“I agree,” said Anne. “You definitely get dad status.”
“I’ll give you dad status for letting us use the limo,” said Charlie, giving Steven a hug and kiss on the cheek.
“Nice to meet you,” Josh said to Steven. “And thanks for the ride home.”
“Thanks to both of you for taking care of Emily for us and bringing her home,” said Steven.
Spencer added sullenly, “And for giving Emily illegal drugs.”
“It wasn’t illegal,” Josh growled.
“Codeine—without a prescription!” He spat back.
Josh’s smile didn’t reach his eyes. “But you see, I’m a doctor and so is Brad. So it was perfectly legal for us to give her hydrocodone.”
Spencer’s face deflated and he stomped into the kitchen.
“You’re both doctors?” asked Anne.
“Yes, Ma’am,” said Brad. “We’re third year residents at Mercy General.”
“She needs that foot elevated, and she needs to take some anti-inflammatories for the sprain,” Josh said. “But, I’m pretty sure nothing’s broken. Icing it would also be good—twenty minutes on, twenty minutes off.”
“What about dinner?” asked Charlie. “Can you wake her up?”
Anne frowned down at her sleeping daughter. “If you gave her hydrocodone, she’ll probably be out cold until tomorrow morning.”
Josh chuckled. “Well, she warned me she had a strong reaction to drugs. But I didn’t know she was that bad.”
“Mom,” said Charlie, “I told the guys they could shower off and change here, so we could go eat. Is that okay?”
“Sure,” said Anne, glancing at Steven for confirmation.
“No problem,” Steven said. “Follow me. We’ve got a couple of showers available.” He led Josh and Brad into the back.
Grace dragged her sisters over to the couch. “Mrs. Gherring, these are my sisters. Olivia, Hannah, and Claire.”
“Nice to meet you,” said Anne. “They’re so tall! What happened to you, Grace?”
“We think her dad was the mailman.” Olivia waggled her eyebrows at Grace, who whacked her sister on the back of her head.
“My Grandma was short, too. And she tells me what we lack in height is made up for in beauty.”
“I think it’s made up for in mouth. Ow!” Olivia giggled as Grace whacked her again.
“Are you in school, Olivia?” asked Anne.
“Yes, ma’am. I’m in nursing school.”
“And what about you, Hannah?”
“I just finished my first year of college—majoring in undecided.”
“Way to go Hannah. Keep it up and you can come be a ski bum with me.” Charlie gave her a high-five.
“Claire? What about you?”
“I’m a junior in high school next year. And I’m going to be an accountant.”
“Claire, you can’t even keep up with your purse. How will you keep track of people’s money?” Olivia stifled a laugh.
“Easy—it’s all virtual. I’m great with virtual stuff, like video games.”
“What about you, Grace? Are you still in school?”
“No, ma’am. I teach first grade, but I’m off for the summer.”
“The bad thing is she’s the same size as her students,” teased Olivia.
Spencer wandered back into the room and sat down across from the couch, staring at Emily, his mouth downturned.
Anne cleared her throat, catching his attention.
“I’m sorry she’s asleep, Spencer. Are you going to dinner? I know you’re starving, and she’s not likely to wake up tonight.”
“You should come to dinner, Spencer. It’ll be fun.” Charlie walked behind him to nudge his shoulder.
“With the two fabulous doctor heroes?” he asked sarcastically.
“I think you should stay home, you old grump,” said Grace. “Why don’t you like them? They probably saved Emily’s life. You should be grateful.”
“Well, I really saved her life. And today I hiked twenty miles, running most of the way. It’s not my fault she was on a different hike.”
“You’re right, Spencer.” Anne gave him her most reassuring smile. “We haven’t forgotten you saved her life. And if you hadn’t run twenty miles, we wouldn’t have found her. She’d still be out there. And she didn’t even have a sleeping bag. I’m sure she wasn’t prepared for how cold it is in the mountains at night.”
“We would’ve kept her warm.” Josh walked back into the room fresh from his shower, his hair still damp. “I wouldn’t have let her get hypothermia.”
Spencer huffed something unintelligible, and Anne hurried to change the subject. “Charlie, when is your return ticket? I didn’t even ask you.”
“I have to go back Tuesday. I’m really bummed Emily made us miss the musical tonight. But Steven still gets credit for getting the tickets. He gets big dad-credit for today.”
“Hopefully, when Emily wakes up tomorrow, she’ll feel well enough to do something fun,” said Anne.
Josh strolled toward the couch. “One thing I’d advise would be to wash off her cuts, although it may be hard to do with her sleeping so soundly. Brad and I washed some of them about five hours into the hike, and applied some antibiotic ointment. But she really has some pretty deep gashes, especially on her legs.” He moved toward Emily and started to raise her pant leg.
“Don’t touch her,” growled Spencer.
Josh pulled his hands back. “Look man, I’m not assaulting your girlfriend. I’m a doctor.”
“We’ve already heard you’re a doctor,” said Spencer.
Grace said, “Yes. And technically, she’s not your girlfriend, either. Right, Spencer? I mean, she’d probably be your girlfriend by now if you hadn’t refused to talk to her on Friday.”
“Grace!” Spencer said. “That’s enough.”
“In fact,” she continued undeterred, “I think you said you weren’t sure you could ever stand to be around her again—“
“Grace!”
“Well, let me just state for the record, if she isn’t taken, I’m definitely interested,” said Josh.
Spencer stood and faced him with his fists clenched. “She’s taken!”
“Fine... at least for now. But I’d take better care of her if she were mine.”
“Josh, Spencer! Please sit down.” Anne said. “You’re upsetting me.”
Spencer sat down on the floor next to Emily, and Josh walked around behind the couch.
“Josh, we really appreciate what you did to help Emily,” said Anne. “You don’t know her well enough to realize this, but no one tells her what to do. It certainly isn’t Spencer’s fault she got herself into trouble.”
“Yes ma’am. I did note she has a mind of her own,” Josh admitted.
“That’s the truth,” Charlie agreed. “She’s never been sweet and obedient like me.”
Steven returned to the living room. “Oh, were you telling a joke? Was that the punch line?”
“Very funny,” said Charlie. “And here I’d been saying earlier what a great dad you were.”
“Are you guys ready to go? I’m starving.” Brad returned, freshly showered, and took his place beside Grace.
“Come on, Spencer,” she urged. “I won’t tease you any more. There’s nothing you can do here.”
Josh moved to Spencer and held out his hand, “I’m sorry, man. I think we both had a pretty tough day. I won’t mouth off any more.”
Spencer stood up and shook his hand, but his mouth was set in a grim line.
“Come on,” said Claire. “We get to ride in the limousine again.”
* * *
Spencer was still furious.How did this guy dare to insert himself into Emily’s life? He’d only known her for half a day. The only thing that made this guy a hero was dumb luck—he happened to be there at the right time. And why did Spencer have all the bad luck? Why did he run and hike all those miles looking for Emily, while this jerk got to just show up and save the day? And after all of his efforts, Spencer didn’t even get to carry her up to the apartment. And then the jerk had the audacity to be a doctor. Both of them—doctors. He watched his sister across the table as she laughed with Brad, her head leaning in close to his. Was he looking down the front of her shirt? He needed to have a talk with his sister.
“Spencer, you’re awfully quiet,” murmured Charlie. “Are you still worried about Emily? I saw her before she fell asleep. She’s going to be fine.”
“No. I mean... Yes, I’m worried, but that’s not it. I don’t trust this Josh guy,” he answered softly, since the object of his disdain was sitting on the other side of Charlie.
“He’s okay. You can’t blame him for having a crush on her. It happens all the time, so you better get used to it.”
“What do you mean, it happens all the time?”
“Every guy she meets falls for her. She usually doesn’t even pay attention. I’d bet a million dollars she didn’t even notice Josh is good-looking.”
“You think he’s good-looking? I think he looks like a jerk.”
Charlie chuckled. “He’s cute, Spencer. But that doesn’t mean Emily thought so. I’ve known her all my life and I’ll tell you she’s never done anything like this for a guy before.”
“What do you mean? What did she do for him?”
“Not for him, you big dummy—for you. She went on a crazy hard hike and planned to camp out, sleeping on the ground. These things are way out of her comfort zone. And she did it for you, not for Josh.”
“She’d never been on that hike. She had no idea what she was getting into.”
“But if you know Emily, you know she read all about it before she went. She at least knew it would be really difficult.”
“And I’d never have expected her to do that. I was coming to her apartment to talk to her.”
“I know, I know. But she didn’t know that. And let’s face it. You didn’t even know you were coming to talk to her until right before you did it.”
“If I’d just talked to her on Friday, none of this would have happened. It’s my fault she’s all bunged up.”
“Don’t be silly. This is Emily we’re talking about. She has a mind of her own, and it works in crazy unpredictable ways.”
“So you don’t think she’s attracted to Josh? The doctor?”
“No, I don’t. But let me ask you a question. Have you forgiven her for going out with Asher Denning?”
“That seems like it happened months ago. Yes, I’ve forgiven her. I didn’t even think about it after I found out she was in trouble.”
“Well, you need to remember she doesn’t know that. She thinks you’re still angry. And when she wakes up tomorrow, it’ll still be on her mind.”
“Do you think she likes me?”
“Ohmygosh! Are all men this dense? Yes, she likes you. Of course she does.” Charlie shook her head. “Now, can you enjoy dinner?”
“Sure.” He felt his spirits lifting… Emily liked him.
An uneasy trucelay between Spencer and Josh for the rest of dinner. Both seemed to acknowledge they didn’t like each other, but they didn’t have any more arguments. At least not overtly.
“What does Emily do?” Josh asked after everyone else at the table had summarized their present school or work occupations.
“So you don’t even know?” He let a little sneer creep into his voice. So great to finally have a one-up on Josh.
“Well, no. While I was attempting to keep her from falling to her death, we didn’t discuss mundane things like work or school.”
Charlie interrupted. “Really, Josh? Falling to her death?”
“Okay, I might be exaggerating a little. But if she’d gotten off the trail and fallen where no one could find her, it could have happened.
“That’s actually true,” Spencer conceded.
Brad jumped in. “The hike wasn’t so bad and she was great. Carried her own backpack the whole way. Refused help most of the time. That’s really why she was so scratched up. She definitely wanted to prove herself.”
“You know,” said Josh, “she tried to explain it. But I never quite understood why she did that. Maybe you can elucidate, Spencer. Why did she go on that hike today? She said she had to prove you were important.”
Spencer felt his face heating up as he struggled to find an answer, but Grace jumped in.
“It was my fault, actually. She wanted to talk to Spencer, and I told her Spencer would be busy on this overnight hike until Monday.”
“And then Becca lied to her about where the hike was going to be,” Charlie added, “so she ended up at Devil’s Path instead of Harriman Loop.”
“Becca?” asked Josh. “Who’s Becca.”
“Becca is this girl who likes Spencer, so she lied to Emily to throw her off,” said Grace.
“Oh.” Josh gave a knowing nod. “Becca likes Spencer. I get it. Emily did this to attract Spencer’s attention away from Becca. He doesn’t seem worth the trouble to me. No offense, man.”
“No,” snarled Spencer. “I’ve never liked Becca, and Emily didn’t need to attract my attention, she already had it.”
“Josh, you’ve got a long way to go before you can understand my sister. Her mind works in complicated ways.” Charlie pointed her finger at him.
“I’ve got nothing but time, and I’m a patient man.”
“Cute,” smirked Charlie, “A doctor—a patient man? That’s funny.”
It wasn’t funny at all.
“Oh, and she’s a CPA at Gherring Inc. We never did tell you what she did,” Charlie added.
“Ah,” said Josh. “A CPA. Hmmm, that could be a great combination.”
In his mind, Spencer pictured all the different ways he could kill Josh.
* * *
“This is fun,Mom. The two of us can sit here together and feel miserable.” At seven a.m. on Sunday morning, Emily had already limped down to her apartment to shower off and change clothes. She’d been shocked at how many bruises and cuts were on her body, and her ankle was definitely swollen. But her shower had been a moment of ecstasy as she’d scrubbed the dirt and dust from her body until her skin was pink. Her mother was fighting nausea again since removing her IV due to painful irritation of the skin around the needle. She was braving the mounting queasiness, attempting to postpone calling Connie to insert a new IV needle.
“I’m just so happy to have you here in one piece I don’t want to complain. But you may not want to stay up here if I start throwing up again.” Her mother’s smile was a bit shaky.
“Why don’t you let me call Connie?” Steven asked. “You know she won’t mind.”
“But she’s got to have some time off. We can’t always expect her to drop everything and come over here,” Anne protested.
Steven’s answer was cut off by a tentative knock at the door. “I wonder who that could be. I’m betting on Spencer.”
“Me, too. He was dying to talk to you last night,” Anne told Emily.
“Well, I don’t look very good.” Emily wished she’d worn long pants to cover her extensive injuries. She couldn’t quite see around Steven when he opened the door.
“Oh, I wasn’t expecting you.”
“Yes, sir. I hope you don’t mind. I was hoping to see my patient before I do rounds at the hospital.” Josh smiled broadly as he entered the apartment. “Hey, Emily.”
She was so confused. “Hi, Josh. What’re you doing here?”
“Well, I got called in to work this morning, so I was hoping you’d be awake. I wanted to check on you.”
She felt her cheeks burning as he approached her, studying her legs and her foot with a distinct frown. “I’m just fine.” She tucked her legs underneath her on the couch.
“Can I check your ankle?”
“Check it? Why? I mean, it’s sprained I guess. But I’m sure it will get better.”
“I want to make sure we don’t need to get it x-rayed.”
“Well, if it doesn’t get better, I’ll go see a doctor.”
Anne laughed, “Emily, you don’t know? Josh is a doctor. And so is Brad.”
“What?” Her face grew even hotter.
“Yes, I forgot you didn’t know. We talked about it last night, but you were sleeping.” Suddenly a look of consternation passed across his face. “By the way, what were you doing accepting a pill from me yesterday when you didn’t know I was a doctor? That was really dangerous. I could have given you something unsafe.” His voice was slightly scolding.
Emily bristled at his admonishing tone. “I usually have pretty good judgment about people. I’d been forced to trust you all day, so I saw no reason not to trust you at the end of the day. However, now I’m having second thoughts. You’re not my father—”
“Ouch!” Josh held up his hands in mock distress. “Mrs. Gherring, I see what you mean about no one telling her what to do.”
The Gherrings smiled at his discomfort. Anne said, “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
“I’m sorry, Emily. I only meant to express concern for your well-being. I would never presume to order you around. And I certainly don’t aspire to be your father or anything of the sort.”
“Okay. Apology accepted. As long as we understand each other.”
“I’d like to reach the point where I really understand you, but I think I’m going to need more time. So, seriously... I really do want to check your ankle.”
Reluctantly, she unfolded her legs and stuck her right foot out. He pressed around the swollen area experimentally and then moved her foot around to flex the ankle, watching her reaction. She winced, but refused to make a sound at the pain.
“I’m sorry—I know that hurts. I still don’t think anything is broken. But it is a serious sprain.” He began to inspect the cuts on her legs, which she’d left mostly unbandaged, not having anything large enough to cover them. “Nothing looks too deep. Can I see your arms?”
Sighing, she stuck her arms out at him and he looked until he seemed satisfied. “Don’t you have a gash on your back?”
“Yes, but you can’t see that one.”
He rolled his eyes. “Brad and I cleaned that one off with water yesterday and put gauze on it. Why can’t I see it today? It’s not in a private place.”
“I don’t know, but you can’t see it.” She pressed her lips together in a tight line.
He grinned at her. “Okay. You’re the boss. I think you need to be taking anti-inflammatories for your sprained ankle. O.T.C. NSAID’s ought to be fine. That’s ibuprofen, aspirin, or naproxen sodium. Unless it’s hurting badly enough you need more hydrocodone?”
“No, thank you. I’d rather hurt a little than get knocked out again. I’ve been unconscious a bit too much lately.”
“I agree,” said Steven. “Let’s keep you off the heavy stuff.”
Josh frowned at Anne. “Are you all right, Mrs. Gherring? You seem like you’re about to pass out.”
“Oh, I’m okay. Just a little queasy.”
“Actually, you could really help us out. Anne needs a new IV port,” said Steven.
“What?” asked Josh, reaching to examine the proffered arm. “Oh, I see. Yes, this area’s really inflamed. So you removed an IV port from this spot?”
“Yes, this morning. It was really hurting,” Anne explained.
“And why do you need an IV?”
“She’s got hyperemesis gravidarum. They have her on IV fluids for nutrition support and antiemetics,” said Steven.
“Really? You’re pregnant? How far along?”
“We’re not sure. Maybe ten weeks,” said Anne.
“She was interviewed about it on the news last week,” said Emily.
He shook his head. “I never get to watch television. Saturday was the first day I’ve had off in weeks. I was supposed to be off today, but I got called in.”
He turned back to Anne. “Wow, you’re really thin. I’ve studied about this, but I’ve never seen a real case. It’s pretty rare. Well, except some of them go undiagnosed. Do you have a severe case? Have they talked to you about TPN?”
“We’re hoping to avoid it—so many complications. But I need to eat so I can gain some weight.”
“I’ll be glad to put in a new needle for you. Do you want it in the same place on the other arm? Or some place different?” He opened up the sterile IV kit they handed him.
“Yes, please. On the other arm. I really appreciate this, Josh.”
“My pleasure,” he said, as he quickly inserted the IV needle. “Just a pinch. How’s that?” He taped the new port in place and took off his gloves. “I’m hoping to ingratiate myself with your whole family,” he said with a conspiratorial grin.
“Thank you, Josh,” said Steven. “If there’s anything I can ever do to help you, let me know.”
“I will. Do you need help starting a new fluid bag?”
“No, we’ve got it down,” said Anne, as she and Steven headed toward the bedroom.
Emily felt her palms sweating when her parents left them alone together. He really made her nervous. Time to give him the boot. “Okay… Thanks for dropping by.”
He sat down on the couch next to her. “Can I drop by another time? I’d like to see you again.”
Her stomach turned a somersault. “You would?”
“Yes, I would. I don’t have a lot of spare time right now because of the residency program, but I’d like to spend it with you.”
“Why? I told you I had a boyfriend.”
“Well, that’s not exactly what you said, but I’ll let it pass. Let me explain. When I see something really great, something I want, I’m willing to do whatever it takes to get it. I’m not the type of man who gives up if it’s not easy. I’m willing to work at it and wait a long time if I have to. I’m in no hurry. I sense you and Spencer are on unsure footing here. I don’t think he’s the right man for you. If and when you change your mind, I’ll be right here waiting to prove to you I’m the right guy.”
The smile never left his face as he stood. After a moment she thought to close her mouth.
“No pressure. Just think about it.” He walked to the door to let himself out. “I’ll see you later.” Before she could protest his promise, he slipped through the door, and clicked it shut behind him.
* * *
Spencer checkedthe time again as he paced in the lobby of the Gherring’s apartment building. It wasn’t even eight o’clock yet. He didn’t want to go upstairs too early, but he didn’t think he could wait much longer. He’d hardly slept the night before. He realized Charlie was right. He no longer felt any anger about Asher Denning. He was only aware of the fear and agony he’d felt when he’d almost lost her. Twice. He knew he was in love with her. Both times he would gladly have given his life to save hers. He had to let her know how he felt, but he couldn’t say words like “love” too soon. He had to be careful. She liked to be in control, and he didn’t want to scare her away.
The elevator doors opened, and he felt instant rage at the sight of the man exiting. “What are you doing here, Josh?” He ground the words out between his teeth.
“Hello, Spencer. How are you?” Josh smiled, his voice filled with unequivocal delight. “I was simply taking care of my patients. I don’t usually make house calls. But in special cases I’m willing to make an exception.” He waggled his eyebrows. “And this is definitely a special case.”
Spencer felt a clear understanding of the term justifiable homicide. “Get out!”
“I’m leaving, but only because I have to go to work. Certainly not because you think you commanded it. Have a good day.”
Spencer watched him exit through the lobby door, breathing deeply to calm himself. It was obviously not too early to see the Gherrings. So he punched in the code that allowed him to take the elevator up to the penthouse and knocked on the door, pacing nervously until it opened.
“Hi, Spencer,” said Gherring. “This time it really is you. A little earlier—“
“I know,” Spencer snapped. “Josh was here. I saw him downstairs.”
“Yes, he just knocked on the door. He must have learned the code from Charlie last night. It was a total surprise.”
“An unpleasant one as far as I’m concerned. Is Emily available?”
“Sure, she’ll be right out.” He walked toward the bedrooms, calling, “Emily! Spencer’s here to see you.”
His heart hammered in his chest. The last time he’d spoken to her, she’d been sitting at a table with Asher Denning. So much had happened since then, but they hadn’t communicated. She limped into the room, obviously trying, but failing, to appear uninjured.
“Hi Spencer.” Her eyes studied the carpet around his feet.
“I... uhmm... I think I hear Anne calling me.” Gherring disappeared into the bedroom.
Spencer couldn’t help staring at the bruises and cuts that carpeted her legs. “Hi. How do you feel?”
He stood awkwardly in front of her while she perched on the couch. “I’m okay. I didn’t run twenty miles like you did.”
“I… uhmm… I came to see you yesterday, but you’d already gone.”
“I know. I heard. But it was such a long way to the Devil’s Path—I had to leave really early to get there.”
“Why did you ask Becca? You should have called me.”
“I didn’t think you’d answer if I called. Would you have answered?”
“I... I don’t know. I’d like to think so.”
Tears welled in her eyes. “I was desperate.”
“I really hate you went through that. And you have all those cuts all over you.”
“I know. They’re ugly.”
“That’s not what I mean. I don’t want you to be hurt. Ever.”
“I don’t know. I felt like I deserved it... after I lied and everything. I was just flattered, you know. Asher didn’t mean anything—”
“I know. I know. I didn’t... When I thought I’d lost you... When I thought you were... I couldn’t handle it.”
“I’m sorry. And I know you saved my life. They told me—”
“And then Josh saved your life,” he bit out sarcastically.
“Are you mad at me about Josh? I didn’t ask for him to come along, you know.”
“No, I’m not mad at you, but I can’t stand that guy.”
“Honestly, I think I’d probably still be out there, lost on that mountain, if Josh and Brad hadn’t happened by. I was about to turn off the trail because I couldn’t believe my directions were right.”
“He’s a jerk.”
“Funny. He said the same thing about you, and he hadn’t even met you.”
“Well, he really is a jerk, and he’s trying to steal you from me.” He gritted his teeth. “It’s so unfair. You’re not even mine, and he’s trying to take you away.”
“Well, he doesn’t control me. No one controls me.”
“What was he doing up here this morning, anyway?”
He watched her cheeks flush. “He came to check out my ankle. And while he was here he put a new IV in Mom’s arm. That’s all. It was just doctor stuff.”
“So he’s your doctor now?” She flinched at his sarcasm.
“No. I didn’t even know he was a doctor.”
“You didn’t know when he gave you codeine? When he drugged you?”
“I didn’t know until this morning. And don’t use that tone with me!”
Spencer beat on his forehead with the palm of his hand, pounding out his frustration. “I can’t help it! You almost died! Don’t you understand? You don’t know what it was like—to see you laying there, not breathing. To think I’d lost you.”
He knelt down in front of her, and cupped her face in his hands. “I’ve dreamed about kissing you, imagined what it would be like. But the first time I put my lips on yours, I was trying to keep you alive. It wasn’t supposed to be like that.”
He watched her eyes, and she returned his intense gaze. Her tongue darted out to lick her lips, and he suppressed a groan. He hesitated, but when she didn’t pull away, he leaned in and touched his mouth to hers. Tentatively, holding back his passion, he explored the softness of her lips with his. His hands moved, caressing her cheeks, marveling at the silky feel of her skin beneath his fingers. His first kiss. No, his second. The first time, she hadn’t been breathing. This time, she kissed him back. He tried to control himself, but as he thought about how he’d almost lost her, his kiss became stronger, more desperate.
She pressedher mouth against his, her lips seeking his warmth, eager and terrified at the same time. She could feel his emotion, and she responded with equal fervor. Her hands were on his chest as she leaned forward trying to close the distance between them. The only thing she could hear was the sound of their ardent breathing and the pounding of her heart. She could feel his frantic heartbeat with her fingers. She’d been kissed before, but never like this. He kissed her like a thirsting man who’d crossed a dessert to find water. As if he was drawing his life-blood from her. She was opening herself up—she might be hurt again. Cuts and gashes and sprains were nothing compared to the pain that had been wrenched in her heart in the past. She was a fool to let herself fall for him, but she couldn’t stop.
His tongue stroked across her lips, and she parted them to allow him entry. Then her tongue danced with his as his kiss deepened. His hands fisted in her hair, and she was surprised to hear a small moan escape her throat. He responded with a groan she could feel vibrating in his chest. She sensed a tingle radiating down through her body. His right hand dropped down, his fingers trailing down her neck, leaving a fiery brand in their wake.
She was losing herself. She knew at that moment, had they been alone, she would give him everything—her mind, her body, her soul. A burst of panic seized her, and she broke away. She sat back, covering her mouth with her hands, staring at him with stark terror. He’d probably been with dozens of girls. Grace had told her Spencer loved her, but what did that even mean? What did this kiss mean to him? Certainly it wasn’t the total loss of self she’d just experienced. He obviously cared for her, and she owed him her life. But she’d sworn to protect herself from this type of assault. She needed to safeguard her heart. Otherwise it would be torn to shreds. And she could tell, simply from that kiss, Spencer could do more damage than she’d ever experienced before.
“What’s wrong?” His distress was clearly written on his face. “Did I hurt you? Was it too hard?”
She couldn’t formulate the words to express what she felt. How could she explain her fears? How could she describe the precarious state of her heart? He was experienced, where she was na?ve. Her own physical response to his kiss shocked her, and she knew she was losing the control she held so dear.
“No... I...” She blinked rapidly at the tears in her eyes. “I can’t... I can’t do this.”
“You can’t do what? You can’t kiss me? Was it bad?” He moved to sit beside her on the couch, clenching his fists in his lap.
“Bad? Ha! I think you know better than that. But I’m not ready for you. I’m too... You’re too... I can’t explain it.”
“I’m too what? Am I pushing you too fast?”
“Yes. No. You’re not pushing me. I... I know you can’t understand this, because it’s no big deal to you. I’m not... I’m not experienced. And I’m afraid.”
He looked frustrated. “I’m not... I won’t push you. I’d never do that. I mean, if I understand what we’re talking about. Are we talking about physical stuff?”
“Sort of. But I’m afraid of more than that—the emotional part too.”
“What if we said we’ll take it slow?”
“But slow to you is different than slow to me. I don’t know if I can handle another kiss like that.”
He squeezed his eyes shut and groaned out loud. “I don’t know if I can handle not kissing you again. Not now I know what it’s like.” He looked at her with pleading eyes, and she felt her resolve melting.
“You see—that’s exactly what I’m talking about. You can’t look at me like that. It’s... it’s not fair.”
“But it wasn’t bad? You liked it, too? The kiss, I mean. Because... I really liked it.”
Emily noticed he looked unsure, even vulnerable, as he anticipated her answer. She experienced a little thrill her opinion was so important to him he discounted his own expertise.
She allowed herself a slight smile. “Oh I liked it—a little too much. That’s the problem.”
Now he was grinning. “I don’t see it as a problem. We’ll find some way to keep it from being a problem. Just don’t think about it so much.”
And catching her off guard, he leaned in and brushed his lips lightly across hers, then pulled away with his eyes closed, as if savoring her taste. When he opened his eyes, his pupils dilated in the middle of the pools of deep brown, she thought she might fall into them. She knew she was playing with fire, and her fear of being burned was stronger than ever.
But a seed of a thought formulated in her head. Perhaps there was a way she could be certain she wouldn’t get hurt again.