20. Adam
20
ADAM
“ A dam? River?” My mom’s voice sliced through the fog of desire clouding my thoughts as we joined the family around the large kitchen table. “What took you boys so long?”
River’s cheeks flushed pink as he took his usual seat next to mine. My breath almost caught at how adorable he looked like that. How had I never noticed?
“We had a bet about my Ninja Turtle sticker collection,” I said, flashing a grin. “Had to prove I still had them all.”
Lex raised an eyebrow but held his tongue. It’s not like he’d know exactly what we’d been up to in the bedroom, right?
And if he did, it’s not like he’d say anything because more than once since he’d found Emery again, I’d heard moans coming from his old bedroom before or after Sunday lunch. Noah too.
I never used to understand it because there was no way Victoria would have gone up to my room to make out with my whole family downstairs. I used to think it was a respect thing, but I knew how much Emery and Lior loved and respected my parents.
The truth was that what Victoria and I had hadn’t included that raw desperation to touch each other at all times. A feeling I was starting to get acquainted with because my hands itched to touch River now.
Throughout the meal, I barely enjoyed the food. Every bite was as delicious as every other meal we’d had at my mom’s hands, but it was nothing compared to the anticipation I felt for what came after the meal.
Each time River reached for his glass, his shirt sleeve rubbed against mine and sent a jolt through my body, a reminder of the electrifying kiss we’d shared moments before.
Even the way he licked his dessert spoon had me thinking of other things he could do with that tongue.
Dammit, I shouldn’t have been looking at gay porn last night.
I’d read many of River’s spicy romance novels, so I wasn’t completely unaware of how sex between two men worked. Now, thinking back, maybe the way I’d gotten aroused by some of the scenes I’d read since River had gotten me hooked on male-male romance was a giveaway. What straight man reads gay romance, gets aroused during the spicy scenes, and still thinks they’re straight?
Yeah, there’s amazing writing talent, and there’s burying your head in the sand.
I was such a dumbass.
When everybody finished their dessert, I stood up, impatient to escape, and met River’s gaze across the table. “Thanks for lunch, Mom. I’ll help you clear up.”
This time, Emery looked at me like I’d grown a second head, swiftly joined by my mom, who stopped midway through clearing a plate.
Come on. It’s not like it’s the first time I’ve ever offered to help clear the table.
“What?” I asked innocently.
“Nothing, sweetie.” Her gaze flickered between River and me.
I ignored it and started filling the dishwasher before running the water to clean the big pots.
Lex and Emery joined in and Dad took River into his office to talk about the restaurant, as usual. Before long, the kitchen was sparkly clean, and my mom looked worried that she’d stepped into an alternate dimension.
“Lex, do you think we should be offended that Mom is in shock because we helped?” I asked my brother.
He laughed. “To be fair, as soon as Emery starts helping, we all run to the living room. I felt guilty today.”
Mom walked up and squished us between her arms.
“Ew, what’s this? Affection? Lex, make it stop.”
“You can complain all you want, but I’ll never stop loving and hugging my boys any chance I get.”
Dad and River came into the kitchen, witnessing the cuddle assault.
“Oh no, now she’s gonna want to bake,” Dad said before going toward the living room.
“Now that’s an idea,” Mom said.
“Actually,” I said, meeting River’s eyes. “We should probably head out.”
Mom sighed. “Okay. You boys work too much. In my day, Sunday was Sunday.”
Lex rolled his eyes and I just smiled. Mom was such a liar. Every Sunday for as long as we can remember was spent at the restaurant. This Sunday lunch business only started once my parents handed over the running of the restaurant to River.
“Thanks for lunch, Carla. It was delicious as always,” River said before giving my mom a hug.
“Be safe, boys,” Mom called out when we were almost by the car.
“Oh, we will,” I shouted back without taking my eyes off River, whose face reddened again.
“I’m gonna kill you,” he whispered over the roof of my car.
“As long as you do it with your dick, we’re good.”
I got in the driver’s seat and purposefully didn’t look at him.
“How are you so okay with this?” he asked.
“Fake it ’til you make it?” I shrugged.
“I’m serious. I?—”
I reached over and placed my hand on his leg. “I know what I want, River. If you need some convincing, I’m happy to show you as soon as we’re indoors.”
He groaned but didn’t say anything for the rest of the drive.
When the door to his place swung shut behind us, River’s hands were on me instantly, his fingers threading through my hair as he pulled me into him. My back hit the wall with a soft thud, and I was suddenly acutely aware of every place where our bodies touched. The warmth of his palms seeped through the fabric of my shirt, heating my already scorched skin.
“Are you sure this is what you want?” he murmured against my ear.
I wanted to laugh, to tell him my entire being was screaming yes, but words seemed inadequate. Instead, I let my body speak for me, pressing into his. He couldn’t deny an erection, could he?
In response, River’s mouth captured mine. I surrendered to the kiss like prey willingly walking into the predator’s lair.
“You drive me fucking insane, Adam.” He ran his teeth over my jaw and my whole body trembled. “Do you have any idea of how much I want you?”
“We could have gotten here earlier if you’d helped in the kitchen.”
He pressed me harder against the wall. “You think you’re funny. Let’s see if you’re such a smartass when you’re naked with another man.”
“You say that like I don’t know exactly who I’m going to be naked with, which brings me to the point. I need us to be wearing less clothes. A lot less clothes.”
River’s fingers entwined with mine as he dragged me down the hallway. Our socked feet were slippery on the hardwood floor. I laughed as River nearly slipped before the same thing happened to me.
Lightness. My whole life was about words, and that one was all I could feel. Even as I crossed the bridge into a new me, I was light, so when the scent of his cologne and body wash assaulted my senses as he opened the door, my belly tightened and my chest expanded.
“We’ll take it slow, okay?” he said softly as he led me to the edge of his bed.
I nodded, my throat closing up all of a sudden. God, I wanted this so much. His hands on me, his mouth on me. I wanted to feel the weight of his body on top of mine. I wanted everything but didn’t know how to ask for it.
“Is…is it possible to feel so much that you freeze?” I asked, finding my voice.
River pulled my hands to ask me to sit down and then knelt between my thighs, his eyes never leaving mine. I opened my legs to accommodate him.
“I am very familiar with the concept.”
He grabbed the hem of my shirt and pulled it over my head. His mouth pressed against my sternum with a soft kiss. More followed as he peppered my chest with kisses, leaving a trail of fire with each one.
“That feels good.”
I reached for his shirt and he leaned back, removing it for me. My mouth watered at the sight of his chest, the tattoos, the chest hair that was darker than the hair on his head.
“You’re so beautiful, River. I love your tattoos.”
His gaze met mine and he shook his head like he didn’t believe the words out of my mouth.
He undid his jeans and pulled them down with his underwear. I gasped at the sight of his hard cock. I’d only ever seen it covered by the fabric of his underwear or a towel.
His eyes were full of vulnerability as he pushed his clothes away.
I unzipped my pants and did the same until we were both naked.
“Scoot up,” he said. I moved to the middle of the bed. My dick pointed up, leaving no doubt about where this was headed.
I gasped when River followed me onto the middle of the bed, covered my body with his, and our dicks touched.
Sexuality was a spectrum. I’d believed that since Noah had come out to the family as pansexual, and now, with River’s cock touching mine, there was no shadow of a doubt that I was not and probably had never been straight.
“What do you want to happen here, Adam?”
“Is everything too much to ask?”
He chuckled. “I’m going to manage your expectations here. It’s been a long time since I’ve had sex that didn’t involve my hand. This might be over embarrassingly quick.”
“I’m not worried about your staying power. It’s your refractory period I want to test.”
“You’re on,” he said, a glint of his competitive side showing in his eyes. “Can I suck you?”
“Like I’m going to say no to that.”
His mouth moved lower, kissing down my neck, my chest, until I was gasping, lost in the haze of pleasure as he took me in his mouth.
There was no easing me into it. He took my cock right down until it hit the back of his throat. He sucked hard on the way up before repeating it a million times.
“Oh my, fucking—argh, River!” I cried, the suction driving me crazy. Every stroke, every flick of his tongue, unraveled me from the inside out. I was so close.
“River,” I gasped, and there was a plea in my voice that I couldn’t have held back if I tried.
“Come in my mouth.”
“Are you sure?” I’d never had a girlfriend who’d wanted that, so I’d always thought cum didn’t taste very nice.
“I need it. Please, Adam.”
I nodded, and he resumed his assault. With one hand around the base of my cock he sucked harder around the head. My elbows slipped on the sheets and I fell on my back. River never stopped.
“I’m coming,” I shouted as my whole body locked and I spilled weeks of pent-up desire down his throat.
River sucked me until there was nothing left.
I reached for him, my hands trembling as I tried to find a tiny ounce of energy.
He lay beside me, his hard cock pressing against my thigh.
“That was—” he started.
“Perfect, River. Utter perfection.”
He placed his hand on my chest, over my fast-beating heart.
“Let me take care of you,” I said, my eyes closed as I fought the need to drift off. There was no way I was going to be a selfish partner. River deserved more than that.
I trailed a pattern down his side until my hand circled his cock. It was thick and heavy. Not so different from mine, but it was longer. I wondered how it would feel inside me.
“I’m not fucking you tonight,” he said.
My chin dropped. “How did you know what I was thinking?”
He raised a brow. “I didn’t, but I know you like to throw yourself headfirst into a challenge.”
I closed my hand around his cock and twisted on an upward move.
River gasped as I chuckled. “You were saying about me throwing myself head in first?”
As I explored further, his breath hitched, his lean muscles tensing. I sped up the strokes, and his response was immediate, a sharp intake of breath that became a moan. With each stroke, I learned what made his body sing until he was teetering on the edge, held there by the thread of my touch.
The sounds out of his beautiful lips got me hard again, so I pressed closer against him and took both our cocks in my hand. I knew I wouldn’t come again, but I hoped the friction would get him there.
“I’m so cl—Adam!” he shouted as his release coated my fingers, warm and sticky.
Afterward, we lay there, limbs entangled, River’s chest rising and falling against my side.
“You fucking bastard,” he said, reaching for my hand, our fingers intertwining naturally.
“I take it that was okay.”
“That was more than okay,” he whispered, each syllable heavy with meaning, “You have no idea how scarily more than okay this was for me.”
My chest filled with pride and hope. If us being together like this was more than okay for River, that was because we had a true connection. Not just the best friend kind of connection, but the kind like what my brothers had.
I tried to look for the fear in my head, but I must have misplaced it somewhere outside River’s apartment because all I could feel was rightness.