Chapter 37
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
POLLY
I’ve never had casual sex. I’ve honestly never understood the impulse; sex is so supremely intimate. I give away a nonrefundable piece of myself, every time .
Christina Lauren, Josh and Hazel’s Guide to Not Dating
F loating on a cloud of blissed-out contentment, snuggling next to a very naked Jace Vargas, I could only imagine my face could be described in one way: dreamy.
Sex with Jace was indescribable. That time in the shower . . . I shivered. I’d done something I never thought I’d have the guts to do—acting out something from a book during sex. It made me feel strong and powerful. David never even knew I liked to read books, and I never had any intention of telling him; he would have only written it off as frivolous smut.
“What’s going through that head of yours?” Jace asked, trailing his fingers up and down my arm.
“Certainly not that time in the shower,” I teased, deciding to keep my reading hobby to myself for another day . . . or forever.
Jace’s chest vibrated beneath my cheek. “Believe me, that will live on repeat in my brain for years to come.”
I turned my head, brushing my lips over his chest, still marveling that I was even allowed to do that.
“What did you have planned for today?”
“A million and one things. I do need to reach out to some providers for the school this afternoon.” I gave him a little squeeze. “But I don’t regret taking this time with you.”
Hugging me to his side, I felt him brush a kiss to the top of my head. “I hope not. I’ll keep the kids occupied this afternoon so you can get some work done.”
I knew it was a nice offer, but something was bothering me—something we needed to talk about.
Scooting back, I propped my hand on my hand to face him. “We need to talk about something. Two somethings, actually.”
“Would that be a girl who’s six going on sixteen and a boy that keeps beating me at Friday Night Funkin’ even though I’m trying my best?”
“Yes. Don’t get me wrong, I want this,” I toggled a finger between him and I. “And I want this again.” Jace puffed out his chest and I rolled my eyes. “But you work for me. Ryla and Max are my children.”
“And here I thought you rented those kids,” Jace teased, his face turning serious as he took in my unamused expression. Propping himself on his hand to face me, he said, “Sorry. It’s a reflex. Go ahead.”
“I want to be careful. I don’t know what the future holds for any of us right now. And with Max and Ryla, they have to be my first priority. I can’t bring anyone into their lives they can’t bear to lose. It’d break them . . .” I trailed off, knowing that losing Jace wouldn’t just break them—it was my heart I was risking as well. “It’s not a good time to tell them, or anyone else, that something is going on between us. I’d like to keep this private, just between us, for now. Also, it has to be outside of your regular time with the kids. I don’t want to feel like I’m paying you for sex.”
Jace flashed a grin. “That’s a relief. I don’t want to feel like you’re paying me for sex either.”
Groaning, I rolled onto my back, my voice muffled as I lamented, “You know what I mean.”
Jace chuckled as he gently pulled my hands from my face. “I know what you meant. I can keep it separate. Nothing has to change between us while the kids are around. But if I want to do something nice for you, or spend time with the kids out of my regular hours, know it’s because I want to. I’m not expecting sex in exchange.”
I lifted a single eyebrow in challenge. Jace smiled coyly. “Well, not exchange per se—but we get to keep doing this, right?”
Laughter burst from my lips as Jace rolled over me, planting his hands on either side of my head. He looked infuriatingly cute as his red curls hung down and I reached up, rubbing the locks between my fingers as he spoke.
“We were friends first. And I’ll keep being your friend. Which means I get to do nice things for you. And I like spending time with the kids. No strings attached. Granted, it might be harder now that I know what your lips taste like.” He leaned down, brushing a kiss over my lips. Instantly, I parted for him, my fingers moving into his hair, pulling him closer.
Polly! Focus!
I tore my mouth from his and pushed him back.
“See! This is why we needed to have this conversation, otherwise I’ll want to do that all the time!”
Settling back on his side, wearing nothing but a bemused smile, Jace winked at me. “If we’re being honest, I’ve had some practice at that already. Because I’ve wanted to do that long before today.”
Despite wearing matching birthday suits and spending the better part of the day exploring every inch of his gloriously naked body with my lips, I felt suddenly, inexplicably, shy. I looked down at my hands, rolling one thumb over the other. How long did he mean? I didn’t want to ask. But why would he say that if he didn’t want me to know? I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye, then quickly looked down again. What if it was only this past week? That’s the most likely answer. And who cares? He clearly liked me now . . . but I would have been aware of him a lot longer than he would have been of me.
I felt a tug on my hand as Jace threaded our fingers together, and I reluctantly turned to face him, a knowing smile on his face.
“What?” My question was high pitched, feeling like my insecurity was written all over my face like words on a page.
“Ask me.”
I smoothed a wrinkle in the sheet covering me, stalling. “Ask what?”
He reached out to caress my cheek. “You were wearing a black dress, with these pearl buttons down the back. Your hair was down, but your eyes were hidden by your sunglasses. And you had these red high heels on.”
I bit my lip.
“And then you bent over to reach into your car.”
I sucked in a breath. “That was the first time I met you.”
Nodding, he placed two fingers below my chin, inclining my head toward his. “I’ve wanted you since the moment I first laid my eyes on you. I couldn’t remember ever seeing anyone as stunning.” He waggled his eyebrows. “Except if I’m looking in the mirror of course.”
This earned him a laugh and playful shove.
“We can keep this between us for now, if that’s better for you. I can be patient.” His sincere words were paired with a heated look, igniting my craving for him once again. Sitting up, I let the covers fall, baring myself from the waist up. Jace’s expression turned eager—no— desirous. I felt wanton and powerful, insecurity stripped away as his gaze licked its way up my body. I shivered, my nipples pebbling under his perusal. A low, throaty moan left my lips as I embraced my inner she-cougar, pushing him to his back, moving to sit astride him.
“Patience isn’t really my virtue,” I crooned, then glanced at the clock, knowing we had to leave to pick up the kids in less than an hour. “We’ll have to be quick.”
“Good thing for you, speed is my virtue.” He grinned and rolled us over, pinning me underneath him.
Luckily for me, Jace was a gifted liar.
* * *
After picking up the kids that afternoon, Jace and the kids hung out while I did some work in the study for a few hours. Rose had looked livid on Saturday when I pulled her aside to tell her that I had received an email from Mr. Goldenstein, requesting a personal meeting with me. Despite being furious, she patted my arm and told me not to worry, she’d handle it. When I checked my email this afternoon, I’d received an email from Mr. Sievers, the school guidance counselor, saying that he and Rose would be joining my meeting with Brad next week.
My eyes were starting to glaze over when Jace peeked his head in, asking if I had more to do or if I wanted a break.
“A break.” I pushed my laptop closed. “Preferably with food.”
“Yay! We made dinner!” Ryla burst in, clearly having been waiting right outside the door. Grabbing my hand, she pulled me to my feet and past a smiling Jace, then into the kitchen, chattering happily the entire way.
Dinner was filled with Ryla’s animated stories, Max’s shy smiles, and sexual tension. Were Jace’s T-shirts always so tight? Did he dry them on high heat or something? I was sitting across from him, and honestly, the white baseball tee with navy sleeves on its own, shouldn’t be that appealing.
Someone needed to inform my libido of that, however, because she was looking at Jace’s shirt like white was the new red and she was a bull preparing for a charge. I couldn’t stop my eyes from slowly easing down his body, or the movement of his jaw as he chewed. Of course, I’d always noticed he was handsome. But considering I’d traced the line of his jaw with my tongue this very day . . .
Jace, apparently, was completely unaffected by my presence. He split his focus between Ryla and Max, taking the time to listen and smile encouragingly. I mean, I know I wasn’t wearing anything as sexy as a baseball tee (I was wearing my signature leggings and a black sleeveless shirt, thank you very much), but it’d still be nice to be appreciated.
As Ryla continued to talk about something , I caught Jace’s attention and smiled. Then, and I’m not proud of this, I brought a bite of chicken to my mouth and chewed . . . very, very slowly.
Nothing.
Cordial smile in place, Jace picked up his water glass as if nothing was amiss and took a sip. He then returned his attention to Ryla, asking her questions without missing a beat.
I had no right to feel disappointed. He was only doing what we agreed upon earlier this afternoon.
Later that night, after putting the kids to bed, I couldn’t sleep. To my extreme disappointment, I’d been hyperaware of Jace all evening. And much to Jace’s credit, he’d acted like normal. Right before I took the kids up to bed, Jace had the audacity to tell me he was watching an episode of Treasure Dogs tonight, if I wanted to join him in the living room.
He whistled on his way back to his room.
We were only a few episodes from the first season finale so yes, I did want to watch Treasure Dogs . But what if I went down there and he was still wearing that infernal baseball tee? I might spontaneously combust. And what if he kept acting like he hadn’t made me come on his tongue, twice, this very day? Again, spontaneous combustion seemed like the most likely outcome.
Basically, all evidence pointed to my inevitable incineration, so it felt safer to stay in my room.
I still couldn’t sleep. After an hour of tossing and turning in bed, I finally went downstairs for water. At the bottom of the stairs, I looked down the hallway to Jace’s bedroom.
All was dark.
I knew I was being ridiculous. As I stood at the kitchen sink, feeling unsexy and matronly, a sudden noise made me turn.
Jace was standing in the doorway. He was still wearing that damn baseball tee, but his jeans were gone. He was wearing tight, black boxer briefs.
As expected, my body went hot.
“What are you doing up?” I whispered.
Jace’s eyes were molten. He strode to me without hesitation and buried his face in my neck, breathing me in, our arms encircling each other reflexively.
“Is this what you always wear to bed?” His words were muffled as he kissed then sucked at the point just beneath my ear.
I was still wearing a plain black top, but I’d changed into linen sleep shorts with grey stripes.
“You’ve been driving me crazy.” Jace continued to kiss along my neck. He pulled back, regret in his eyes, shaking his head. “I’m sorry, Polly. I know we agreed to the rules for Max and Ryla, but you’re just too damn sexy for me to resist.”
Huffing out a small laugh, my she-bull was raring to go as our lips and tongues tangled, my hand immediately fisting in his shirt as his hands slipped beneath the waistband of my shorts to cup my ass.
Eventually we broke apart, gasping for air. “I know what I said,” I whispered. “But I’d like to add a rider. Nothing in front of the kids. But when they’re sleeping . . .” I trailed off, letting the implication float in the air.
“Are you sure?” Jace looked over his shoulder. “I don’t want to do anything to hurt them.” He turned back to me, tender affection in his eyes. “Or you.”
I let go of his shirt, folding my hands over his exceptional heart. “I know. I’m sure. Once they’re asleep, they rarely wake up.” I stood on my tiptoes, putting my lips directly beside his ear. “And there’s a lock on my bedroom door.”
Grabbing my hand, Jace wasted no time leading me up the stairs. He didn’t return to his own room until the sun peaked over the horizon.