Chapter 30
Chapter Thirty
KAMILA
“ K amila, I need to see the second design again.”
Stumbling out of my haze, I apologize to Tara and hand her the design.
I’ve been zoning out more than usual the past couple of weeks, and it needs to stop. It’s been like this ever since the day after Halloween. Not only am I exhausted with my job, internship, and classes, but now I need to muster up the strength to not think about the situation with Cameron.
Tara observes the paper. “I like the first one better.”
“Agreed.”
She gives me a thumbs-up and goes back to work. “Post them on our website and social media pages, and then you’re all set for the day.”
“Will do, boss. See you next week.”
I head back to the bar, also known as my office twice a week, where Abe is pouring a beer and placing the cold glass onto the waitress’s tray. There’s only a dozen or so people in the dining area. King’s Wolf is quiet around this time of day due to the lunch rush dying down.
I’m taking my time uploading everything when Abe speaks to me .
“Can I get you somethin’ to drink, Kami?”
Abe is in his late forties, completely bald, with huge arms covered in tattoos, a thick Southern accent, and a killer mustache. He’s been a great distraction from the outside world and a delightful co-worker.
Sighing, I shake my head. “No thanks, Abe. I’m leaving in a couple of minutes.”
“Let me know if you change your mind.” He attends to other customers while I finish up my work. I’m waiting for the final picture to upload on the site when my phone vibrates on the counter.
CK: I hate to interrupt whatever it is you’re focused on, but I’ve been feeling quite ignored the past two and a half weeks. Thought I’d drop by instead of waiting for you to be free.
My heart rate quickens. A mix of anxiety and excitement courses through me when I see the man leaning against the wall by the front door with his legs crossed.
Why does he always have to look so damn sexy?
It’s been two and a half weeks since my friends found out about Cameron and I. Even after Jake’s words they gave me some unsolicited advice, still they never crossed the line I set. Their words didn’t stop the overwhelming guilt about being with my sister’s ex like I’d hoped they would. That’s why I decided to put some more distance between Cameron and me. We’ve only seen each other a handful of times since then, and I’ve managed to keep our conversations to a minimum while also scheduling our sex sessions between classes and work. This is how it was supposed to be in the first place: sex with no strings attached.
For the past three days, I’ve been a little MIA because I needed to focus on my assignments and internship. But that’s difficult and practically impossible when I’m forced to see Cameron twice a week for class. Half of the time, he’s either touching me somewhere or flirting with me while we do our classwork. Not that I don’t like it. In fact, I miss fooling around in public. But ever since the gang found out about us, it made everything too real. It’s as if when they didn’t know about us, there wasn’t a need for me to overthink and second-guess absolutely every single tiny thing. Maybe during Thanksgiving break next week, I’ll finally be able to relax.
Then there’s the other thing I’ve been attempting to ignore. What’s going to happen after this semester ends? Are we going to break things off? Is there an unspoken agreement I don’t know about? Will he and I cease all contact with one another?
The trust issues between us still remain, and everyone knows that in order to build any kind of relationship, including a friendship, trust is key. As well as good communication and Lord knows we have all kinds of issues in that department.
The only solution I can come up with is to slowly see less of each other until we cut all ties. No one gets hurt and the drama is kept to a minimum. Yet I can’t help the seed of doubt that’s growing day by day in the back of my head as if trying to warn me that there’s trouble ahead no matter which path I choose.
Cameron makes his way over to me and takes his jacket off, exposing his tattooed arms and making all those negative thoughts disappear, even if it’s only for a short amount of time.
“You couldn’t wait till tomorrow morning to see me?” I close my laptop.
“Well, I could, but…” He leans forward and puts his mouth by my ear. “Then I wouldn’t be able to fuck you until you come at least twice on my mouth and once around my cock.”
He chuckles at the goosebumps that spread across my arms.
Distance Kamila, a quiet voice echoes.
I gently push him away. “In case you need a reminder, this is my place of work, and I’m not looking to get fired any time soon.”
He winks at me but takes a step back, respecting my request. His eyes roam up and down my body with a devilish grin, and a small scoff escapes me.
“Eyes are up here, buddy. ”
His gaze flicks upwards, and he stares into my eyes with an intensity that both scares and excites me. He’s been looking at me like that a lot recently.
“Good, Kamila, you're still here.” We both jump at Tara’s interruption. This is exactly what happens when I get distracted by him, it’s as if the rest of the world doesn’t exist. “I completely forgot to hand you these flyers to put up on some of the campus boards by the end of next week.” Tara pauses when she sees Cameron. “And who might you be? Kamila’s boyfriend?”
“No.” My reply comes out a little too quickly. “This is Cameron, Cameron, this is my boss, Tara.”
They shake hands. “Nice to meet you, Tara.”
My boss blushes like a schoolgirl because even women in their mid-thirties are not immune to Cameron Kahlo’s looks.
“Nice to meet you too, Cameron.” She looks down at his arms, and her mouth curls upward. “Those are great tattoos.”
Cam doesn’t have full sleeves like Abe, they’re more scattered. Still, my boss is right about them being amazing. Not that it surprises me, I could tell that they were all Ethan’s work the second I saw them. He’s improved an immense amount over the years, even though his early work was already amazing.
“I have to know where you got them done,” Tara demands. She’s obsessed with getting tattoos and even more interested in guys with tattoos. I’m sure it’s one of the reasons why she hired Abe in the first place and since I started working here, there’s been some very obvious flirting between the two. I wouldn’t be surprised if they became a thing by the end of the year.
“Thanks. My cousin Ethan did them for me. We’re planning on opening a shop in Brooklyn soon.”
That takes me by surprise. I didn’t know that his shop was going to be in Brooklyn.
Tara sighs. “Wait here.” She comes back from her office with a business card and offers it to Cam. “Email me as soon as you open the shop because once people start seeing the type of tattoos your cousin can do, you’ll be booked for months. ”
Cameron’s face fills with surprise and excitement, making me smile in return.
“I hope that’s the case. I’ll be sure to email you first thing.”
“I have to get back to work. It was nice meeting you. Kami, I will see you next week.” As Tara turns to leave, she glances at Abe, who’s already staring at her. They both turn, and the blush on Abe’s face is adorable.
“What’s going on there?” Cameron asks quietly.
Wow, if he saw it, then they’re more obvious than I thought.
“A work in progress. ” I sigh.
He nods. “Interesting.”
Picking up my bag, I turn to the bar. “Bye, Abe. Hope you have a good weekend!”
“You too!” he shouts back.
Cameron holds the door open for me and we make our way towards campus.
Checking my phone, I grunt at the time. “My Zumba class is in an hour, meaning we can’t take too long.”
“It’d be really cool if one of these days we didn’t have to time how long we can have sex for.”
It would be, but it’s my only solution to put space between us right now .
“Yeah, it would…but, Thanksgiving break is next week, then it’s alumni weekend, the last week of classes, study week, finals, and lastly, winter break. Busiest time of the year.”
He lets out a deep breath. “Shit, I didn’t realize how close we were to the end of the semester.”
“Yeah.” I’m desperate to talk about anything other than this. The end of a semester is always stressful, and this one ending is the last thing I want to think about. “So, Brooklyn huh? How’d you guys pull that off?”
Cam beams like he always does when talking about his future shop. “Long story short, Ethan’s grandmother left him all her savings in the will and the amount was way more than any of his family members ever expected it to be. He hasn’t touched a penny of it and I’ve also been saving up to help out.”
“Wow. I’m happy for you.”
He halts mid-step. “Okay, what’s wrong?”
“What do you mean?” I look at our surroundings, playing dumb.
“You’ve been distant as hell, dodging, or timing us sleeping together, you were nice to me just now and even your texts have been different. What happened between Halloween and today?” He tucks his hands into his pockets, waiting for my answer.
Looking up and meeting his gaze, I can’t tell whether he’s annoyed or worried, maybe both. Taking in a deep steady breath, I decide to tell him the first thought that comes to mind.
“My friends found out about us.”
He stares at me, shrugging. “And? It was inevitable. You see them all the time.”
His tone irritates me for some reason. He’s right, but he didn’t have to say it like that.
“First of all, I didn’t want anyone to know. It was one of my conditions?—”
“And if I recall,” he interrupts. “Two of your conditions have already been revoked, so why the fuck does this one matter more than the other two?”
“If I recall, you were the one to revoke them first.” He tsks, but I don’t stop there, apparently my mouth has a mind of its own today. “Listen, Cameron, I thought it was a good idea to put some distance between us after you asked me to be exclusive to make things easier. That’s why I’ve been so weird?—”
He throws his hands up in the air. “You are so full of shit.”
“Excuse me?” I exclaim.
“This isn’t because you want to make things clear. We both made things crystal clear that night, so this whole distance thing is unnecessary.” He puts his hands on his hips and taps his foot. “What is this really about?”
I pace the ground, trying to come up with the right words. “ The list of rules is becoming shorter, making this more complicated than it needs to be.”
His sarcastic laugh echoes behind one of the campus buildings. “Baby, this got complicated the second we ran into each other, the moment your lips met mine, and especially the first time I sank my dick deep inside of you.”
My breath catches as he cages me against a brick wall. It’s getting hard for me to think straight, to breathe properly. Stay strong, Kamila.
“You know what I think?” he says, his mouth inches away from mine. “I think you’re scared.”
My body tenses and anger courses through me. “You want to know what I think?”
He raises a brow and dips his head in challenge. It’s as if with those two moves a thread snaps inside me.
“I’m thinking we need to stop seeing each other for a while.”
He rears his head back as if I’ve just slapped him. My eyes widen at their own accord, surprised at the words that just spilled from my mouth.
“What? Why?” Cameron asks quietly.
I wasn’t expecting that to be my decision. It seems as though my subconscious is making my choices today. But maybe a break is what I need to sort myself out. Even so, I can’t help feeling bad for hurting Cam. Then again we still treat each other like shit half the time.
“Like I said before, things are getting more complicated. I’m not sure if feelings are going to get involved, and I have a lot on my plate right now, I need some space to breathe.”
His breaths are shallower and it feels like his stare is burning a hole through my skull.
“Are you ending things?”
“No,” I say, truthfully while I stuff my shaky hands into my pocket. “I need some time to think, and I need you to respect that.”
Cameron flicks his eyes all around my face, trying to discern whether I’m telling the truth or not. “Is this really what you want?”
“Yes.” It’s what we need.
A hint of pain etches his features before it quickly fades. “How long?”
I shake my head. “I don’t know.”
He looks down and I get ready for him to yell at me, demand a date, something, anything. Instead, he surprises me by unclenching his jaw and begins to step away, still facing me.
“Fine. See you in class tomorrow.”
After he’s out of sight, my body relaxes. What just happened? He didn’t fight back, he respected my decision. Bringing my hands to my face, I notice the marks my nails left behind while I was trying to control my emotions.
I hate that my past with men still seems to have this effect on me. Cameron would never physically hurt me, I know that, but I can’t help the involuntary nervousness whenever I have these types of conversations with guys that aren’t just friends.
None of that matters right now, though. What matters is that I did what was best for us, what was best for me…I think.
No, I’m right. This is what’s best. We’ll go back to not talking outside of class, and we can see other people.
He’s going to see other people.
Shit.
No, Kamila, none of that bullshit. Not for Cameron Kahlo.
This is what’s best. I keep repeating what seems to be my new mantra until I reach my dorm and mindlessly change into my workout clothes before doing some class readings.
The front door opens, revealing Emma. She’s smiling, but it drops the second she sees my face. No tears have fallen, they’re not necessary, but somehow, Em still knows. I guess the disappointment is evident.
“Was it him or you?”
“I think you already know. ”
We’ve been through similar situations, and the answer is always the same.
She nods. “I’ll go to your class tonight and dance with you upfront. Just know that I might fall on my face in the process. Then we can come back, watch a scary movie, and eat loads of junk.”
I laugh. “Sounds perfect.”
This is what’s best , I repeat to myself once again.
Then why is that seed of doubt still there?
My text ringtone sounds.
Unknown: Ok. I can take a hint. See you soon, Kami ;) -David.