Chapter 37
Chapter Thirty-Seven
KAMILA
“ H ey, Kamila. Didn’t expect you to come in today.” Abe smiles at me from behind the bar as I open the front door to King’s Wolf.
He must’ve forgotten that I’m always here on Thursdays.
“Didn’t Tara send you an email? She’s come down with a cold and wasn't able to make it in today.”
Of course she’s also sick.
“I haven’t checked my email since last night, guess I missed it.”
Abe pauses what he’s doing for a moment and motions over to a chair. “Why don’t you sit down? I can fix you up somethin’ to drink, non-alcoholic, of course.”
Not wanting to be alone with my thoughts just yet, I take my jacket off. “That would be great, Abe, thanks.”
“Anything in particular you want?”
I hum. “Surprise me.”
Abe works quickly behind the bar, pouring all the ingredients. It looks like he has five arms at the speed he’s making the drink. I’m focused on his movements when he starts talking.
“What’s up with you and that Cameron boy?” His southern accent emphasizes the curiosity and skepticism in his question .
It’s been over twenty-four hours since I left Cam’s room. Twenty-four hours since I accidentally fell asleep next to him, since we talked like regular old pals. And twenty-four hours since we left so many things unspoken. The simple act of him having the things in his dorm to make my favorite daily drink was a major surprise.
I made it easy on him by pretending to believe his lame excuse and left a simple note behind because we’re just friends. Except friends who have slept together don’t do things like buy spices and a very specific kind of sugar for their morning coffee. So I did what I do best: I ran and am living in blissful ignorance.
Instead of overthinking or questioning his intentions and feelings, I’m going to focus on work and my classes. The important things I came to this school for and what will help me accomplish my future plans come first. Therefore, as nice and trustworthy as Abe is, the last thing I want to talk about is Cam or mix my personal life with my work life.
“You’re off the clock, Kamila. I’m just a bartender servin’ you a drink.” He chuckles. “You can wipe that panicked look off your face.”
Jeez, I didn’t realize how stiff my body had gone until now.
Abe sets the drink in front of me. It’s a chilled martini glass filled with a light pink fizzy liquid. The edge of the glass is rimmed with white sugar and topped with a spear of cranberries and a rosemary garnish. I take a sip.
“Like it?” Abe lifts his chin.
I nod. “I love it. It’s so different.” I take another sip, trying to identify the different ingredients. “There’s definitely club soda, lemon, grenadine and…” I trail off as I try to identify what I believe to be the last ingredient.
“And…” Abe taps his fingers on the wooden bar.
My eyes widen with recognition. “Rosemary! How the hell did you put rosemary in a drink?”
He claps his hands together. “My mom’s homemade rosemary simple syrup.” He points at a notepad he has next to him. “ It’s one of the new drinks for the winter menu. I’m havin’ some trouble comin’ up with the name, though.”
Only one thing comes to mind when looking at the drink and its decor. “It’s a unique tasting drink. At first, it’s refreshing and familiar, then the aftertaste catches you by surprise, but in a sweet and delicate way.” He stands there looking at me in anticipation. “Mistletoe’s kiss.”
“Perfect.”
Smiling, I take another sip and get excited when I see some Christmas decorations hidden behind the bar. Tara had told me that they’ll be putting them up this weekend.
“Abe, can you make me another one, please, and pass me that small tree? I want to start taking some pictures for our socials.”
He wipes the counter and takes my now empty glass. “Even off the clock, you’re still hard at work.”
“You know it.”
He hands me the mini, plastic, pre-decorated tree and gets to work on the next drink.
“You never answered my question about that Cameron kid.”
I let out a deep sigh, knowing mocktails and work weren’t enough of a detour. “You sure you can’t sneak in something a little stronger than club soda in that martini glass? It’d make this conversation a hell of a lot easier.”
“You know I can’t, Kami.” He cuts into a lemon. “I’m sure you can tell me whatever you want to sober.”
Taking another deep breath, I decide to let the words tumble out.
“We’ve known each other since high school. He dated my sister, they broke up, and we stopped talking for a little over two years until he transferred here.” He hands me the drink and I begin to set it up alongside the small plastic tree. “Our entire dynamic was messed up, and confusing things happened, but we agreed to be friends.” There, that wasn’t too bad.
“Why’d you stop talkin’? Was their breakup that bad? ”
And we’re back to that part. “Yeah, my sister was really hurt; it was her first and only heartbreak, as far as I know.” I pause and decide to open up a little more. “I was also hurt a lot, as selfish as that sounds.”
“It’s not selfish; he was your friend,” Abe says.
“Anyways, the rest is a long story, but in short, he broke promises to my sister and promises he made to me.” I slump in the stool. “It’s been hard to try and trust him again. Especially since he was my best friend at the time this all went down. He knew me better than anyone, including my sister.”
Wow, I’m real chatty today.
Abe wipes some newly washed glasses. “I sense there are a lot of details missin’ from that story because I have a lot of questions.” He turns to me. “Now, whether you want to tell me or not is your decision.”
“Thanks, Abe, I’d rather not?—”
“Just sayin’ it feels better once you get it off your chest.”
Directing my attention toward the drink and tree set up, I reply truthfully. “I don’t know what else there is to say, really. It’s all in the past. We’re trying to start fresh.”
“It doesn’t seem like it’s all in the past,” he mumbles.
Lifting and narrowing my eyes at him, I scoff.
“How can you have a fresh start if you still haven’t addressed your issues and let go of old grudges?” He gives me a sad smile.
That’s a question I’ve asked myself in the past and a conversation I’ve played over and over in my head. But I find it almost impossible to do without Ana for some reason. She was part of our group and a massive part of why I stopped speaking to him. If I still haven’t told her about Cameron going to Driscoll, how am I supposed to ask her to join in on the conversation? Hey sis, your ex-boyfriend and I hooked up a couple of months ago and continued to until I broke things off because I felt guilty. But don’t worry, we’re just friends now and no, we didn’t talk about graduation night yet.
Yeah, that’ll go over well .
When I remain at a loss for words, Abe continues, “I’m just goin’ to say this. I saw the way that boy looked at you and he likes you. A lot. If you ask me, you should probably take care of your past issues before seein’ how you feel about him.”
The day Abe met him was the day I asked Cam for a break. That was weeks ago and he saw something brewing back then? Am I that blind? Or is that why I asked for the break?
My palms have gotten so sweaty from the anxiety I’ve been experiencing over this conversation that my phone slips from my hand and lands on the counter in the middle of taking a picture. God damn Cameron and Abe for getting in my head. I’m trying to work over here.
Abe chuckles. “Everythin’ okay over there?”
“Doing just fine, Abe,” I deadpan. “Listen, if he does like me, I guess I’ll find out soon enough and deal with it then,” I say, attempting to sound as casual as possible.
If Cameron were to confess any feelings towards me, I have no idea what I’d do. The day, night, and morning we spent together were great. It felt natural like before, but different because Cameron was more affectionate and open than he’s ever been. The looks he gave me weren’t just heated, they were sweet, almost…oh shit.
“You realized that I’m right, didn’t you?” Abe states.
My head moves on its own, confirming that I did indeed just realize that Abe is right and I’m an idiot.
How could I have been so stupid? So damn blind? I let the guilt I was feeling cloud my judgment. All it took was one outsider’s perspective to knock some sense into me.
“You’re still a bartender and I’m still a customer till I leave, right?”
He nods curtly as he throws a rag over his shoulder and leans towards me.
“Do you like him too?” Abe whispers.
My mouth opens, but nothing comes out. It’s like there’s something lodged in my throat. I’m so freakin’ confused. I’ve been confused ever since Cameron walked back into my life.
He nods sympathetically. “I think it’s time you two had a real conversation then.”
Once again, Abe is right. Is it finally time to have the talk? How do we do it without Ana? I guess I can always talk to Ana afterward. Yet I can’t shake this weird feeling I have in the pit of my stomach. There’s something missing, something’s not right. That seed of doubt hasn’t gone away.
Grabbing onto my jacket and tossing my bag over my arm, I thank Abe and walk to the exit. Before leaving, I decide to give him my own piece of advice.
“Don’t wait for her to ask you out, Abe. I see the way you two look at each other.” His face reddens in embarrassment. “Take your own advice and be brave.”
With those final words, I make my way to Astor Hall and form a concrete plan that will happen sooner rather than later.