Chapter 21 #2
Elizabeth was a singularly worthy lady. An entire town had rallied around her, shielding her due to their esteem.
She tolerated his insults and slights when she should have publicly humiliated him.
If not for his aunt’s design to unite them, he might never have known of her dislike.
She was unfailingly kind to him despite his decided unkindness to her.
She was even kind to Miss Bingley, who had barely been polite to her in Hertfordshire.
“Mr Darcy, you are lapsed into quite the brown study.” Elizabeth had been released from a conversation on her other side and had turned her attention back to him.
He looked at her and felt the fullness of his remorse.
She was extraordinary, and even had she nothing—no title, no fortune, or anything of the sort—he would have been honoured to bind his life to hers.
Theirs would have been a happy union, filled with love and laughter, and he would have had a life unlike any he had ever known.
“I am heartily sorry for my treatment of you,” he told her in a voice hoarse with regret. “I should have known it sooner, but I did not, until now, apprehend the fullness of my stupidity or my cruelty.”
She smiled at him rather benevolently, seeming inclined to grant him some measure of clemency. “I know. Pray, let us speak of it no more.”
“You are too generous.”
She waved her hand in the air, seeming as though she wanted to brush away the conversation. “I believe we were speaking of books. Tell me, what do you think of The Lady of the Lake?”
She was successful in redirecting his interest. He soon found himself agreeably engaged in discussing the various themes and notable questions within that work, and many others as well. He found her well read and conversant on a wide variety of works, both fictional and not.
“My father’s library is extensive, and we have added to it. He enjoys a spirited debate.”
“I believe his daughter does as well. There were several times during our conversation when I suspected you were expressing an opinion not your own to provoke the discussion.”
“You found me out.” She laughed, her eyes twinkling and enchanting him. “Why do so many ladies believe they must mould their opinions to those of their partners? It suffocates any possibility for discussion. Do they not eventually run out of things to say if no one ever has a differing thought?”
Darcy nodded, too deep in his admiration to say more.
Oh, that this conversation and the conviviality we are sharing would never end!
Her sparkling repartee and evident enjoyment of the moment was too enthralling.
He felt himself tempted to do something unwanted and ridiculous, like kissing her or professing his love again, but he did not wish to mar this tentative peace.
The ladies soon rose to withdraw, and he simultaneously exhaled in relief and mentally groaned in disappointment. She offered him a brief smile as she left; he supposed it would have to sustain him.
That was far better than expected. Mr Darcy was rather agreeable.
Elizabeth was happy for Jane’s sake that she and Mr Darcy could tolerate one another in company. She believed his friend would soon offer for Jane, and Jane would accept. Then they surely would all be often together.
Mama will not be pleased.
Thinking of her mother’s response led to further reflection on her own marital expectations.
She could not marry a man like Mr Bingley, and not because of her mother’s disapproval.
Her son required a suitable father, and a man without a family estate would not do, no matter how large his fortune or how amiable his temper.
So she must understand why Mr Darcy left Hertfordshire without expressing his feelings. He had been encouraged to make a brilliant match his whole life, and as she had her son, he had his sister to consider. Although she despised it, nevertheless, it was the way of the world.
What might society say were she to announce a desire to marry someone like Mr Goulding’s son Jasper?
Jasper was handsome, kind, and heir to Haye Park, which had an income of nearly three thousand a year.
She had known him since she was a child, and prior to her elevation, he would have been a good prospect.
Now, however, he could not be a consideration.
Mr Darcy entered the room with the other gentlemen and stood in an out-of-the-way spot near the pianoforte. He did not look her way, so she indulged herself in consideration of his character and person.
To compare him to her departed husband would be unfair. At their essence, they were different men. Henry was amiable and gregarious, at ease in nearly any society, whereas Mr Darcy was easy nowhere. Even now, among a company of his equals, he appeared aloof.
She shook her head a bit, still unable to imagine what absurd impulse had led to his declarations. He did not seem the sort to deceive or to be carried away into flights of fancy. It made no sense unless he truly—No! She stopped that thought at once!
Perhaps he did feel a sort of affection or attraction, and perhaps he was so unaccustomed to such feelings that he believed it was love.
That must surely be the case, and if so, he was to be pitied.
To fancy himself in love would subsequently cause him to fancy himself heartbroken, and she would not wish to hurt him, no matter how he had treated her.
I must be kind to him.
Her thoughts were interrupted as she was joined by two gentlemen she had met earlier that evening, Viscount Milbank and his friend, Mr Donning.
“Lady Courtenay will you join us in a game of cards?” She agreed and accompanied them to the tables.
Elizabeth thought she had rarely laughed as she did at the card table that evening.
Both Milbank and Donning were older than she, in their thirties, and had a store of amusing tales dating back to their time together at Eton, which they had attended with Henry and his brother.
Their stories were full of the boyish pranks in which the foursome had engaged although Elizabeth noted that much of Francis’s “fun” was somewhat mean spirited.
Donning flirted with her in a circumspect manner. It was almost amusing to see him defer to her opinions and pander to her as they played. She enjoyed his sense of humour, however, and he appeared to be a learned and witty man. Overall, she found him rather engaging.
When Viscount and Lady Milbank rose from the table, Donning lingered with Elizabeth. “I do hope the conversation about your late husband was not distressing.”
“Not at all; I enjoyed it. These are stories I otherwise might never have heard.”
“They are likely all in his journals.” Donning laughed. “I never knew someone as eager to chronicle his life as Henry was. His father encouraged it; he felt it a good practice for young gentlemen.”
“I have not seen his journals,” Elizabeth said thoughtfully. “Perhaps they are at Warrington.”
“Perhaps,” Donning agreed. “He would not have discarded them. They were prized, almost above all else.”
“I must find them.” Elizabeth smiled up at the man. “Thank you; you might have found a bit of my husband for me that I had not known existed.”
He bowed lightly. “Pleased to be of any service, madam.”
The two spoke of inconsequential matters for a short while after that and soon prepared to depart as the party was coming to its end. As Elizabeth turned to look for Jane, she found Mr Darcy close by. He was staring out a window with a displeased frown. When he saw her, he came to her immediately.
With no preamble, he spoke. “The estate of the Donning family is in significant arrears. Donning’s father is too fond of ladies and gambling; he has lost his wife’s fortune and his son’s inheritance.
He spends his days in idleness and dissipation, seeking a scheme to make a quick fortune sufficient to save their land. ”
Elizabeth replied teasingly, “If his father offers for me, I shall certainly remember that.”
Mr Darcy frowned. “I only tell you this that you might be aware of his situation. Donning will inherit his father’s estate, as well as the problems and debts that come along with it.”
“That is important information, but I only played cards with the gentleman. We made no arrangements beyond that, nor had I planned to do so.”
Mr Darcy’s colour was high and his speech was stiff. “I beg your pardon; you are not in need of my protection, but I would not wish you to be taken in by someone whose motives were self-serving.”
They found themselves the last remaining in the room and slowly strolled towards the door. Elizabeth noticed he wore the same expression as when he had accused her of the assignation with Jervis. He is concerned about me though it is seasoned with a healthy dose of jealousy.
She laid her hand on his arm, squeezing lightly. “Thank you. I do appreciate your assistance, particularly as I know so few people.”
The look on his face softened. “It is not my place, I know.”
She smiled at him gently and then withdrew her hand. Bingley was handing Jane into the carriage as they approached, and Mr Darcy reached out to do the same for her. She thanked him as she climbed in, and then they departed.