Chapter 28 #2
“So, fully apprehending your hesitation, I say yes, I do agree to a practical marriage with you, accepting whatever amount of affection you give to me because I cannot live without you.”
Their eyes met and his words—I cannot live without you—gave her an inexplicable thrill. She felt her heart swelling under the power of his gaze; it was almost too painful to bear.
“I would be far happier with half of your heart than the whole of anyone else’s,” he added softly.
She was finally able to tear her eyes from his, lowering them as a light blush heated her cheeks. “I believe we have an understanding.”
He took her hand in his and stopped where they stood on the park’s tree-lined path. “So, you will marry me?”
“Yes, it will be my honour, sir.”
He bowed over her hand, kissing it tenderly. “I hope you know how happy you have made me.”
She felt herself blush hotter and murmured, “I hope to always make you happy.”
He put his finger under her chin and made her look up at him.
His eyes were unrelenting in their emotion, and she knew, just then, how deeply he felt for her.
She could see it written in his eyes, and she felt a momentary pang of fear, hoping she would never disappoint him or make that light grow dim.
She tugged his hand, hoping to induce him to begin walking again and stop looking at her with such passion.
“I long to kiss you right now,”
“As I have already behaved exceedingly poorly this week, I must refrain from any more.” She laughed uncomfortably. To her great relief, they resumed their walk, speaking of insignificant matters on the way.
As they entered Elizabeth’s house, Darcy said, “May I…?”
“May you what?”
“May I meet your son?”
“My son!” She stopped short on the threshold of the drawing room, and Darcy nearly collided with her.
She had expected he might wish for more kisses or an embrace or something of that nature.
“Oh! I…I am surprised you wish to see him.” She continued into the room and took a seat on the nearest settee where Darcy joined her.
“Surprised? If I am to be the boy’s father, should I not at least meet him first?”
She laughed lightly at her own stupidity. “Of course you should. I shall call his nursemaid to bring him to us.”
“I believe I might prefer to see him in his nursery.”
“You wish to visit his nursery? Why?”
Darcy shrugged. “When I was young, and my father sent for me, it always seemed that I was to be scolded. I do not wish for young Henry to feel so when we meet. I believe I should do better to meet him in his own place.”
Elizabeth had a strange tight feeling in her throat brought about by Darcy’s consideration and with the thought of her son, at long last, having a father to care for him. She agreed to take Darcy to the nursery.
They had barely reached the door of the drawing room when Darcy spoke her name. She looked at him and saw a tender light had come into his eyes as he reached for her hand. Her heart began to pound as he pulled her into his embrace.
He pressed her hand to his chest as his other hand stole around her waist. He was gentle, as if she were a fragile and precious object, and he pressed lightly on her back to draw her close. His heart pounded too, she discovered, feeling it against her chest.
“Tell me this is not a dream,” he murmured as he bent his head to kiss her, and she met him easily. His kiss grew more urgent, and she felt the door against her back as he pressed her into it, dropping her hand and using both of his to cup her face as he kissed her deeply.
Licentious, wanton thoughts flooded her almost immediately, causing her to pull away, certain Mr Darcy would not wish to know he had just become betrothed to some harlot.
I must control myself. Is my long time of loneliness making me wish to abandon all restraint with him?
His body felt so hard and muscled against her, so manly and strong. It was almost irresistible.
She was breathless when he pulled back. “You tempt me too well, Mr Darcy.”
“No more Mr Darcy, my Elizabeth.”
She smiled playfully at him. “Very well, Fitzwilliam.”
He smiled and then grew more serious, placing gentle kisses on the side of her face and neck. “I did have one question regarding this marriage of friendship between us.”
“What is that?”
He hesitated. “You do know that I require an heir.”
She laughed as a hot blush rose on her cheeks. “It will be a unique friendship, I suppose. I did not anticipate a celibate relationship with you, sir, I assure you.”
“Good.” He kissed her again. “Because that, madam, I do not think I could manage.”
Young Henry was seated at a table, a meal before him, when they arrived in the nursery. He was as disinclined towards food as ever, and the appearance of his mother and a new friend made him still more uninterested.
He ran to them immediately, arms outstretched, but it was Darcy, not Elizabeth, he reached for. Darcy knelt scooping him into his arms. “Good day there, sir. I wonder whether I might have your permission to marry your mother.”
Henry laughed and indicated that he wished to be down. Darcy placed him on the floor, noticing immediately that Elizabeth was fretting over her son’s plate.
She saw him look at her. “I sometimes think he must survive on air. I worry too much over it, I know. His nurse assures me that children do not starve themselves. She assures me that, when he is hungry he will eat.”
Henry was back, holding a ball that he tried to toss into the air. Alas, his skill at throwing meant that the ball, instead of going towards Darcy, went behind Henry, but he was happy regardless, whirling and chasing it down before trying again.
Elizabeth called to him. “Henry, would you like a bite of this beef?”
“No!”
“Look at this nice bread! Nurse Jenny has put loads of jam on it!”
“No jam!” Henry announced cheerfully, tossing the ball behind himself again.
Darcy went to Henry’s small table. “Excellent. I fancy some jam. I think I shall eat it all.”
Henry stopped chasing the ball and watched as Darcy took a piece of the bread and pretended to put it in his mouth. With another giggle, Henry came over and, just as the bread neared Darcy’s mouth, leant in and took a bite.
“Shocking manners!” Darcy exclaimed, feigning offence. “Have you ever seen such a thing? I shall have this bite then…”
They continued to play, Henry snatching bites away from Darcy until a reasonable amount of food had been consumed. Elizabeth smiled, surprised by Darcy’s ease and playfulness with Henry.
When the bread had been mostly eaten, the ball was tossed around a bit.
Henry then decided to show Darcy his most important possessions: a book that he particularly favoured, a rag doll made to look like a dog, and an old, well-used blanket with which he slept.
His nap was soon upon them, and Jenny returned to attend to him while Darcy and Elizabeth departed.
Darcy was required to leave soon after, and Elizabeth watched him go with regret and no small amount of wonder at the events of the day. Her heart was full, and her mind rested on the vision of the little family they would have together. She was surprised by how eager she was to see it become true.