Chapter 10 #2
I didn’t have any plans before I quit. Hell, I hadn’t planned on quitting at all. I loved the bookstore and Drea, despite her complicated character, and I had no plans on leaving until that night.
I had texted Daisy that I’d wanted to come over even though it was late.
Rylee called me from the bar to come get Drea and Cara, and Blair insisted on going too.
We were going over some things for the book signing she was scheduled to do in the store.
Drea was her girlfriend, so I wasn’t about to tell her no.
Needless to say, when we got to the bar, Drea and Cara were both a little drunk and were yelling at each other. Blair tried to diffuse the situation, but it only escalated until Rylee kicked us all out and the yelling continued on the sidewalk.
I quit that night, Cara ended her publishing contract and friendship with Blair, and Drea and Blair broke up. It was a long night for all of us, and I sort of rage quit. All the anger I’d been keeping inside finally spilled over when Drea tried to blame me for her breakup.
Every time we saw each other now, she gave me a big hug and told me she was sorry and appreciated me, and every time I told her it wasn’t necessary but thanked her.
Daisy parked, pulling me from my thoughts and I got out of the car before striding over to hers.
She saw me and smiled. “You’re wearing your yoga shorts.
” She looked at my shorts, the same ones I’d worn my first time doing yoga in her house.
Did she not like them? The way she looked at them was like she wanted to rip them off and throw them in the dumpster.
I frowned and turned around checking out the back. “What’s wrong with them? You don’t think they look good?”
Her gaze landed on my hip, and I just sort of looked at her. What was going on in her head?
Whatever it was, she shook it away before I could ask. “No. That’s not… There’s nothing wrong with them at all. They do look good. Really good. I was just asking. Should we go inside now?”
I stared at her for a moment longer but decided it was best to let it go. I didn’t know what was going on with her, and I wanted to know, but I didn’t want us to be late.
We headed inside and immediately found Drea and Blair on the court. They were getting cozy and very close, of course. And I shook my head and smiled at them. They were insatiable sometimes.
“Get a room!” I yelled like the mature adult I was. In reality, I was happy for them and it wasn’t like this was the first time I’d seen them kiss. I’d seen a lot more of Blair’s legs than I ever wanted to.
They broke apart and smiled when they saw us. Blair fixed her lipstick and Drea lightly smacked her on the ass, causing a squeal from Blair. Good lord, those two!
“Kaisy’s here!” Blair shouted from across the court. She ran up to us and gave us a big hug. I turned to scowl at Drea, who was coming up behind her and tried to hide my blush.
I rolled my eyes as they both did the sign for sunshine, lifting their hand near their temple and letting their fingers bloom outward. At some point, they’d decided that was going to be the sign for our names instead of spelling it out. Was it cute? Yes. Was it embarrassing? Also, yes.
“That’s so cute!” Daisy said, tapping me on the shoulder. My blush deepened, and I wanted to throw the ball at Drea.
She was the one who gave us that nickname. Every time we walked in the store together, she’d ask me “How’s Kaisy today?”
We said hello before we split off into teams. Drea and Blair against me and Daisy. I knew we were going to lose. They had been playing for a while, and I had no clue what I was doing. I still wasn’t sure what pickleball even was. It looked like tennis to me.
We served them their first point. After a while, and several points awarded to them, I started to get the hang of it and even scored points of my own. Daisy was a natural, and we won only because of her.
After a few rounds, my mind started drifting to everything that had happened recently. I was still mourning the loss of my father, so I put all my energy into that game. I also started thinking about Daisy, and I might have gotten a little aggressive with my hits.
Daisy in the bathtub, naked and dripping with soapy water.
Daisy staring at me without a shirt on. Daisy…
taking care of herself in her room, exploring her body as she came apart from her own touch.
It was pure torture. Being in the same house as her and not being able to kiss her or touch her was maddening.
She was my best friend. I shouldn’t have those thoughts about her, and yet… it was impossible not to. Being in love with someone you can’t have is something I wouldn’t wish on anyone.
If I tried to find my own person, it would probably get easier, but I wasn’t ready to try dating again.
I just had too much going on between dealing with my dad’s house and work at the store.
Not to mention my complicated feelings for Daisy.
I wished I’d wake up one day and they were just gone.
I wanted to love her without being in love with her.
If she ever found out, if she ever knew how I felt about her, she’d probably kick me out of her house and drop contact with me.
On my last serve, a scream escaped my throat, and Blair and Drea just looked at me, shocked. I tried to play it off as a normal part of the game, but it sort of sounded like a banshee scream. The tears streaming down my face probably gave me away, too.
“Kaia—” Blair started, but Drea put a hand on her arm, stopping her from asking if I was okay. I wasn’t, and I needed this game to finish so I could take a shower and get back to normal.
“All good,” I said. “I’ll meet you guys after the showers. Daisy, I’ll see you in there?” She nodded with confusion written on her face. “Good game, guys.”
I walked off the court without another word, wiping my tears away and feeling everyone’s eyes on me. What the hell was wrong with me? I was usually so much calmer and I didn’t cry this much unless I was reading.
I stopped just outside the locker room when I felt a tap on my shoulder.
Daisy. I turned around to see her standing there, brows furrowed with worry.
I hated that. I had to pull it together.
I didn’t want her worrying about me. I was fine—I’d be fine.
I just needed some space between us. Maybe I’d make an excuse to take a long weekend trip alone somewhere. Just to clear my head.
“Are you okay?” Daisy asked, bringing me back to the present.
Yes. I was fine. I was crying and screaming and basically trying to murder the ball because I was perfectly fine.
“I’m fine.” I plastered on as much of a smile as I could manage and headed for the locker room.
She grabbed my wrist as soon as the door to the locker room closed, stopping me in place as she always did when she touched me. I turned around to face her, not wanting to see the question in her eyes. Sometimes I wished she wasn’t so observant. “Stop, Kaia. What’s going on?”
“Nothing. I’m just getting ready for the showers. I’m sweaty.” I made a face. I wasn’t really that stinky, but I was trying to play it off.
Of course, she saw right through it. She glared at me. “Come on, Kai. You won’t even look at me. You’ve been kinda weird all day too, and you were a little mean to the ball out there. What’s wrong?”
I couldn’t. How could I look her in the eyes after what I saw? She was going to think I was such a perv. Just standing in the shadows, watching the woman I love touch herself. Ugh! I sounded like a predator to my own ears.
“I… last night, I was going to get water, and I saw you in your room. In your bed. You were…” I couldn’t say the words.
“I was what? Sleeping? Did you watch me sleep? Is that why you’re being so weird?” She smiled, so I knew she wasn’t put off by that idea, which was a whole other conversation we should probably have.
I shook my head. “No, I didn’t watch you sleep. You weren’t sleeping. You were… touching yourself.”
I wanted to throw up just talking about it. For a long while, she didn’t say anything. She just stared at me with wide eyes. I crossed a line, for sure. It wasn’t like it was intentional; my body was frozen with shock.
I didn’t think it was my imagination that she opened her mouth as if she was taking in a breath. I also didn’t think I imagined her licking her lips. But maybe I did.
Finally, she brought up hands to sign. “Did it make you uncomfortable, Kaia?”
“What?” My brain wouldn’t process her question.
She took a few steps closer, and I gulped, trying not to move. “Did it make you uncomfortable? To see me touch myself like that?”
I shook my head, so glad I didn’t have to speak. “No. It’s your body. You can do whatever you want with it.”
This conversation was making me uncomfortable, though.
Seeing her enjoying her own body made my knees weak.
Talking about it made my stomach weak. My face was on fire, turning the darkest shade of red.
She stood there, unmoving, looking at me.
Waiting for me to say more? Waiting for me to do something?
“Did you enjoy the show?” she asked, finally getting me out of my thoughts.
I didn’t answer that. She didn’t need to know how much I enjoyed it despite myself. I toyed with my lip, taking it between my teeth.
Her eyes trailed down to my mouth, watching me fidget. The air was hot and the tension was thick. I didn’t know what to say or do. I wanted to step closer and grab her. I wanted to pull her to me and take her own lips between my teeth.
I cleared my throat and pointed to the showers. I needed to get out of there before I did something I’d regret. “I’m going to go… take a shower.”
“That’s a good idea. Me too.”
I nodded and turned to head for the showers, when she took off her shirt.
She was wearing a white sports bra, and I couldn’t help but stare at her nipples peeking through. I really loved boobs, and my brain knew that, causing me to look at them no matter what. She noticed, too, and smirked when she bent down to take off her shorts.
Why was she doing this to me? Was this all in my head? It had to be. She had no clue what I felt for her. If she did, she would’ve waited until I was gone before she undressed.
Once her bra came off, I swallowed. Good lord! Her boobs were so perfect. The tattoo I’d fantasized about touching so many times looked as if they held up her breasts perfectly.
I tried and failed not to let my eyes travel down the rest of her body. I almost fainted, seeing her perfect pussy for the first time.
My eyes lingered there for only a split second before I moved them lower to the floor. If I kept looking, I’d start wondering how it felt or tasted, and that was not a thought I needed to have with her standing right in front of me.
She still hadn’t moved. She was letting me stare at her, but why? Finally, I forced my eyes back up to hers. She was watching me watch her, heat in her eyes. What was going on?
I didn’t have time to question it before she licked her lips and headed for the showers.
I bit my lip. Surely she knew I’d watch her walk away. Her ass was so round and perfect I almost bit my lip hard enough to make it bleed. I was so turned on that I needed a few seconds to gather myself before I walked to the showers.
I turned on the water as cold as it would go until my body was calm enough for me to take a normal shower.
“Holy fuck!” I mouthed to myself. I had to get it together. I had to leave the shower and pretend that I wasn’t soaking wet because of my best friend. I had to go on like nothing was wrong. I couldn’t let her see that whatever she was unintentionally doing was affecting me.
I was able to gather myself long enough to finish my shower and get dressed. I was just putting my shirt over my head when she walked out of the showers. I thanked whoever was listening that her body was covered in a towel.
She got dressed without incident and started talking about dinner like nothing happened, and I wasn’t about to question it.
We left the showers, and Drea and Blair were waiting for us. They were dressed in new clothes, and I didn’t want to ask where they got ready.
“Oh. Did you tell Drea?” Daisy asked as we were about to start heading out.
“Tell me what? That you two are dating?” She said that last part in my ear, and I whipped my head in her direction, wide-eyed.
I scowled at her grin. “That Daisy and I are going to your Christmas party. She convinced me it was a good idea to go.”
“It’s about bloody time. Well, we are excited to have you there. It’s going to be a lot of fun.” She sent me a suspicious wink as she took Blair’s hand and walked away without another word.