Chapter 10
Tanner
Since high school, every time I said the words we need to talk, the lady would gulp and say just about anything to please me.
It was still the truth. Cleat chasers had started going after me when I’d made the news at fourteen after hitting two homeruns against a senior, and dealing with them and everything they entailed had become a game I’d learned to play.
Don’t anger them, but don’t make promises.
I was nicer than Aaron, with his disgruntled female fans who wanted to get revenge, and I couldn’t recall a woman hating me after I’d ended the one-night, maybe two-night, relationship.
Because that was what I did. My world was baseball, ensuring my mom and brothers’ safety and whatever time I had left was for fun.
But that kiss with Kenzie had snuck in and I wanted to clear more room for it.
I repeated the words, slower this time. “We need to talk.”
She took a deep breath and exhaled mint. “No, I don’t think we do.”
Um, what? “Hm?”
“I don’t think we need to talk about it.”
“And why is that?”
Okay, this was new and I really didn’t like the feeling of uncertainty going through me.
I removed my hands from her skin because one, its softness drove me crazy and I wanted to run my tongue all over it, biting it and letting her know how much she’d been on my damn mind, but secondly, her eyes were no longer filled with the lust I’d seen the night before. She relaxed when I removed my touch.
The fuck did that mean?
“I know why you did it and I appreciate the gesture, but I don’t think it’s worth revisiting.
” She sucked her bottom lip into her mouth and shuffled her feet back and forth before she met my gaze again.
“It was the best kiss I’ve ever had in my life, but I expected nothing less from the best player in the game. ”
“Tell me, why do you think I did it?” I asked, debating whether to feel amused or hurt at what she said. It was a compliment that reflected my own thoughts, but laced with words that were meant to deter me. They didn’t.
“Because you felt sorry for me. It’s okay, really.
I will never think about Sean again after experiencing the force of you, but don’t worry about me or any crazy notions you must think I have.
” She laughed, the humor not evident in her eyes—the most expressive thing about her—and I wanted to erase the insane words that she’d just said.
They were false, so fucking false, but I didn’t have time to respond.
She patted my face, giving me a playful, almost flirty smile, and said, “Thank you. I wanted an adventure this summer and that kiss was adventurous enough for me.”
Then she went inside. Fucking hell. I crackled every knuckle, twice, and followed her through the door and to the table, where the only two spots were right across from each other. Awesome.
How had our little game in the car moved into her turning me down…
before I’d had the chance to explain my thoughts?
Had this ever happened to me before? No.
It didn’t make me feel better about the situation.
If anything, it hurt worse because everything she’d said about it being the best kiss of her life… was true.
“You did a good thing last night, TJ,” Aaron said, passing the large pot of coffee that sat at our table.
I forced a smile on my face, severely unsure what the fuck he was referring to.
My mind had Kenzie’s name in bright neon lights running across it, but there was no way Aaron knew about that, or his fist would connect with my teeth.
Fake it.
“I do a lot of good things all the time, Hilly. Be more specific.” I ignored the mocking noises from my table mates but found Kenzie watching me with an unusual expression on her face. I tried to reassure her with a small wink, but her expression remained unchanged.
“Amber. I didn’t realize she got that drunk until it was…what, three?”
“Yeah, I needed water and found her puking. It didn’t feel right leaving her on the couch with people still lingering.
” I cringed and took a sip of the drink, letting my attention slide to Kenzie.
The coffee burned my throat and I choked when I saw her expression.
She sat stock still, eyes as large as the plates in the middle of the table and her lips parted.
It was a combination of shock and surprise, and I wiped up the mess I’d made and forced myself to look at Aaron.
“She apologized about fifty times this morning. Poor girl slept on the floor of our bathroom.”
“I take back my previous statement of you being a dick one hundred percent of the time. It’s, like, ninety-five.”
I laughed. “Did it hurt saying that?”
“A little,” he joked, and the vibe shifted at the table. It was probably just me, but everyone seemed more relaxed. Our waitress came and everyone ordered the hangover special of bacon, eggs, toast and more bacon.
“Kenny, you feeling better?” Zade asked from my right side.
I waited for her response and stared at that goddamn beauty mark that was on full display with her shirt hanging off her shoulders. Her skin drove me crazy and I played with a straw wrapper to distract myself.
“Just being around the smell of bacon helped. Thanks,” she said, adding a self-deprecating laugh. She did that a lot. In a weird way, it reminded me of my mom, who never took herself too seriously despite her situation. My mom would like her.
Okay, what the serious fuck? I didn’t talk about my family to anyone.
Ever. It wasn’t worth it. He could find her if I shared too much about them, but the urge to even contemplate it freaked me out.
Shit, is it hot in here? I pulled on the neckline of my shirt and found Greta staring at me with an amused look.
“Something on your mind, G?”
Her smirk grew but she shook her head. “Nope.”
“Then why do you look high?”
“I was just thinking about something that made me smile. That’s all.”
No one paid attention to her quick glance between Kenzie and me, and I had a hard time sitting through the breakfast. Everyone joked, made fun of the fact Kenzie and Zade had won and rambled on about our plans for the Fourth of July.
I chimed in when I had to, but I counted down the seconds until I could head to the gym or cages to get some swings in…
or, get Kenzie alone to continue our conversation.
It wasn’t until hours later that my I found my opportunity.
Aaron went with me to the cages to get a good hour or so of extra swings.
The release of energy helped with the tension in my shoulders, but it did nothing about the state of my mind.
I was with my best friend and teammates, thinking about his younger sister who was just starting college.
Scum. I was fucking scum. I wiggled the bat in my hand, doing my normal routine of swinging four times in the direction of the pitcher.
Aaron put the ball into the machine, and the ball shot to the outer corner.
I swung, extending my forearms so the ball mirrored the direction and it blasted to the right side of the net.
“Nice one. Let’s end on that.”
“Sure.” We picked up the extra balls that had escaped through various holes in the net protecting the cages and fell into a comfortable and familiar silence as we headed toward his car.
He, too, had a fire burning inside him to make it to the Majors and was the only person just as obsessed with getting better as I was.
The difference between us was that the world knew his story and no one knew mine. It was how I preferred it.
“Dude, you are fucking rocking the ball right now.”
“I’m seeing it really clearly.”
“I know. It’s pissing me off,” he said, laughing, and hit my shoulder before we put our gear in his trunk. “I can drop you off at the house if you want, but I’m heading to Greta’s. Callie gets back from her trip and is cooking for Zade and us. You in?”
Impose on their double date and miss the chance to talk to Kenzie with him gone? No thanks. “Not tonight. I’m worn out from the party and cages.”
“I feel you. I tend to hate off-days, but sometimes, like now, I can’t wait to not break a sweat tomorrow. G wants to watch a season of Game of Thrones. I might not be back until Monday.”
I laughed and slid into the front seat, desperate to change the subject. Forty hours with no Aaron? Not good. Nope. I asked the first thing that came to mind. “How’s your dad doing?”
“Still going to chemo, still fighting.”
“No news can be good news,” I said, thinking about my own situation. “You know I’m here if you ever need to talk.”
“I know, dude, thanks.” He focused on the road and remained silent for the short drive to our house. “I appreciate it.”
He dropped me off, giving me about thirty seconds to grab my shit out of the trunk, and flipped me off before driving away.
The light in Kenzie’s room was on and I made sure to stow away my equipment in our pseudo-garage/storage area before heading up there.
I couldn’t explain why my heart raced or why I had the same feeling in my chest as when I walked up to bat.
The door remained open and I didn’t ask before sticking my head into her room.
She sat on her bed, legs crisscrossed, hair in two braids and those goddamn glasses falling off her nose as she read a large book.
She wore the tiniest pajama shorts and oversized Cubs shirt that had my mouth watering. “Hey.”
She looked up, smiled and set the huge text to the side. “Hey yourself. I wondered who got back first.”
“They’re all going to Greta and Callie’s for her cooking. If you haven’t had it, it’s stupid good.” I leaned against the door, loving the slight blush of her cheeks and the number of times she ran her teeth over her bottom lip. “Did you want to join them?”
“Ah, maybe another time.”
“Got big plans tonight?” I motioned to the book. She pursed her plump lips and nodded with all the confidence in the world.
“I do. Thanks for asking. I’m assuming you’re leaving…?” She let the words hang, sounding a little too hopeful for my liking. I pushed off the doorframe and took two large steps until I met her bed. “Sure, come in, please.”
“Kenzie.” The way I said her name caught her attention. She swallowed hard, blinking more and more the closer I moved toward her. “You’re not drunk, are you?”
“What? No! Why would you think that?”
“I’m making sure because I want to tell you something I haven’t been to get off my mind all fucking day.
” I scooted closer so our legs touched and took it as a good sign when she didn’t push me away.
“I didn’t kiss you for any other reason then I wanted to know what your lips felt like against mine. ”
I had no idea how she reacted to that, because all she did was chew on her goddamn lip and stare at me. “And, Kenzie, they rocked my fucking world. I’m going to want to taste you again.”
Yes. She sucked in a breath, her chest moving a lot faster than it had been seconds earlier. I moved to get closer to her, but she reached out and pushed against my chest. I froze, so goddamn confused at what had happened, but then she spoke.
“That girl. You helped her, that’s all?”
I’m a fucking idiot. Pieces clicked together and I covered her hand with mine, trying hard not to laugh. She thinks I hooked up with Amber after kissing her. “I helped her clean herself up, gave her a shirt and a glass of water. That’s it.”
“And our kiss was the best for you, too?” She arched a brow, challenging me in her own cute way.
“One hundred percent, yes,” I said, carefully moving closer to her. “It would a disservice to kisses everywhere if we didn’t indulge ourselves again, just to be sure.”
She giggled and slid down the bed so she was completely underneath me. I propped myself up onto my elbows and stared at this beautiful, spunky girl, and time seemed to stop. “They’re gone all night?”
“All night.”
“Just us?”
“You and me, Kenzie.” I pressed my lips against her jaw, moving along her skin until I got to the spot underneath her ear. She smelled like the shampoo I loved, a mixture of sweet and sweat, and my voice shook when I asked, “Can I kiss you again, before I lose my mind?”
“Hell, yeah, you can.”