Chapter 22
Tanner
Aaron drove me to the stadium where I was expected to meet Nicole—our trainer and Callie’s pseudo-boss—to get around noon the damage report on my leg.
Eating and breathing were hard when my future was at stake and while part of me knew how I’d dealt with Kenzie was awful, I couldn’t think about it. Not yet.
I needed the answers first.
“Call me when you’re done. Don’t be a dick to Nicole.
She’ll murder you,” Aaron said, taking off the second I got out of the car.
Her training room during our season was off to the side in a little office with glass windows.
I hobbled down the cemented hallway, preparing myself for the worst. Each step caused pain in my lower back and I knew if I had a large tear in my hamstring, I could be out for six weeks.
That was just unacceptable. Something I couldn’t afford to have happen. With a heavy hand, I knocked on her door and was met with a scowl. “Johnson, what did you do?”
“Not sure. Rounding third, I felt a pull, and it hasn’t gotten any better.”
She exhaled and led me to a table where she instructed me to lie on my back. I did, and winced when she lifted my leg and tried pushing my knee to my chest. I couldn’t do it with the pain. “Lots of pain in your thigh when I do this?”
“Yes,” I said through gritted teeth. “Iced it this morning, but it didn’t help.”
She did a couple more exercises, stretching and maneuvering my leg at different angles. Then she clicked her tongue. “Pulled hammie. Probably gunna be out for two weeks, minimum. See me in fourteen days and we can start light exercises.”
I covered my eyes with the palms of my hands, pressing into them and digesting my reality. Two weeks. Better than six, worse than none. “Okay. I can do that.”
“You don’t have a choice. Ice, aspirin, stretches.
You’re an active guy, be smart about this.
Short-term decisions won’t help your endgame.
” She patted my knee twice and told me to hold still.
She bagged some ice, twisted it off at the end and set it on my thigh.
“Twenty minutes, then you can head out. I swear, Tanner, don’t overdo it.
You’re not in season and this is more an annoyance than a setback. ”
“Yeah, I understand.”
“Do you?” she asked, fire in her eyes that knew too much. She knew all of us really well, and I swore she could smell my bullshit. “I’ll know. No playing until I clear you. I’m going to call your coach now and inform him.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
She left the training room without glancing back at me, and my swirling thoughts clashed with the silence of the room. Nineteen more minutes. That was a lot of time to think about my family, future and…how I’d treated Kenzie.
“Fuck.” I groaned into my fist. I shouldn’t have snapped at her when she’d asked what happened…and I sure as hell should’ve texted her we were getting back early. Being a dick wasn’t my go-to for anyone, and I couldn’t rationalize why I’d needed to act that way.
Because I blamed her for my playing.
Rationally, I knew that was absurd, but it didn’t stop me.
She met football guys…ugh. I pushed the thought away because it got my blood pumping with adrenaline.
Overhearing her talking to her brother and Zade hadn’t been the best way to wake up with feelings of shame and regret.
I had major work to do when I got back and I wasn’t sure how to go about it.
Am I such an asshole I never had to apologize before? God. Sometimes I hated myself. I knew why I rarely apologized. I never let myself care enough to feel bad about something, unless it was on the baseball field.
Not a pleasant pill to swallow.
My thoughts derailed when my phone rang, the familiar ringtone alerting me it was my mom. I scrambled it from my pocket and answered immediately. “Hey, Mom, is everything okay?”
“Yes, Tallen.” She chuckled, the sound warm and her, and it had a calming effect on my spiked nerves. “I know we didn’t talk yesterday since you had some games. How did you play?”
“Like shit. Scouts were there and had no interest in talking to me,” I snapped, sounding like a pouting child. “I pulled a muscle so I’m out two weeks.”
She sighed, letting a couple of seconds of silence go by before she spoke. “I’m not going to spend my time listening to you admiring the problem. Tell me the solutions instead.”
A hard slap of truth. “I wasn’t seeing the ball well at the plate and my head was distracted.”
“Use your two weeks to clear your head. If it’s worrying about me and your brothers…please don’t. We’re doing well. They’re loving their summer camp and are part of a program at school to get free cellphones. They’ll be so excited when they can start texting you. Be prepared.”
“What? That’s awesome!” My mood lifted. “Yeah, have them text me as soon as they get a device. Wow, how cool.”
“I’m thankful. The service provides a phone easily adapted so Marcus can use it.
It was a wonderful surprise. Now, about the scouts.
You’ve spoken to a handful of them, but it doesn’t guarantee anything.
Focus on your goals. Getting on base, making plays in the outfield and silently leading your team. ”
“Thanks, Mom, I needed to hear this.” I gripped the phone a little tighter in my hand, already forming a plan of attack. “This helped.”
“It’s what moms do. We help in whatever capacity we can.”
“Love you. Tell hello to the boys for me.”
“I love you, too, Tallen. I’ll tell them and I don’t want to hear any more complaints when we talk next week. Deal?”
“Yes,” I mumbled, getting another chuckle from her. We hung up. Having a focus helped. Clear my head, rest my leg, come back ready to play.
Clearing my head meant one thing…talking to Kenzie.
My plan didn’t work out how I wanted it to—Kenzie was at the bar Monday night and she wasn’t back yet.
It was eleven, the familiar worrying feeling had returned and I couldn’t distract myself.
I tried video games, movies, social media and even reading a baseball book.
I got only ten minutes into the activity before I’d check my phone, or the light in her room to see if she was back. This is stupid.
Tanner: Are you heading back home soon? We need to chat.
Kenzie: You might need to chat, I sure don’t.
Tanner: Are you safe? Do you have a ride home?
Kenzie: Chill, I’m fine.
God, she was frustrating me, but I deserved the short answers.
Kenzie: Not being secretive. I met my future roommates and they are driving me back. I’m trying not to be a rude human and be on my phone with them.
I read the subtle dig at me in her text and adjusted my position in my bed so my leg could stretch fully.
It tightened when I didn’t move around enough or change angles, and with another thirty minutes of worrying, I finally heard her light footsteps coming up the stairs.
Wincing, I moved from my bed and walked through our bathroom.
She stopped at the door, staring at me with an unreadable expression.
God, I missed her.
She wore ripped black jeans, a tight black tank top and a cut-off jean jacket. Her hair was in a high ponytail and those cute glasses perched on top of her nose. My heart skipped a beat and I blamed it on my nerves. It wasn’t often I apologized. “Hey.”
Cool, I’m off to a great start.
“Can you let me know who I’m dealing with? Is this the guy I’ve spent the last three weeks laughing with or the one who is a total dick?” she replied, not stepping into her room or closing her door. Aaron could walk out from the other side of the hallway at any second, but she didn’t seem to care.
I gulped. “I’m here to apologize.”
“Then don’t let me stop you.” She sighed and entered the room, shutting the wooden door and leaving the two of us alone. She removed her jacket, putting her bare arms and neck on display, and the urge to kiss her had me stuttering. She’s so fucking pretty.
“Could you look at me?”
She stopped removing her shoes and gave me her full attention, green eyes wide and patient, a smirk almost forming on her delicious lips.
I hobbled from my spot to her bed, sitting down two feet away from her. “I’m sorry for a couple of things. I should’ve texted you we were on our way back. It hit me today how scared you were last night and that’s pretty shitty of me and Aaron.”
“It was. I’m madder at my brother for that, but carry on.”
I swallowed hard and ran my hand through my hair, hoping that would make this easier. It didn’t. “I blamed you for me not playing well and getting hurt.”
“Um, what?” Her eyebrows disappeared into her hairline and her chest heaved in what I could only assume was anger. “Explain how that would be my fault.”
“No, I know it’s not. I was looking for someone to blame and the only difference in my life is you, really.
I worried about you when my phone broke, how you were doing at work, and it distracted me and my game.
It wasn’t fair to you and it was a shitty move.
” I stood, groaning at the pain in my thigh, and moved to put my hands on her neck—just over her collarbone and her sexy birthmark.
“I’m sorry for my behavior. I’m out for two weeks and until I knew that, my brain was on high alert, like everything was ruined. I panicked and took it out on you.”
She sucked one of her cheeks into her mouth and studied me for a minute before she spoke. “Thanks for being honest.”
“Can you forgive me?” I moved my fingers up to her jaw, cupping it and pulling her closer to me. “I have two weeks where I can’t do anything…fourteen days with you in this house. Think of all the things I can do to you…to help you forgive me.”
Her eyes fluttered shut and I leaned in, not quite touching our lips together because I wanted her to make that decision.
After some excruciating seconds, she closed the distance and let me taste her.
It had been a long week, way too long, and I yanked her body against mine.
I couldn’t get her close enough—the sounds she made, the way her tongue danced against mine, the taste of gum still in her mouth.
My dick sprang to life, desperate for a slice of our insane chemistry.
I moved my fingers down her arms, over her sides, and landed on her ass.
I moaned between kisses, “God, I missed your mouth.”
She clutched my T-shirt, digging her nails into my abs, but too soon, she stopped.
She pushed me a foot away and stared at me with her mouth parted, her lips red and swollen.
“I’m not sure I’m ready to forgive you. Yes, our bodies are amazing together when naked, but you were hurtful on purpose.
I don’t condone that in any relationship—roommates, friends, lovers, colleagues.
While I’d love to make you use your mouth in all my dirty places, you can’t kiss your way to forgiveness. ”
Oh my god, is she ending this? Fuck. No. No! “Kenzie,” I started, but my words jumped in my head because I wasn’t sure what to say. “Tell me what I need to do.”
“Let me sleep on it.”
“Yeah, of course. Sure, I’ll, uh, just go back into my room.
Sleep on it.” I blinked a lot, hoping she couldn’t see right through me.
The thought of not being with her again scared me, and I had no idea why.
It wasn’t something I had the emotional capability to analyze.
I hobbled two steps toward the bathroom and paused, not wanting to end our conversation.
We hadn’t spoken in two weeks—being roomed with Aaron didn’t help that—and I found I enjoyed her voice.
It wasn’t too high, or too low. Just perfect, and it became husky when she was turned on. “Work was good?”
“Yeah, I’m liking it so far.” She gave me a small smile and began taking off her clothes.
Um, what? My mouth dried when she ripped off her shirt and stood there topless.
Her perky nipples stood on end, begging to be sucked, the perfectly pink circles giving me a case of blue balls that sent pain to my core.
She didn’t stop there. She wiggled out of her jeans, standing in a lace thong that left nothing to my imagination. Good god. Her body. This is torture.
“Tanner? Did you hear me?”
“Hm?” I couldn’t look away from her smooth skin—I knew how it felt against my palms and how it tasted when I kissed her. Her two dimples on her lower back drove me wild and I bit my knuckle to stop myself from panting for her. “What did you s-say?”
She gave me a coy smirk, stopping her movements and putting her hands on her naked hips. “I’m sorry. Is me being naked awkward?”
“N-no.” I gulped again, loudly.
She traced her fingers along her chest, biting down on her lower lip, and tilted her head at me as she pulled on her taut nipples. “Oh, good. I was worried. But yeah, as I was saying, I’ve enjoyed working there. It’s good money and I get to meet cool people.”
She continued teasing with her small hands and without warning, she slid on an oversized shirt that barely covered her ass. It had an old-school logo on it. She gave me an expectant look and I had no idea how to respond, so I said, “That’s c-cool.”
“It is. My new roommates stopped in and I got to chat with them. I’m fucking pumped to live with them—one has a twin brother on the football team and the other is a golfer. How cool is that?”
“Yeah,” I agreed, sounding dumb as shit. “Roommates can make or break your living situation.”
“I know,” she said, giving me a pointed stare. “It gave me a lot of hope for starting college. It sounds cheesy, but I’m ready to have what you guys all have—friends that are more like family.”
Calm the fuck down and be a good friend. I forced my voice to remain even and gave her my best impression of a smile. “You’re a part of our family, Kenz. But you’ll get to create your own, too, and that’s pretty damn special.”
She gave me the widest grin and pushed her crazy hair behind her ears. “Thanks, TJ. See, this is how I view you. Someone who is kind, supportive and respectful. Sleeping together doesn’t give you privileges to act any different.”
“You’re the first girl I’ve been with where we even had to have this conversation.”
“Good night, TJ. I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Night, Kenzie.” I couldn’t stop myself. I placed a kiss on her forehead before heading into my room. It wasn’t the night I’d planned to have—a raging boner without release—but it was one that made me happy in a totally different way. Weird.