Chapter 16
The second Harry had finished in the kitchen, he’d locked up and headed out to find Ed.
Maybe Liam was right and it would do Ed some good to stew for a couple of days but it didn’t sit right with Harry.
He adored all his brothers but what he and Ed shared was something different, something the other two would never understand.
His twin was hurting and Harry would do whatever it took to fix that.
His first port of call was the cottage Ed and Matt shared down near the beach but there was no answer at the front door.
Maybe he had headed over to their parents’.
Ed had always been particularly close to their mum and if he was feeling sore over what Liam had said he might have gone there for a bit of tea and sympathy.
Harry didn’t want to turn up unannounced and find out they’d not seen Ed, as that would just worry their folks.
He dug out his phone and dialled Ed’s number as he turned away from the door.
The faint strains of the obnoxious tune his brother used as his ringtone stopped Harry in his tracks.
Facing back towards the door, he bent forward and pushed the letterbox up with his free hand.
The jangling tune grew louder. Ed’s phone was inside, that much was clear, but there was no sign of life beyond that.
If the phone was there, Ed couldn’t be far away…
Harry released the letterbox and walked around the side of the cottage.
Though the front of the building had been dark, there was a light on in the kitchen.
He tried the back door, found it unlocked and let himself in.
The first thing he noticed was his brother’s phone on the table, the second was the thick beach towel hanging over the back of the chair nearest the door.
He cast a sceptical glance over his shoulder down the length of the garden towards the gate that opened out on to the beach and then up at the sky.
The wind had got up noticeably in the past hour and clouds scudded across the pale blue overhead.
Frowning, Harry closed the kitchen door and strode down the path.
The sight that greeted him was enough to steal his breath.
On days like this it was impossible not to understand the power of the ocean, the danger inherent in such an uncontrollable force.
It was a living, breathing thing, a roaring monster that would devour the unskilled and unwary without hesitation.
Enormous waves rolled towards the shore, each topped with wild white horses that crashed on to the sand, leaving bubbles fizzing and popping in their wake.
He paused just before the high-water mark and cupped his hands to his brow to scan the horizon.
A couple of bright scraps of colour caught his eye – kite surfers whipping across the bay.
Harry had tried it a couple of times, but it had been too much for him.
He’d never developed a taste for speed and didn’t even drive.
He’d had a few lessons, but kept getting his left and right mixed up and trying to learn the theory had been a nightmare.
Too embarrassed to ask for help, Harry had cancelled the lessons.
His feet took him everywhere he needed in the village, and there was a bus to Port Petroc often enough and train connections from there.
They had a buyer who bid on their behalf at the fish auction and everything else was delivered to the door.
As his eyes adjusted to the ebb and flow of the waves, dark shapes nearer the shore came to his attention: surfers taking advantage of the conditions.
Even in a wetsuit they had to be freezing.
Harry shivered. Give him a hot day and smooth seas and a paddleboard and he was in his happy place.
One of the shapes glided closer and Harry admired their form as they skimmed towards him on the white, foaming crest of a wave.
About twenty feet from the beach, the figure lost balance and vanished beneath the water, the board carrying on to be washed back and forth on the water’s edge.
Harry ran down, managing to grab the end of the board without getting his feet soaked through as Ed surged up through the pounding surf, whooping and laughing like he hadn’t a care in the world.
So much for him feeling bad about what Liam said earlier.
Ed waded through the shallows and flopped down on the sand at Harry’s feet. ‘It’s glorious out there, bro. You should grab Matt’s board and come out and join me.’
Frowning, Harry turned his head to look back over the water. ‘He’s not with you?’ It was madness to surf alone at any time, but especially in conditions like this when the weather could turn at any minute.
Ed propped himself up on his elbows. ‘He went to Aunty Helen and Uncle Ryan’s for lunch.’ Harry opened his mouth to speak, but before he could say anything Ed had hopped up to his feet and had a finger all but jammed under Harry’s nose. ‘Don’t start, okay?’
‘I didn’t say anything,’ Harry protested.
‘You didn’t need to, it was written all over your face. I know you and the others think otherwise, but I’m not a complete idiot. I stayed close to the shore.’ Ed bent down, snatched up his board and marched up the beach towards the cottage.
The softness of the sand underfoot exaggerated Ed’s limp and an old, familiar pain stabbed at Harry as he hurried to catch him up. ‘I just wanted to see if you were okay. I’m sorry about this morning.’
Ed stopped short and glared at him. ‘Sorry for what you two were saying, or sorry that I overheard it?’
Well, damn, he had him there. As much as Harry didn’t like that they’d hurt Ed’s feelings, there was no denying the truth of what Liam had said about him either.
Ed’s lip curled in an ugly sneer. ‘Yeah, that’s what I thought.’
He would’ve walked away if Harry hadn’t reached out and grabbed his arm to hold him.
‘We’re just worried about you, bro. You’re lurching from one bad relationship to another, losing jobs you can’t afford to.
I haven’t heard you say a word about your degree for months, other than you started seeing that girl in your class and now you’ve dumped her too!
That’s going to make things really awkward for both of you. ’
Ed gave a hollow laugh. ‘Wow, you’ve really been keeping a tally of all my mistakes, haven’t you? Do you keep a little chart on your wall? It’s been zero days since Ed last screwed up.’
This wasn’t going at all how Harry had expected it to.
‘Of course not! I don’t care about you making mistakes, Ed, I only care you’re hurting yourself in the process.
’ Stepping closer, Harry released his hold on Ed’s arm and rested his hand on his shoulder in a comforting gesture.
‘Talk to me. Let me help you with whatever’s going on. ’
His brother shook him off. ‘Help me, how? Are you looking to take the blame again so you can nurse that martyr complex of yours?’
Harry staggered back in disbelief. ‘What the hell are you talking about?’
‘You know exactly what I’m talking about.
’ Ed slapped the side of his damaged leg to emphasise his point.
‘Do you have any idea how guilty I felt when I woke up after my operation to find out you’d taken the blame for us being on the rocks that day?
How much worse it was when Mum and Dad sent you to live at Ma and Pa’s as punishment? ’
‘They weren’t punishing me, they just couldn’t look after me, manage their jobs and spend the time they needed to at the hospital.’ It had felt like punishment at the time, but Pa had explained it to him when he’d found Harry crying in his room one day.
‘I needed you, and you let them separate us. Just like you did when we were at school.’ The hurt and anguish in Ed’s voice wasn’t that of a man, but of a child who’d nursed a pain for too many years.
‘They had to separate us, Ed. I was holding you back, we both know that.’ He stepped closer again and put his arms around the man who was the other part of his soul. ‘You did everything you could to help me, and I’ll always be grateful how hard you tried, but it wasn’t fair on you.’
Ed struggled for a moment but Harry gripped him tight until Ed eventually yielded and slumped against him. His arms came around to hug Harry and his voice sounded wet, even muffled against Harry’s shoulder. ‘But it wasn’t fair on you either!’
Harry held him tight as his brother wept.
No, it hadn’t been fair that Harry had been born with a brain that processed information differently.
For a long time, he’d thought he was broken, that there wasn’t a decent future for someone like him, but the right people had intervened in his life at the right time and shown him the truth.
He had skills and worth and value. It broke his heart that Ed had carried his bitterness around for so long, hiding it behind an endless stream of jokes and banter. Harry should’ve seen it sooner.
He patted Ed on the back. ‘I’m fine, bro, I promise you.’ He pulled back so he could look into a face that was a mirror of his own, apart from a telltale scar bisecting one eyebrow. ‘You have to try and let this go, okay?’
Ed shook his head. ‘Not until I tell Mum and Dad the truth.’
A lead weight settled in Harry’s gut. ‘What good could that possibly do now?’ It was twelve years ago and a traumatic and unhappy time for them all. Raking over those coals would only stir up trouble as far as Harry was concerned.
Ed stiffened and pulled away. ‘See, you just can’t help yourself, can you? Stop trying to protect me, okay?’ Ed stormed up the garden path and into the cottage, slamming the back door behind him. Harry was close enough to hear the key click in the lock.
Planting his hands on his hips, he huffed out a long, frustrated breath. At least he knew now what was eating at his twin. Whether talking to him had made things better or worse, though? Harry tilted his head and looked up at the sky as if the answer might be found in the clouds.
A cold, fat raindrop hit him square in the forehead, followed by another and another and then a solid curtain of freezing rain hammered into him, soaking him to the skin in seconds.
Harry cast a quick glance at his brother’s door, but it remained firmly shut.
Ducking his head to protect his face from the worst of the icy, stabbing downpour, he headed home as fast as his feet could carry him.