Chapter 26
Chapter Twenty-Six
I Want - Wyatt
I’ve never felt this way before.
I find it hard to look anywhere but at Grace.
She’s asking me a million questions about my scrimmage today while she sips her Diet Coke—declaring this place has one of the “crispest” Cokes she’s ever had and that makes this restaurant A-plus in her book—and she’s interested in what I’m telling her.
Not vaguely interested. Not nodding like she knows what I’m talking about when she really doesn’t and just wants to impress me.
She wants to know what tonight meant to me. If she doesn’t understand something I’m saying, she stops me and asks a question.
Grace really cares.
I watch the way her big blue eyes lock on mine, the tilt of her head, the thinking expression I’ve come to recognize that crosses over her face when she touches the G on her necklace. When she’s confused about something, there’s a light crinkle that forms in the bridge of her nose.
It’s cute. She’s cute.
And for now, she’s mine.
“Enough about hockey,” I say. “Tell me about Cove Style. When do you start?”
Her face lights up with pride, and I can feel that same feeling within me, too. I’m proud of her. I know there was stiff competition for staff positions, and she got a coveted one.
“We have a staff meeting next Tuesday night,” Grace says, smiling as she swirls her straw in her glass.
“I can’t wait to get started. This could be the start of something new for me, you know?
I’m going to write about things I’m interested in.
I’m going to learn how a magazine works and I’ll have pieces for a portfolio.
This could change everything. I’m going to take advantage of this and soak up everything I can. ”
I smile. She furrows her brow. “What?” she asks suspiciously.
I lean back in the booth seat across from her. “You light up when you’re excited about something.”
Now the tops of her cheeks burn pink, as if she spent too much time in the sun. “I know, I can feel it wanting to burst out of me,” she confesses. “Sorry.”
“Wait, I don’t want you to be sorry. I mean it as a compliment. I like to see you like this.”
“Thank you,” she says. She takes another sip of her soda. “I’ve got to go to the restroom. I’ll be right back.”
I nod at her, and she slides out her side of the booth. I watch her move across the restaurant, and I feel my throat grow dry.
Damn, she’s gorgeous.
At first, that’s all I saw in her. She’s always been gorgeous. Then I heard what Rob did to her and I felt awful for her.
But now? As I’ve gotten to know her? I like her.
I really like her.
She’s smart. Funny. Fun. She’s genuine and she cares and I can’t stop thinking about her.
But … Grace didn’t sign up for anything else.
We’re fake dating for a couple more weeks and then this ends.
She’ll continue her life. Rolling her eyes at Kaitlyn at Phi Mu Phi.
Finally getting to do the choreography for a new artistic swimming routine.
Writing articles for Cove Style and seeing her name in print.
I won’t be there for any of those things.
Because she won’t be mine anymore.
I ball up the wrapper that my straw came in and try to fight the heaviness that washes over me.
I stop my thoughts. What do you really want? I ask myself. Are you ready to take on what dating someone would mean? The exclusivity? The time commitment? Juggling a girl along with hockey and school?
None of that ever appealed to me before. I wanted an occasional hookup. I kept my focus on hockey, taking my dad’s advice literally. Hockey, keep grades up enough to be able to play, have fun with the guys but not too much. Nothing should take away from the game.
But that was before I met Grace.
Now everything I thought I wanted isn’t what I wanted at all. I like being with her. I like making her laugh. Hearing her voice. Getting snaps from her throughout the day.
And God, I want to really kiss her. To kiss her until her lips are swollen and her face is pink from where my facial scruff has seared against her skin. I want to know what she tastes like. I want her hands in my hair and down my back while I grip her hips, moving her closer to me so—
“I’m back,” Grace says. She slides back in the seat across from me. “You look lost in thought.”
She has no idea how lost I am.
Our server swings by our table, putting down our orders and sparing me from responding to Grace’s comment. Grace ordered a cheeseburger and fries—saying she was going all-in on the celebration dinner for tonight—and I grabbed the brisket burger. Truffle fries for both of us, of course.
As soon as the server walks away, Grace grabs a fry and pops it into her mouth. “Oh my God, these fries are good.”
“Yeah?” I ask, taking a bite of my burger.
“Yes. I’m so glad we’re here,” she says, going for her burger next.
Me too, I think, watching her. Me too.
“Are you still okay with me showing up to your practice at the gym tomorrow?” I ask, dipping my fry into some ketchup.
Her whole face practically radiates happiness, and my pulse quickens. I’m the one making her feel this way. Me. She’s happy because I’m the one who wants to be there.
“Of course. As long as you don’t think you’ll get bored during dry-land training.”
“Bored? Watching you train? No. I’m lucky I get to see you do it.”
Her eyes lock on to mine. I feel butterflies in my stomach.
“Okay,” she says. She pauses for a moment. “I’m glad you’re going to be there, Wy.”
My hand instinctively flexes on the glossy wood tabletop, itching to reach for her hand and lace my fingers through hers. I want her softness and her warmth.
I want her to be mine.
We continue our conversation through dinner, and I continue to wrestle with what I want. How do I ask Grace to take a chance on me? Do I do it? Or will that mess everything up?
When the bill comes, Grace snatches it off the table before I can even make a move.
“Gracie, no, I asked you to dinner, this is on me,” I insist.
She grins wickedly at me. “Does it bother you that I want to pay?”
“I’ve never had a girl offer to pay before,” I say, thinking about it. “But to be fair, I invited you. Therefore, I would like to pay.”
She appears to consider this. “Hm.”
“Hm?” I mimic.
“No. I’ll take this one. You can get the next one,” she says brightly, retrieving her wallet from her purse.
“Well, thank you,” I say.
“You’re welcome. Also, thank you for letting me be the first girl to treat you to something. You deserve it,” she says softly.
More feelings come to the surface, feelings I didn’t know I could have. Feelings I didn’t know I wanted.
Until now.
We leave the restaurant and I drive us back to campus.
The sun has set already, and the sky is dark, illuminated now by streetlamps and lights from homes and buildings we drive by.
Comfortable silence falls between us, and before long, we’re back on campus.
I easily find her car parked in the vacant aquatic-center lot and pull up next to her.
“That was fun. Thank you for asking me,” Grace says.
“I think I should be thanking you,” I say. “Thanks again for dinner tonight.”
“You’re welcome.”
My heart begins to hammer in my chest. I’ve thought about what I want to do, and I think I’ve come up with a good way to do it. I just need to say it.
“Grace, we need to talk about the last week of our arrangement,” I start off.
“My parents will be here for my first two hockey games. I don’t want to make it weird for you.
If you don’t want to pretend in front of my parents—and my dad will not like the idea of me dating you—I understand. We could end this part early.”
Her face completely changes. Gone is the happy, sunny expression, replaced by a look of hurt. She stares at me with those beautiful blue eyes, confusion swirling in them. “I see,” she says quietly.
Shit. She’s not getting this.
“No, you don’t,” I say quickly, shifting in my seat so I’m directly facing her. “Gracie. Listen to me. I thought about this. At first, I was going to ask you to help me set some new boundaries with my dad, to fake date in front of my family, but that’s too much to—”
To my surprise, she puts her hand on the door handle and jerks it open.
“What are you doing?” I ask.
She gets out of the car, then turns to face me. “I understand. You took me to dinner so you could wrap this up tonight.”
“What? Grace, no. Why would I ask to go to your practice if I wanted this to be over?”
She blinks. I can tell I got her on that one.
Then she shakes her head. “As my friend. You were being kind as my friend,” she says, her voice wobbling.
She pauses and clears her throat. “I understand. But I’m going to ask that you don’t do that.
Don’t come tomorrow. And let’s just say goodbye here. ”
Fuck!
“No, this is not—” I try again, but she won’t let me talk.
“Wyatt, thank you for everything you did,” she says, cutting me off.
“For handling that situation with Rob. For protecting me. I dragged you into a stupid situation, and you did it for me. You’re a good guy, and it’s time I ended this arrangement.
So it’s done. I’ll say it was a mutual agreement, we’re both too busy, et cetera.
But now—” Grace swallows hard, and to my surprise, I see tears in her eyes.
She blinks rapidly before continuing, her voice thick with unshed tears.
“But now I can believe there are good guys out there thanks to you. There will be someone who is worth it. So thank you for that, Wyatt. It means more to me than you could ever know.”
Then she slams the door and walks over to her car. “No!” I shout, fumbling with the seat belt. “Goddamn it!”
It finally releases, and I bolt out of my Jeep.
I sprint over to Grace, who has just opened the door to her SUV.
I reach out and slam it shut, causing her to gasp and her keys to fall out of her hand, landing on the pavement.
She spins around, and I immediately put my hands on her tear-stained face.
Her eyes widen in surprise. My heart thunders against my ribs.
I’m holding everything I could ever want in my hands.
All because I’m holding her.
“Listen to me,” I say urgently. “You’re wrong.”
Her eyes rapidly search mine. Desperate to hear something different than what she thought she heard a few seconds ago.
“Gracie, what I was trying to say was that it’s a lot to ask of someone. It’s too much to ask someone to pretend like that. But the thing is, I don’t want it to be pretend.”
She sucks in a breath. I swallow hard. “I want this to be real. I’ve never done this before.
I might be a complete F-minus boyfriend for all I know, but fuck it, I want to try.
I want to be the one who buys you Mini Eggs for your study breaks.
I want to see my girl cheering me on at games, I want to study with you, go to parties with you, go to your meets and cheer my ass off.
I want to watch TV with you, talk to you late at night and make you breakfast the next morning, but most of all, I want you to be mine. ”
And then I kiss her.