Chapter 20
Mags
To my surprise, the Langley family doesn’t want to interview Nik before the job starts. I guess they’ve been so busy vetting breeders that the small matter of a guard doesn’t concern them.
Their omission is our gain.
Since pack bonds can easily be sensed, there’s no point in trying to bill us as an unbonded pack anymore.
It simplifies some things but complicates others.
For instance, we all get assigned to the same room in the servants’ wing of the mansion, but because I’m playing beta, there’s no nest. Four full-sized beds for us, presumably to prevent distracting sexual encounters while we’re working out our contracts.
It’s a little disappointing to be without my nest for so long, but I keep reminding myself that I’m presenting as a beta; I don’t need a nest.
I can sleep in a bed by myself. I’m a big girl. Been doing it my whole life.
So why am I crawling into Nik’s bed at midnight on the first night?
Nik grumbles in his sleep, but his arms wrap around me almost instinctively. Contentment flows through the mate bond, and my body immediately relaxes.
So far, the suppressants have been doing their job better since I went through that brief heat courtesy of Dave Donnelly.
There might be something to this once-a-year thing, but I’ll never admit it to Nik or the twins.
I’d never hear the end of it, for one thing, and then they’d insist I take a week or two off every year just for some sex-frenzied heat that I can honestly do without.
I can totally do without the sex.
Completely.
One hundred percent.
Except my hand is creeping towards Nik’s cock like it’s on some urgent, life-or-death mission.
Sleeping Nik doesn’t seem to mind. He rolls onto his back, and his cock already juts upright in his pajama pants. All it takes from me is a little maneuvering of the fabric to release it, and a little light stroking to wake Nik up.
“You’re gonna wake the twins,” he whispers, with a cocky grin.
“The more the merrier,” I say as I wriggle out of my pants and ease myself onto Nik’s lap. “Maybe waking them up wouldn’t be so bad.”
Nik clamps a hand over my mouth and pulls on my hips, lifting me off him. I whimper into his hand, upset at his rejection.
“I feel your frustration, Mags, I really do—literally—but we can’t do this.
We’re on the job. That means behaving. Besides, if we go any further, the twins really will wake up, and it’s not fair to them for us to be having sex while they’re in the same room.
” He lowers his hand and stares intently into my eyes. “Understand?”
I scowl at him and let the bond transmit my irritation. “We’ll have to figure out the sexual logistics at some point. And, for the record, I’m not some prime cut of beef. There’s plenty of me to go around, and I don’t see why taking turns is a bad thing or unfair.”
“Would you like it if you woke up, and I was fucking one of those omegas I’m hired to protect?”
“That’s different!” Kip stirs a little, and I lower my voice. “You’re not bonded to them. You’re bonded to me, and I thought it meant you loved me.”
Ouch! Nik’s heartache ricochets through the bond, and it’s strong enough that despite our whispering, the twins both shoot straight up in bed, clutching their chests. Tears stream down their faces as they look at us in the light of the streetlamp outside.
“What the fuck, Mags?” they say in unison.
I shrink back and climb off Nik, straightening my PJs. “I didn’t mean it like that …”
Nik adjusts his own clothing and pulls the covers over himself. “You’ve got to start thinking before opening your mouth, Mags. I know you’re not used to relationships in general, but your words are hurtful sometimes.”
“Sure.” I grab a hoodie and tug it over my head. “I work my ass off to make sure we’re all taken care of, but God forbid I say the wrong thing.”
“Mags, now is not the time for a midnight walk. Even in this neighborhood, it’s dangerous.”
I don’t bother answering Nik. I slip out the door and down the hall, hoping that I don’t wake anyone else up. I don’t need that on my work record, especially not the first night.
When I get to the exit to the servants’ quarters, I hit a roadblock.
They’ve got keycard entry and exit. I left my card back in the room.
I can’t leave.
A card appears in my peripheral vision, and I turn to see Kip standing next to me in a similar getup. He swipes his keycard and opens the door for me. “I noticed you forgot something.”
“Aren’t you mad at me, too?”
We walk down the main hallway towards the garage, where my car is parked for the duration of our stay.
“Yes, and no. I’m feeling Nik’s anger and pain, so the bonded part of me is a bit pissed, but thanks to thirty years of experience with a twin bond, I can separate my own thoughts and feelings easily enough.
I know which parts are Nik’s and which parts are mine.
And I know that neither one of us wants you wandering around alone at night. ”
“So why you and not Kaden—or both of you?”
“I won rock, paper, scissors.”
I stifle a giggle as we walk past the guards on duty. They don’t seem to care that we’re up late or that we’re wandering the halls, but they do check our IDs before letting us by. When I ask for my car keys—a valet parked it—they flat-out shut me down.
“Sorry, Ms. O’Bryan, but we can’t let you take a car out. Your contract allows for walks in the gardens during your off-hours, but that’s it. You’re here until the Langleys’ daughters are done with their heats.”
Before I can even open my mouth to argue, Kip thanks them and turns me by the shoulders in the direction of the garden doors. “Come on, Mags. We can still go for a walk.”
A spike of disappointment hits me, and I can’t tell if it’s mine or Kip’s. This is going to get very confusing—and very irritating—if I can’t start separating my own emotions from those generated by the bond.
“How do you sort this shit?” I ask as we head into the gardens. A path made by bent willow branches leads through, so we follow that for a while until we come across a small stone bench.
Kip sighs and pats my knee as he sits next to me. “Can you tell the difference yet whether an emotion comes from me or Kaden or Nik?”
I scrunch up my nose as I try to think. “Sometimes? Like, it’s usually contextual. If I mouth off at Nik, then it’s obviously him. But if I say something that could potentially insult or hurt any of you, I have no clue.”
“Okay,” he says, slowly, “first suggestion, if I may?”
“Shoot.”
“Try not insulting, or hurting any of us, for a start. That should make the bad vibes less frequent.”
I shove him so hard, he falls off of the bench. He cries out as his palms get skinned on the paved stone in front of the bench, and I feel slightly guilty.
A bit.
“Okay, so that was your pain, right?” I ask, leaning over to look at him sprawling on the ground.
“That’s technically one way to find out,” he grumbles as he picks himself up. “Again, another way is to not hurt people. Then, even if you get the emotions mixed up, there are at least good feelings coming your way.”
I take Kip’s hands into mine and inspect the scrapes. They’re shallow, harmless, but thanks to the pack bond, I can tell they sting.
More guilt bubbles up from deep inside me, and since Kip hasn’t done anything to feel guilty for, I’m guessing that’s all my emotion. I lift his hands to my lips and kiss each palm, hoping to provide at least an emotional balm for the mild pain there.
Pride and contentment flow through me. Good emotions. Okay. “Yours?” I ask.
“A little. Some is through the bond from Nik. I think he’s glad you’re trying.”
“That’s cheating! How am I ever going to learn when there are always four minds in the mix?”
“It’s going to take time, Mags. You’ll get it. Don’t worry so much.”
“Meanwhile I’m breaking Nik’s heart every day.”
Kip gathers me in a warm hug and rests his chin on top of my head. “His heart wouldn’t break at the things you say and do if he didn’t love you in the first place. Give him time, give yourself time. It’ll all work out.”