Chapter 46
I sitat my desk clock watching. I am ready to go home. Arizona moves back home this afternoon and I am clocking off at three.
Two hours to go.
Me and Titus have avoided each other. I really thought Ari being in hospital would have mended our rift, but clearly not. He is walking round with a constant thundercloud over his head and it”s starting to annoy me. My fingers fumble with the buttons of my shirt before they”re clasped round the wedding band round my neck. I still have her birthday present in my desk at home, couldn”t find the courage to give it to her for some reason.
Kaleb breaks me away from my clock watching and smirks when he sees what I am playing with.
“Not ready to let go?”
I drop my hand and button my shirt back up.
“Never.”
“Fair,” he nods, stepping into the office. “I wanna talk to you about something,” he says, pulling out the chair in front of my desk and flopping down.
“Yeah?”
“I want to propose to Connie. Everyone is shacked up, well, apart from Nate.”
“Nate”s Nate, though. He could be married for all we know, and he wouldn”t tell us. He would be one of those that would elope to some exotic country and swear he dropped it into conversation.”
Kaleb laughs as he rubs his empty wedding band finger.
“You”re not wrong,” and I laugh.
“I just feel like I want to take the next step with Connie. We don”t want kids. We”re happy with our lives, but I do want her to be my wife. Titus is married, you”re married...” he pauses, “well, kind of,” he adds, smirking.
“Cunt. I am married.”
“Killian and Reese... and then there is me.”
“And Nate,” I throw in.
“Fuck Nate.”
“Harsh,” we hear Nate”s voice and Kaleb spins round to see Nate standing in the doorway.
“Hey, come in a minute,” I say and he does, hands tucked in his pockets, dirty blonde hair messy as always, the odd curl showing.
“Yeah?” his brows raise.
“Kaleb wants to ask Connie to marry him.”
“Really?” he sounds shocked.
“Yeah, why wouldn”t I?”
“Dunno, she doesn”t really seem the married type?”
I watch as Kaleb sits a little taller.
“Well, neither do you.”
“No?” Nate cocks his head to the side, and I know he is playing with him.
“No.” Kaleb rolls his lips and I can see him thinking over Nate”s words.
“I mean, has Connie ever said about wanting to get married?”
He pauses for a moment, Kaleb”s eyes on me before they move back to Nate. “Don”t all girls want to get married?”
“Nope,” me and Nate say in unison.
“Well, fuck.”
“Maybe you need to have a little chat with Connie before you ask her such a question.” Nate gives a solid nod and turns on his heel before stopping at the threshold. “You shouldn”t just assume these things,” he winks then disappears back to his desk.
“So...” I click my fingers, leaning back in my chair, pushing back. “What you going to do?”
“No idea.” he sighs, rubbing his chin, his stubble scratching at his skin. “Fucking Nate.”
“Fucking Nate,” I shake my head from side to side.
Silence rolls through my office, and I take a moment to look at my older brother, by only a couple of minutes may I add. Similarities mark both of us, but we”re so different. Eyes slightly different shades of green mixed with hazel, skin tone similar, my lips a little fuller than his. Kaleb has grey scattered down the side of his thick, dark hair. I haven”t had a single grey. Both have stubble. I could probably grow a beard, he couldn”t. His would look more like bum fluff. He never had stubble when he met Connie. He was cleaner shaved. Killer jaw. High cheek bones. Handsome. Like me. But I was a little rougher around the edges, maybe?
“Looking forward to having Ari back?” Kaleb interrupts my thoughts and I blink a couple of times.
“Yeah, house has been too quiet.”
“Make the most of it, soon you”ll have two screaming babies to fill the silence.”
“Yeah,” I half laugh, eyes drawn to the picture on my desk of me and her in the little white chapel. Both smiles wide, eyes glistening with what I think was happiness, maybe a little alcohol and to think my babies were already inside of her. Madness.
And yes, they might not be mine. But I don”t care. They”re mine. They will always be mine.
“You seem really happy.”
I puff out my cheeks.
“I mean, I could be happier. I”m basically celibate and the woman I love is pushing me away but hey, I”m happy,” and I laugh, no idea why. Nerves? Realization?
“You? Celibate?!” Kaleb roars.
“Wish I was lying. Haven”t been with anyone since Ari walked out. Desperate...” I pause for a moment and duck my head to look through my office window to see if Titus is sitting at his desk. “But no, no one but Arizona.”
“Well fuck,” he runs his hand over the stubble on his chin and whistles.
“Are you happy?” I sit up, elbows on my desk.
“Extremely. I never thought I would find love... but then she came into my life like a damn wrecking ball,” he laces his fingers together and chuckles softly.
“The best way man.”
“Did Ari wreck you?”
I sigh. It”s not heavy. It”s not light. It”s not happy and it”s not sad. It”s just a sigh.
“Completely.”