Chapter 13 Family at My Bedside
When I woke again, I was already back in the bedchamber of the Eastern Palace.
Second Elder Sister and Fourth Elder Brother sat at my side.
I thought my eyes had fooled me, until I touched their warm hands.
My Elder Brother and Elder Sister were both still alive.
I could not hold back. I began to cry.
Second Elder Sister held me gently and comforted me.
Fourth Elder Brother wiped my tears as well.
They told me to let it go, as if I were weeping for the child I had lost.
How good. In this life, they would never have to go through that pain again.
When I finished crying I asked them, "Why did you come back early?"
Fourth Elder Brother told me Li Yuankuo had sent people to fetch them.
From the capital to Jinling and back took more than ten days, and I had only been unconscious for one night. Li Yuankuo had clearly brought them back for another reason.
I thought he had learned of that secret law, and so he had called my family back to stand behind me.
Li Yuancheng came to see me soon after.
I wept in his arms until my voice broke.
The act still had to go on.
He held me. "It was my fault. I failed to protect you. Recover your health. Our child will come back to us."
I slowly put my tears away.
That day would never come again.
And now, I needed him to save Xu Liuyi.
There were only two ways to save Xu Liuyi. Either Li Yuancheng stepped down and yielded to another, or he seized the throne by force.
He had been emperor. He knew the taste of power. I was sure he would choose the latter.
Only he still seemed to hesitate. After seizing power, he would carry the names of disloyalty and impiety for the rest of his life.
So I gave him a push. "That day this subject saw Imperial Father treat Xu Liuyi poorly. Could it be that Imperial Father still resents her being a Tribute Woman of Chen? Would he harm her?"
Then he would think of my death in the last life. If he did not save her, Xu Liuyi would meet the same end as I had.
Soon enough, he secretly summoned his people.
The moment I heard him say he would stage a palace coup, my heart still went dull with pain.
I ached for the self who had died so wretchedly at nineteen.
He was a man I had truly loved. So many days and nights of affection had not bought his protection.
Fortunately, in this life, at nineteen I could still pull myself from the fire.
After my body recovered, I went to pay respects to the Empress.
Suyue went with me. I used the excuse that I needed someone to help regulate my health, and had Li Yuancheng pardon her.
I told the Empress that Li Yuancheng was preparing to stage a palace coup.
The Empress sighed. "The emperor's throne was already in his pocket. For a woman of Chen he would actually stage a palace coup. It seems Heaven itself means to help my Li Yuankuo."
When I left, I went to see Xu Liuyi.
The Empress warned me that Xu Liuyi had gone mad. "She keeps saying you were reborn, that in the last life you were the one who died, and that now you are the one harming her."
I smiled. "A story from a storybook, and she pinned it on me."
The Empress said nothing more. She only asked, "Do you think my son can live a life of peace and ease?"
I performed a bow. "Imperial Mother, His Highness Prince Huan will surely live a long life."
She nodded, satisfied.
At Xu Liuyi's lodging she was guarded well. Dozens of palace servants and women physicians took turns watching her.
Her pregnancy was also stable. I heard she had beaten her belly several times and still had not been able to lose the child.
When she saw me she threw herself forward. "You planned all of this, didn't you? You were reborn too, weren't you?"
I stepped back. "I do not understand what Elder Sister is saying."
"Stop pretending. I will tell you. What is in my belly may not be a son. As long as I do not bear a son, I will not die."
"But Elder Sister, your belly looks pointed. It should be a son."
"Even if it is a son, His Highness the Crown Prince will save me. Xie Yuying, I made you die once. I can make you die a second time."
I looked at her rage and made a silencing gesture. "Elder Sister, a wish spoken aloud will not come true."
She froze. Fear slowly entered her eyes. She kept murmuring, "I want to see His Highness the Crown Prince. I want to see His Highness the Crown Prince."
She tried desperately to run out, but a palace maid covered her mouth and nose with a handkerchief. She slowly lost her strength and fell into sleep.
This place was sealed like iron, and the emperor had given his silent consent. Not even a mosquito could fly out.
Walking the long palace path, I felt a chill on my face.
I looked up. It was snowing again.
It fell thick and fast. In a moment the sky was packed with heavy flakes.
I closed my eyes. Ten years ago on this day, I had bled out and died.
Now I was still alive.
To be alive was good.
When I lowered my head, I saw Li Yuankuo standing at the end of the palace path.
I had heard that day he had been wounded protecting me and Li Yuancheng, and that he had cut the assassins down to the last. Not one was left alive.
Snow had settled in a layer on his cloak. The cold wind lifted his hair.
For a moment, I seemed to see a shadow of Li Yuancheng on him.
Restrained, yet allowing no resistance.
Then I thought I was imagining too much. They were blood brothers. Of course they looked alike.
I thanked him. "Thank you for saving me last time, Prince Huan. Has Your Highness's wound improved?"
He answered, "It is nothing. How are you?"
"I am well too."
I moved to leave. He turned aside to let me pass.
After we had walked far, Suyue said softly, "His Highness Prince Huan is still standing there."
I did not look back.