Chapter 14
MATVEI
“You’re going to wear out the floor if you keep pacing like that.”
Evgeny leans against the door frame of my study, his massive stature taking up the entire space. His dark eyes follow me as I pace the knotty pine hardwood, my fists so tightly balled my knuckles burn.
So does the place where the bullet grazed me, but at least it stopped bleeding.
“Who the fuck thinks they can come for us like this?” I slam my fist onto the desk, scattering papers across the floor.
Evgeny remains silent, watching me absorb the rage.
I turn, pinning my right-hand man with a glare. “She should never have been a part of this. Damn it, Evgeny. I gave her my word she would be safe.”
“And your word is all you care about right now?”
Evgeny’s expression has softened, a rare flicker of empathy igniting my anger further. He’s waiting, letting me burn through the fury. He knows rage is sometimes just fear in disguise.
I rub my face, take a shaky breath, and look to the darkness outside the window.
As soon as the wedding was finished, that would be it.
I would be done. Her words echo in my head.
I felt an odd pang when she said them and I don’t know why.
This was never a relationship; it was a deal with some sex on the side. What about this is bothering me?
“She stays alive,” I growl to the darkness and Evgeny’s reflection in the glass. “You hear me? Guard her like you would guard me. No mistakes. No lapses. Until we figure this out, until it’s finished, she’s to be treated as family—no less.”
“She’s strong, you know,” he replies. “Not many could have held it together after all that, but she recovered well.”
He’s right, she did. To panic when you’re shot at is customary, especially for those who live outside my world.
But she bounced back quickly, at least on the surface.
The fear faded from her eyes, and she pulled herself together enough to argue with me about staying here, where she knows she’s safest.
Sonya has seen many sides of me. I saw the look in her eyes when she realized who I was in Prague. I saw the fear tonight when she saw the monster come out with Samson. She witnessed me kill someone. At many points in the short time I’ve known her, I expected her to run.
Though Sonya has shown fear, she has always returned, even dared to approach me, to stop me. No one but Evgeny does that and gets away with it.
My life has always consisted of constant action, forward movement toward my goals. Until I met a woman on an airplane who slipped beneath my skin and now I cannot get her out.
I don’t know where this feeling is coming from, but she is not dying on my account.
“The contract ends tonight,” Evgeny points out.
“Do you think I care about that damn contract? Whatever’s going on is no doubt because of me, whether she was their original target or not.”
“You know she was,” Evgeny says quietly. If only he weren’t so good at calling me out on my bullshit.
I know I should end our association tonight as the contract states, but I can’t seem to let her go. Sonya doesn’t deserve to be dragged down into the darkness that is my world. She deserves to live free and without worry. She deserves to be protected.
I’ve done terrible things. I’m the villain in this story. But that doesn’t mean I want innocent blood spilled. Certainly not Sonya’s.
Evgeny watches me with the patience that comes from years spent witnessing men unravel from the inside out. He sees how my hands shake, how my eyes linger on the doorway, checking for Sonya’s silhouette.
“She’ll never see me any other way,” I mutter, my voice dropping to a near whisper. “I’m the monster in her fairy tale. She deserves better than this world.”
Evgeny takes a slow breath. “Maybe she does. But that doesn’t mean she sees you the way you think she does. Not anymore.”
I bristle and turn away. “Enough. She’s a tool, Evgeny. Nothing more. Once this is over, she’ll be free to go. I won’t keep her in the dark.”
He watches me closely, the subtle cracks in my words revealing truths I won’t admit. “Whatever you say, Matvei,” he replies flatly.
I know he doesn’t believe me. I’m lying to myself, and I’m definitely not fooling my oldest friend.
I roll my shoulders, straighten my jacket, and stride past him, my face a mask of cold professionalism. He follows silently, his presence intimidating and reassuring all at once.
Sonya looks up as we enter the foyer. Her eyes flicker between the two of us. “Can I go home now?”
I cross the marble floor and stand over her with an air of command. “Yes,” I reply, my voice brusque, hiding the concern gnawing at my insides.
Sonya’s shoulders sag in relief.
I hesitate, wanting to reach for her, to offer comfort, or maybe just to reassure myself that she’s still alive and breathing. Instead, I step back, motioning for Evgeny to take my place.
“Evgeny will escort you home and stay with you.” Sonya opens her mouth to argue but stops when I hold up a hand. “That’s my condition for letting you go home. We cannot know if there will be another attempt on your life, therefore, I will have someone with you who can protect you.”
I expect Sonya to attempt to argue again, but she takes a deep breath and nods. “Thank you. I appreciate that.”
“And I’ll be stopping by your apartment every chance I get. This goes beyond the contract now. I gave you my word I would keep you safe, and I’m seeing it through. Do you understand?”
“Yes.” Sonya doesn’t look away from my gaze even though I know it’s intense. “As long as you let me get my work done.”
“I promise.”
“I’m holding you to it.”
We gaze at one another for a long moment, and I nearly ask her to stay. Not only for her safety, but because I want her with me.
“Thank you again for protecting me,” she says. She stands on her tiptoes to kiss my cheek before turning to leave, Evgeny her protective dark shadow.
I stand in the doorway until the headlights from the car arc across the entryway and fade, leaving me alone in the dark and quiet of the house. I know my guards are around, patrolling the property. But for a brief moment, I feel completely alone.
I’ve always been alone in my world, and for all that I’ve done, I always will be.
Sonya’s light doesn’t deserve to be snuffed out by my darkness.