Chapter 16
SONYA
“Sonya?”
My boss is looking at me. My brain is so foggy today, and I have a hard time pulling the words together.
“It’s possible,” I say, looking down at the brief on the table in front of me. “But we have to be really careful with this one.”
“We have a few resources,” my coworker adds. “Maybe I can call in a few favors with some judges. There’s no guarantee, though.”
“We have to do something,” another coworker insists, as if we all don’t know that already.
“We all agree on that,” I sigh, staring at the paper I’ve notated on within an inch of its life as though that will somehow make it give me all the answers.
Annoyed, I absently take another bite of my sandwich. I usually like these team meetings, working with others who have different ideas or see things from an angle I haven’t considered. But today, I’m not feeling it. I just want to be holed up in my office, get my work done, and go home.
For several days, I’ve felt like I’m coming down with something. Maybe it’s just the change in weather. Whatever it is, it’s making me miserable.
On top of that, Matvei has been gone for a couple of weeks, and I’ve been feeling his absence. He told me he was going away on business, his message vague and short. Since then, I’ve heard nothing. Evgeny won’t tell me anything more than that, either.
I’ve been ignoring the nagging feeling in the back of my mind, stopping myself from looking at my phone every five minutes like I’m a moonstruck teenager.
But in the darkness of night, when everything is quiet and still and I’m the only one in my bed, a little voice whispers, He’s grown tired of you.
He had his fun, got what he wanted, and now he’s moved on.
I tell myself I should be happy if that’s the case, that I should be pleased the Russian mob boss has moved on and I can go back to my everyday life and forget all about him. I no longer have to worry about being dragged down by his darkness.
Except I feel sick at the thought of never seeing Matvei again.
Truly sick.
My stomach twists, and bile rises in my throat. I barely manage to bolt out of the room and make it to the bathroom before I’m sick, heaving into the toilet. The door bursts open as I’m slumped against the wall, gasping and shivering. Evgeny looms over me, concern on his face.
“What happened?” he demands.
I don’t have to tell him because I end up showing him. I’m sick several more times until the only thing coming up is bitter bile.
“Are you ill?” Evgeny hands me a damp paper towel. I rub it against my face and the back of my neck before wiping my mouth off.
“It certainly looks that way,” I mutter, annoyed by the question.
“When did you start feeling sick?”
I shake my head but don’t answer. I breathe through my nose, trying to hold off another round of vomiting.
“Is she okay?” I realize my coworkers are all hovering beyond the door, their faces anxious.
“What did she eat?” Evgeny demands, stalking toward my boss, who backs away until his back hits the wall. “Is anyone else feeling sick?”
“Everyone’s fine. She was fine until she got up and ran to the bathroom.”
“Where did you get the food?”
“From our usual spot.”
“What do you mean by ‘usual?’ Could someone have messed with the food because they know your routine?”
“I suppose so,” my boss says. “But I know these guys. I’ve been ordering from them for years. They wouldn’t do anything like that.”
“We’ll see,” Evgeny growls as he stalks into our conference room. I’m standing up now, feeling a little better, though still shaky and sweaty.
“They wouldn’t do anything!” my boss calls again.
Evgeny stalks back toward us, the small crowd scattering. “The food smells fine,” he says. “But I’m still taking you to the hospital.”
“The hospital? All I did was throw up. People do that.” I protest as his enormous paw of a hand clamps around my wrist. “I have work to do.”
Just as he ignored my boss, Evgeny is ignoring me. As he pulls me out of the office, I look back at my coworkers. My boss calls after me. “Maybe it’s better if you get looked at. I’ll cover what I can.”
I realize no help will be coming from them.
At the hospital, I’m whisked into a private room. Obviously this isn’t the first time Evgeny has brought someone to them. I don’t want to know the details.
The doctors check my vitals and take some blood, then leave me to rest until the results come in. I hear Evgeny in the hallway not so subtly telling the staff the results should be rushed. About thirty minutes later, I hear a commotion outside my door.
The Volkov pakhan storms in like a vengeful angel ready to murder the first person who keeps him from my side.
His expression is so forbidding that it does little to calm my nerves.
A security guard trails along to ensure Matvei isn’t actually here to harm anyone, though I’m unsure what the guard thinks he’ll do if the Bratva boss attempts anything.
When I see Matvei’s face closer, I realize he’s not angry. Pure, unadulterated panic shines in those deep blue eyes.
“Sonya.” He locks onto me like a missile seeking its target, crossing the room in two long strides. “Are you okay? How are you feeling?” He stands next to my bed, his hands opening and closing as he tries to center himself.
“I’m fine. I wasn’t feeling good earlier and I threw up. Evgeny overreacted and practically dragged me here kicking and screaming.”
“He said you might have been poisoned.”
I roll my eyes. “I was not poisoned. I just wasn’t feeling well.”
A doctor raps on the door as he enters the room. “You’re looking a little better after those fluids,” he states.
“Yes, I feel better, thank you.”
“Do you know what’s wrong with her yet?” Matvei asks bluntly.
The doctor looks between us before returning his gaze to me. “I do, but I’d like to speak to my patient in private.”
I shake my head. “Just go ahead and say whatever you have to say so he knows I’m okay and he can stop hovering.”
“Are you sure?” the doctor asks. I nod.
“Well, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Your blood work all looks good except for your vitamin levels. I’d like to see them a little higher in a pregnant woman.”
I feel like all the air has been sucked out of the room. “A what?” I ask, my voice nearly a whisper.
The doctor levels his gaze at me. “You’re pregnant. You didn’t know?”
I shake my head, then suddenly realize I haven’t had my period in two months. “Oh my God.”
The doctor looks from Matvei to me, realizing he’s just dropped a huge bomb. “I’ll step out and give you two some privacy.” The door closes behind him with a soft click.
Matvei sits on the edge of my bed. “You really didn’t know?”
“No! Though looking back, a few things make more sense now.” Tears suddenly start streaming down my face. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for this to happen. You don’t have to stay. I can do this on my own.”
Matvei pulls me to him, quieting my spiral. “Why the hell would you think I would abandon you and our baby?” His voice is strained as he pulls me closer.
“I haven’t seen you in almost two weeks. I haven’t even heard from you and I thought maybe you got tired of me. It’s not like there was anything more between us other than sex anyway—”
Matvei pulls away quickly and cups either side of my face. He stares into my eyes with such startling intensity I have to force myself not to look away.
“I would never just leave you like that,” he says softly, intently, and I believe him. “Never. And I sure as hell am not going to abandon you to raise our child alone. I’ll be part of this child’s life in whatever way you’ll have me.”
Instead of answering, I ask a question. “So you didn’t disappear because you were done with me?”
Matvei’s brows furrow. “Why would you think that? I told you I had business to attend to.”
His annoyance irritates me. “Yes, you did, but if I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard that from some guy who ended up ghosting me I’d have enough for a nice coffee. You didn’t call, you didn’t text. Nothing but radio silence. What was I supposed to think?”
“I don’t ‘ghost’ anyone.” Matvei sounds offended that I even suggested it. “You’re supposed to take me for my word. I was in Moscow and then New York when Evgeny called me. I chartered a plane back here to get to you.”
The father of my baby kills people. He is a crime lord. That’s what he does for a living.
My mom might have gotten herself involved with the Irish mob, but I’m pretty sure getting pregnant by the top Russian mob boss in the city—one even the cops are afraid of—beats her mistake by a mile. I’m so lost in my racing thoughts I don’t hear Matvei speaking.
“Sonya.”
“What?”
“You’re coming to stay with me. No more staying in your apartment. I want you where you’ll have twenty-four-seven security beyond Evgeny. My security.”
“No. Nope. No way.” I shake my head. “We’ve already been through this.
I’m not going to be forced into whatever domestic situation you think this is—” yet another thing we have to talk about, because we’re definitely not in an actual relationship “—especially now that I’m having a baby. I’m not just a vessel, you know.”
“No one said you were.” Matvei’s lips thin, a line forming between his eyes because he’s… perplexed?
“Look, I’ve seen this happen over and over again. Women lose themselves in being a mother. I don’t want to be treated like glass because I’m having a baby. I have work to do. Important work. I’m not going to wander around your giant mansion after giving up my independence.”
“I need you to stay with me so I can keep you safe, Sonya,” he says again, though not quite as commanding as before. “The place where I can do that best is at my house, under the watch of my men.”
“Your number two has been on my couch or outside my door for weeks,” I remind him.
“I know, yet somehow those damned flowers still made it to your door,” he says. “No, I want you where I know nothing and no one can get to you. I’m not trying to cage you, Sonya, I’m trying to keep you and our child safe.”
I want to argue. I should argue. I hate how imperious Matvei is being, that he thinks he can order me around like this.
But I know this isn’t just about me anymore.
I have to care for someone else, my job from now until forever.
I also know this child’s well-being will be best protected within their father’s sphere of influence and power.
“Okay, fine.”
I can tell by the look on Matvei’s face that he expected more of a fight from me. It takes him a moment to reply. “Okay.”
He’s clearly surprised by my response, and I wonder if he’s as blown away by the news of the baby as I am. Does he even want to be a father? Or does he see this as a duty, like protecting me?
I hope these glimpses of the human being behind the monster are real and not just a figment of my imagination. Because otherwise, I’m not sure what I’m going to do, especially because I’m starting to realize I really like this man, even if what lies underneath still terrifies me.