Chapter 21
Chapter Twenty-One
Chelsea
“So that went better than I thought.” Dominic is napping in his room, and Adam and I are settled on the couch. Him with a beer and myself with a glass of wine.
It’s been a very emotional day, and I’m glad to be able to just sit and unwind right now.
“I told you they’d love him. And you.” He knocks his knee with mine and gives me a small smile.
“I know you did. Your parents are amazing people, I shouldn’t have had any doubts,” I shrug. “What I did though, I just couldn’t imagine them, or anyone, wanting to see me again.”
His parents are the most loving wonderful people I have ever met.
I’ve never known a mom or dad who put their kids’ needs and wants before their own.
Hell, they even put the neighborhood kid's needs and wants above their own.
It only makes sense that Jackson came home and fell in love with their only daughter.
If anyone could love Francesca like she deserved, it was Jackson. I saw it when I moved here, the few times he was with her spending time with the family in between playing in the NFL. He could deny it all he wanted, but I saw it. And I wanted to be loved like that, too.
Adam saw his love and was not the least bit happy about it. We had many a conversation about how he didn’t like the way Jackson looked at his sister, or the things he said; little questions he asked about her.
Let me tell you about Adam Frances Casanova.
Adam is a perfectionist. He’s protective and loyal to a fault.
He’s an alpha if I ever saw one. He’s dominant and takes charge of every situation.
What’s worse is that he thinks being in charge is his role and doesn’t allow anyone to question it.
His brothers and sister have all fallen into deferring to him.
Even Jackson steps to the side of him, to an extent.
Those all sound like great traits but let me tell you. Those are also his faults. His downfall in relationships. He has communication issues and uses avoidance tactics like it’s his job.
In the beginning of our relationship, he did everything. Ordered for me. Opened doors. He strived to be the best boyfriend. He needed to be the best boyfriend.
But it slowly bled into every other aspect of his life.
He had to be the best boss. When we graduated and decided to move back to Christmas, he worked his ass off to be perfect for his dad.
For the company. He took his role as leader very seriously and wanted to ensure he succeeded. If he succeeded, so did everyone else.
He had to be the best big brother. I watched as he slowly began to put himself in charge of everything his siblings did or needed. It was like they couldn’t make a move without consulting him first. The co-dependency he manufactured between them all was hard to stomach.
I couldn’t stand to see him stress himself out over their bad decisions, decisions that had no bearing on his life.
I tried talking with him, but he’d brush me off.
So, I would back away from him and our relationship.
I’d immerse myself in work and not answer his phone calls.
It’s why I’d leave. I’d go see my sister for a few days.
His need to control was too overwhelming.
So, I did what I could do to control the situation.
I bailed time and time again. I don’t think he understood my reasoning, we never talked about it.
We fought about his time and where he was spending it, but bailing on him was my immature way of making him realize he can’t control me and doesn’t have to maintain control over everything.
He doesn’t have to be in charge. We are capable of living our lives on our own.
His take charge attitude with his siblings rectified itself when they began forcing their own lives to be front and center.
When they stood up to Adam, things evened out.
Yes, Adam still checks in and does everything they ask.
Heck, he does things they don’t ask. I don’t know how the last two years have been, but I do see the changes around the family.
Jackson made his move. Tom made his move.
Billy, well, Billy is always making moves. That guy. Maybe Adley should work her magic on him.
We’re still sitting in comfortable silence before I break it.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Always.”
“Is it weird that this feels normal? Physically being here with you.”
“Physically was the only thing we were good at all the time,” he smirks and I nudge his shoulder. He continues, so quietly I almost miss it, “I missed you.”
“You missed me physically?” I question with a slight tone, trying to diffuse this moment that he quickly turned heavy.
“Well, yeah,” he says sheepishly. “I missed all of you.” His eyes flare and he wets his bottom lip.
Oh, fuck.
“I missed you, too. And I’ll say I’m sorry once again, even though it’s just words.
” I take a deep breath. “You know the one thing Dad taught me, leave them before they leave you. He wasn’t a father, and I had no right taking anything he did or said as gospel.
Of course, as I got older and my responsibilities changed, I realized only I could break that generational curse. ”
I don’t want to bring up Grace right now. I have to tell him what she said, and I need to know the truth from him. I know at some point I have to come to terms that they were together while we were apart. That she waited and moved right in on him the minute I gave her room.
“Look at us communicating.” I lean forward and place my wine glass on the coffee table in front of us. Then I sit back sideways on the couch, my knee touching the back, and I face him. “So, now what?”
He looks nervous, which is uncharacteristic for him, but continues, “So, my brothers had the idea that I should date you. We should, you know, get to know each other again.”
“Yeah? Taking advice from them these days? That’s a change.”
He raises a brow at my sarcasm, but widens his legs, touching my knee in the process. That was a habit he did when he began to get turned on. It was like he needed more room to grow, if you catch my drift.
And grow he did.
God, everything this man does is sexual. I almost forgot just how much I loved his body near mine.
“So, yeah I think it’s a good idea. I figure we should go out, talk, see how we’re going to make this work.”
Focus, Chelsea Jo. What did he just say?
“Wait. Make what work? Just the other day you told me you didn’t know if you could do ‘us’.”
“Yeah, but now I think we should. That’s my son. I need to be here for him.” He sits up, perching on the end of the love seat, placing his beer next to my wine glass.
“You can still be here for him without being with me.”
“That may have worked for you for the last two years, but it’s not going to work for me.”
His dig hits the mark. And it hurts.
“Adam—”
“No, Chelsea, we have to be a family. It’s what’s expected.”
“Expected? Oh no. You’re not going to just say it and expect it to happen. Just because we’ve had five minutes of communication doesn’t mean we’re going to work.”
This fucking guy. This is exactly what I thought would happen when I told him I was pregnant. He would stay because he felt obligated, not because he was ready or wanted me and the baby.
“Why did you come back then?”
“For Dominic! It was the right thing to do! Adam, we weren’t working before I left, why do you think we’ll work now? We have added pressure now. Navigating a relationship with a child is a hundred times more grueling, even for those that are stable with each other.”
“Why weren’t we working, Chelsea?” When I stay silent, he continues. “Dom needs two parents. So that’s what we’re going to give him.”
Leaving Adam has made him spiral back into ‘Take Charge Adam’. Now I’ve returned and he’s desperately trying to gain control. I see this conversation for what it is. I just can’t stop my mouth from letting him know it.
I stand and grab my glass and his bottle and move to the kitchen. I need to pace. I need to do something to keep myself from reaching out and choking him. Turning to him again, I say, “Here we go. Was wondering when TC would come out.”
“Who?”
“TC. ‘Take Charge Adam’. Come on, you’re honestly telling me you have no idea about the names?”
“What names?”
“AAA sound familiar? How about the Principal? Bobby Knight?”
He stands and follows me into the kitchen, but I move away as he gets closer. There’s a weird push and pull with us. I’m not afraid of Adam, not at all, but I also know I shouldn’t be near him right now. My body is begging for him, but my heart says pump the brakes, bitch.
“What the fuck are you talking about Chelsea?”
“Your siblings,” I grin. “And Jackson. And me. We all have little nicknames for when controlling Adam shows up. They’ll kill me for telling you, but I can’t believe you didn’t know.”
He’s fuming. His eyes are on fire. If there is one thing Adam hates, it’s not being included or not knowing what’s going on. There are no secrets unless Adam is involved. I kind of like that I have this over him right now.