Chapter 4 #2
Leon slides his tongue between my lips and kisses me as if his life depends on it. Like I’m the oxygen he needs to survive.
He lets out a growl when his cock presses harder against my center, making me tighten my grip on the ends of his shoulder-length hair and push his scruff-covered face into mine, knowing I’ll get stubble rash.
I don’t care; none of that matters right now as he turns my shitty day into something wonderful.
Unbothered, he doesn’t seem to mind as I press our noses together, making it hard to breathe. We twirl our tongues around each other, gasping for air, panting from desperation as I experience the most incredible pleasure I’ve ever felt, and all from his kiss alone.
If he can soak my panties from just a kiss, I bet sex with Leon must be mind-blowing.
He pulls back breathlessly and begs, “Tell me to stop.” Then he kisses across my jaw and down my neck like he just can’t help himself.
I wish I could demand he get off me, but my brother is so close and could walk in at any moment, but I want Leon so bad, it’s hard to care.
I also want to ask him whether I’m just another quick fuck to him, and what would happen if we gave in to our desires?
What then? Nothing? Everything? And what about our friendship that’s teetering in the balance?
I have so many questions, yet I can’t bring myself to ask any of them because his intoxicating touch overrides my sense of reason.
“I don’t want you to stop. I want you.” More than he can ever imagine.
He inhales a sharp breath at my admission. “You’re fucking beautiful.” Leon licks, then nips the spot behind my ear that could have me coming in seconds if he keeps up his hip thrusts.
He grunts when my pussy grinds against him, his hot breath dusting across the skin of my arched neck before his lips find mine again, and he pants like a wild animal into my mouth as he wraps his tongue around mine.
I whimper when he digs his fingertips into my hips, sending a wave of slick heat deep in my core. He moves his hips back and forth, dry humping me, teasing my clit against his jean-covered cock and the fabric of my own jeans.
“I want to fuck you so bad,” he growls into my mouth when I rock my needy hips and grind them harder into his, back and forth, to chase my own release, digging the heels of my boots into his ass.
I can’t believe this is really happening.
Scratch that, I can’t believe I’m setting myself up for a fall and allowing myself to be pulled into his hypnotic orbit again.
It’s as if he’s enchanted me, and as much as I want to stop this, I don’t have the power to do it.
I’m a pushover when it comes to Leon, and I hate myself for it.
Yet, here I am giving myself to him, offering myself to him like a sacrificial lamb, and that only ends one way… me having my heart ripped out.
Stop this now, Erika.
“I can’t fuck you in the equipment room, Erika.”
“You can’t fuck me. Ever,” I counter with the harsh truth finally. We both know it.
My words make him stop moving, stop kissing me, stop time, stop everything, as if they hit him like a cold slap in the face, jolting us back to reality.
The strength to put an end to this madness has me flattening my hand on his chest, pushing him off me.
I unlock my legs from around him and leap off the table, clutching one hand to my heart and trying to catch my breath, raking my other hand through my hair.
“We shouldn’t have done that. I need to go.
” I shouldn’t be here with him. Mild panic rises in my throat, my fingers digging into my scalp so hard it hurts.
I’m nothing special and mean nothing to him.
I’m his best friend’s little sister, and he vowed never to cross the line we just did. And yet we have. Again.
I’m an idiot.
Guilt crushes the elated mood I was in just moments ago, my pulse pounding with both heat and ice all at once.
Leon places his hands on his hips and drops his head, letting out an almighty, heavy sigh. “You’re right. I shouldn’t have done that.”
“Why did you?” I bite out my question between clenched teeth; my tone laced with annoyance.
“Because I wanted to kiss you again.”
So I wasn’t dreaming that night a year ago. It was real. We kissed.
“You’re all I can think about, Erika.” Leon’s voice sounds pained as he steps closer to me, his chest moving fast, his jaw twitching in frustration. “You live in my brain rent-free.”
I’m a fool to believe him, and that can’t be true. “What you really mean is, you like the fact that I’m off-limits and that makes it exciting for you.” That’s how it feels. It’s been months since he’s even looked at me in the way I want, and I stopped myself from believing he really wanted me.
What he doesn’t realize is that my love for him is endless; he doesn’t feel that way about me, or he would have spoken to my brother to get his permission to ask me out on a date.
That’s not what he wants though. It would be sex without emotion for him, and I would be yet another name on his bedpost. Wouldn’t it?
I don’t even trust my own thoughts anymore.
“That’s not true, Erika. It has nothing to do with danger or living life on the edge.” His answer is firm and clipped.
“Oh, really?” I scoff. “So why haven’t you mentioned that kiss before now?
It’s been a whole year. And if I am all you can think about, tell me, is that between Susie, or Laura, or who was it the other night you went home with?
Oh yeah, Frankie.” Screw Frankie and her perfect double D’s.
My vision tunnels, anger taking over my senses.
“Erika…”
I flash him the palm of my hand to stop him.
“Just don’t, Leon.” My hands tremble uncontrollably.
Leon has no idea how much he means to me, how he lives in my heart, and won’t find a way out.
I wish he would pack his things and leave, but somehow he’s taken up permanent residence.
“I know how you work, Leon. You like girls; any type will do.” God, now that I’ve said it, I feel dirty and used.
“Don’t treat me like a fool, Leon, and for once, just be honest with yourself and admit you’re a fuckboy who will never settle down and who doesn’t give a shit about girls’ feelings. ” Did he ever care about mine?
The shadow of his cheeks hollow and pulse as his jaw tics, once, then twice, as if he’s trying to control himself from saying something he shouldn’t. “Is that what you really think about me?” he finally asks, and I hate how much hurt there is in his question.
“It’s what everyone thinks about you.” That’s the truth. Every headline is about who he’s seen leaving a nightclub with or spotted cozying up to. It sickens me and turns me a color that doesn’t suit me: green.
Envy swims around my stomach like a shark on the hunt because I hate it when he hooks up with those girls.
“Well, that stings coming from you.” Leon stuffs his hands into his pockets and readjusts his cock that’s most likely deflating as fast as my heart.
My guilt spikes tenfold because I shouldn’t have said that. We’re supposed to be friends, and friends don’t say shit like that to each other. It’s too honest and raw.
“I’m sorry,” I say, meaning it.
“You should go.”
I hold my breath for a beat before whispering, “You want me to leave?”
“I think it’s best that you do,” he replies in a bitter tone.
I take a step toward him, dread skimming over my skin. “Leon, I––”
“Just go.” He turns his back on me, the air turning frosty.
I worry my bottom lip before summoning the courage to ask, “Is that what you want?”
“Yes.”
He’s never been this cold with me before, and I don’t like it. I cover up my mild panic with, “Okay. I guess if we leave separately, then no one will suspect anything.”
“And we wouldn’t want that now, would we, Erika? I mean, no one wants to be seen with a fuckup and a fuckboy.”
“I shouldn’t have said that.” All I’ve ever wanted to be is the girl in the picture, standing next to him with hearts in my eyes, but to him, I don’t exist in his world. Overlooked.
Sounding hurt, he mumbles, “But you did. Just go.”
Nervously, I run my sweaty palms down my thighs. “Are we still meeting for lunch tomorrow?” I ask hopefully, already knowing the answer because I can feel him pulling away from me.
“I can’t make it anymore.” He pulls his phone out of his pocket and busies himself, practically ignoring me.
“Okay, well, I guess I’ll see you next week instead?” I walk toward the door and wrap my hand around the handle.
“I have plans next week, and the week after that. You know with Louise, Susie, Kim, Frankie… I think you get the idea.”
“Leon… please, I didn’t mean to hurt—”
“Erika. Fuck,” he shouts much louder than I think he means to, “will you just go?”
Bile climbs up my throat, and tears prick behind my eyes.
I never intended to hurt Leon. Why did I have to ruin everything?
Without saying another word, I give him the space he needs.
Opening the door, I check the corridor both ways to make sure it’s clear before stepping over the threshold, and I whisper an inaudible, “Bye, Leon.”
I’m not surprised when he doesn’t reply.