Chapter 23 #2
I look down into the water between the small gap between us, and my cheeks heat when I stare for a minute too long at Leon’s erection.
He notices me gawking and smirks, humor shining in his eyes. “Whatever pace you choose, that’s your decision. But if you’d like to go faster, I would support that as well. It’s completely your choice, beautiful.” His firm tone boosts my confidence.
I wiggle in his arms, the deep ache in me now needier than ever. He worked me up in seconds, which usually takes me forever to feel anything, as if he already knows my body.
Running my hands down his back, I explore the bumps and ridges of his firm muscles beneath my shaky fingers as the persistent need between my legs throbs on.
His face turns serious; it’s intense. I know him so well that I can tell something is weighing heavily on his mind. I can almost hear the cogs turning, ticking like a clock inside that big, beautiful brain of his.
Leon walks us slowly toward the vast semi-circular steps of the pool and sits me down on the marble that feels warmer than expected against the skin of my ass.
When his brows dip, I know something is bothering him, then he finally says, “I need to get something off my chest.”
I nod, giving him the green light to share.
“In case you’re wondering, which I know you have been because I know you, Erika.” Kneeling between my legs on the step, he rests his hands on my thighs. “I haven’t seen, spoken or heard from Sage in over two years.”
I begin to understand his concern because he’s right, I’ve been desperate to ask him about Sage.
This morning, I went from feeling relaxed and calm, to on edge the instant I came face to face with her.
Their relationship was in the past. But Sage is so cool, with a cool name, and she’s pretty.
I hate her.
No, I don’t.
Of course I don’t. I don’t even know her.
I don’t like myself for feeling this seething, lethal envy that’s grown throughout the day from a tiny seed into a giant man-eating plant, like the one from The Little Shop of Horrors.
Try as I might, thoughts of them together have kept sliding into my brain as I imagined Leon fucking her as her long tan legs tangled around him.
It makes me feel sick, and yet, I want to know everything.
No, I don’t.
What I really want is to experience Leon’s piercing and stamina for myself.
I’m jealous of Sage because she knows him carnally, when all Leon and I have done is kiss, because we are taking things sloooowwww… unless… I say otherwise.
Being good feels terrible right now. When I want to be bad, so very very bad. With Leon. Only Leon.
“I haven’t slept with anyone since Sage left.” Leon’s words catch me off guard. “No dates, no hookups. Nothing. Not because she meant something to me, it’s just that I stopped wanting that lifestyle a long time ago.”
Shaking his head slowly as mild panic flickers in his eyes, he says, “My body count, as you know, is high, and this might sound like a weak excuse, but I did it to help me forget you, Erika. It wasn’t spiteful; it was simply a way to drown out the noise and silence the pain because you were, are, and always will be everything I ever wanted, but not someone I could even consider having.
Trust me when I say this: I wish I had never slept with every girl who batted her eyelashes at me, but I can’t rewrite those chapters of my life.
I was a total jerk for using those girls, and I don’t like the person I used to be. ”
I stay silent as he shares his troubling thoughts. “I’m sorry for all the times I hurt you. I didn’t know you were watching so closely or even noticed.”
“I saw,” I admit, recalling each girl he left parties, nightclubs, and the arena with after a game, piercing my already shattered heart more deeply than a dagger could.
He reaches up and runs his thumb over my cheek. “Even if you can’t forget, can you ever forgive me? I know it was a long time ago, but the other day you mentioned the puck bunnies along with all the other crappy decisions I made.”
“I forgive you. Because we weren’t together, Leon.”
“We are now. Unlike you running away from your wedding, my reputation is almost impossible to run away from.”
“Hey, that’s a low blow.” I jokingly punch his shoulder to soften the seriousness of our talk.
But he’s right about the speculation. The tabloids never leave him alone. The last headline I saw in the gossip columns accused Leon of getting cozy with a new woman watching an Eagles game when, in reality, it was his cousin visiting from England.
“I was once a boy who only thought with his dick; I’ve grown up a lot since then,” he says as if I didn’t already know that.
Focused, dedicated, and a workaholic, it turns out he hasn’t even dated or had sex with anyone in two years.
He hasn’t just changed; he’s completely turned his lifestyle around.
In a silly friendship moment, I would usually high-five him after he shared his news of abstinence, but now that we’re dating, it’s not just bad timing; it’s absurd of me to do that.
Softening his features, his vulnerability is spoken aloud for my ears only. “I want what you want. To feel something with someone special.” His soft words hit me hard; the same ones I said when I jumped into his car only a week ago.
So much has happened in seven days.
“I feel something with you. I always have,” I admit, my voice is barely above a whisper.
“Actually, that’s not true, I don’t just feel something with you, I feel everything, everywhere, as if all my senses are heightened.
And you make my heart do this fluttering thing I’ve only ever read about in books.
” I blow out a breath, feeling free and alive, and I watch his panic visibly shift into what looks like relief.
His lips shape into a curve as if understanding what I’m explaining. “The same thing happens to me with you.”
“We’ve wasted so much time.” It’s incredible to finally leave the friend zone and pursue what we’ve always desired.
“We hid our feelings for far too long.” But now we’re unlocking parts of ourselves and our concerns, discovering gold inside, and hitting the jackpot. Together.
Leon wraps his arms around my waist and leans in. “Thank you.”
“For?” I don’t understand.
“For loving me unconditionally,” he says, looking shyer than I have ever seen him.
“I might have some conditions.”
His nostrils flare, and his shoulders stiffen, almost bracing himself for my terms.
Tenderly, I run my hands through his dampened locks and softly say, “In addition to asking you to look after my heart, I want us to make a promise that from this moment on, we start being honest with each other. No more hiding how we feel.”
The corners of his mouth slowly lift as he exhales a sigh of relief.
“I promise, and in return, I will love you so hard you’ll finally understand the meaning of true, everlasting, unforgettable, and irreplaceable love.”
“I like the sound of that.” Warm and fuzzy has never felt so good.
Leon cradles my face with both of his hands.
“Your heart is safe with me.” A worry line etches across his brow.
“I know I’m not good enough for you. You’re this super awesome doctor, saving lives every day, and I’m just a retired hockey player turned sports agent with a shitty reputation that I can’t seem to shake. ”
Is that how he really sees himself?
I open my mouth to reassure him that his words couldn’t be further from the truth, but he stops me, pressing his finger against my lips.
“But I promise I will make you happy. Every day. You have my word,” he says with his whole chest.
Any doubts I have disappear into non-existence.
This moment, right now, is unforgettable.
This isn’t just a fling for him; he’s serious, and I need to reassure Leon that he’s everything I could ever wish for and need in my life.
“You may not be perfect, Leon, but neither am I. Regardless, you’re perfect for me.
” I lay my hand over his. “You’re the whole package, and you fill my heart up so full, it makes me feel unstoppable.
” I can’t believe he would think he wasn’t good enough for me. It’s the furthest thing from the truth.
Our foreheads kiss when he wraps his hand around the back of my neck and pulls me close. “I’ve loved you for so long, Erika. I don’t know what it feels like not to be in love with you.”
Those butterflies that only happen when he’s around take flight in my stomach again.
“Kiss me,” I say cheekily, my voice full of cheer, the sun feeling warmer and looking brighter than before.
Granting my wish, he presses his mouth to mine and stays still, suspended in time, connected, touching but unmoving. It’s softer, gentler, and more tender than I could have ever imagined, sharply contrasting with his hard, muscular frame.
As if gravity forgets its place and the balance of my universe shifts a little to the right or something, I know he will make good on his promises.
I pull back slightly, disconnecting us. “I might want to move things faster, Leon.” I put forward daringly and seductively, causing him to groan loudly as if in pain and struggling with the decision to either follow me or stand by his one step at a time decision.
“Fucking tease,” he mutters under his breath.
“Oh, I know I am.”
How long can we resist?
By the looks of how hard his cock is and how wet I am, not long.