Chapter 13
Ariana
Eric kisses how I imagined I’d be kissed, how men in films kiss, how men in romance books kiss. Not that I’m some great expert, but the handful of times I’ve been kissed before are nothing in comparison to this one.
His hands caress my body through the cotton material of my clothing. I feel like I’m on fire. I want more, so much more. A nagging thought begins to surface in the recesses of my mind as his hands skim along the exposed skin of my abdomen. I’m a virgin. He has no idea. Will he not want to do this with me? Shit. I should say something, but I don’t want him to stop.
My thoughts temporarily stop as his finger trails up under my top and traces the underside of my right breast. I let out a moan when he palms my entire breast in his hand.
I feel a need building between my legs, a throbbing sensation that I need to alleviate. I rub my pelvis against his thigh that’s lodged between my legs. He grips my breast a little tighter, a little rougher and I like it.
I feel myself building and climbing. I’ve never had a man make me come before, just me and my trusty vibrator that Katia bought me as a gag gift a few years ago.
Eric doesn’t shy away as I unabashedly grind against his leg, seeking relief. He presses his leg harder against my core as if he knows exactly what I need. His thumb grazes my nipple and then he pinches it between his thumb and forefinger. That’s all it takes. It’s too much and not enough all at once.
I cry out his name into the silence of the room as I fall over the edge into a bliss that I’ve never felt before. He continues his motion until my body releases, and I relax into the mattress. And then Eric goes completely still.
I force my eyelids open and find him staring down at me. I can’t read his face. Is he regretting this? Does he want more? Is it now when I tell him that I’m a virgin? I swallow because I know what I need to do. I have to share it with him.
“I need to tell you something…” I trail off as the heat rushes to my cheeks and I squeeze my eyelids closed.
He doesn’t move. I don’t even think he’s breathing.
“I’m a…” I trail off again, keeping my eyes closed out of total mortification at admitting this.
“Look at me, Ariana,” he says, his deep voice rumbling above mine.
My eyes open on command at his demand. His gaze is so intense it’s hard not to look away.
“You’re a virgin?” he asks, his face softening just a fraction when he says the dreaded word.
I nod. “Yes,” I squeak.
He sighs and leans back, running his hand through his hair. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have…I should have guessed. I’m sorry,” he says as he climbs off the bed and stands to the side, slipping his boots back on his feet where he must have kicked them when climbing into the bed.
“Eric, it’s OK. I swear. It’s not weird like that. I just haven’t…my boyfriends and I just never got to that point. I’m not like saving myself for something special. It’s not a big deal,” I stammer. I’m desperate for his touch again. I need his hands on my body.
He gives me a stern look. “Ariana, it is a big deal. You should want your first time to be special. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have kissed you.”
“But I asked you to. This isn’t your fault. I wanted this,” I state as I motion back and forth between us. “Don’t you?” I add.
He swallows. “I would do anything for you, Ariana. But you deserve more, better. You deserve things I can’t give you.”
I open my mouth to say something, but he shakes his head a little. “I’m sorry. I wish I was different,” he says and then he walks out of the room and then the house, leaving me sitting in the bed alone, confused, and needy as fuck.
* * *
Eric has been gone for hours. I’ve caught small glimpses of him here and there as he does chores outside.
I grow bored. I nap. I watch a film on television. I nap again. As the sun starts to go down, I hear him in the kitchen, and a short while later, he brings up a tray with soup, bread, and lemonade. He sets it on the bed and takes the one from breakfast.
“Do you need anything? How is your head?” he asks, giving me a small smile that doesn’t reach his eyes.
I want to shrink away and disappear. That’s it. He’s officially rejected me. Katia has texted me twice today, but I haven’t replied. I’m too embarrassed. God, maybe I should just go home with my tail tucked between my legs. Surely I can’t stay here. The absolute horror of going back home to my father and admitting defeat is too much for me to consider at the moment. Maybe we just pretend nothing happened. We go on working like it’s all fine.
“I’m fine. I should probably go back to my house,” I state as I get out of bed.
“No,” he says sternly as he steps forward with the breakfast tray still in his hands. “You should rest for one more day.”
I roll my eyes. “Eric, I’m fine. This is all overkill. I have a little bump on my head. I’ve rested. My ankle is nearly back to normal. I’m fine.”
“Please, stay,” he replies. “Please, Ariana. I…just for one more night. I’ll feel better if I know you’ve gotten through the weekend without any more symptoms.”
I press my lips together to keep myself from speaking. Why the hell does he want me to stay here? He’s made it clear that kissing me was a mistake.
“Plus, there’s a storm coming in and that guesthouse sometimes loses power. It’ll be safer in here in case we have to go to the cellar.”
My eyebrows shoot up. “What do you mean?”
He sighs. “I mean if there’s a chance of a tornado or something. The guesthouse doesn’t have a cellar. And that bathroom over there has a window. It’s not safe in a bad storm.”
I want to groan but somehow I manage not to.
“Fine,” I grumble as I inhale deeply. I smell the chicken soup and suddenly I’m famished. I glance over and realize he has left a small sandwich on the side table. He must have brought it for lunch while I was napping.
“Please eat,” he encourages with a nod. “I’m going to get things cleaned up before turning in for the night. If we get a storm tomorrow, the farm will be closed for the day. So, I’ll need to spend the morning and afternoon feeding animals and making sure they stay safe.”
“I can help,” I offer.
“Nope. No way. It’s too dangerous,” he says. “I’ll go get more of your things for you.”
“Can you bring me my computer? Oh, crap, and feed Barry?” I ask.
“Of course.”
He leaves again and I begrudgingly eat the soup he’s left. I want it to taste bad because I feel bad, but it doesn’t. It’s delicious, just like everything else he cooks. I glare at the wall in front of me. Barkley rolls over and pants. I had almost forgotten he was here.
“Hey, buddy,” I say as I reach over and scratch his head. “What are we going to do?”
He makes a moaning noise and flops back onto his belly, looking up at me with big eyes.
“Yeah, I don’t know either. I just hope I didn’t ruin everything,” I state as I finish my soup. I lie back on the pillow and stare up at the ceiling, hoping some sort of brilliant idea will come to me, but instead, I fall back asleep, again.
* * *
When I wake this time, it’s to rain. I can tell it’s morning. The tray and sandwich are gone. There’s a bagel and a coffee in their place. My bag sits on a chair and I see my computer sticking out from it. There’s a note on the nightstand.
Ariana –
Went out to feed the animals and make sure the farm is ready for the storm. We are closed today. There might be bad weather this afternoon. I left you some food. I have chili in the crockpot. Please help yourself.
~Eric
I eat the bagel. He must have gone to Elisha’s café this morning. I pick up my phone and see that it’s nearly eleven. Damn. I guess I needed to sleep.
I grab my laptop and get back to work on the social media posts I’ll be making in another two weeks for the grand re-opening of the new and improved farmstand and our lamb’s name. I’m busy with graphics when my phone rings.
Kimberly.
Ugh.
I decide to answer it. If I don’t, she’ll probably just get Dad riled up again.
“Hello,” I say as I continue to work.
“Ariana, dear. I was just seeing how your trip is going,” she says. I frown. Since when does Kimberly give a fuck about my life?
“It’s fine,” I lie.
“Oh, good. Your father was so worried the other day. I hear you have a job with a small business?” she says.
Did Dad put her up to this? Is this some sort of “gather intel from Ariana” call? I had texted my father about starting a new job remotely. He’s asked me a million questions, but so far, I’ve been able to deflect them all. I still have no idea how I’ll come clean about all of this, but that’s next month Ariana’s problem.
“Yep,” I say. Everything about her line of questioning has the hairs on my arm rising. What is this about? Normally, if we talk at all, it’s about something she needs from me.
“How’s Dad?” I ask, deciding to take control of this conversation ASAP.
“Oh, he’s good. He’s looking into a new real estate deal. Anyhow, tell me about your new job. How’s it going?” she asks.
I furrow my brows. “It’s fine,” I state because I feel like she’s prying for information.
“Oh? The company is a good one or is it just one of those struggling small businesses?” she asks as if she just asked about the weather.
What game are you playing, Kimberly? I think to myself.
“It’s doing OK. I mean, they hired me, so obviously, there’s money,” I state.
“Oh, of course, right. Well, glad everything is good and that you do all that hard work remotely. Tell Katia I said hi. Maybe I can talk your father into popping over there for a weekend?” she suggests.
“Uh, right. Yeah, well, we’re not sure where we are going next, so…” I trail off.
“I see. Well, have fun. Bye, Ariana,” she says and hangs up with a click. Leaving me wondering what the hell that was all about.
I immediately call Katia.
“Hey, how was his dick? Is it enormous? Was your first time good?” she asks. She’s, like, the only person on the planet that knows I’m a virgin.
“It didn’t happen. I think he got freaked out about kissing me. But whatever. Kimberly just called,” I say, my words coming out fast.
“Whoa! You didn’t do it?” she asks.
“Focus! Kimberly called. She said something about trying to get my dad to come see us,” I say.
“Oh, shit! Well, I can always get our yacht repositioned if we need to, you know…hide or something. I guess let me know,” she says. “And I’m sorry that…what’s his face…Eric? Didn’t want to pop your cherry.”
“Yeah, not as sorry as I am,” I grumble.
“Maybe you should just bail on this job and come over here. I can buy you a plane ticket,” she offers.
I look out the window and watch as Eric dumps food in Petunia’s trough. My mind races through all the employees on the farm, the folks in town, and even the animals. This place needs me. And I can help it.
Resigned, I sigh. “No. I have a job to do. And I’m at least going to stay and finish it.”
“OK, but call me if you change your mind,” she says.
“I will. And, Katia?”
“Yeah?”
“Thanks,” I say.
“You’re welcome. Love you!” she replies, and I smile. At least I can always count on my bestie.
“Love you too,” I say as I hang up and get back to making social media graphics because this work is something I can actually do.