Chapter 20
Eric
We’ve decided to keep our relationship to ourselves for a few more weeks. I know Ariana isn’t telling me everything. But if anything, I’m a patient man. I can wait. It’s only been a few weeks since we met and less than two weeks since we started, well, whatever this is between us. Neither of us is ready to put an official title on it.
I keep getting knowing looks from my staff. They see right through us, but Ariana doesn’t seem to notice. She’s busied herself with getting things set for our grand re-opening event. She’s already assured me that the farmstand only needs to be closed for four days for all the work to be completed. I find this completely unrealistic, but I’m doing my best to trust her.
Today, she’s been making calls and making something called teasers for our social media pages. I’ve watched her a few times through the large window in the office, her red hair tied up in a bun on top of her head. She’s adorable when she’s concentrating.
It’s hard not to have flashes of Tori. It’s hard not to think about how hard it was after she died. We had our entire life in front of us, and in an instant, it all was wiped away. But somehow, each day with Ariana, I think less about that time. I’m torn about it. On one hand, I feel guilty, as if not thinking about Tori every day is some sort of mortal sin. On the other hand, I find myself feeling happier every day, which leads me to feel guilty again as if I can’t be happy because she died.
I groan at myself as I sling some feed bags onto the bed of my truck.
“Need help, old man?” Kingsley asks.
“Very funny,” I grumble. “And no, I’m good.”
“If you say so. Hey, I was going to ask if I can take off the days we are closed. I sort of…was going to visit a friend,” he says.
I stop what I’m doing and turn to face him. “A friend?” I ask.
He shrugs. “Yeah, a few of us were going to stay at their parents’ beach house for a few days. It should be fun. I wasn’t going to go, but then if the farmstand is closed anyhow…” He trails off and shuffles his feet.
“Kingsley, you can take off whenever you want. You just need to let me know. By all means, please go and have fun,” I assure him.
“OK,” he says and then presses his lips together as if that will stop him from saying more.
“Out with it,” I state as I cross my arms.
“It’s just…I know things are tough here. And Tori would want me to help you. I just don’t want to let you guys down,” he explains.
Shit. Is everyone from Tori’s life dealing with guilt? I can’t even imagine what it’s been like for Kingsley. He adored his big sister, and she would be so proud of the man he’s become.
“Listen, Tori, first of all, would want you to go live your life and have fun. And second, I do too. There are other people we can get to work around here. Hell, Buck could even fill in for you for a few days or Joy. They have before when you’ve been sick. And I can do it too. Now…Earl, on the other hand,” I tease.
He laughs. “Ariana could do it too. She’s great. I’ve taught her how to do checkout and inventory. She’s a quick learner,” he says.
“So, then, there’s no guilty feelings, are there?” I point out.
He shrugs again. “I guess not. OK. I gotta run. I have to study for an exam tonight.”
“Good luck. I’ll see you when you get back,” I say.
He waves as he walks to his car, and I watch him drive down our new widened driveway. So much has changed in such a short amount of time.
I wrap up and bid goodnight to Earl and Buck and then Joy. I find Ariana still at her desk. Her fingers move rapidly on the keyboard making that clickity-clack sound. She rolls her head to one side and then the other.
I look around and notice Thor isn’t in his box. Frowning, I walk over to Ariana. I laugh when I see she’s wearing a hoodie backward and Thor is nestled down into the hood that’s on her front. He’s fast asleep, clearly the typing isn’t bothering him at all.
“He couldn’t stay in his box?” I ask.
“Nope. He was crying. So I swaddled him and then tucked him in here. I’ve seen some people online do it. And you know what? It works. The little guy passed right out. I think we should install a cat door for Pricilla. She keeps wanting out during the day,” Ariana says, her eyes still focused on her screen.
“I suppose I could do that. I used to have one for Barkley when he was younger,” I say as I look over at the door.
“Why’d you get rid of it?” she asks, stopping to look up at me.
“Barkley may have gotten out and then may have figured out how to unlatch Mooman’s door,” I explain.
She giggles. “Seriously?”
“Yeah. Mooman and Snuggles, both decided to eat all my good flowers. I wanted to murder all three of them. They’re lucky to still be alive after that. I didn’t have any flowers to sell for three weeks,” I state, my jaw clenching at how mad I was about it.
Ariana giggles as she pets Thor’s head. He leans against her hand. She’s a natural with the animals. They all seem to flock to her.
“How’s that voting thing going?” I ask as I lean against her desk, facing her and Thor.
“Oh, really good. We have…” She trails off as she clicks a few buttons on the keyboard. “Uh, three thousand and fifty-two entries.”
My eyes nearly pop from my skull. “I’m sorry, what?”
She smiles up at me. “That’s just the people that voted. Like ten thousand people saw that post.”
“How is that possible? We don’t even have three thousand people in Storyview Falls,” I state.
“Oh, they don’t have to be from here. They are from the city, and a few other small towns in the area, we had one from France and one from Brazil,” she says with a laugh.
“And what were the names again?” I inquire as I try to wrap my head around that many people caring what we name a lamb.
“Lamberta, Baa-berella, Sheepa Eastwood, Baabara Sheepsand, Lambagini, and April,” she says.
I chuckle. “Those were some great names,” I say. “Why’d we choose April?”
She gives me a pointed look. “Because she was born in April,” she says as if I’ve lost my mind.
“Oh, right. Dinner?” I add as I stand and stretch. She watches my abdomen as my shirt rises.
I lean down and press a kiss to her lips. Pulling back, I search her eyes. “I mean, I wouldn’t mind an appetizer,” I add with a smirk.
She groans and rolls her eyes. “I mean, if you’re hungry,” she says, winking as she sets Thor in his box. He’s already passed out and doesn’t move as she steps away and starts running down the hall. I chase after her while she’s laughing and trying to beat me to the bedroom.
I grab her from behind at my bedroom door and she squeals, but then the squeal turns to a moan as my right hand cups her between the legs.
“This is my favorite meal,” I whisper in her ear. And it’s the truth. I can’t get enough of this woman.
* * *
After my appetizer of tasting every square inch of Ariana, we decided to order a pizza. I made us a salad to go along with it and some garlic bread. Ariana insisted on a carpet picnic in the family room. So we’re semi-dressed, eating pizza, and talking. Everything about this is perfect, just like she is. But deep down, the longer I let myself enjoy this, the more nervous I get that I won’t be able to make it last, that I’ll let those feelings I keep hiding away take over.
“What’s wrong?” Ariana asks, pulling me from my thoughts.
I’m not remotely ready to talk about what’s actually bothering me, so I go the farm route instead.
“I have an offer for the farm,” I state.
It’s her turn to be surprised. “What?” she asks, setting her pizza down and wiping her swollen lips that were just wrapped around my cock an hour ago. I have to take a deep breath to focus.
“A company is interested in making a subdivision out here. They reached out to me a few days ago with a rather impressive offer,” I explain.
“Are you actually considering selling the farm?” she asks, her eyes wide.
I shrug. “I mean…I need to at least consider it,” I say because it’s true. It’d be bad business not to.
“But…we have the re-opening and all the other plans and what about your staff? This is, like…their whole life,” Ariana says defensively. I love that she doesn’t ask about herself but only cares about the others.
I reach over and place a hand on hers, squeezing it. “I know. And I wouldn’t even consider the offer until after this quarter. I want to see how we do with all of these changes. I’m hopeful, but I also need to be realistic. I could still keep some of the farm and land. I wouldn’t sell the entire thing, but it would provide capital to make what’s left better or at least float us for a while. Eventually, Buck, Earl, and Joy will retire, you know?” I point out, hating the words even as I speak them. I can’t imagine life without those three. They’ve been part of mine since I was a kid. They are more than employees and colleagues, they are family. I’m sure my father would offer them nice retirement packages, but so would I.
“I don’t think you should,” she states emphatically.
“Noted. I don’t want to, but again, I need to be realistic. This place…I love it, but it’s also a money pit. Something is always wrong and broken. I can keep throwing my money into an open fire here, or I can cut my losses and keep what I can,” I explain. Dad always taught me to try and separate money and emotions. I admit, I’m not great at it, not as great as he is. He once sold off some of the farm to another farm up the road to help us float through two bad years of crops. He could have paid for the losses, but he said it was bad business to keep those fields because they wouldn’t be good for planting for years and the other farm had livestock and could use them. On the other hand, though, this town is my home, and part of me wants to drain my accounts trying to keep a piece of it going as long as I can.
“I understand that, but please consider keeping it. We can keep coming up with more ideas. I’ll work on some,” she says, her eyes so honest and true. I love that she wants to help, and I hate that she doesn’t know everything about me. I should tell her about Tori and my past, but I need more time. More time to figure out if I can even be the man she needs. I want to protect her, but again, I’m left wondering if protecting her from me is more important than protecting her from anything else.