37. Luna
CHAPTER 37
Luna
Nothing was going right.
Parvati rang to tell me there was an actual shipping issue with the materials for the restaurant. We hopped on a quick call with the designer to figure out a workaround.
Then I got caught in an ungodly amount of traffic. Traffic in Manhattan was usually terrible and just doubly worse today for no apparent reason.
To make matters worse, I was about to take my therapy session from the back of the town car because I hadn't made it home in time.
Just wonderful.
“Could you maybe pretend you aren't listening to the conversation I'm about to have?” He’d already overheard so many things over the last two years, I doubted this would be any worse.
Rather than reply, Darnell just kept his face neutral as he stared ahead.
I'll take that as a yes…
I took a few deep, steadying breaths and pressed the join button.
I had emailed my therapist earlier asking if they had time to fit me into today and within minutes her office manager sent over the calendar item with the meeting link.
The second my doctor appeared on the screen I spat out, “I slept with him.”
I hadn’t even bothered with the usual safe word to kick off the meeting.
Dr. Wozniac blinked twice. “Tell me more.”
And where Faith would make it all lascivious, my therapist said it with a level of curiosity and a clinical need to understand that made it easy for me to spill all the beans.
When I finished, I huffed a breath, gasping like I'd run a marathon.
Her lips twitched, and I just knew she was trying to squash any semblance of a smile. “You need some water?”
I waved her off. “I'm good. Just happy to get that off my chest. I’ve been holding onto it for a few days.”
She nodded and wrote something down on that infamous notepad of hers.
What I’d give to get a peek at that journal.
“Now that you’ve had some space from the encounter, how are you feeling?”
My brows almost flew off my forehead. “Are we calling it the encounter now? I love that for us. Sounds fun and sexy and also a little mysterious.”
My doctor cleared her throat.
“Right…I'm feeling good. Like I want to do it again.”
“And when you imagine doing it again, are there handcuffs?”
“Kinky,” I teased, because the truth was I didn’t have an answer right away.
She frowned.
Tough crowd.
I closed my eyes, trying to envision us going at it again. This time Beck’s hands were on me, holding my hips, cupping my ass, holding my face. I sighed, imagining him threading his hands behind my head as he kissed me.
“Alright, save the full visualization for after our session.”
My eyes flew open. “ Riiight .”
Then I glanced around my laptop to check out the expression on Darnell’s face.
Still neutral, no look of horror or amusement gracing his face. I made a mental note to double his holiday bonus.
“I'm glad you're open to Beck. It seems like you’ve made incredible progress. The thing about progress is that it isn’t always a straight line. I want you to consider this as you move forward together. It might feel like one step forward…”
“Two steps back.” I nodded. “I get it. I’ll keep my expectations in check.”
Her head tilted to the side. “I want you to be brave and I want you to protect your heart and mind. That’s your homework.”
I exhaled, letting her words wash over me. It made me feel both lighter and happier. Like I was in control. That feeling of control allowed a calmness to settle over me.
Someone knocked on the car window, making me jump and sending my laptop crashing to the floor.
“Fuck,” I swore as I twisted to catch the culprit.
Alice was on the other side of the glass, her broad, gap-toothed smile greeting me. “Hurry up, the pizza’s here!” Then she darted up the short set of stairs leading to her brownstone.
“Well, that’s one way to end a call.” Sure enough, the sudden laptop closure ended my call with Dr. Wozniac. I shot her a quick message on my phone letting her know I was just fine using my safe phrase, then tucked the phone back in my bag.
I collected my things and got out. “Thanks, Darnell. I'll see you in the morning.”
“Night, Luna. You take care now.”
My body automatically has me moving towards my brownstone, although a small part of me wants to go directly next door. I decided to drop off my things and make my way next door through our secret passage in the backyard.
Alice must have known I would do that because the second I crossed over into their backyard, she popped her head out the French doors of their house and waved at me. “Hurry. Daddy said it's getting cold.”
Daddy .
Beck Bennet. Despite all the time we'd spent together, the man still made me feel like there were tiny acrobats performing in my belly.
I was a badass at business and needed to channel that energy into telling Beck I wanted him and only him.
In fact, it has always been him.
I wiped my hands down the front of my skirt which was a bad idea seeing that it was leather.
Then Bruce slowly sidled up to me. The dog might not be old, but he gave wise old pooch energy.
“Hi, sweetheart,” I cooed as I patted the top of his head. I made a mental note to call Harper to see how Pepper was doing. I couldn’t stop thinking about that pup.
Alice patted the top of his head. “He wants pizza.”
My eyes met hers. “Are you saying Bruce is trying to butter me up?”
She nodded in agreement, but her facial expression made it clear she didn't know the idiom. “It means he's being extra nice so that I give him pizza.”
Alice smiled. “Oh, yeah, then he's definitely buttering you up.”
My lips twitched and my gaze found Beck's and he held it, sharing that small moment.
“Can we please eat now?” Alice asked, exasperated.
Beck tilted his head. “Wash your hands. Pizza’s on the table.”
“Yes!” She ran down the hall and I heard a faucet turn on.
“She's excited,” I said on a laugh.
Beck put a hand out and lifted me to my feet, tugging me into his chest. Our bodies met.
“I'm excited too,” he said, leaning in close before planting a kiss behind my ear.
I sighed.
As Alice bounded back into the room, I stepped back, unsure where exactly Beck and I stood with our relationship. Those three little words I still needed to say were caught in my throat.
We sat together, the three of us, enjoying the pizza, as Alice talked about the new girl in her class who just moved from California and how fun it would be if she lived in California because that's where Disneyland is.
“We can go to Disneyland for spring break next year. How does that sound?” he asked his daughter while I watched, enamored with the two of them.
Alice shot out of her chair to hug her dad, forcing him to drop the pepperoni pizza he was about to take a bite of, the red sauce splattering everywhere.
I tossed a napkin at him, watching as he attempted to clean up the mess.
“How about you, Marks? Are you in for a trip to the happiest place on Earth?”
I choked on my pizza. The hacking and coughing lasted an exponentially long time, so long that Beck’s grin slid off his face and he started clapping me on the back. “You okay? Alice, get her some water, please.”
Alice reluctantly set down her slice and got me a glass of water.
“Thanks,” I said with a cough.
Alice and Beck remained waiting for my response. The little girl even started patting my back. “You should come with us. It will be way more fun than with just Daddy.”
Beck's eyes were tuned to me as I mulled over the invite. To be invited to something so far in the future, it could only mean one thing.
It meant…
Well, it meant everything. It meant this wasn't temporary and since I'd only lived and thrived in the temporary, I wasn't quite sure how to handle it.
He must have picked up on my internal turmoil because he didn't press me in the moment.
Instead, Beck reached over and began tickling his daughter. “What am I, chopped liver?”
Alice giggled. “You're fine, Daddy.”
Beck gave an exaggerated gasp. “Just fine?”
She squirmed out of Beck’s grasp and ran around the table. “Daddy no tickling at the dinner table. Someone could get hurt.”
He held up his hands in capitulation. “You're right, no more tickles….for now.”
Alice side-eyed her dad, as I worked through some shit methodically chewing each bite of pizza I was putting in my mouth not because I was hungry but because I wanted to keep busy.
Beck continued to eat, asking Alice questions about her day, effectively moving us onto the next topic of conversation. The way his gaze kept drifting back to mine, I knew he would ask about it later.
I just hoped I'd have an answer for him.
* * *
“She's finally asleep,” Beck said, as he plopped down on the couch next to me.
I turned to face him, lifting my legs to put them in his lap. He began absently rubbing my calves which were hurting from my most recent run. I groaned as his strong hands worked the muscles. “Please don't stop doing what you're doing.”
His deep chuckle settled over me, so I closed my eyes and leaned back against the edge of the couch, adjusting the pillow behind me for maximum comfort. “Does Alice usually require two dozen books before bed?”
I’d gone upstairs to help with the bedtime routine at Alice’s insistence. It had been the kind of domestic activity I’d never taken part of, and I found myself enjoying every minute of it. But I hadn’t been prepared for it, that was for sure. Parents deserved gold medals for surviving the bedtime routine on a nightly basis. It certainly wasn’t for the faint of heart.
“It goes in waves but yes, lately it's about squeezing as many books out of me as possible. Until her lids are so heavy that she passes out mid story.”
“That's my kind of girl. I need to work on my reading stamina. I was on the verge of losing my voice after thirty minutes of reading aloud. Besides, my bladder was screaming at me.” I’d gone to the bathroom and peeked back into the room to find Beck cuddled up with Alice, struggling to keep her eyes open as her dad read the same book for the third time in a row.
I’d been very tempted to crawl into bed with them, but I thought better of it. It was their bubble, and I didn’t want to break it. Besides, I wanted a minute to myself to think about Beck’s offer to go to Disneyland. To travel with them and make future plans with them. I just needed a minute to consider all of it.
He continued to massage my calves. “In the future, you should use the bathroom before we start story time...”
In the future . Did he know how that statement squeezed my heart?
Beck shook his head. “Pitiful. How do I know you even needed to use the restroom? You could have been faking it.”
I playfully pushed him. “Oh, please. You're just jealous you didn't think of it sooner.”
His hands stopped. “That's probably it.”
“Aha, I knew it,” I said smugly. “It's hard to have both beauty and brains, you know.”
“Now you're just pushing it,” he said as his hands wandered higher.
I swallowed. “I'll have to buy her some Little House on the Prairie books. I loved those when I was her age. Well, maybe a little older. I wonder where my copies are.”
Beck hummed. “Chapter books are a good idea.”
His strong hands kneaded my thighs, working their way up from my knee to the juncture between my thighs. They grazed, teasing and taunting. I tossed my head back, closing my eyes to feel the sensations. To have them overwhelm my good senses.
All thought of books poofed from my brain like some fairy had come and waved them away with a wand.
All that mattered was Beck and his fingers which were occasionally grazing my clit, igniting my nerve endings.
“Definitely keep doing that.” My knees draped open. The more access I could give him, the better. Not that he needed any help on that front. The man knew how to play my body like it was his own personal instrument.
I only had to let him. And I was going to let him.
“Beck,” I moaned, loving the feel of his strong hands that were so confident in their movements. So assured.
When his thumb brushed over that bundle of nerves I shifted, trying to recreate the movement because once wasn't enough. After so many years of getting pleasure only from myself, my body finally let someone else do the hard work.
I licked my lips as Beck's hand dipped beneath the band of my tights. My breath hitched. In fact, I'm pretty sure I stopped breathing, waiting to see what happened next.
His broad hand pushed past the tight elastic, dragging along my pelvis until he was cupping me. I mewled, the excitement building inside me as he adjusted himself. With my eyelids shut I could still sense him moving between my legs, his body facing mine.
I pouted when his hands slipped out, leaving me wanting more. Luckily, I didn’t have to wait long before his hands found my hips, tugging the sides of my tights. “Let's get these fucking things off you.”
“Yes, please,” I whispered breathlessly.
I wriggled, helping Beck shuck off the offending fabric.
“I officially have a love-hate relationship with leggings and tights. How pissed would you be if I ripped these off?”
If they hadn't been my most comfortable and most expensive pair, I'd give him carte blanche. But these were a special pair of tights and despite trying to chase an orgasm, I couldn't throw them away for the sake of some temporary pleasure.
“I'll handle it.” I grabbed them myself and pulled them the rest of the way off, tossing them haphazardly off the side of the couch.
By the time we successfully removed the tights, the two of us were panting like we’d run the NYC marathon.
Our eyes collided, and I watched as Beck’s lip twitched.
A laugh burst from my chest and in return Beck’s lip twitch escalated into raucous laughter. Then we glanced down at the black tights on the ground, and back at each other.
The laughing continued, Beck dipping his head to meet mine. “Those fucking tights.”
Finally, the laughter died when Beck's lips claimed mine.