Chapter 25
Chapter Twenty-Five
Grace
I opened my eyes and noticed Jamieson wasn’t in the bedroom. Glancing at the clock, I saw it was four p.m. I felt a lot better, so I took out my IV, climbed out of bed, and walked into the living room, where I saw Jamieson sitting on the couch with his hands covering his face.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
He picked up the white piece of paper sitting next to him and handed it to me.
Our receipt for wedding services was rendered with a note that said our proof of marriage would be ready for pick up today after one p.m. Placing my hand over my mouth, I ran to the powder room off the foyer and stuck my head in the toilet. This wasn’t happening.
Once I was finished, I wiped my mouth and walked back out to the living room.
“Are you okay?” Jamieson asked.
“No! I’m not okay! We fucking got married last night!” I shouted. “Are you okay?”
“Fuck no! This is bullshit, and I know it’s some joke. We both just need to calm down, get dressed, and head over to this Little Vegas Chapel and find out what the fuck happened.”
“We are both wearing gold wedding bands!” I yelled.
I grabbed the ring and removed it from my finger as quickly as possible. Jamieson stared at me and then removed his before getting up from the couch.
“Listen, Grace. Let’s not panic or lose our shit just yet until we find out exactly what happened last night.”
I took in a deep breath and went into the bedroom. I lost my shit anyway as I went into the bathroom and checked the trash can. Then I scurried back into the bedroom and got down on the floor on my hands and knees, crawling around the bed like a lunatic.
“What the hell are you doing?” Jamieson asked.
“Looking for the condom. The wrapper. Anything!” I shouted. “There’s nothing. No sign of any condom being used!”
“Grace—”
“Don’t. Don’t say it!” I pointed at him. “Who knows how many times we had sex last night. Neither one of us even remembers doing it. In fact, I’m shocked you could even get it up with as much alcohol as you drank.”
“I can always get it up, no matter what.”
“Oh, I bet you can!”
“Are you on birth control?” he asked calmly.
“Yes. Of course.”
“Then what are you worried about?”
“What am I worried about?” I cocked my head in disbelief as I stood up. “I’m worried about contracting an STD, you idiot! God knows you’ve slept with half the hospital and probably all of Los Angeles and New York!” I shouted.
“Okay. Just stop right there!” he yelled. “I do not have an STD. That I can guarantee. I’ve never in my life not used a condom with a woman. EVER!”
“Ha. I find that hard to believe.” I placed my hands on my hips.
He stood there and slowly shook his head.
“I don’t care if you believe me or not. I’m one hundred percent clean. Get dressed so we can go.” He grabbed his clothes and walked out of the bedroom.
I threw on a sundress and some sandals, and we took the elevator to the lobby. When the doors opened, we saw Mandy and Greg walking out of the hotel.
“Mandy. Greg. Wait!” I shouted.
“Hey, you two! What a great day yesterday,” Mandy spoke. “How was Criss Angel?”
“We don’t remember. In fact, we were hoping you could tell us what we did,” Jamieson spoke.
“We don’t know, Jamieson. We parted ways after dinner because we had to be at the chapel, and you guys were going to try and get tickets to see Criss Angel. That was the last we saw of you,” Greg spoke. “What’s going on?”
“We just woke up very hungover and can’t remember much about last night,” I spoke.
“Well. Obviously, the three of you had a great time.” Mandy smiled.
“The three of us?” Jamieson spoke.
“You, Grace, and the alcohol.” Greg grinned. “Anyway, we have to head to the airport. Let’s meet up in Los Angeles for dinner one night.”
The two of them climbed into a cab, and Jamieson and I walked down to the Little Vegas Chapel. When we walked in, we were greeted by an oversized man with a jolly smile on his face.
“Hello again. How’s the happy couple? I assume you’re here to pick up your proof of marriage?”
“We need to talk to you,” I spoke in a stern voice.
“Sure. Come with me.” His jolly smile dissipated.
He took us back into his office and sat behind his desk.
“What’s going on?” he asked.
“That’s what we need you to tell us,” Jamieson spoke.
“Somehow, I knew this was going to happen.” He sighed. “Let me guess. You have no recollection of getting hitched last night?”
“No, we don’t!” Jamieson spoke in a firm voice.
“You both came in here last night, drunk off your asses. At first, I refused to marry you. I even told you to come back today if you still wanted to get married when you were sober, and I’d marry you.
But you insisted. You both said you were sure you wanted it, and you even signed a liability contract stating that the Little Vegas Chapel would not be held responsible because you both were intoxicated.
It is a legally binding contract. In fact, your wedding photos are ready. ”
He got up from his chair and walked over to the long table that sat up against the wall near the door. After picking up a large white envelope, he walked over and handed it to me. I swallowed hard as I opened it and removed the pictures.
“Oh my God,” I spoke.
“Fuck me,” Jamieson said as he rubbed his forehead.
The pictures were of us posing in the most God-awful drunk-off-our-asses poses possible.
“Where did I get that veil?”
“You rented it from us.”
“And the flowers?”
“From us.”
“Oh my God.” I covered my face with my hands.
“What about the gold bands we were both wearing?” Jamieson asked.
“We sell rings here as well.”
“So, you’re telling us that this is all real? We came to this place last night and got married?” Jamieson sighed.
“Yes. Clearly, the two of you are regretting it now. Good thing I had you sign that contract.”
“This is absolutely ridiculous!” Jamieson shouted. “There should be laws about marrying people who are inebriated.”
“Listen, you two. You made a mistake. It happens. But there’s nothing to worry about.
You go to the courthouse and have the marriage annulled as soon as you get home.
It’ll be as if it never happened, and the two of you can go your separate ways.
I’m sorry about this, but I tried to discourage you last night, considering the state you were in. ”
“Thank you,” Jamieson spoke as he got up from his seat. “I apologize if we were any trouble.”
“Nah. You two were cute and very persistent. Sometimes the subconscious mind has a way of telling you things that your conscious mind doesn’t want to know.” He smiled.
“Trust us. This is something neither of us wanted,” Jamieson spoke.
We walked out of the chapel and headed back to the hotel.
“This is just great. Just fucking great.” He shook his head.
I didn’t say a word. I just walked alongside him, staring straight ahead in disbelief.
“Aren’t you going to say anything?”
“What do you want me to say, Jamieson? We got married. Woohoo!” I threw my hands up in the air. “I’m just as sick about it as you are, but we can fix this. You heard what he said.”
“Damn right we’re going to fix it. I’m calling my attorney the second we get back to the hotel.”
We stepped onto the elevator, and Jamieson pushed the button to his floor.
“Come back to the room with me, and I’ll call my attorney. We’ll talk to him and see how quickly we can get this marriage annulled.”