Chapter 40
Chapter Forty
Jamieson
“My mother was diagnosed as a paranoid schizophrenic when I was eight years old. It began when she took me to remote cabins to hide in the middle of nowhere.”
“Hide from what?” Grace asked.
“Anything and everything. Aliens, the government, but mainly my father. She was convinced they were trying to kill her and me. We stayed there for days until my father found us. I wasn’t allowed to go outside because of her paranoia.
The last time she had taken me away was when it got really bad.
She would lie in her bed and scream all night long.
She told me that the aliens took her in the middle of the night and injected worms inside her.
She would scratch her arms so violently that she broke the skin in several places.
I couldn’t take it anymore, so when she was asleep, I found her keys that she had hidden, unlocked the door, and ran for help.
After about two miles, I stumbled across a small family-owned general store.
They called the police and an ambulance, and she was taken to the hospital.
But even before all that, she was behaving strangely.
I would sit at the top of the steps and listen to my father scream at her.
He told her she was an unfit mother and that he would take me away from her.
I’m positive that was part of the reason she took me and ran.
After she was hospitalized and finally diagnosed, she started her medication and came home.
My father couldn’t understand and didn’t want to deal with it or her.
He started working late nights at the hospital, and not too long after everything had happened, he filed for divorce and sought full custody of me, stating she was incapable of taking care of me full-time.
The judge agreed, and he got full custody, and she had visitation.
That destroyed her. After the divorce was final, that son of a bitch opened up his Beverly Hills practice.
He purposely waited so she couldn’t touch it. ”
“Jamieson, I’m so sorry,” Grace spoke as she laid her head on my shoulder.
“He told me that he opened that practice for me because I was going to become a great urologist like him, and after I finished med school and my residency, we’d run it together.
He told me that it was my legacy because his father, my grandfather, was also a urologist, and his father before him.
I didn’t want to be a urologist. I wasn’t sure at that point what field of medicine I wanted to study until I began researching schizophrenia and the brain.
I became fascinated with neuroanatomy and its complexities.
I was drawn to the different types of tumors and the tremendous amount of sacrifice and challenges that I would be faced with.
I couldn’t do anything at that point to save my mom because there is no cure for schizophrenia, but I could save other people.
I could restore the normalcy of their lives that the tumors took away from them.
I could give them back to their loved ones.
When I explained all this to my father, he resented me for it and told me that I would become a urologist. He screamed and yelled all the time and said I was nothing but a disappointment.
He told me it was in my blood and that I’d never be good at anything else, even though I was at a genius level.
So, to keep the peace, I led him to believe throughout medical school that I would be what he wanted me to be.
It wasn’t until my residency that I finally told him to fuck off and that I was going to be a neurosurgeon.
I told him that I was going to find a cure for schizophrenia and that I was going to help my mom.
He called me every name in the book and told me that I was living a pipedream and one day I’d regret my decision. ”
“Oh my God. He’s such an asshole,” Grace spoke. “What parent does that to their child?”
“Exactly. He couldn’t even be bothered to come to my graduation or to any of the award ceremonies that I was acknowledged at.
He completely cut me off during my residency.
The only reason I have the money I do, besides making great money at my job, is because my grandfather left me a trust fund in my name that I was to receive in full when I turned twenty-five.
He kept the trust fund a secret from my father because he knew how he was.
He passed away when I was nineteen, but I told him in confidence a few months before he passed that I would be the best neurosurgeon in the world, and no one would stop me.
So, you’re right when you say there is no love lost between my father and me.
He can’t stand me as much as I can’t stand him.
He never forgave me for going into neurosurgery, and I never forgave him for being a lousy father and for walking away from my mother when she needed him. ”
“Where did your mom go?” Grace asked.
“Hell if I know. This is what she does. She disappears and then pops back in every few years. This last time she was gone for five years. She’ll probably be gone for another five.
I stopped needing her a long time ago. I didn’t need anyone.
I knew what I wanted, my focus, my career, and my research.
” I glanced over at her. “I’m sorry for how I treated you and for what I said.
A part of me felt like my father, and I hated it. I’m not him, Grace. I never will be.”
“You’re nothing like him, Jamieson.” She placed her hand on my cheek. “You are a good man.”
The corners of my mouth curved upward. “You told me I was Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.”
“I was mad.” She wrinkled her nose.
“Listen.” I took hold of her hand. “We both know things about each other now, so I was thinking that maybe we could start over. Our secrets are out, and maybe it’ll be easier to get to know each other better. We could start slow or something.”
“We’re married.” She laughed.
“I know, and maybe we could forget about that for the time being. I want to get to know you without all the drama and baggage we both have in our lives.”
“I’d like that.” She smiled.
“Will you come home?” I asked.
“Yes. I’ll come home.” She looked at the clock on the wall. “We both need to be back here in four hours. Maybe we should stay and get some sleep.”
“Maybe we should.” I smiled. “I can shower here, and I have extra clothes I keep in my office. Shall we?” I motioned for her to lie down.
I climbed behind her and wrapped my arms around her.
There wasn’t much room, but we fit just fine.
I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders by telling her everything.
I felt free for the first time in my life.
There was nothing more I was keeping from her except my feelings.
The ones I tried so hard to fight. I never wanted anything from anyone before, but now, Grace Harper knew me.
She knew my secrets and flaws, and she didn’t go running for the hills.
She stayed wrapped up in my arms, and that made me happy.