Chapter 2
I talked to Ele and explained everything that was happening, trying to find the right words for such a young child. But with her intelligence and sensitivity, she understood more than I expected. Together, we headed to the hospital.
The days have been hectic and exhausting, with work, college, and taking care of Elena.
Luckily, my boss gave me a raise, since expenses had increased and I'd have to manage on my own from now on.
I thanked her for the gesture, but I knew it wouldn't be enough.
The cost of living in London is high—between the expensive rent and daily transportation and food costs, I needed to find another source of income to make ends meet.
Dona Vera has been an angel in our lives. I've been taking Ele to work with me, and she takes care of her with so much affection, feeding her and keeping an eye on her for me. Her kindness and warmth have been essential during this difficult time, and I'll be forever grateful for her help.
I'm trying to keep up with college because since I got a scholarship, I can't drop out or get bad grades.
I study hard because I want to give my sister a better future—I won't let her suffer anymore.
The money, even after the raise, barely covers everything, so I pay the rent and tuition and try to feed Elena well.
The important thing is that she's okay. As a result, I've already lost quite a few pounds.
For days now, after Elena falls asleep, I break down in tears. The burden has been heavy, but as difficult as it is, I need to stay strong and brave so she doesn't feel the weight of this situation. She's just a child and deserves all the love and protection I can give her.
Today is the day we're going to the hospital to say goodbye to our beloved mother. Elena is calm; I wish I had her composure. Even though she's only nine years old, she's very intelligent and clever. I've always been grateful for that, since we've had to fend for ourselves many times.
We arrived at the hospital at the scheduled time.
I confess: I didn't want to be there, not in that situation, and certainly not to say goodbye to my mother.
I remember when we still lived in Germany, she would lie down with me in my bed to help me fall asleep, and we'd choose the night's book together.
“Which book do you want tonight, my princess?”
“Tonight, I want Cinderella.”
“Excellent choice, my daughter, a beautiful princess, just like you. Lie down in your bed—now we'll travel into the story.”
And then she would start the story, like every day, imitating the characters' voices and making gestures with her hands. It seemed magical.
“Once upon a time, there was a beautiful little girl named Cinderella….”
Halfway through the book I would already be falling asleep, listening to that sweet voice Mom had. And when she sang... it was beautiful! The melody would transform into a captivating song that transported us into the story and made me imagine being that happy princess.
I shake my head, coming out of my daydreams, when I feel Elena grab my arm, telling me we've been called.
At that exact moment, I shudder from head to toe.
I take a deep breath, get up from the chair, and start walking toward the nurse who's waiting for us.
I promised myself I wouldn't falter, and I'd do my best so Mom could trust me.
When I enter the room, Dr. Jullian is there, adjusting the IV. He nods in greeting and says:
“I increased the morphine dose so she won't feel any pain while she's awake. I'll be right outside—if you need anything, just call me.”
“Thank you, doctor.”
I watch him leave through the door we entered a few minutes ago. I turn to look at my mother, who is even thinner than before. I feel my eyes welling up, but today I won't let a single tear fall. I have to be strong, for her and for my sister.
“Hi, Mom,” I say, taking her hand while Elena approaches.
“We came to see you and tell you we're okay. Ele has been coming to work with me, and Dona Vera has been wonderful to us—she takes great care of her while I work, feeds her, and even helps with homework.” My voice trembles a little, but I try to stay calm.
“Oh, and I got a raise, so I can handle all the expenses.
We'll be fine. You don't need to worry.”
“My sweet Chloe,” she whispers, her voice so low I have to lean in to hear, “you've always been a wonderful girl. Obedient, intelligent, and strong—you never complained, even when things were hard. Forgive me for everything I put you through. I bitterly regret dragging you into the mess I made of my life.”
“Don't say that, Mom!” I hold her hand tighter. “I would have followed you anywhere. And I'd do it all again, just to be by your side. I love you both so much, unconditionally!”
I hug Elena, who is sitting on the gurney beside me, listening to us, focused on everything.
“I made you suffer, my daughter,” she says, her voice trembling with regret, “you didn't deserve to go through any of this, and neither did Elena.” With visible effort against the pain, my mother takes my little sister's hand, her touch gentle and affectionate.
“Your sister will take very good care of you, my little one. I know she won’t let anything bad happen to you. Just listen to her, okay?”
“Okay, Mommy. I’ll do everything you asked. I’ll be a good sister and do what she says.”
I smile at the words of the little brat I love most in this world. She understood that from now on, it will be just the two of us.
“Chloe, when I found out about my illness, I started saving some money. It’s in my room, inside a tin, at the back of the closet. It’s not much, but it’ll help pay some bills. If you need anything, go to Mr. Júlio, the owner of the bar where I worked. He’ll take you in.”
“I feel guilty for not knowing about your illness, Mom. I could have helped you more, and you could have taken better care of yourself.”
“When we arrived here in London, I got sick and they brought me to the hospital. That’s when I found out. Mr. Júlio was with me. I did what I could as a mother. I didn’t want to leave you two alone.”
“I know. I don’t want you to blame yourself. You were always a wonderful mother and gave everything you had to give us the best, so rest easy.”
“Just promise me... that you’ll take care of yourself and your little sister, don’t...” Her voice starts to falter and she stops speaking, struggling to catch her breath.
I can see she’s exhausted and call Dr. Jullian, who quickly comes to her side to examine her.
“She’s worn out—she can’t talk much. I’ll give you a few more minutes so she can rest.”
“Okay, Doctor. Thank you!” When he leaves, I return to my mother, who now has an oxygen mask covering her nose and mouth.
“I promise I’ll take care of Ele as if she were my own daughter,” I say, squeezing her hand tightly. “I’ll give it my all, just like you did, Mom. I just want you to be at peace and rest. Don’t worry about us.”
She squeezes my hand and nods, a tear escaping from her eye. At that moment, the nurse enters and administers a sedative through the IV. I sense this is the moment of goodbye. I stroke my mother’s blonde hair as she slowly closes her eyes, a gentle smile on her face.
“You can go in peace, Mom. I promise we’ll be very happy.
” At that moment, a single tear escapes from my eye, revealing the vulnerability I try to hide.
I take a deep breath, knowing I need to stay strong for Elena and for my mother’s memory.
With that thought, we leave the hospital and go straight home, where I seek a moment alone to process my emotions.
Two days later, we received the devastating news: my mother had passed away.
Even knowing it was imminent, the news of her death hit me hard, as if the world had collapsed on top of me.
We’re never prepared to lose those we love.
In that difficult time, I found support in the friends who had always been by our side: Dona Vera and the employees at Mr. Júlio’s bar.
They welcomed us with warmth and understanding, and I was grateful to have them in my life.
Now I needed to make it on my own to ensure Elena’s well-being. Mr. Júlio generously offered me a place to live above the nightclub and gave me the option to work there if I wanted. However, since I was still a minor, I would have to keep everything a secret.
Since I’d always watched the girls dance, I asked for a chance to join them.
It was a challenge, but I made it—on the condition that I wore a mask.
And so I began rehearsals. Fortunately, my experience with dance, ballet, and jazz back in Russia made learning easier.
I chose a costume that would make me feel comfortable: a sheer, flowing dress that wasn’t too revealing, and a matching mask that complemented the look.
With this new opportunity, I began working and balancing my studies at college, my job at the cafeteria, and dancing, which had always been a passion of mine.
We moved into the apartment that was offered, and little by little, life started to get better.
Elena and I were happy, but we knew life isn’t always easy.
There are always challenges that test our strength and emotional balance.
And once again, we had to pick ourselves up and move forward, giving it our all.