Chapter 8 #2
"Everything." He was quiet for a moment. "The first morning I woke up here, I walked outside and there was this... stillness. No traffic, no sirens, no notifications. Just peace. And I realized I couldn't remember the last time I'd felt that kind of serenity."
"San Francisco's not exactly known for its tranquility."
"Neither was my life." He turned to look at me. "I was running so fast for so long. Building the company, chasing the next milestone, the next deal, the next success. And then I got here and I thought—what was I running toward? Or was I just running?"
I didn't say anything. I understood that feeling better than I wanted to admit.
The constant motion, the endless to-do lists, the way busyness could become a shield against asking harder questions.
I'd done the same thing—thrown myself into work so I wouldn't have to think about what was missing from the rest of my life.
"Sorry," he said. "That got heavy."
"No, I—" I took a breath. "I'm really glad I got to know you, Blaine.
You and your friends. You're..." I searched for the right words.
"You're a special guy. Smart, driven, but you still find time to appreciate the beauty of this place.
To connect with people. With animals." I laughed softly.
"You carry carrots in your pocket for a horse you've known three weeks. "
"Cisco's very persuasive."
"I'm serious." I looked at him. "I wish Preston was more like you. I wish he could slow down long enough to actually be present. To listen. To care about something besides the next rung on the ladder."
The words were out before I could stop them. I hadn't meant to say that—hadn't meant to compare them out loud. But standing here, in this peaceful place, with this man who looked at me like I was worth seeing... the truth had slipped out.
Blaine was quiet for a moment. Then he said, "Can I be honest with you?"
"Always."
"I'm a straight shooter, so I'm just going to say it." He met my eyes. "I'm very attracted to you, Caitlin. I enjoy your company more than I've enjoyed anyone's company in a long time. And I respect the fact that you have a boyfriend—I do. I'm not going to push or make things weird."
My heart was pounding. "Blaine?—"
"But I want you to know that I'm here. And if things ever change with Preston..." He gave me a small smile. "I don't mind being next in line."
I didn't know what to say. No one had ever been that direct with me. That honest. Preston had pursued me with grand gestures and charming words, but he'd never just... told me how he felt. Simply. Clearly. Without games.
In three years with Preston, I'd never felt as seen as I did in this moment.
"I don't know what to say," I admitted.
"You don't have to say anything. I just wanted you to know where I stand." He stepped back, giving me space. "No pressure. No expectations. Just... the truth."
The truth. Such a simple concept, and yet it felt revolutionary.
When was the last time Preston had given me the unvarnished truth about anything?
He spoke in careful half-statements, in promises that came with implied asterisks, in "we'll see" and "when things settle down" and "you know how it is. "
Blaine had just laid his cards on the table and asked for nothing in return.
And then my phone buzzed, loud in the quiet night. I pulled it out, half-expecting Jess demanding updates.
It was Preston.
Hey babe. Sorry I didn't call today. Crazy busy. Miss you.
I stared at the screen. Miss you. Two words that should have meant something. Two words that felt hollow and small compared to what Blaine had just said.
Crazy busy. The excuse I'd heard a thousand times. The reason he couldn't call, couldn't visit, couldn't be present for any of the moments that mattered. Crazy busy was Preston's default setting, his shield against accountability, his way of making his absence my problem to manage.
And standing here on this porch, with Blaine's honest words still hanging in the air between us, I felt something shift. A crack in the foundation I'd built my relationship on. A hairline fracture that had probably been there for months—years, maybe—but that I'd refused to see.
"Everything okay?" Blaine asked.
"Yeah. It's just—" I slipped the phone back in my pocket without responding. "It's nothing."
He didn't push. Didn't ask who it was. Just nodded and stepped back, giving me space.
"Thank you for dinner," I said. "And for... everything."
"Thank you for coming. And for the intel on Cole."
"Strategic planning."
"The most strategic."
I walked to my truck, feeling his eyes on me the whole way. When I reached the door, I turned back.
"Blaine?"
"Yeah?"
"I like you too." The words came out before I could stop them. "I shouldn't, and I don't know what to do about it, and everything is complicated. But I like you too."
His smile was like sunrise. "Good to know."
"Goodnight, Blaine."
"Goodnight, Caitlin."
I climbed into my truck and drove away, watching him in the rearview mirror until the house disappeared around a bend. My hands were shaking on the steering wheel. My heart was racing like I'd run a marathon.
What had I just done?
I pulled over about a mile from the ranch, unable to drive with my thoughts spinning this fast. The road was empty, nothing but darkness and stars and the distant silhouette of hills. I sat there with the engine idling, trying to catch my breath.
I like you too.
I'd said it. Out loud. To a man who wasn't my boyfriend, about feelings I shouldn't be having, in a situation I had no idea how to navigate.
Preston's text was still unanswered in my pocket. Miss you. Did he? Did he really? Or was it just something to say, words typed without thought, a placeholder for the actual effort of caring?
I thought about the last time Preston had looked at me the way Blaine had tonight. The last time he'd told me something real, something honest, something that wasn't filtered through his ambition or his schedule or his carefully curated image.
I couldn't remember. And that, more than anything, told me what I needed to know.
I picked up my phone. Stared at Preston's message. My thumb hovered over the reply button.
I put the phone down.
Not tonight. Tonight, I didn't have the energy to pretend everything was fine. Tonight, I needed to sit with these feelings and figure out what they meant.
I drove the rest of the way home with the windows down, letting the cool night air wash over me. When I pulled into my driveway, I sat in the truck for a long moment, staring at my dark little house.
What was I doing?
I didn't know. But for the first time in months, I felt like I was moving toward something instead of just standing still.
My phone buzzed. Jess.
Well??? How was it???
I typed back: I think I'm in trouble.
The good kind or the bad kind?
I stared at the screen for a long moment.
I honestly don't know.