11. Billie
CHAPTER 11
BILLIE
B illie was having trouble focusing.
A few days ago, Max had come over to help her wrap gifts. It had seemed innocent enough, until they’d been kneeling on the floor beside each other, wrapping a plush cow. The next moment echoed in Billie’s mind over and over — Max’s eyes had met hers. They’d looked at each other for a long moment, and Billie had felt attraction stirring inside her. She’d wanted to lean forward and kiss him. She’d wanted to feel his broad hands on her back and his warm lips against her own. She’d wanted to inhale his masculine shaving-cream scent and feel the brush of his five-o’clock shadow against her cheek. She’d wanted him to pull her against his firm chest and whisper in her ear.
And that was out of the question.
Billie didn’t even like Max that way. She’d enjoyed the night they’d spent together (it still sneaked into her mind sometimes, right before she fell asleep), but they were just too different. A relationship would never work. And worse, it could jeopardize the funding for Sweetest Surprise’s Christmas program. Billie couldn’t let that happen.
Most likely, the attraction had been one-sided. Max probably hadn’t felt the band of tension that seemed to be pulling her towards him. That was for the best. They needed to work together again in a few days, when Sweetest Surprise would visit the local children’s hospital to give out gifts to hospital-bound kids, and Billie needed to act normally. She couldn’t be thinking about kissing Max or about the night they’d spent together — no matter how fresh it was in her mind.
Billie sighed and looked down at the new year schedule she’d been trying to sort out. One of her employees wanted to offer a dance class, but it was at the same time as the afterschool program and they both needed the big room. Billie chewed the end of her pencil thoughtfully. This was the problem she should be wrestling with instead of thinking about Max.
Unfortunately, Billie’s attempts to distract herself over the next few days invariably went off the rails. At least she was supposed to meet her sister, Jamie, for dinner, which she’d been looking forward to. It would be a good opportunity to distract herself from all thoughts of Max and focus on something else for a change.
They met at a local pizza place, where Jamie had already ordered them a large ham-and-black-olive pizza, their joint favorite, to share. Billie slid into the booth across from her sister with a grin.
“Jamie, how are you? It’s been too long since we’ve seen each other in person.”
“I know, things have been a little busy.” Jamie wiggled a little in her seat, then leaned forward. “I wanted to wait to tell you until after dinner, but I couldn’t hold it in. I’m pregnant!”
“Oh, my gosh!” Billie slid out of her seat and came around to hug her sister. “Congratulations! You and Stewart must be thrilled.”
“Absolutely. And you’re definitely going to be the favorite aunt.”
“I’m not so sure.” Billie pulled back to smile at her sister. “Our sisters-in-law are pretty amazing.”
“Yeah, but they’re distracted by their own kids and husbands,” Jamie said with a shrug. Billie was sure she hadn’t meant it as a cutting comment, but it still stung to be reminded that she was single and childless. Still, it was Jamie’s day, and Billie wasn’t about to get offended.
“Well, your baby’s best aunt is here.” She sat back down and leaned her elbows on the table. “How far along are you?”
“Seven weeks,” Jamie said. “We found out yesterday, and I wanted to tell you first.”
“Thank you.” Billie beamed. “I really am so very happy for you.”
“I’m happy for me, too.” Jamie beamed back. “And I’ve already started thinking about names. I’m only worried that I won’t be able to get Stewart on board, although he says he’s pretty open.”
“What are you thinking about?” Billie leaned forward. “Tell me absolutely everything.”
Only after she’d gotten back home did Billie realize that she was sad for herself as well as happy for her sister. Billie was thirty and no closer to children than she’d been five or ten years ago, while her younger sister would become a mother at twenty-eight. For some reason, that made her think of Max again and the conversation they’d had about kids. All roads led back to Max, even thoughts about children. It was completely unavoidable now.
The next day, Billie filled in for a missing volunteer during the afterschool program. Almost immediately, she heard Eloise talking to her friend Sierra about Christmas gifts.
“Why would you want a donation to charity?” Sierra asked skeptically.
“I want to help people,” Eloise replied earnestly. “I just hope Santa understands that.”
“Santa?” Sierra giggled. “Do you really think…” Their voices trailed off as they headed into another room, but it was too late: Billie was already thinking about Max and the conversation they’d had about charity — and the toy cow they’d gotten for Eloise along with her donation.
On the morning of the hospital trip, Billie got a call from Max’s head of PR. A little surprised, since she’d mostly been communicating directly with Max, she answered. “Hi, Stephanie.”
“Billie. I just wanted to check in about tonight’s hospital event. Max will be there, as we agreed, and we’re also sending a photographer.”
Billie held back an internal sigh. “All right, but keep in mind that we shouldn’t take pictures of the kids unless they and their parents agree.”
“Of course, of course. Don’t worry; everyone is prepared to be very sensitive. Anyway, I just wanted to check in with you. See you this evening!”
Instead of making Billie feel better about the event, though, Stephanie’s call made her feel much worse. She wondered why it had been Stephanie instead of Max who’d called. Max hadn’t texted over the last few days either.
Billie sighed. This would be fine. Yes, she was a little worried about how Max would behave, after he’d told her how clueless he was with kids, but she was confident he would be fine. It was the cameraman and Stephanie that she was more worried about.
As afternoon came, Billie checked her outfit — a Christmas sweater with a bright green tree on the front that she loved even though it was tacky, and a pair of jeans — then smoothed her hair back. Maybe she should have worn something else. She always wore funny Christmas sweaters to the hospital in hopes of brightening the children’s days, but with the cameras rolling…
No. Billie glared at herself in the mirror. The pictures didn’t matter — only the kids did.
She loaded the presents into the car and drove to the hospital. The call with Stephanie, her worries about Max, and her own uncertainty about her outfit made Billie more than a little grumpy as she pulled into the parking lot, but she steadied herself with a few deep breaths. Even if Max wasn’t good with the kids, even if her outfit looked bad on camera, even if Stephanie was a bit odd, they were still giving out Christmas gifts today — and that was what mattered.
Billie began lugging the first round of gifts from the car into the hospital, but was stopped right away by Max, who had just pulled up next to her.
“Let me help you.”
“Thank you.” Billie smiled gratefully and handed him a few bags. Then she paused, sniffing. “Something smells good in your car.”
“I’m glad to hear it.” Juggling the bags she’d handed him, Max opened the trunk of the car to reveal five large bags brimming with takeout boxes. “I brought some food from the restaurant. I thought the kids might appreciate a break from hospital food.”
Billie’s heart melted. “That’s so sweet. But why did you offer to help me carry my bags? You have a lot to carry, too.”
“Good point.” Max looked down at the row of bags. “This might mean two trips.”
Exchanging a smile, they began to carry in their haul. The hospital administrator who was meeting them was in the lobby, and she immediately offered to come help with the next load. On the way out, they ran into Stephanie and the photographer and quickly co-opted them into helping as well. With so many hands, the work went quickly, and they were soon on the way up to the long-term ward.
“Remember,” the administrator said kindly, “some of the kids on this floor are quite sick. Please be considerate and only take pictures if they’re all right with it.”
Everyone nodded, but the photographer looked slightly annoyed. Billie hoped it was because he’d already been told this several times today, not because he’d been planning to take pictures indiscriminately.
When the elevator doors dinged open, they were greeted by three nurses. The one in holiday-themed scrubs stepped forward.
“Welcome to Denver Children’s Hospital,” she said with a bright smile. “Please, come on in. The kids are very excited to see you.”
“We’re excited to see them ,” Billie said. “Thank you so much for having us.”
“It’s really our pleasure. Follow me.”
First, they went to the hospital’s common area. The kids who were more mobile had congregated there, many with their parents or grandparents, to play games and listen to Christmas music. At the sight of Max and Billie, they all cheered.
After greeting them, Max set up most of the food into a buffet line along one wall with the help of Billie and one of the nurses.
“I’m keeping aside a few boxes,” he told Billie quietly. “We’ll go to a few individual rooms after this, right?”
“Right.”
Next, they went around the room handing out boxes and bags. Soon, the kids were tearing wrapping paper away and squealing with delight at their new toys, games, art sets, and books. The photographer snapped shots of Max and Billie handing out the gifts and of the kids, all of whom seemed to be in good spirits. Billie noticed a few with the telltale head coverings of chemo or who were wearing leg braces or were hooked up to IVs, but no one seemed especially sick, and spirits were high.
“I think I have everything I need,” the photographer told Billie. “Thanks.”
“Sure.”
“I’ll head out too, then.” Stephanie checked her watch. “Are you coming, Max?”
Max looked from Stephanie to the kids to Billie, then shook his head. “No, thanks. I’ll stay a little longer.”
“See you later.” Stephanie and the photographer left.
Billie turned to Max. “You didn’t need to stay.”
“I wanted to. It’s nice to see the kids, and I’m glad that they’re enjoying their presents and the food.”
“Well, the next part might be a little more difficult. It’s time to visit the kids who can’t leave their rooms.”
“I’m ready.”
Together, Max and Billie filled their arms with the remaining gifts and the unopened food and followed the Christmas-scrubs nurse to the first room. Inside, a small child of around six sat cross-legged on the bed. She was bald and there were bandages around her head, but she still looked up and smiled when Billie and Max entered.
“Mommy, the gifts are here!” the little girl said excitedly. Her mother looked up from the chair beside the bed and Billie saw that she wore a weary expression.
“Hi, I’m Billie, and this is my friend Max,” Billie said. “We brought you a special toy, directly from Santa.”
“Really?” The little girl’s eyes glowed with excitement.
“Really.” Max lifted a small bag from the pile of gifts and handed it to the child. She unwrapped it excitedly and pulled out a small stuffed rabbit, which she immediately hugged to her chest and covered in kisses.
“Oh, hold on a minute.” Max tilted his head. “I don’t think your rabbit is feeling well.”
“She isn’t?” The girl looked worried and snuggled the rabbit closer. Billie gave Max a warning look — suggesting to a sick child that her toy wasn’t feeling well was almost definitely a bad idea. But he either didn’t see her or chose to ignore her.
“No, but don’t worry, we can make her better.” Max held out his hands and the girl handed the rabbit back. Max carefully wrapped a length of bandage from a spool on the girl’s bookshelf around the rabbit’s head. He tied it neatly behind the rabbit’s ears until the toy was wearing a smaller version of the bandages on the girl’s head.
“There we go.” He handed the rabbit back to the child. “She’s feeling better now. She just needs a lot of hugs and kisses.”
The little girl gave the rabbit a hug and a kiss, then held it back to admire it. “She looks just like me! Is she also getting better?”
“Definitely.” Max nodded. In the corner of the room, the girl’s mother looked slightly teary, and Billie went to give her a box of food and an encouraging squeeze on the shoulder.
“This is so sweet of you,” she told Billie. “And my Mandy really is getting better. We got the news this morning that she should be discharged early in the new year.”
“That’s wonderful.” Billie and the mother looked at little Mandy, who was hugging her rabbit and telling Max all about her favorite TV show, Paw Patrol , and about how the food in the hospital was “blecky.”
“I think we can fix that,” Max said. Mandy’s mom brought the box of food to her daughter, who danced with delight at the sight of a box full of French fries and grilled cheese sandwiches.
“What do we say?” her mother prompted.
“Thank you!” Mandy told Max and Billie with a grin.
“No problem. We’ll leave you to your lunch.” Billie grinned back. “Happy holidays.”
“Happy holidays!” She snuggled her rabbit closer and waved as Max and Billie stepped out into the hallway.
“That was so sweet, what you did with her rabbit,” Billie said as they walked to the next room.
“I thought it might be nice for her to have a toy that looked like her.”
Billie’s heart warmed. “Clearly, you were right. She was so excited, and I’m impressed.”
Max shrugged. “ She’s the one who’s really impressive. She’s six years old, in the hospital for Christmas, and clearly not feeling well, but she still smiled and was excited to see us.”
“You’ll see a lot of that today. Kids are amazing.”
Max nodded. “I believe it. So, who’s next?”
“Follow me.”
For the rest of the afternoon, Billie and Max went from room to room, giving out gifts, talking to the kids, and offering food from Bluebell Diner. Billie saw the softer side of Max once again. He had time to talk to and play with every child they met, even though the cameras weren’t rolling. He swapped puns with a ten-year-old boy in a wheelchair and even watched part of an episode of Bluey with a three-year-old who was too tired to talk much.
As she watched Max play and interact with the kids, Billie felt her heart softening. When they’d first met, he’d really seemed like a detached jerk, but the more she got to know him, the more she saw that he really did care. Maybe he still wasn’t a fan of Christmas, but he was sweet and understanding with the kids. It was the time he’d searched everywhere for the Sunshine Sparkle Alpaca — times five.
When they finally said goodbye to the last of the kids and headed out to the garage, they were both exhausted yet in good moods.
“Thanks for staying,” Billie said.
“Of course. It was… good publicity.”
Billie rolled her eyes. “Come on. There were no cameras for half of it, and I know you didn’t like the idea of working with me as a publicity stunt anyway. You enjoyed yourself.”
“Maybe.”
“And it felt nice to do something good.”
“Don’t push it.” Max winked. “But really, I’m glad we could spend the afternoon with the kids. Do you visit the hospital other times of the year?”
“Sweetest Surprise does have a program in which we train volunteers to read to and play with hospitalized kids. I go with them sometimes, but mostly I’m too busy at the center. Managing the whole charity means I don’t get to spend as much time with the kids as I’d like.”
“It’s hard to be the boss.” Max smiled at her. “But you clearly do a wonderful job. I’m impressed at how well you organized everything.”
“It’s not my first rodeo. You should have seen the first year I tried to distribute Christmas gifts. I only went to a dozen or so families and I still ended up running late and driving back and forth all over town. Now I give volunteers maps of specific areas, and everything is much smoother.”
“You don’t do deliveries yourself?”
“I do about half of the deliveries — whatever the volunteers can’t cover. Christmas Eve always ends up being a very busy day.”
“I can imagine.” Max glanced at his phone. “Okay, I need to go. But first, did you like the food?”
“The food?” Billie frowned.
“Yeah, the food from Bluebell that I brought.”
“Oh!” Billie laughed. “I didn’t get a chance to try it.”
“Come on.” Max grinned. “All right, I’m putting my foot down. There’s a new location opening in Colorado Springs in a few days, and I’m going to the opening. Come with me. You need to try my food.”
Billie tried to ignore the warm feeling in her chest at the invitation. Surely, Max meant this as nothing more than a kind gesture to a friend. “All right. I can do that.”
“Wonderful. I’ll send you all the details.”
“Okay.” Billie bit her lip. “See you then.”
“Bye.” Max got into his car, and Billie followed suit. After he drove away, though, she sat in the parking lot for a little while longer. Why did Max have to be so complicated? It had been easy to put aside her feelings after their night together when he’d seemed like such a jerk, but now…
Now it was harder to ignore the fact that she was attracted to him. Max was not only handsome and successful, but also caring and thoughtful. It was a very appealing combination that left Billie wishing she could spend more time with him. Maybe even another night together.
She sighed. That was still impossible. She and Max were partners — and, despite his invitation to dinner, he probably didn’t feel the same way about her.
Plus, even if he’d helped her wrap gifts and been nice to a few kids, he still believed in profits over charity and didn’t see eye to eye with Billie on most things. It was best to focus on the Christmas program — and, apparently, on a dinner at the Bluebell Diner with a man she couldn’t allow herself to have any romantic feelings for. A dinner that, in retrospect, Billie probably shouldn’t have agreed to.