35. Mia
Chapter 35
Mia
I didn’t hear Ian come in last night, nor did I feel him climb into bed with me, but I’m apparently drawn to him because I’m splayed across his chest listening to his heartbeat with one of my arms draped across his abdomen and one of my legs lying across his thigh. His arm is tightly wrapped around me, and I feel safe.
When I got home last night, my emotions were all over the place. At first, I was feeling defeated. Listening to those women talk about me made me realize I will never fit into Ian’s world. I'm just not like them, and they would never accept me as I am.
Then I thought about the lack of time Ian has in his life to be my partner. His company is as successful as it is because he’s dedicated his life to building it... all of his life. There’s only so many hours in a day and he already doesn’t sleep enough as it is. He doesn’t have the time for the type of relationship I’m looking for—hoping for. Want. Need.
The financial difference between us is monumental—obviously. He has billions. I have, well, before all this fake fiancé stuff, hundreds. That’s it. Hundreds. Would I ever feel like I could contribute, or would I feel like one of those women from yesterday that just wants to mooch off Ian?
Finally, finally —my rational voice spoke up and started screaming at me to shut the hell up and get my head out of my ass. That voice in my head became louder and louder until I looked at myself in the mirror and chanted like I did back in high school.
I am worthy.
I am beautiful.
I am capable.
I repeated those words repeatedly until the fear inside of me started to subside. It’s another television therapy technique I picked up one day, and it’s worked for me many times throughout my life. Repeating these three sentences while looking at myself in the mirror, I remind my insecure voice that it is not in charge.
Deciding what I want from Ian, if he’ll have me, I stole another one of his shirts to sleep in and then crawled into his bed. I figured that if he didn’t really want me here, then he’ll kick me out when he got home. But here I am, all tucked into his arms, and I couldn’t be happier.
That insecure voice can go suck it.
“Hey there.” I hear him whisper. “You’re awake.”
I nod my head without looking up at him. I’m almost afraid to look into his eyes, just in case he really doesn’t want me here. It’s dark in his bedroom even though it must be morning, but Ian’s room also has a NASA remote, so last night I closed the room-darkening curtains. There’s not much light getting in, but I’m pretty sure its morning.
Ian tilts my chin up with his knuckle. “You okay?”
Seeing his eyes and the worry he has in them for me soothes my fears. “I’m good.”
He kisses my forehead. “I was surprised to find you in my bed last night when I got home.”
I try to sit up, but he holds me down with his arm that is wrapped around me. “Do you want me to leave?”
“Mia, I never want you to leave. Ever .” The tone of his voice sounds funny to me, and I pull myself up out of his arms and this time he lets me.
Ian follows my lead, sitting up and leans against the headboard. He takes my hand into his as I sit cross-legged, facing him. “Ian, I think it’s time we had a real talk.” Rushing out the words, “It doesn’t have to be today since I know you have to leave soon b...”
“Come with me,” Ian interrupts. “Come with me to New York. I can finish with the Sutherland deal and then extend the trip a few days and I can show you the town. We can take in a show on Broadway, see the Statue of Liberty, whatever you want to do; just come with me, Mia.”
As he’s inviting me to New York, I shake my head. “I can’t go with you. I have things to do for work today and I’ve got meetings with some new vendors at my shop tomorrow.”
He nods his head, looking down at our conjoined hands, playing with my engagement ring. “I want to do this, Mia. You and me. I want to be with you.”
Hearing his words finally squashes my insecure voice until it’s nothing but dust. “I want that, too, Ian, but we have a lot to talk about.”
He pulls my hand that he’s holding so that I fall into his arms. “Then let’s talk. Right here, right now.”
As I fall into his arms, I glance at the clock on the nightstand. “Don’t you have to leave soon?”
He snuggles me into his arms and gets us both situated so that I’m leaning against his chest—my back to his front with his arms wrapped around me and my head tucked under his chin. “I don’t care, Mia. You’re more important. Let’s talk. You go first; tell me what you want.”
I don’t want to go first, but I do anyway. Taking a deep breath in, I begin the conversation of a lifetime.
“Ian, my entire life, I’ve always wanted to find a family of my own. It’s something I’ve never really had, but always wanted. After James, I figured that it just wasn’t in my DNA, but that little girl that watched television and saw those TV families still lives inside of me and she has hope. The last two weeks with you have been some of the best days of my life.” I sit forward suddenly so I can look him in the eyes to get my point across. “And it has nothing to do with your money or the money you’ve given me.”
I stare at him until he nods his understanding. “I mean it, Ian. Your money means nothing to me in any way, shape, or form.”
“I know, Mia. I’ve known that since that parking lot date where you tried to pay me back for dinner.” His small smile is adorable.
“Good.” I continue, “You’ve given me the chance to realize my dreams and I could never repay you for that, but I want more.”
“More what?” His eyebrows furrow.
I look down at our hands and then back into his eyes, “More you.”
“I can give you more, Mia.”
Smiling a small smile, I shake my head. “No, you can’t, Ian. And that’s okay. I get it. You have an empire to run. It’s who you are, and I would never ask you to change that. Never.”
He shakes his head. “Don’t do this, Mia. Please, don’t do this.” The pleading in his voice almost breaks my heart.
As I caress his cheek, he leans into my touch. “I’m not, Ian. I’m willing to take what I can get from you because I’ve fallen in love with you, Mr. Gallo.”
His eyes widen as his hands wrap around my cheek. “Say it again.” He whispers, as if he doesn’t believe me.
“I love you.”
His forehead touches mine. “I’ve loved you forever, Mia McIntosh. I just didn’t know it for sure until last night when I found you in my bed.”
“Last night?”
As he nods, both of our heads move. “Last night for sure, but I’ve known since the moment you couldn’t open the door to my office that there was something so special about you that I had to be in your orbit.”
He kisses me gently and pulls back so that we can see eye to eye. “Mia, I can give you more. I’ve already taken steps to do just that.”
“What do you mean? What have you done?” I’m not sure what’s happening, but a small bit of fear is growing in the pit of my stomach.
“I know I work too much. As you said, it’s in my DNA.”
I try to interrupt him, but he places his finger over my mouth. “Hush. It’s my turn.”
I nod and let him finish.
“But every time I try to get lost in work, all I think about is you. What are you doing? Where are you? Who are you with? What can I do to make you smile?” He laughs, “It’s all I can do to just get through the day, and that’s when I realized I can’t do both.”
“Don’t, Ian.” I warn.
He shakes his head, mimicking me. “I’m not, Mia. But I am going to let things go a bit. It’s time for me to rely on my team, which is a great team, by the way, to handle some of the load.”
“What are you saying?”
He pushes some of my hair behind my ears. “What I’m saying is that I’m making the time for ‘more’. Actually, I’ve already started. Once this merger is signed, I’m handing the reins over to Michael Scott, one of my Vice-Presidents in the New York region. He’s a good man and has great business sense.”
“Really?”
“Yep, and I’m doing that to a lot of my businesses, and I got the idea from you.”
“Me? How?” I don’t remember ever talking about any of this.
“Well, you had mentioned the other day that you were going to give the students at the design college a chance to work with your shop, and that got me thinking. Why not do the same thing with my team? They’re all perfectly capable of handling a lot of the day-to-day stuff, and it’s not like I’m going anywhere. I’ll just guide them; mentor them. At the same time, let my ‘empire’, as you put it,” he uses air quotes, “build and diversify.” He shrugs his shoulders. “That’ll give me more free time I hope to be spending with you. What do you think?”
Ian looks nervous, and suddenly I realize that my opinion is really important to him. Just as his opinion matters to me. “You’re not doing all of this because of me, are you?”
“Nope.”
I release my breath, relieved. “Good.”
“I’m doing it for you, Mia, for us. Because I love you, too.”