1
“What?”
Kade exploded. “How could you disappoint any man?”
“I was a bad bargain for him. He wanted a child, a son. And I was never able to conceive. He got checked and he was fertile. I…wasn’t,”
she answered, agony spilling from her words. “He was a very traditional Indian man and didn’t believe in divorce. But I had to leave the marriage. It wasn’t…good,”
she whispered huskily, shuddering as she added, “I divorced him.”
“And he left you destitute?”
Kade asked angrily, but his touch was gentle as he clasped her by the shoulders.
“It was my choice. I didn’t think past escaping. I wanted out. I had to get out.”
Asha finished on a sob, her heart feeling like it had been torn from her chest. Had there ever been a time in her life where she hadn’t felt unwanted, unloved? If there was, she couldn’t remember it. She’d been happier since her divorce—traveling from place to place, taking jobs where she could get them—than she’d ever been in her entire life. Yes, she’d been alone, scrambling to survive, but the physical and emotional pain had subsided, and she felt like she had almost regained her sanity. “My foster parents no longer speak to me. Divorce isn’t something that’s accepted well in Indian culture, and I didn’t fulfill the agreement my foster father made with my ex-husband.”
Kade backed her up against the kitchen counter, his eyes flashing blue fire. “You’re a woman. A beautiful, talented woman. You aren’t a possession to be sold. Fuck! What kind of man does something like that? How can any of them sleep at night not knowing whether or not you’re safe and happy?”
Asha bowed her head. “I humiliated all of them. They don’t care.”
Tears started flowing down her cheeks unchecked, her bottled-up emotions exploding from their hiding place.
Kade grasped her chin and forced her head up. His expression was fierce as he answered tightly. “No woman should ever be sold off and they had no right to expect anything from you. Their problems weren’t yours. They took on the responsibility of being foster parents willingly. And they got money to take care of you. That’s probably why they never adopted you. You were barely grown when they sold you off. You should have had the opportunity to live, to get an education if you wanted it. Dammit, you should have had choices!”
Asha watched Kade’s ferocious expression, but she wasn’t afraid. He was actually championing her, defending her rights as a woman. Unfortunately, he didn’t understand Indian culture. “I might be American, but I was raised Indian, Kade. We’re motivated by duty and guilt.”
Was that dysfunctional? Yep. But it was hard to shake the things she’d been taught as a child and a young woman. It had taken her twenty-five years to be brave enough to break from tradition and escape a horrific marriage, and it still wasn’t easy. Shame and guilt still haunted her sometimes. “Since my divorce, I’ve tried to break free and find the American side of my heritage. But it’s still difficult sometimes. I move around a lot and it’s hard to make friends. I’m still learning to be an American.”
Kade moved closer, crowding her, his muscular, hot body pressed against hers. His arms enfolded her as he whispered hotly against her temple, “And was it all a duty? Was being married a duty? Or did your ex love you?”
Asha shuddered, unable to keep herself from wrapping her arms around Kade’s neck as her tears continued to fall. “He didn’t love me. He wanted a child,”
she murmured against his chest. “He couldn’t divorce me, but I wasn’t what he wanted. He went into rages over the situation and it made the marriage difficult. Image was everything to him, and I couldn’t provide him with a family.”
Kade’s jaw muscles were twitching, his body tensed as he said hoarsely, “Please tell me he didn’t hurt you. Tell me he never laid a finger on you or blamed you.”
Asha lowered her head. “I can’t. It would be a lie, and you’ve done too much for me to lie to you. You were right. I was running away. I’ve been running since I left him.”
“Is he threatening you? Has he contacted you?”
Kade asked anxiously, his tone furious.
“I don’t think he knows where I am and I doubt he cares. He contacted a few of my former clients where we lived in California looking for me, so I hid until the divorce was final and then I ran. I’ve been traveling ever since then,”
she admitted quietly. “It got bad when I started taking on jobs. He didn’t want me to work outside the home.”
“What about your website?”
“He didn’t know,”
Asha admitted. “He would have put a stop to it.”
Kade pulled his head back and tilted her chin to look at her face. “Tell me where he is,”
he demanded, his voice low and deadly. “I’ll kill the bastard.”
“No!”
Asha exclaimed loudly. “All I want is peace. I want to forget. Please.”
The fact that this man would defend her made her chest tighten in gratitude, but she didn’t want Kade involved in her past. “It’s over. I’m free. That’s all I ever wanted.”
“Did you get any help?”
“I spent the time waiting for my divorce in a woman’s shelter. They helped me as much as they could. I went to their counseling, but I’m still struggling to get free of my past, I guess. I took jobs out of state to get away, start again.”
“Was he fucking crazy? Didn’t he realize what he had?”
Kade replied fiercely. “It’s goddamn lonely to be with someone who doesn’t give a shit, but I can’t stand the fact that he actually intentionally hurt you.”
Looking into his liquid blue eyes, she said hesitantly, “You sound like you know what it feels like to be with someone who doesn’t care?”
“I do. My girlfriend of ten years dumped me when I was in the ICU after my accident because I wasn’t what she had bargained for, because I wasn’t able to fulfill her ideal. I do fucking know what it feels like, and it sucks. But I wasn’t powerless. I had money and I had family and friends.”
Asha’s heartbeat accelerated and she could sense Kade’s anger and the same sense of betrayal she had felt when Ravi had basically written her off and made her his target of rage because she couldn’t produce a child. “Then she wasn’t worthy of you. If something so superficial turned her away, then you’re better off without her,”
Asha answered adamantly. Kade was a man worth keeping, whatever the circumstances. Didn’t his ex-girlfriend understand that he was the type of man most women longed to have, a man who was constant and would care, no matter the circumstances? “You deserved so much better than that,”
she said sincerely, placing her palm against his whiskered jaw.
Kade’s eyes turned molten and hot, his nostrils flaring as he asked hoarsely, “How do you sleep with someone whose only objective is to get you pregnant and beats you up?”
Asha shrugged uncomfortably. “I was his wife,”
she said matter-of-factly. “It was my duty, and if I’d refused, it would have been worse. It was usually over with pretty quickly.”
She didn’t want to mention that she wasn’t left with much of a choice. If Ravi wanted sex, he took it. The few times she’d tried to fight it, he’d almost knocked her unconscious.
“That isn’t the way it’s supposed to happen, sweetheart.”
Kade’s hand left her face, his fingers sliding sensuously through her hair. “You’re a woman who’s meant to be savored, a woman a man wants to pleasure. There’s nothing that would give me more satisfaction than to watch you come. Hard.”
His words shot straight from her fluttering belly to her core, moisture flooding between her thighs as she saw the desire in his eyes. Her cheeks were red with embarrassment, but there was raw passion raging through her body, making her unable to look away from his carnal expression. “How do you watch that when it’s dark?”
she asked, unable to tamp down her curiosity. “He was the only man I’ve ever been with and it always happened quickly, with the lights off.”
“Shit! Didn’t he ever make you climax?”
Kade brought his hand to her ass and pulled her unresisting lower body against his hardness.
Asha’s mouth dropped open with need as much as surprise. He was hard and wanting, the rest of his body as hot for her as his eyes. “No,”
she admitted, mesmerized and unable to stay away from the unknown force that drew her to Kade. “It was dark, and it was over in a minute or two.”
“Baby, you should never be taken in the dark,”
Kade answered, annoyed. “Do you know you look just like the picture of yourself in your portfolio? Ripe, needy, and ready to be taken and satisfied.”
Asha knew exactly what picture he was talking about. “You looked at my drawings,”
she accused, feeling naked and exposed. That drawing was all about her yearning, her craving for something that didn’t exist.
“Someone? Sometime? Somewhere?”
Kade verified gruffly. “I have the answers to those questions.
“Me,”
he whispered hoarsely as his lips explored the sensitive shell of her ear, his hot breath making her shiver.
“Now,”
he added, his fingers spearing into her hair and his hand pulling her ass up harder against his engorged cock.
“Right fucking here,”
he finished with a masculine groan, his lips sweeping down to capture hers.
Kade’s scorching mouth sucked the breath right out of her body. Asha moaned against his lips and opened automatically, her need for this, for him, insatiable. She probably had looked exactly like her self-portrait, because her need was intense and unstoppable, and now Kade was delivering what she wanted with every stroke of his tongue. He kissed like a man possessed, a man determined to conquer and dominate, and she responded with equal desire. Her fingers threaded in his hair and stroked down his neck, needing to touch him as much as he seemed to need to touch her. Asha felt captured, enraptured, and dominated, his hot, muscular body pressed into hers. But she reveled in it, in him. He savored her mouth, his need urgent, but his tongue explored every recess of her mouth like he needed to be acquainted with every inch of it. He vibrated with a masculine growl as she pushed back, as eager to explore the kiss as he, reveling in her freedom to taste him. Knowing Kade wanted her was heady, a pleasure that mesmerized her, filled an emptiness inside her that had been there as long as she could remember.
Kade. Kade. Kade.
Her hips moved forward, her pussy trying to get closer to his engorged member, cursing the layers of denim between them.
Closer. I need to get closer.
Asha knew she was drowning, losing control, but she gave herself over to Kade without a coherent thought, the needs of her body taking priority. She tore her mouth from his and begged, “Please. Oh, please,”
she panted, needing more, frantic for more.
Kade lifted her easily onto the kitchen counter, bringing her breasts directly in front of his face. She gasped as he tore off the buttons of her shirt to get it open. Scantily endowed, she had gone braless, and the cool air hitting her sensitive, pebbled nipples was a shock.
“My shirt,”
she murmured breathlessly, more embarrassed about her small breasts being revealed than the actual clothing.
“I bought you more,”
Kade growled as his mouth sought and found one breast, his other hand coming up to tease the other.
Asha cradled his head against her breast, still panting with need. “Kade. Please.”
His fingers and mouth nipped, pinched, and then stroked, driving her need too high, too desperate. Her head fell back against the cupboard, her body feeling like liquid fire as Kade’s mouth devoured her breasts, switching from one to the other, as though he wanted to own them both.
She whimpered, her hands on his shoulders to keep herself from crumpling on the counter.
“You’re so beautiful, Asha. So sweet I could lick and taste every inch of you and still want more,”
Kade hissed, his tongue teasing her nipple.
“Small breasts,”
she said disjointedly, unable to concentrate on anything except Kade’s heated torture.
“Perfect,”
he insisted, his hands cupping her breasts, each thumb teasing a nipple.
Asha squirmed on the counter, the heat and need pulsating between her thighs unbearable. “I need…”
she groaned, not quite sure exactly what she needed to make her body stop quivering.
“I know what you need,”
Kade answered, his voice low and sultry, his heated breath against her neck. “You need a man to make you come. And that man is going to be me.”
Asha shuddered as she felt his hand move slowly down her belly, caressing her naked skin as he moved lower and lower. The button on her jeans popped open, the zipper yanked down impatiently, and suddenly, Kade’s fingers were there where she needed them, gliding easily through her wet folds and zeroing in on her clit. Each stroke of his talented fingers drew a ragged moan from her lips. She closed her eyes, the pleasure so sharp and intense that it nearly made her come undone. “Yes,”
she whispered. “Touch me.”
Opening her thighs wider, she wrapped her legs around Kade’s hips, thrusting forward with every stroke of his fingers.
“I don’t know if I can take this.”
Asha’s chest was heaving, her entire body quaking with the intensity of her impending climax.
Cupping the back of her head, Kade demanded, “Take it, Asha. Enjoy the ride. Look at me.”
Her eyes opened obediently, her whole body going up in flames as her gaze met his, the blue fire shooting from his eyes nearly incinerating her.
“Come for me, sweetheart. You’re so wet, so fucking hot. Take what you need and let it all go.”
Kade was relentless, his fingers repeatedly stroking over her clit, teasing her into a frenzy of hot, jumbled need. His will was strong, and Asha could feel his determination. In the end, she had very little choice but to let her climax roll over her, unable to hold back her moans and whimpers as it rocked her body helplessly. “Kade,”
she groaned as she finally closed her eyes, unable to bear the intense look on his handsome face. “Too much.”
He kept stroking her as her orgasm subsided, extending it, while his lips captured hers in a kiss, a masculine groan escaping right before he clamped his mouth to hers.
Wrapping her arms around his neck, she kissed him like her life depended on it, savoring the taste of him, wishing she could crawl inside him and never come out again.
Ending the passionate embrace, Kade pulled her shivering body against his and cradled her head against his heaving chest. Both his arms wrapped around her like steel bands, holding her against him like she was someone precious to him. And for just a few moments in time, Asha let herself luxuriate in the feel of his body, revel in the sense of belonging. Trying to turn off her brain that was telling her that what had just happened wasn’t right, Asha let her heart lead for once in her life, and wrapped her arms around Kade’s ripped, strong body, letting him hold her close. Maybe it was a false sense of protection, but it felt so good that she didn’t want it to end.
“Best damn thing in the world,”
Kade said in a cocky, masculine whisper against her ear.
“What?”
she murmured, confused.
“That’s how you watch a woman come, sweetheart,”
Kade answered arrogantly. “And it’s fucking fantastic.”
Knowing she should probably be mortified because she’d just let a man she barely knew bring her to climax in the middle of the day on a kitchen counter, Asha opened her mouth to chastise him for his arrogance. But then she closed it again, no words spoken. Honestly, she couldn’t answer. He was right. It had been better than good. Kade had rocked her world, and something told her she’d never be the same again.
Finally, she simply said, “Thank you.”
“For what?”
Kade asked, confused.
Asha wasn’t sure she could really explain, wasn’t sure exactly how to express the way she felt. “For making me feel like a desirable woman,”
she answered simply. How long had she felt broken and defective because her female organs were incapable of producing a child? “I don’t feel so damaged anymore.”
Kade’s arms tightened around her reflexively. “If you think you’re damaged, you should see my fucked-up leg,”
he grumbled.
“You should see my screwed-up lady parts,”
she retorted lightly, trying to make fun of herself to take Kade’s mind off his injury. Honestly, she’d never seen her damaged parts. She just knew she was internally flawed.
“If that’s an invitation, I’d be more than happy to see them,”
Kade’s sexy baritone voice offered hopefully. “They all felt perfect to me, but I’d love to do a closer examination.”
Realizing exactly what she’d said to distract him, Asha laughed delightedly, beginning to feel a feminine power that she’d never experienced before. Her laughter ended in a short cough, a little residual effect of her illness.
“Dammit. I forgot that you’re still sick,”
Kade said as though he were irritated with himself.
“I’m fine,”
she told him adamantly.
Kade lifted her gently from the counter, letting her slide down his body before she found her feet. “You’ll rest before we eat dinner,”
he replied anxiously, righting her clothes before taking her hand and tugging her gently to lead her out of the kitchen.
Asha barely had time to scoop up her purse and bag before she followed him.
“I can find a place to stay, Kade. You don’t have to put me up while I’m working,”
Asha said nervously.
The hair at back of Kade’s neck stood on end. The thought of Asha wandering around Tampa, looking for a place to stay, while still not fully recovered from her pneumonia, made him want to throw her over his shoulder and deposit her in his bed with him there to watch over her. There was no fucking way she was leaving his house right now. Finding out she had been abused by her asshole of an ex-husband had nearly made him come unglued. “You’re staying,”
he answered simply. “And you’re not a damn employee. You’re a guest.”
Kade passed his own bedroom regrettably, leading her to the room across from his and opening the door. It was only room he’d skipped on their tour. He smiled as he entered, knowing immediately that Mia and Maddie had been here. It was the only room in his entire house liberally splashed with color. “Your room,”
he told Asha, completely certain he was going to be hard every single night knowing she was sleeping across the hall from him. He was used to her draping her sweet body over his, seeking him out in her sleep. Fuck! He was going to miss that. But he needed to stop pushing her, needed to let her get used to him and his world. Stubbornly, he wanted her to come to him, want him. Having her here would be both heaven and hell, but after finding out about her abuse, he needed to stifle his caveman instincts.
Her mouth dropped open as she moved slowly forward, her eyes darting around the room. “It’s beautiful,”
she said reverently as her hand smoothed over the colorful quilt on the king-sized bed.
Mia and Maddie had outdone themselves. Bright pictures and wall-hangings decorated the walls, and the quilt she was stroking had every color of the rainbow bursting from the material. Kade opened the closet, already knowing what he would find. He’d asked Mia and Maddie to fix up his guest room and make it as happy and colorful as possible. Giving them Asha’s size from her spare clothing, he’d also requested that they stock her some clothes. Judging by the full closet, they’d taken his request seriously. “Mia and Maddie got you some clothes.”
Asha turned and looked at the closet, coming up beside him to finger the materials. “Which ones?”
she asked cautiously.
“All of them are yours. I let my sister and Maddie pick them out. I just told them you like colorful things.”
“Why would they do this?”
Asha said uncomfortably, holding her buttonless shirt closed with her hand.
“I’ve seen them. I’ve played with them. I’ve had my mouth on them, which was one of the most amazing moments of my life. You don’t have to hide your breasts from me,”
he told her, amused.
Asha’s face flushed from his comment, but she didn’t acknowledge it. “I can’t accept these. Every one of these is designer labeled. My whole wardrobe has never been worth what one single shirt in this collection costs,”
Asha told him adamantly, looking up at him with a frown. “Why would someone I don’t know buy me clothes?”
Her brow crinkled when she was upset, making Kade want to smooth it out with his fingers and lips. “Because I asked them to do it and they wanted to do it. You don’t like the outfits?”
“They’re beautiful, but I can’t accept. You’ve done far too much for me, and you already gave me gifts.”
“Yeah, you can. They were a gift from your sister. And there isn’t a limit on giving gifts.”
The stubborn woman needed clothes, and she was taking them.
“I don’t have a sister,”
Asha answered warily.
“You do have a sister and a brother. And these are just clothes. It’s not a big deal. If it makes you feel any better, Maddie married one of the richest men in the world, Sam Hudson. She wanted to do this for you.”
Kade knew Asha already knew the details about her probable siblings, but she obviously wasn’t ready to accept the reality. He didn’t have a doubt in his mind that she was related to Max and Maddie. Her mother had the same maiden name, and Asha had showed him a photo of her mother with her natural father, a picture that showed an older, but very similar, version of the photo that Max had of his natural mother, Alice. “Why is it so hard to accept that Max and Maddie are your sister and brother? I know it’s a shock. Maddie was surprised to find Max. But she was happy.”
Asha’s eyes started to water, and she turned her back on him and sat gingerly on the bed. “I’ve never had family. My foster parents fed me and clothed me, but I was never really one of them. They took me in before they had two children of their own. I never really belonged, and I felt the distance. It’s hard to explain without sounding like I’m feeling sorry for myself. I’m grateful to them. But I was never really part of the family.”
Tears flowed down her cheeks, her eyes guarded. “I’m afraid, scared to believe in something that might not be true. What if I love them and they don’t love me back? What if I’m not really their sister?”
Kade’s chest tightened as he looked at Asha, small and vulnerable, yet strong enough to walk away from a relationship with nothing in order to save herself and her sanity. Had anyone ever cared about her unconditionally, just because she was an incredible woman? “You are their sister. And they’ll love you back.”
How could they not? “Trust me,”
he asked her huskily, knowing trust probably wouldn’t come easy for her, but he wanted it pretty damn desperately. In fact, he was beginning to covet it more than anything else he’d ever wanted.
Asha crossed her legs on the bed, her bare feet peeking out from under her jean-clad legs. She looked up at him wistfully. “Even if we are related, we’re so different. They’re incredibly wealthy and I’m used to being poor. They’re American and I’m Indian—”
“You’re American, too,”
Kade growled, annoyed that Asha saw herself as “less than”
compared to her siblings. “And even if you weren’t, it wouldn’t matter.”
“We were raised in different cultures. And they both look like our mother,”
Asha answered quietly.
“Maddie was a foster child, passed around from family to family, none of them giving a shit about her. She worked her ass off to get through medical school, and she had no family either until Max found her.”
Kade sat down on the bed and pulled Asha into his lap. “She’s excited about having a sister. And so is Max.”
“Poor Maddie,”
Asha whispered sympathetically. “Is she really happy now? Is Max?”
Kade’s lips turned up in a small smile as he looked at Asha’s troubled expression, touched by how quickly Asha could feel remorse about Maddie’s earlier circumstances. She had a huge heart, just like Maddie. She was more like her sister than she knew. He’d told her everything about Max and Mia’s life, including the torture Max had suffered when Mia had disappeared for two years and was assumed dead. He’d seen the same sweet concern when he’d told her about that horrible time in all their lives.
“They’re both ecstatically happy,”
Kade assured her, stroking the silky hair from Asha’s face. “They each married their soul mate. But neither one of them exactly had it easy. And they aren’t so different from you. Their difficulties were just different. They never really had family either, Asha. Give them a chance.”
Give me a chance, too.
Kade knew he was far from being emotionally healthy, but damned if he didn’t feel like being with Asha was healing some of his emotional wounds from his past.
She’s mine.
“Do you believe in soul mates, relationships like Maddie and Max have with Mia and Sam? Do you believe there’s one person in every life made just for you?”
Asha asked softly.
A few weeks ago, Kade would have answered with a resounding “hell no.”
He’d always been the first one to give Max and Sam hell for being so nauseatingly sappy about their wives. Now, he just didn’t know. He’d been mysteriously drawn to Asha even before he’d met her, through their game of cat and mouse, and then through her drawings. She was like a balm to his battered soul, a remedy for his loneliness. He’d never felt like that about a woman before, and it confounded him. “Yeah. Yeah, I think I do,”
he answered as he looked down into her eyes, losing himself in the swirling, molten brown of her gaze. Every cell in his body was calling out for him to claim her as his, and he had to clench his fists behind her back and in her hair to keep from stripping her naked and showing her what it was like to be really wanted by a man so desperately that he had to have her. He wanted to show her what it was like to be respected and cherished.
He didn’t care if she was related to Maddie and Max.
And he couldn’t care less if she couldn’t conceive a child.
He just wanted…her. And he wanted to stake his claim on her so badly that his big body shuddered with need.
“I think so, too. But what happens if you never find that person?”
she asked thoughtfully.
You’ve found him. You don’t need to keep looking. You belong with me.
“I think it just happens,”