3. 1
Maddie put her hands on her hips and shot Asha an amused look. “You do like him. But remember, he’s a man, so it’s impossible for him to be perfect.”
“Don’t you think Sam’s perfect?”
“Oh, God, no! He’s arrogant, bossy, and way overprotective. And I remind him of that frequently,”
Maddie answered with laughter in her voice. “But he’s also the man who stole my heart and wouldn’t give it back. My soul mate. He’s kind, loving, and there’s nothing he wouldn’t do to make me happy. And vice versa. So nope…he’s not perfect, but he’s perfect for me.”
Asha watched Maddie’s dreamy eyes and lovesick expression, happy that Maddie finally had the man of her dreams. “I’d like to meet him someday.”
“You will. Soon,”
Maddie promised. “He’s anxious to meet you, too. But he was afraid you’d be a little overwhelmed. Sam’s brother is married to my best friend, and Simon and Kara would like to meet you, too, when you’re feeling more comfortable.”
“Hey…where are you two? We’re eating,”
Max bellowed from downstairs.
Maddie and Asha looked at each other and giggled. Max sounded like an angry bear ready to pounce on his food.
“You okay?”
Maddie asked, putting her arm around Asha’s shoulders. “I know this is all really new for you, and probably confusing.”
“I’m good,”
Asha answered honestly. “I’m actually looking forward to doing some of the walls in this house. I think I’m still having a little culture conflict, caught between the way I was raised and what I really want. I want to be independent and strong, but I’m fighting my past baggage.”
“Everything will be okay, Asha. I promise. We’re all here to help you get whatever you want.”
Unfortunately, Asha wasn’t sure it was a case of “whatever she wanted”
and not “who she wanted”
but she wasn’t about to mention that to Maddie. She still had a long way to go before that butterfly was going to emerge and be liberated.
The two of them walked slowly toward the top of the stairs, Asha gently grabbing Maddie’s arm before she descended the stairs. “Is there any way we can find out for sure that there’s no mistake, that we’re really sisters?”
Maddie’s brows drew together as she searched Asha’s face. “I know you’re my sister.”
“I want to know for sure. Can we do it?”
If anyone would know, it was Maddie. She was a doctor, and if there was a way to see scientific proof, Maddie would know.
“We can do mitochondrial DNA testing since we’re just trying to see if we all have the same mother, but we already know we do,”
Maddie said, her tone puzzled. “I don’t need any more proof, Asha. I feel it the same as Max does, and we have plenty of proof.”
“I guess it’s hard for me to believe,”
Asha said, shaking her head.
Maddie smoothed back Asha’s black hair, placing an errant lock gently behind her ear. “We can do the test. I already know what the results will be because I feel it. I hope someday you’ll feel it, too.”
Asha did feel it, but she was afraid to believe anything she couldn’t prove with scientific evidence. She wanted to tell Maddie that she already felt like her sister, that the bond was already there. But the uncertainty was still there, and she hated it. Why couldn’t she believe her gut instinct? Maybe because she’d never listened to it before?
“It’s no big deal. We’ll do the test,”
Maddie told her gently, starting down the stairs with her arm around Asha’s shoulders. “Have Kade bring you to the clinic and we’ll take care of it.”
“I know it’s stupid to ask for it—”
“No, it’s not,”
Maddie scolded. “Never feel stupid for asking for something you want. You have the right to your own feelings. And don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise.”
Asha smiled at Maddie’s maternal tone, knowing immediately that her sister was going to make a great mom. Her kids would be strong, brave…and secure. “I’ll try to remember that,”
she answered, her lips curving upward.
“Make sure you do,”
Maddie replied, hugging Asha tightly when they got to the bottom of the stairs. “We’ll do the test, but you are my sister, so you better get used to my unsolicited sisterly advice.”
The two women smiled at each other, the bond between them growing even stronger, clicking securely in place.
“It’s about damn time,”
Max grumbled as he came out of the dining room and wrapped an arm around both of his sisters. “I was about to waste away from starvation,”
he continued melodramatically.
“I see you managed to stay alive,”
Maddie said drily as she wrapped her arm around Max’s waist. “You could have gone ahead without us.”
“No appreciation for the way Kade and I slaved away in the kitchen,”
he grumbled goodheartedly.
Asha’s heart was light as she continued to watch the sibling banter between Max and Maddie. Her arm slowly crept around Max’s waist silently, starting to feel like she was part of the family bond.
“Are you going to be unappreciative, too, Asha?”
Max questioned, smiling down at Asha as all three of them walked toward the dining room.
Asha relished his teasing. It was something she’d never had or done before. “It depends on how good the dinner is,”
she answered cheekily, trying out her bantering skills for the first time.
“Great. Now I’m really screwed. Two female siblings against me,”
Max bemoaned, but his buoyant tone belied his words.
Asha grinned as they arrived in the dining room, the fragrant smell of grilled chicken and the sight of the table full of food making her stomach growl.
Meeting Kade’s pensive gaze, she smiled at him, trying to let him know silently that everything was okay.
He grinned back at her, his gorgeous blue eyes lighting up as he winked at her.
God, he was handsome. And she sat directly across from him at the table. She’d never had a better dinner with such a colorful and glorious view. He flirted with her outrageously, making her cheeks flush and causing the others to shoot her questioning looks. But the meal was boisterous and full of laughter, so unlike anything she’d ever experienced.
For Asha, it was her first real family dinner, and she tried to commit every detail to her memory for the future. She knew that moments like this, feeling this way, didn’t last forever, right?
Her eyes met and held with Kade’s, and he slowly nodded, as though he’d read her thoughts and was reassuring her that things could last for a lifetime. She sighed and lived for the moment, enjoyed the intimacy, and tried not to think about what the future might hold.
Because at the moment…everything was perfect.
Several nights later, Kade lay in his enormous bed, sore, sleepless, and frustrated. Unfortunately, someone had leaked the news story that the long-lost sister of Max Hamilton and Maddie Hudson had been found. He and Asha had been hounded by reporters all day and he hadn’t left the house. Instead, he had watched Asha create her designs on the wall of his home gym, his cock hard as granite, as he punished himself on the equipment. He’d tried like hell not to watch her, but he knew he’d been deluding himself, thinking he was only there to work out. Watching her had become a fascination he couldn’t stop, didn’t want to stop. Her whole body moved and swayed as she painted, every part of her involved in what she was creating. It was almost like watching her doing an exotic dance. The only thing hotter would have been if she’d taken her clothes off while she was doing it. But he had a vivid imagination, and damned if he couldn’t conjure up the images of her doing just that as he ogled her while pretending he was there to just do his daily workout, a workout that had taken all damn day. No wonder his whole body ached. Yeah, he was used to brutal workouts, but they usually didn’t last for eight damn hours.
Surprisingly, he was beginning to like the images she was creating on that wall. At first, he’d balked when she’d suggested painting a collection of his pictures from his football days in the gym. But Asha was passionate about her work, and she’d argued that he should celebrate his success as a football player and all he’d accomplished, remember all the things he’d done well when he was playing. She’d reminded him that football had been a big part of his life, and it was better to remember the pleasant things instead of dwelling on the negative. He’d relented, letting her have free rein to do whatever she wanted.
The images were copied from pictures of his glory days, and Asha brought them to life with her extraordinary talent. Rather than making him depressed about what he could no longer do, the paintings accented the camaraderie of the team, and the poignant moments he’d had with the guys from the Cougars. They were all happy, upbeat scenes that made him smile rather than making him feel depressed that he couldn’t play football anymore. Most of the men who were with him on the wall were retired now, and Kade suspected that Asha knew that; she had probably researched every photo. The design was an upbeat tribute to some great football players who had moved on to do other things with their life.
Smiling in the dark, Kade wondered if her project in that particular room was Asha’s way of telling him to celebrate, but move on. All of her designs meant something, and he was pretty sure she was trying to kick his ass into accepting reality and dealing with it via her artwork in the gym. Well, it was working, and he knew he needed to find a new purpose in his life. He just wished he knew exactly what it was.
Flipping onto his side, he punched his pillow, determined to get some sleep. He wouldn’t think about Asha lying in her bed, right across the hall from him. He wondered if she was still wearing the new nightgown he’d gotten her when she was sick, or if she’d graduated to what Maddie and Mia had bought her. He had to admit, his sister and Maddie had much better taste when it came to clothes. Even so, he loved seeing Asha in the clothing he’d bought her while she was sick, and he hadn’t yet seen her wear anything other than the shirts and jeans he’d bought her in Nashville—except for the day when Maddie, Max, and Mia had come visiting and he’d handed her one of the shirts his sister had bought.
His stomach growled, reverberating noisily under the covers.
“Shit! I’m hungry,”
he said irritably, knowing he wasn’t going to sleep anytime soon. He’d burned so much energy in the gym today that his body was clamoring for more food.
He tossed the sheets and blankets from his body and rose to his feet, striding to his bedroom door and yanking it open. He stopped for a moment, staring at Asha’s door. Everything was dark, including her room. There was no light under her door, and he flipped on the hall light and made his way downstairs, stopping abruptly at the entrance to the kitchen.
Kade could see a sliver of light coming from the refrigerator, and it illuminated Asha’s face as she stared at the contents within, a look of longing on her face.
What the hell is she doing?
Staying silent, the minutes ticked away as she seemed to be agonizing over something, but she didn’t reach for anything. She just stayed immobile, her eyes roving over the inside of the fridge.
Unable to stay quiet any longer, Kade flipped on the light, causing Asha to let out a surprised squeak and slam the refrigerator closed. Holding a hand over her chest, she told him nervously, “You scared me.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you. What the hell are you doing? And why didn’t you turn the light on? You could have hurt yourself skulking around in the dark,”
he grumbled, unhappy with the thought of Asha tumbling down the stairs because she couldn’t see where the hell she was going.
“I guess I didn’t think about it,”
she answered, agitated. “I’m sorry. I’ll go back to bed.”
“Were you hungry? I’m starving. Do you want something?”
he asked, walking to the fridge and opening the door. Mia had made sure the house was well-stocked with groceries before he came back from Nashville. Not only had she picked up the things he’d asked her to get for Asha, but she’d stocked up on groceries because he’d been gone for two months doing a favor for her husband.
“We already had dinner,”
Asha replied, shifting from one foot to the other nervously.
“Yeah. And it was delicious. But that was hours ago.”
Kade looked at Asha curiously. She had cooked tonight, making him some traditional Indian food, and he’d scarfed down the homemade dinner greedily. Asha was an excellent cook, but she hadn’t eaten much. Come to think of it…she rarely did. “I made a pig of myself on your food. Did you get enough to eat?”
he asked solemnly. “I thought there was food left over.”
“You mentioned you were going to eat it for lunch tomorrow,”
she said uncomfortably.
Kade thought back to other meals. He’d grilled again the night before, and she’d eaten sparsely then, too. “I meant I’d eat it if it was still around. I’m not picky. I’ll eat just about anything.”
Asha stayed mute, staring up at him, her dark eyes confused. “I didn’t want to eat your food.”
“Fuck,”
Kade growled, enlightenment finally hitting his thick skull. He grabbed her by the shoulders lightly, letting the door of the fridge close behind him. “Asha…please tell me you aren’t going hungry because you’re afraid to eat.”
Kade felt suddenly nauseated, a lump forming in his stomach. Something was seriously wrong with this situation, and the thought that she might be going hungry made him crazy.
Breaking away from him, she started to move away as she murmured, “I eat.”
Kade grasped her upper arm before she could move away, turning her back toward him. “Tell me what’s wrong. You don’t eat much, and you’re too thin. Are you still feeling sick?”
She shook her head. “No. I’m not sick. I just don’t want to eat more than my share,”
she retorted, her voice radiating with shame. “But I get hungry sometimes between meals.”
Kade could almost feel the heat of his anger radiating from his body. “Your share is eating until you’re stuffed, and then eating again whenever you’re hungry. You eat like a goddamn bird. Why?”
“Because I don’t want to eat food I haven’t paid for,”
she replied, her voice suddenly defensive and angry.
Kade grasped her shoulders, shaking her lightly. “Have I ever made you feel like anything other than a guest who has the run of this house? Have I ever denied you anything you needed? Have I ever made you feel like you couldn’t do any fucking thing you wanted here?”
he asked her angrily, although the fury was directed at himself. He should have noticed that she wasn’t eating enough. Problem was, he was used to being with Amy, and she ate mostly salad and lean meat to keep her model figure, but even she had splurged occasionally.
“No. Never. It isn’t you, Kade,”
she answered tremulously, her head lowered so all Kade could see was the top of her head.
“Then for Christ’s sake, tell me what it is, because the thought of you going hungry makes me want to punch myself for not noticing.”
Asha raised her head slowly, finally looking him in the eye. “My foster parents used to feed me measured portions. They said they only received so much money to be my foster parents, and I could only have what I was allotted because food was expensive. The younger children, her children, ate dinner first and I served the family. I ate whatever was left, or my portion…whichever was less.”
She took a shaky breath in and continued, “I did the same when I was married, trying to save money on food. I guess it became a habit. I wasn’t working for most of my marriage, so I didn’t want to cause Ravi more expense, especially since I wasn’t pregnant. I could get by with less food.”
Kade slammed his fist down on the kitchen table hard enough to cause the table to bounce on its thin wooden legs, making Asha jump at the violent sound. “Fuck! Tell me you’re joking!”
he begged angrily, rage pulsating through his body. “You were a damn servant for your foster family, and you ate scraps of food? Then you did the same when you were married…and your husband never said anything?”
It was unfathomable, and Kade’s whole body shuddered with fury.
She shrugged. “I didn’t want anything that I wasn’t entitled to have,”
she said meekly.
Kade exploded. “You’re entitled to eat, you were entitled to a fucking education because you have incredible talent, you’re entitled to be treated like a beloved daughter and wife. That includes your idiot foster parents and your asshole of an ex-husband making sure you have everything you want and need.”
Had everyone in her life done a number on her? Jesus Christ! The woman needed someone to teach her to feel worthy, and it was going to start with him.
Kade felt another stab of guilt as he thought about the look of longing on her face when he’d been watching her from the doorway. He’d neglected to see that in some of her habits, she was still conditioned to be a second-class citizen. Her foster parents had been evil, and her ex-husband was a selfish prick.
“Sit down,”
he demanded quietly, leading her to a chair and pulling it out for her.
She sat, asking anxiously, “Are you angry with me?”
Kade crouched beside her, wrapping an arm around her waist. “I’m angry at myself.”
He sighed heavily before continuing, “I want you to eat, Asha. I want you to eat whenever and whatever you want. There is no such thing as eating only what you think you deserve and going hungry in this house. My rule. I don’t give a shit what anyone told you. It kills me that you ever went hungry in my home.”
He rose and started yanking stuff from the cupboards and fridge. “I don’t cook a lot, but I make a great sandwich.”
“Let me help you.”
Asha made to leap up from her chair.
“Sit down,”
he answered stubbornly, pushing on her shoulder until her ass hit the seat of the chair again. “I’m serving this time.”
“It’s your house. You shouldn’t have to do this,”
Asha said uncomfortably.
“I want to.”
He wanted to pile food in front of her until she could barely see over the top of the mound. She’d eat, and then she’d eat some more. He never wanted to see that look of longing on her face again unless it was sexual. And he’d be more than willing to satiate that need, too.
He piled the sandwich high, loading it with every kind of fixings he could find. After placing it in front of her, he placed a napkin beside her plate. Rifling through the cupboard, he started piling various boxes of crackers and chips on the table.
What else?
“What were you looking at when I came in?”
he asked anxiously, ready to pile the whole damn refrigerator on the table.
“A chocolate cake,”
she answered in a hushed and somewhat awed voice. “One with strawberries and slices of dark chocolate on top of the frosting.”
Kade grinned. “The chocolate-strawberry torte. My favorite. Mia picked it up at our favorite bakery.”
He pulled it out and cut off two huge chunks and placed them on a plate, grabbed two forks and added the lot to the table. After pouring two tall glasses of milk, he finally sat, noticing that Asha was still staring at the food on the table. “Eat,”
he prompted. “If you don’t devour that food yourself, I swear I’ll wrestle you to the ground and force-feed you. You’re never going hungry again. You’re going to walk around stuffed every minute of the day,”
he told her earnestly.
Kade grinned as Asha put a hand to her mouth and stifled a giggle. “I can’t eat all of this,”
she said, sounding amused.
Kade looked at the table piled high with food. “Eat as much as you can. That’s part of your job from now on. No more skimping on food. I’ll consider it an insult if you don’t eat. There are obviously still things in your past that you need to recognize as wrong and get over them. We’re resolving the food issue right fucking now.”
She took a healthy sip of milk and started in on her monstrous sandwich. Kade opened a bag of chips and started feeding them to her between bites of her sandwich. Halfway through the sandwich he’d created, she pushed the plate away and put a hand to her flat belly. “I’m full.”
Kade snatched the other half of the sandwich from the plate and pushed the cake in front of her. “Eat.”
Picking up the fork, he put it in her hand.
Her eyes lit up as she cut off a tiny piece. “I haven’t eaten a lot of chocolate. This looks almost sinful.”
Kade grinned at her, catching her eyes and holding them for a moment. “It is. But sinning can be so much more fun than being good all the time.”