32. Drew
Chapter Thirty-Two
DREW
Black and white. Those are the colors of my life. The colors I always wear. The hue of the photographs on my walls. I walk throughout my entire penthouse, and there’s no color. No color without Kate.
She’s red for sure, but she’s all the other colors too. Colors I’ve never seen before. Everything with her is brighter. More vibrant. It’s been three days since she left. And now it’s only black and white again.
I haven’t heard from her either. Not a single text. I keep thinking she walked into her house, back into her normal life, and forgot all about me. Why can’t I forget about her? I haven’t even changed the sheets since the last time she was in my bed. I tried to go out with my lads tonight and find someone new, but I wasn’t interested. And there were beautiful women around. Loads of them.
Pathetic, right? Me being all lovesick over a woman. This doesn’t happen to me. Ever. I try to stop thinking about her, but everything reminds me of her. My bed, my music—even the songs we didn’t listen to together. And Black Jack too. I can’t go anywhere or do anything without thinking Kate. Kate. Kate. It’s like I’m broken.
I had the tree photograph framed and sent it to her house. She should get it any time now. I’ve been staring at her address. I know she’s there. There’s this ache in my body. My damn soul. I’ve never missed anyone this much. Or maybe she’s the only drug that ever got me hooked.
I’m an addict, and I need my fix. I need to hear her voice. I pick up my phone to call, then a little voice in my head says, stop being such a wanker and get over the girl!
I set the phone aside, but soon, my legs and fingers get all jittery. So I Google her. That’s right. I stalk her on the internet because I miss her, and I’m a fucking fiend. I even check out the street view of her house—Spanish-style with about a dozen palm trees in her front yard. It looks nice. I want to visit. Would she think it odd if I took the jet to California to see her?
That’s it. I’m definitely broken.
Kate, you bloody broke me.
I can’t take it anymore. I’m going to be a wimp and call her. My heart slams against my chest repeatedly as it rings—once, twice, three times. Is she not going to answer?
“Hi,” she says with that beautifully sweet voice of hers, and all my tension eases. Well, not all of it.
“What are you doing?” I try to sound cool even though there’s a swarm of flutters in my gut. Damn, this girl really messed me up.
“Just workin’ my ass off at my desk.”
“Well, don’t work your whole ass off. Save some for me.”
She laughs. The sound fills me with warmth, and I smile for what seems like the first time since she walked out my door.
“Okay, I’ll save some for you,” she says, and I’m relieved, even if it’s not true. “Are you calling because you’re in Los Angeles?”
See, I knew I should’ve just flown there. “No, but I wanted to make sure you got there okay.”
“Yes, I did. Thank you for checking on me. It’s one in the morning there. What are you doing up?”
The mention of being eight hours apart reminds me that we’re worlds apart. I’m on a totally different day than she is. “I was out late,” I say, not wanting to admit that I couldn’t sleep because of her.
“Oh, you went out.” Is that a little jealousy I hear? Maybe she hasn’t forgotten me in the last eighty hours.
“Yeah. I’ve been a little lonely since you left,” I say playfully.
She huffs a somewhat sarcastic laugh. “I guess it’s time to break out your little black book.”
Try to tell a girl you miss her, and she stings you. But I don’t know what to say. I have plenty of women I can call, but none of them will satisfy me the way she can. But I can’t say that, so I ignore her comment completely and reply, “So, I just wanted to see how you are.”
“I’m good. Just jet-lagged.” Kate sighs like she’s exhausted, and I want her to curl up in my arms and sleep with her head resting on my chest.
Who am I right now?
“If you’re on London time, then maybe you should just come back.” My heart dives into the pit of my stomach. What am I saying to this girl? And why do I mean it?
“You know I can’t do that, Drew,” she says in a serious tone.
“I know. I was just kidding.”
She’s quiet. So I’m quiet. And as much as I’m relieved to hear her voice, I realize it was a mistake to call. Things are different now.
“You should get some sleep. I have to get back to work, anyway,” she says.
“Yeah, I’ll let you go.”
Kate goes silent for a moment again, then says, “Goodnight, Drew.”
“Goodnight, Kate.”
She ends the call. And now I know she’s really gone.