Chapter 4
CHAPTER 4
NATHAN
N athan rolled over, the thousand count sheets gently caressing his skin, a reminder of the world he inhabited despite what he’d pretended the night before. As the first hints of dawn painted the sky in soft hues of pink and orange, the quiet stillness of the morning wrapped around him like a cocoon. His first thoughts after waking were of Ellie.
The image of her face dancing in his mind curved the corner of his lips. He closed his eyes, immersing himself in the memories he had created with her.
The soft tinkle of her laugh echoed in his memory, a stark contrast to the silence of his spacious room. Recalling how her eyes sparkled with genuine joy, he realized it wasn’t just her spirit that captivated him, it was the reflection of the person he wanted to be while around her. Someone free from the shadow of past mistakes, someone who found happiness in the simplicity of a shared moment.
He’d never met a woman like her. She was so free, so full of life. He recalled how giddy she had been over the simple pleasure of riding a carousel with him.
His mind naturally contrasted her with Chloe, comparing Elena’s vibrant laughter with Chloe’s calculated smiles. His former flame would never have lowered herself to climb onto a painted horse and sail around in circles. She preferred more extravagant things like high-end dinners, galas, yachting parties, and luxury getaways.
How had he not seen her for what she was until he’d walked in on her with another man as he’d tried to surprise her by filling her apartment with flowers? He berated himself as the painful memory twisted his heart.
The ache from her betrayal lingered, but only briefly. What had once threatened to drag him into the depths of despair, a path that invariably led to the bottom of a bottle, now no longer felt so daunting. Now, the mere thought of Elena, her smile bright even in his mind’s eye, was enough to dispel the shadows.The stark difference between Elena and Chloe made him wonder if he was finally seeing what a genuine connection looked like. He pushed aside the lingering specter of his past and focused on the image of Elena’s face, lit by the soft glow of the carousel’s lights, her laughter a melody that promised new beginnings.
He conjured the image of Ellie’s sweet face smiling up at him just before he kissed her.
The warm memory filled him, and he let himself swim in the moment before he twisted to grab his phone from his nightstand.
He stared at her name with a grin before he typed out a message. Good morning. Hope you slept well. Thinking of you.
He sent it on its way, staring at it for a moment as doubt started to creep in. Was he rushing this? What if Elena was like Chloe?
What if he was making another mistake that would leave his heart broken and him clawing to stay alive?
The doubt crushed him, constricting his chest and making it difficult to breathe. The chime of his phone tugged him back from the wave that threatened to drown him.
He glanced at the screen, the apprehension dissipating, replaced by that warm feeling. A message from Elena awaited him. Good morning, Nathan. I slept wonderfully, thank you. Your message was a lovely way to start my day. I’ve been thinking of you, too. Looking forward to our next adventure together.
He grinned at the screen, drinking in every word. His mind began to craft plans for their next meeting.
He typed a message to her as his mind spun. Funny you should mention that…I was just doing some planning.
As the phone’s display died, he pressed it against his chest, his lips curling. Normally, he’d have come up with something extravagant–he’d have been forced to or he’d have listened to Chloe whine for most of the evening.
He’d originally found it endearing. But as he looked back, he realized it was a giant red flag.
Ellie’s words from the previous night echoed in his mind. What’s so special about fancy? Pizza sounds lovely.
He found himself smiling again. But even with just pizza planned, he would find a way to make it special.
His phone chimed as he considered options. He lifted it to find a message waiting for him. I hope you’re picking a fabulous pizza place because this will be my first pizza.
He laughed out loud at the message before he typed back: You’re joking. First hot dog AND first pizza?
Her response came quickly. I am not. I told you my parents were strict. So, you’d better pick the best pizza in Sterling City .
He kicked off his covers and swung his legs over the bed as he typed the next message. Oh, I plan on it. I’m trying to impress you.
He left his phone behind as he shuffled into the bathroom for a shower before he pulled on his office attire. He checked his phone, finding Ellie’s response on the screen. Are you? Is that all the worry over fanciness, then?
He arched an eyebrow at the screen as he typed. It might be. Isn’t that how guys impress girls? Fancy things and extravagant gifts.
His heart skipped a beat as he slid his phone into his pocket. He wondered what she’d answer. Would it change his mind about her?
His mind crafted a response, one he certainly would have received from Chloe. Of course. Girls love sparkly baubles and fancy dinners. That’s how you sweep a girl off her feet.
As he headed down the stairs for breakfast, he wondered if he could stomach it. He chewed his lower lip as he waited for the response.
His phone chimed as he poured his coffee from the buffet and sat down at his place at the table. A maid delivered his usual breakfast, and he stared down at it. The answer to his question burned a hole in his pocket. His stomach churned as he wondered what the message said.
He picked up his fork but couldn’t bring himself to stab at his scrambled eggs. Instead, he let the utensil clatter to his plate as he dug into his pocket.
He blew out a heavy breath as he powered on the display and stared at the message waiting on the lock screen. His heart lifted as he breathed a sigh of relief. I don’t know what information you have been given, but this girl is not impressed by fancy things or extravagant gifts.
The smile wouldn’t leave his face as he typed back. Oh, yeah? Was I given false information? What are you impressed by then ?
With the weight lifted, he dove into his breakfast, the smile tattooed on his face.
His mother flitted into the room a moment later, side-eyeing him as she poured her coffee. “Well, we’re in a chipper mood today.”
“I’m not drinking,” he answered reflexively.
His mother eased into her usual chair, eyeing him over the rim of her teacup. “I didn’t say you were.”
“Sorry,” he said with a shake of his head.
“Good morning, Victoria,” his father said as he entered the room, kissing his wife on the cheek before he headed for the coffee. He shifted his gaze between them. “Everyone’s all smiles today.”
“I assume that’s because Nate actually made it through the day yesterday without ending up at the bottom of a bottle,” his younger brother, Stephen, said as he strode into the room.
Stephen’s sneer, a familiar sight at the breakfast table, cut deeper today. Nathan’s mood soured a little as his brother plopped down diagonally from him at the table. His grip on his fork tightened, a silent testament to their fractured bond–one strained not just by past actions.
“Oh, or are we all trying to be supportive because you had to drag him from a bar yesterday? Or maybe an alley.”
“Stephen, that was unnecessary,” his father said as he took his seat at the head of the table. “Let’s not rehash old grievances.”
The plea for peace, subtle but strong, hinted at the undercurrent of unresolved tension that remained palpable between the brothers.
“Was it?”
Nathan let his fork clatter to his plate again, clasping one hand over a fist as he leaned forward against the table. “You’ll be happy to know, brother, that I am stone-cold sober and have been for nearly four months.”
“Well, someone get him a medal,” Stephen answered. “Or maybe one of those cute little chips you get to carry around that says you’re a recovering loser.”
“That is enough,” Victoria said, her voice firm.
“I’m heading in early,” Nate said as he rose from the table. “Dad, I’ll see you at the office.”
“There are no bars open right now,” Stephen shouted after him as he strode from the dining room, his blood boiling.
His relationship with Stephen wasn’t easy, though he’d had as much of a hand in that as his younger brother. Maybe more of a hand in it.
He blew out a steadying breath as he arrived in the expansive foyer. As his fingers curled into fists, he struggled to maintain his cool. He slid his eyes closed, the rage still burning through him at his brother’s comments.
The buzz of his phone pulled him from his thoughts. He reached into his pocket and slid the phone out, checking his notifications.
Some of his anger dissipated as he discovered a text message from Ellie waiting. Genuine kindness, a sense of humor, and someone who is comfortable being themselves. Those are the traits that leave a lasting impression with me.
Her message was punctuated by a smiling emoticon that made his anger melt away. Her answer suggested she was the antithesis of Chloe, and someone that he desperately needed in his life.
“Super funny meme?” his younger sister asked as she bounced down the stairs.
He clicked off his display as he reached to pull her into a half-hug. “Yeah, funny meme.”
She smiled up at him. The baby of the family, his sister, Madeline, was one of the few family members who still treated him normally, not aggressively like his brother or with kid gloves like his parents.
“You’re going to be late for breakfast, Maddie.”
“I know. I hope I am,” she answered. “I’m trying to avoid school today.”
“You really need to go to school.”
“But I don’t. I’m doing okay in school. I can miss a day. And it’s almost summer break, anyway.”
“Good luck convincing Mom and Dad of that.”
“That’s why I’m hoping to be late to breakfast,” Maddie answered.
“All right,” he said with a grin, “I’ll help you out.”
She offered him a devilish grin. “Yeah? Take me with you? I’ll ditch school, you ditch work.”
“No,” he said with a shake of his head. “But I need your help. But this has to be a secret, okay?”
Maddie’s eyebrow arched, tossing a lock of her blonde hair over her shoulder. “Ooh, super-secret stuff? Okay.”
“I’m serious, Maddie,” he answered. “I don’t want anyone to know. Not Mom and Dad. Definitely not Stephen.”
“Okay,” she said with a bob of her head. “Yeah. You can trust me.”
He sucked in a breath as he lowered his voice and took a step closer to her. “I met someone. We went on a first date last night.”
Her eyes lit up, and she sucked in a breath. “Nate! Aww. What’s her name? Is she pretty? I bet she’s pretty.”
“Yeah, she’s pretty. Her name is Ellie. And I…really like her.”
“Did you kiss? Was it magical?”
“Maddie, focus,” he said as his exuberant little sister’s teenage hormones kicked in.
“Ohhh, you kissed her, and it was magical. Fireworks!” She hopped up and down with excitement.
“Yes, I kissed her, okay. Yes, it was perfect. Which is why I need your help. I want to get her something before our next date. But I don’t know what.”
Maddie wrinkled her nose. “Jewelry? Girls like jewelry, right?”
“No,” he said with a shake of his head. “No, she’s not that kind of girl. She’s…different. She just…I just want her to know I was thinking about her and paying attention to her.”
“Ohh,” Maddie said, her eyebrows scrunching, “oh, you want like a real, genuine connection type of thing, not just a flashy, sparkly gift.”
“Right.”
“Okay, ummm, well why don’t you get her something to remind her of your first date with her? Like something she can look at and think about how special it was because she knows it was special for you, too.”
He bit his lower lip as an idea formed, and he grinned at his sister. “You’re right. I got it. You’re a genius, Maddie.”
He kissed her forehead before he darted toward the door. “And remember…secret.”
“My lips are sealed, big brother.”
He winked at her as he stepped into the morning sunshine. His sister had given him a fantastic idea about what he could give Ellie. He grinned as he slid behind the wheel of his BMW and fired the engine. He’d grab the gift during his lunch break. And then he’d text her a teasing message hinting that he had something special for her.
He couldn’t wait to see her reaction. He hit the office with the smile still lingering on his lips.
“Good morning, Mr. Kingsley,” Melinda, his secretary said. “I have several messages for you and a new report from the anti-aging project lead on your desk. ”
“Thank you, Melinda,” he said as he grabbed them from her and settled in at his desk. Before he dove into the work, he glanced at his phone, eyeing the message from Ellie again.
He typed a response and sent it on its way. Oh yeah? Well, then get ready to be impressed.
With a chuckle at his own message, he dove into his work, smashing through returning his calls, emails, and annotating the report with questions and concerns before his lunch break.
His stomach rumbled as he flicked closed the folder on the report. He dropped it with his secretary before he strode from the office.
“Nate?” his father called before he made it two more steps.
He shifted his weight, trying not to take it personally as he stuck his head into his father’s office. “Yeah, Dad?”
“Going out?”
“Yep,” he answered, hoping the irritation he felt didn’t show through in his voice.
His father narrowed his eyes at him.
“I’m heading out for lunch. Not to a bar, not to drink. Stop listening to Stephen’s nonsense.”
“Okay. No one’s accusing you of anything, son. Just checking on you.”
“Thanks.But I don’t need it.”
He strode from the room, trying to let his annoyance dissipate as he focused on the task at hand. He allowed the simple task of buying the gift for Ellie to soothe his mood.
As he stepped into the elevator, he imagined her face as she opened it. She’d grin and snap those beautiful eyes up to his face. He couldn’t wait to see her again, especially now.
He checked his phone as the car lowered to the ground level. A message waited from Elena. Oh, I’m ready.
The winky face at the end of the message made him laugh as he answered. I’m serious. I’m bringing my A game tomorrow night. I’ve got a surprise for you.
He stepped out of the lift and pushed into the warm spring day, aiming for Mariner’s Park. He stopped at the same hot dog stand they’d patronized last night, buying a hot dog for lunch and eating it as he walked toward the carousel.
Memories of their shared date filled his mind, especially as the calliope music reached his ears. He stopped short of the merry-go-round and stepped into the small gift shop.
After a few minutes of browsing, he found what he’d been searching for: a mini-carousel. He smiled at the tiny horses and the whimsical, tinkling tune that played from it when wound.
He grabbed the item, paid for it, and left the store with the gift bag dangling from his fingers.
The grin plastered on his features slipped, though, when a familiar voice reached his ears. He recognized the voice of his brother, Stephen. “Hey there. I’m so glad to see you.”
Who was his brother meeting? He followed the sound of the voice, rounding a large tree and spotting his brother grinning at someone. His eyes flicked to the other person, his heart stopping. His chest tightened as he stared at the woman who kissed his brother’s cheek.
Chloe.
His heart plummeted. For a moment, the world seemed to tilt, his breath caught in his throat as memories of betrayal and pain surged to the forefront. He had come so far, found solace in Ellie’s laughter and the simplicity of their carousel ride, yet the sight of Chloe, her hand lingering on his brother’s arm, threatened to unravel him. The shadows of the past seemed to claw their way back, determined to drag him down.
Old hurts surged back through him as shock coursed through his veins. His breathing turned labored as Chloe’s laughter echoed across the park, slicing at him like a knife.
His mind spiraled, questioning if he’d made any progress at all after their painful separation.
As he turned away from the disturbing scene, a battle raged within him. The old urge to seek oblivion in a bottle whispered seductively, promising escape from the pain that Chloe’s reappearance had reignited.
His foot moved him away from the scene as his mind wondered if he was moving closer to a glimmer of hope or reverting to the man he once was. Could he find a different path, or would he wind up slipping back into old habits?