CHAPTER FIVE
I called back, “Who is it?”
“Your friend, Cassidy Cosgrove.”
My heart leaped, and I let out a squeal. “Oh my God. She didn’t tell me she was coming.” I rushed to clean up, quickly changing into a pullover and jeans, then ran down the stairs. Cassidy’s infectious laugh carried from the living room, and a smile spread across my face as I walked inside. Her wavy blonde head tilted in my direction as she tossed her hair over her shoulder, and I didn’t miss the sparkle of mischief in her big blue eyes. What’s she up to?
Mrs. Belfiore sat beside her with a sourpuss expression, listening to Cass babble about her drive from JFK airport.
“…nonstop traffic, so I stopped for a coffee in Queens, and it took me a half hour to find a parking space. It wasn’t even a good cup, but when I got back in my car, the traffic was still crazy. Then I thought, hey, I have time; why not take a break and swing up here to see Lina? So, here I am.” She bounced on the seat and did a “Tada” with her hands. We knew she lied about swinging by, but I didn’t care. She was here.
“Cass,” I yelled, cheery.
She jumped up from her seat and ran over to me with a scream. We laughed and hugged each other tight. “You didn’t tell me you were coming.”
“Because you would’ve told me it was a bad idea.”
We let go, and she held me at arm’s length. “Oh my God, Lina. You look worn-out. Are you sick?” Her brows knitted.
“I told you she had a cold,” Mrs. Belfiore chirped loudly from her perch on the couch.
I shrugged. “I’m just jet-lagged. I’ll be fine.”
Cassidy nodded, then cocked a brow at me while smiling impishly. “I was just telling Mrs. Belfiore I have a few days free before returning to college. Soo, I could stay for few days. Isn’t that great?”
I beamed at her. “Really?”
Cassidy nodded.
“I also told Ms. Cosgrove we have a set schedule,” Mrs. Belfiore added in a raised voice.
“Really?” I peered over at her frowning face and arched my brows. “What are our plans?”
“We have a private luncheon and the funeral,” she said, sitting taller and jutting her chin. “Both of which can’t accommodate Miss. Cosgrove.”
Cassidy grinned. “You said you’re busy Thursday and Friday. That leaves the rest of today free. I’ll leave sometime tomorrow.” She switched to an affirmative tone.
I laughed inward as Cassidy squared off with my grandmother.
Mrs. Belfiore was the first to break. She tutted and stood. “You can stay, but I must point out how improper and rude it is to stop at someone’s home without asking for permission.” She shot daggers at me. “I’d like a word with you.”
“Good to see you again, Mrs. Belfiore,” Cassidy called to her back and waved at her.
I chuckled and shook my head. She had a natural way of shrugging off the world. I wished to become her when I grew up.
I caught up to Mrs. Belfiore and she turned abruptly, her gaze withering. “Did you plan Ms. Cosgrove’s visit?”
I narrowed my gaze. “When? During the sudden flight from Italy or while I was asleep?”
Her lips pursed. “All visitors to our home must be approved first.”
I shrugged my shoulders. “Cassidy’s here now, and you said she can stay—”
“I want to make one thing clear first,” she interrupted, her tone curt. “You’re not to discuss our personal matters with her.”
“Got it,” I deadpanned.
She crossed her arms. “You’ve returned with a bad attitude that neither your grandfather nor I appreciate. I can see Rocco has already had a poor influence on you.”
I grimaced. “It’s not Rocco. You hid that my father was out of jail and encouraged me to “ruin” myself by sleeping with Rocco—”
“I never…” her voice rose, and she paused, lowering it. “I told you not to do it—”
“And go against Mr. Belfiore?” I mocked and she went quiet. “Now you’re trying to sell me off to someone you hate. You both have forced me to change.”
Mrs. Belfiore paled and scoffed, glancing around us before pointing a finger at me. “You sound like a child. You’ll learn that as an adult, not everything is as simple as you think. Now, I’m allowing Cassidy’s short visit, but I will not tolerate your disrespect.”
Life wasn’t always fair. It was also a waste of both our time arguing with her. Especially when Cassidy was here, and I had a chance to spend time with her.
“Thank you, Mrs. Belfiore,” I said in a sharp tone.
She blinked rapidly, then turned on her heels and walked down the hallway in the opposite direction. While I returned to the living room and Cassidy. She was standing in front of a framed photo on the mantelpiece and glanced back with a smile. “Wow. You look so much like your grandmother. I had to do a double take.”
It was a photo I admired, too. In it, Mrs. Belfiore was around my age and looked elegant in her navy show coat and riding pants as she competed in a local horseback riding dressage event.
Cassidy pointed to her smile. “I knew she had one in there somewhere.”
I giggled with her.
“Did I get you in trouble, gorgeous?” She bit her bottom lip.
“Trouble’s my middle name, gorgeous,” I joked, jutting my chin.
“I thought it was Tessa?”
Her mouth formed an “O.” “Remember when you wanted everyone to call you Tessa instead of Adelina?”
I smirked and pushed her arm. “So? I was fifteen and it took only a week for me to get sick of people forgetting to use it. Remember when you got that perm for Halloween that turned your hair into a clown wig? That was only a few years ago.”
She winced. “Ha-ha. No, blame that on the stylist for ignoring me. I asked for waves like Lynn Bracken’s hair from L.A. Confidential, and the stylist claimed she knew it, and I even showed her a photo on my phone. But she said the only way she could do it was to give me a perm.”
I wagged my finger. “I warned you. The stylist was a student who didn’t have her license yet, but you didn’t listen. And the rollers she used were way too small.”
She lifted her shoulders. “Everyone needs to start somewhere. I didn’t know I’d look like a labradoodle. Luckily, no one recorded me with their phone. I would’ve been canceled forever.”
Cassidy had lucked out with that because her tantrum had been an award-winning epic performance. She dropped to her knees by the stylist’s chair and let out a wail that I bet could be heard for miles.
I grinned. “It wasn’t all bad. You got free services, shaved your head, and you bought a ton of cute hats.”
She smiled. “Yeah, I got over it. But thanks for reminding me that we both were drama queens when we were younger and know each other’s skeletons.”
I joined in laughing, but then shifted my eyes away as a wave of nausea churned my stomach, remembering my nightmare. Cassidy didn’t know all my skeletons and that was the way I hoped to leave it. “You up for a run?”
She scrunched up her face. “But Mrs. Belfiore said you’re sick.”
I stretched my arms above my head. “Just a headache. The fresh air will clear my head better than sitting in a room.”
I waved for her to follow me, and we went to my bedroom. The dresser still had a few sets of joggers and athletic shoes, and since we shared the same size, I handed her a set to change into. Seeing them made me instantly think of jogging around the estate in Italy. In the evenings, the housekeepers left a flashlight and a whistle for me along with something sweet to work off on my run. They told me it was Rocco’s idea. He was always doing something kind, and sometimes he joined me. An image of him in his shorts jogging backwards with wind blowing his hair and the sun on his broad shoulders came to mind. It dug a hole in my chest and sadness crept in. I hadn’t appreciated the little things. What if he’s gone from my life forever?
“Earth to Adelina.”
Cassidy’s hands waving in my face brought me back to myself.
I tightened my tie to hide whatever goofy look I had on my face. “Sorry. Yes?”
Her smile was wicked. “Reminiscing about a good memory?”
I rolled my eyes. “Not really.”
She guffawed. “You’re really bad at lying.”
I blanked my face, but my insides warmed. Rocco said the same thing . “Sorry. There’s so much going on, and I’ve a lot on my mind. Did you say something?”
Her grin broadened. “I did. I was telling you I have clothes in the car, ya know.”
She had already changed into the tracksuit anyway. Which I would have noticed if I wasn’t thinking about Rocco.
She did a spin in place. “I love this house, but your room is so girly-girly. It’s so not you.”
I wasn’t too fond of the pastel floral accents grandmother had updated the room with. Though Cassidy’s comment that it wasn’t me had me curious.
“What am I, Cass?” I asked her as I changed into my jogging pants.
She paused, then said, “You’re more colorful, like that room in the hotel you stayed at in New York or the house in Florence.”
The places were vivid, bright colors and rich mahogany furnishings with traditional and contemporary stylings. What I loved most was hearing Rocco share that the art was from every corner of the world, and in almost all my conversations with his family, they had personally visited. My mind lingered on Rocco; that first day, he showed me around. He never pressed on what made me cry at Pisa until I was ready to share it with him. I liked that. That was what surprised me the most. I could feel so warm with him and so cold without him. That my heart could burn and ache at the same time. That was what I felt for him.
“Where did you go this time?” Cassidy said, breaking my inner spell again. She pulled her hair in a ponytail.
I blinked rapidly, then picked up my shoes. “Do you want to eat first?”
“Come on, Lina. No one eats before a run unless they want to get sick,” she said tying her shoes. “What had you staring off dreamy, could it be Rocco?”
I swatted her shoulder playfully and walked towards the door. “I was thinking about nothing. Let’s go.”
We took the stairs by way of the kitchen, and I pulled out two bottled waters from a shelf before collecting the backpack I had stored in the sunroom next to the patio. It surprised me that no one removed it, but it wasn’t a room ever used. It always made me laugh that the seats in the room had no creases, and the book display on the coffee table hadn’t changed in years.
We stretched and moved next to each other as we took the stairs, and happiness filled me as we synced, running down the path like we had done hundreds of times before, over the years, at many parks at boarding school and college. Just her presence next to me lifted my spirits despite everything. Cass slowed down by the swan house on the water where a new gazebo stood, and Mr. Marini’s benches had been moved around it.
“This is truly breathtaking,” she exclaimed, her voice filled with awe.
My eyes stung, and my chest tightened. “Yeah…yeah, it is.” I cleared my throat. She gave me a questioning look, and I explained. “Mr. Marini and I used to meet here and talk when I came to town.”
I could see him still, standing there next to it with his card in my hand.
“Resilience is your superpower, Adelina.” he had once told me.
I felt Cassidy’s arm around my shoulder. “I’m sorry, Lina.”
I rubbed warmth into my arms as a gust of wind blew over us. “It’s all a surprise. Honestly, I can’t believe he’s gone.” Or what I read. It’s not possible he’d do anything to hurt me. But was I groomed to believe so?
I sighed heavily. “Let’s move on.”
We jogged further down the reservoir over the footbridge. It was the end of summer, and most of the flowers were gone, and some trees were already dropping leaves. We took drinks from our water.
“I’m quite surprised you’re back here,” Cass said in a gentle voice. “Did something happen with Rocco?”
I shrugged. “He’s busy with his family, the funeral, and businesses. We postponed the wedding, so….”
“So? Don’t worry. It’ll be rescheduled,” she said, nodding in emphasis. “Anyway, how do you feel about him?”
I smiled and covered my lips. “He’s really…great.”
She wrinkled her nose. “Just great? That big, beautiful man is just great?”
I laughed. “Okay, honestly he’s amazing.” My face heated and I dipped my head.
She poked my side, chuckling. “Now we’re getting somewhere. How’s the sex? And please don’t give me one word answers. I need the deets.”
I groan-laughed. “Okay, okay. Rocco’s gorgeous naked. He’s an amazing kisser, very experienced in bed, and dominant.”
She danced in place. “Ohh yeah. I knew there was some power behind all that muscle.”
I tensed. Had I told her too much?
She swiped her arm and sealed her lips. “Don’t worry. It’s in the vault.”
My expression turned serious. “Good. I don’t want to upset him by telling all his sexy business.”
She crossed her heart and kissed her pinkie. “I swear…now let’s get back to the part I’m most interested in, how dominant are we talking here?”
My cheeks warmed. “He takes over in the bedroom. It’s a lot of commands.” And multiple orgasms.
“What kind of commands? Acrobatics or suck me?” She cocked a brow.
I lifted a shoulder, smiling. “I guess some of that. And a bit of humiliation, but not all the time. Most of the times he’s tender…romantic.” I touched my lips, then glanced at Cassidy. She beamed at me with stars in her eyes, and I knew what she was thinking.
I shrugged. “I don’t know.”
She swiped my arm. “You do, Lina. Gah, look at you, falling in love—”
“No, I am very much in lust,” I quickly spoke over her.
“If that’s what you want to call it,” she teased, raising her brows and giving me a skeptical look.
“Whatever, Cass.”
She blew out her breath. “Fine…What about Rocco?”
“What about him?” I asked facetiously.
She smirked. “Come on, Lina. You know what I’m asking. How does he feel about you?”
“I don’t know.” I lowered my eyelids. “He’s always kind and caring. Passionate . But he… he didn’t want to get married. He was making the best of his situation because he can’t easily get out of it.” At least I hope that’s still true. Just as the thought entered, my conscience came with guilt . If I really care about him, I want him to be happy. Free.
Cass rolled her eyes. “Do you really want him to or are you looking for ways to make your feelings less because you’re afraid of opening your heart and giving yourself to your fiancé?”
She had a point. Rocco would be my husband. Or Percy Sterling.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, frowning.
I plastered on a smile. “Nothing.”
“Come on, Lina, I know something else is bothering you. I’m here for you. Tell me.”
I peered at her through my lashes. “How do you know there’s something bothering me?”
Her expression turned serious. “I know you better than anyone else. I also love you and would never hurt you. So tell me. Maybe I can help.”
I hunched my shoulders. My past wasn’t hidden anymore, and I didn’t want Cassidy to hear about it from a stranger. “You met me when I was fourteen, but a lot happened before that. Mama, Jacob, and I went through hell with my father. He made a lot of promises he never kept, but Mama believed his lies, and it cost us a lot…I don’t want to be like her, and blindly trust a man just because we’re together. Rocco’s a great guy, but it would be stupid of me to trust him about everything.”
I still wasn’t ready to tell her all that my father had done to me. She was one of the sweetest people I knew, and I didn’t want her to see me differently.
“It’s hard to trust, but you learned to. Heck, it took a long time for us to become friends, and everything worked out wonderfully…Rocco hasn’t done anything to hurt you, right?”
I shook my head no.
“Then you don’t have any reason not to trust him.”
I hunched my shoulders. “But…but we may not marry, Cass.”
“What do you mean?” Her eyes narrowed.
I told her about Percy Sterling, and my grandparents’ plan.
She shook her head rapidly. “There’s no way Rocco will let that happen. I think they’re just trying to pressure him.”
I looked away and leaned my folded arms against the bridge’s railing. “But things might have changed since his grandfather’s passing. He might feel differently about marrying me if he doesn’t have to.”
She placed her arm around my shoulder and squeezed. “Give him time. If he breaks up with you, you can come and stay with my family. You’re not marrying that prick Percy Sterling. Darn his own damn socks.”
“You always have a way with words,” I chuckled. “But come on, it’s not all about me. What’s going on with you? You mentioned taking a break to discover yourself?”
Cassidy drew in a breath and exhaled long. “Yeah, I’m going back to college, but I’m burned out. I want to take a year out and travel. But I’m afraid I won’t want to return if I don’t do it now. I have a business to take over and on-the-job training with my parents.”
“What about acting?” I asked her, gentling my tone.
“I won’t have the time,” she said dismissively, her tone light, but I knew her better. She dreamed of becoming an actress.
“Please don’t let go of your dreams. You’re amazing at it.” We hugged, and even though Cass was the most independent person I knew, I could hear her parents saying just finish law school. They also hated most of their acting clients.
We let go, and she peered at me, determined. “I’ll only not give up on acting if you do the same with illustration and painting, Lina.”
I rolled my eyes. “No ultimatums, Cass. My options are limited.”
She scoffed. “Find a way to do it. Your paintings convey emotions; when you illustrate, you capture the essence of the writer’s words and the feelings.”
I laughed. It was just like Cassidy to think I could do it. I had Jacob and Mama to think about and they mattered more than dreams. “I did one project and you’re already pushing for more.”
She huffed and placed her hands on her hips. “Do another book illustration, Lina. Contact a company and show them what you’ve done.”
I always wanted to, but was afraid. However, Cassidy was much too talented to give up her acting. If I tell her I’ll do it, maybe she’ll try again?
I quirked a brow. “I’ll only do it if you agree to audition.”
She shook my hand. “It’s a deal. Now, let’s get moving. I only had a bagel before coming here, and I’m starving.”
Cassidy took off, and I sprinted after her, putting my troubles away, and we ran free. But her words stayed with me. “Find a way to do it. Your paintings convey emotions; when you illustrate, you capture the essence of the writer’s words and the feelings.” Rocco had said something similar. He had believed in me just like Cassidy. Would there ever be a time that I could continue painting or would that choice too be ripped from my hands?