CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
W e had made it backstage to Nadia and Paul.
Paul stepped forward, grinning. “How was that?”
My jaw dropped and I swiped his arm. “Oh, come on. That was amazing.” I bounced on the balls of my feet. Then I froze and dropped my hand. Oh my God . I hit Paul Crane.
“Hum, sorry,” I squeaked.
Paul chuckled. “Don’t be. She’s finally relaxing. Eh, Rocco?”
Rocco squeezed my arms. “Yep.”
They all laughed, and I joined in with them.
“My turn,” Nadia said tugging me into a tight hug. “You looked so surprised.”
“Oh my God, why didn’t you tell me?”
“Jacob wanted to see your reaction in real-time,” she explained when we let go.
I gestured towards my face, which probably had puffy eyes and tear streaks. “Look at me? I’m a mess.”
“You look beautiful.” Rocco murmured.
Paul’s expression turned serious. “Jacob’s so cool.”
I beamed at him, bobbing my head. “Yeah, he is.”
Jacob was so calm on screen, like he was hanging out with old friends. He didn’t debate whether he wanted an opportunity, he jumped right in and made a video. I still had so much of letting go to learn from my big brother. How I wished I could call him and congratulate him on his boldness and ask him how I could be just like him.
Paul gestured towards Rocco. “It was all him. He sent me a video of Jacob’s art, and it moved me. Nadia and I left to visit Jacob the next day.”
I turned to face Rocco; my heart swelled at the softness in his gaze. All him. “I love you, Adelina.” His words were still dancing beneath my skin, but now didn’t feel like the right time to say those words back to him. “You showing stuff again?”
Rocco gave me a sheepish grin. “I can’t help it. If I see something I like, I want the world to see it. That’s why I make films.” It was a good enough reason. But it meant so much more.
“Sono pazzo di te. Te adoro il mio dolce marito.” I’m crazy about you, my sweet husband. I adore you.
He wrapped his arms around me, and we kissed. It came so naturally, and I wasn’t shy about it, pressing back, and holding him tight.
Rocco’s eyes glimmered, and his smile grew broader when we parted. He noticed, too. “Mmm. I’m going to have to hear more Italian from your lips. But now, I’m back to Italy. Glad you’re able to join me Paul….” He chatted easily with our friends, but I stopped listening.
It was time for me to leave. Of course I understood he had to return to work and his busy schedule. Still, I couldn’t stop that ache in my chest that we’d be separated again. I didn’t want to spend a second without him.
“I know that look too well, Adelina,” Paul said, breaking my thoughts, his expression sympathetic. “Rocco will be back soon.”
My face warmed. God. I’m so embarrassed.
“Paul,” Nadia drawled out. “Don’t put her on the spot.”
Paul winced. “Sorry, Adelina.”
I waved dismissively. “It’s all right. I’ll be fine.”
Rocco rubbed my back soothingly. “It’ll only be for a few days.”
Paul blew out. “I hope so.” His tone wasn’t exactly sure. And I hated that Rocco’s future productions and studio depended on money from investors instead of using the money promised to him.
Nadia stepped over and came close, clasping my hands.
“I don’t know what’s wrong. I guess all the travel was too much for me.” We both knew I was lying, but Nadia was discreet.
“I completely agree with you. Traveling can be overwhelming. I’m still checking where I am sometimes.” She reached over and hugged me, then whispered in my ear. “I also have moments when I cry when I have to leave Paul. It’ll get better, especially when he returns to you.” She let go, and I put on a smile. “You have a great flight, and I’ll call you soon. Okay?”
“Okay. Thank you Nadia. Thank you Paul.”
Paul hugged me, and then Rocco placed his arm on my shoulder. “We’ll see you both soon. Dinner at ours?”
“We’d love that,” Nadia said, and Paul agreed.
I turned back to Rocco. “Thank you so much for what you did for Jacob. I can’t express enough how much that means to me.”
“Jacob’s an amazing artist. I’m glad Paul loved his work as much as me.”
I wrapped my arms around him and held him tight. When we broke apart, Zane and other security guards became a wall around us, blocking all access out of the stadium. We stayed together all the way to the waiting car in the secured, blocked-off area. We climbed in and stayed with our sides touching as we rode to the airport.
“Rocco,” I whispered.
“Yes, Bella.”
“I want to tell you…the same. But I—”
“I didn’t tell you I love you for you to say it back. When you’re ready, it will be much better.”
“Why is that?”
“Because it’ll come from your heart and I’ll cherish it.”
I melted and leaned my head on his shoulder. “I cherish you.”
He pulled me across his lap, and I snuggled, inhaling his heat and sweat. I closed my eyes and was back in Mustique, where we’d lay naked for hours, getting lost in each other. I wish we never left.
“Hum, Rocco?”
“Hum, Adelina,” he mused.
“Paul didn’t seem so sure about your trip?”
“He’s annoyed with George, and so am I.”
Rocco looked exhausted, and I cursed all the pressure Luca left him with. All the legal proceedings were pushing him further away from his movies.
“So you’ll be gone longer than a couple of days?” I asked, my voice raising octaves.
“Yes, if I’m being honest.”
My shoulders dropped, and I hid my eyes. “Oh.” His news of traveling longer felt like a storm rolling in on a sunny day. I touched my hot face. “God, I’m acting like a baby. I don’t know what’s gotten into me.”
He squeezed my waist. “I do. Me.”
I groaned and tried to move, but he closed his arms around me.
“Just let me go, Rocco.”
“So you can hide away and put some distance between us? No way.”
“I don’t like myself like this,” I mumbled.
“Like what? Mine. That’s what you don’t like?”
“It’s…it’s not uhm…I don’t know. All this…I don’t know….” Bonding. “It’s making me feel….” Like I need you every waking minute. Like I can’t breathe without your touch.
“Talk to me, Bella. Tell me what’s upsetting you.”
He’d gotten entirely under my skin and in my head. “I can’t do this stuff.Thinking about you all the time, missing you. I don’t know how to do it. I never had it before, and it’s making me feel weak.”
“You’re not weak. Caring doesn’t make you weak,” he said softly, kissing my shoulder.
I gritted my teeth to stop that warm feeling inside, but he cuddled me closer. “ Ti,adoro, Bella. I adore you, and I’m having a hard time leaving you, too. But it won’t work for our careers. It’s the one thing I love and would change.”
“I understand that, but I’ll…I’ll miss you,” my voice cracked, and I swallowed against the lump in my throat.
“I want to be missed, to be cared for,” he whispered like it was an intimate secret, and my heart turned over. I hadn’t thought how lonely he must feel by himself.
“My schedule cost me a lot of relationships. Most of them were over long before seeing them again to break up. But now, I wonder if they ended because I didn’t miss them in my life…I know I miss you.”
His words touched me deeply and I couldn’t speak.
The car slowed, and my nerves jumped. It felt too short of a ride. Rocco didn’t open the limo and placed me on the seat next to him instead.
“Don’t you have to go?” I rasped.
“I’m not leaving you sad. You looked so beautiful and happy tonight. And I’ve wanted to take you out of that dress for hours. Lay on your back.” His tone lowered as he switched to his commanding tone.
I lay on the seat, my legs facing him. He moved his hands quickly under my dress and eased my thong off.
“Give me what I want,” he said, and I knew what it was.
I lifted my dress and opened my thighs.
He let out a whistle. “You bad girl.”
“Bad?”
“Yes, bad. You were going to leave me without giving me my sweet pussy when it’s so wet.”
I squirmed on the seat.“Mmm.”
“Why are you so wet?”
“You make me wet,” I rasped.
“I do, and I also take good care of it.”
“Mmm, please.”
With Rocco, I wanted whatever he would do to me. With the first swipe of his tongue against my skin, he took me like he was dying of thirst, and only I could sustain him. A wave of pleasure built inside me at top speed as he devoured, teasing, stroking my clit with his tongue, his hands tight on my thighs, holding me open. It was absolute possession.
“Mmm, Rocco.” I quivered hard, hugging his head against me as I shook in pleasure, unwilling to let him go. Rocco let me keep my hold, rubbing my clit, and tantalizing my opening; the orgasm came, and I shuddered as he sucked me down, my hands dropping on the seat as we both recovered in heavy gasps for air. He pulled my dress down, helped me sit, and placed his arm around me. I dropped my head, and a sob erupted from my throat.
He touched my face. “Adelina, what’s wrong?”
“I…I don’t want to….” I don’t want to leave you.
Rocco understood, even if I couldn’t get the words out. “I’ll be as quick as I can,” he whispered, cuddling me.
It shocked me how tearful I’d become with him. He had swung the emotional door open inside me, and I couldn’t close it. The dam I built to protect myself had come apart—all those years of living in a cage inside myself. Rocco had taken me not only physically but emotionally. He knew my whole story and still loved me. And I believed him when he said it wasn’t from sympathy. It was because he saw me as I was.
When I calmed down, he sighed deeply and opened the door. We had to say goodbye for now.
The bright lights burned my swollen eyes as I climbed out. Rocco pulled me against him and tucked me into his side. “Come on.”
We walked over to the stairs and then stopped. I trembled, but he kept ahold of me. “I’m going to stay with Adelina for a while.”
We thanked the pilot and climbed the stairs, not stopping on the aisle to the bed in the back.
I hugged his waist, and he kissed my forehead, then took off my dress and shoes. It was part of his seduction, his control, and I willingly acquiesced.
“You’re so beautiful,” he told me.
So was Rocco. He removed his clothes and laid down with me, holding me at first, then he kissed my face, his hands warm all over my body, leaving his mark, his scent. It felt so good, but I wanted to be closer and reached for his cock. “Mmm, take it.” He gave it to me, moving against my hand. I took over, stroking him from the base to the tip, using the precum that glistened on the top. He felt strong in my hands, and I felt powerful, feeling how hard I could make him, how much he wanted me.
Rocco closed his hand over mine, and I let go and moved to my back. Our eyes connected as he moved on top, laying all his weight on me. “Ohh, Rocco.”
He pushed his cock inside my pussy, and held himself there. And I wrapped my arms and legs around him. My eyes closed, wishing it wouldn’t end.
His dick throbbed and thickened more, stretching me deliciously, then he started to move.
We both moaned in pleasure. He slowed his pace, dragging himself in and out. We kissed, and he ground his cock in deep. I moaned, over and over.
“You feel it. You belong to me,” he whispered.
My inner muscles tightened around him, and he groaned. There was nothing he’d leave me with. He ruined me, and there would never be anyone else. It was terrifying, but I had all but surrendered, hugging him tighter. “I do. I’m yours.”
“I’m your forever, Adelina.”
Tears fell down my face, but we were locked, staring at each other.
He changed his rhythm, swiveling his hips, moving faster and fucking me harder.
I lifted my hips, taking all he had to give. My heart pounded, and my pulse raced as his pumps inside of me grew more erratic, intense, and untamed. And I clung to him, wanting them all. Then I felt it, my orgasm, that shook me to my core, and I shattered, writhing.
“Ohh, ohh yes. Yes.” I love you.
“Adelina,” he moaned as he followed me right over the edge in pleasure.
He stayed inside of me and let me hold on to him. I needed every minute he could spare.
His boundless compassion met my weakness. That was strength. That was love.
And I believed with my whole heart I had all I needed.