Chapter 71
Lost
When I arrived home Karson’s car sat like a foreboding omen in the drive. The death card in the tarot pack. The black fog in a crystal ball. The cracked heart in a tea-leaf reading.
I thought about turning around and leaving. But I knew he’d have heard my car. And I didn’t want to show him he held power over me. I walked toward the house. My legs felt heavy. My chest tightened like a spring. My heart beat fast. Shit.
Remain calm. Breathe.
I drew in a few slow deep breaths and my heart rate steadied. I lifted my chin, straightened my back and strolled through the doors. Hopefully without a care in the world on my face.
Darcy and Ethan sat on the couch, whiskey in hand. Karson stood by the fireplace.
“Hi, Darcy,” I said, brightly, not meeting anyone’s eyes.
Darcy gave me a half salute, half wave.
I jogged up the stairs, my whole body buzzing with nervous energy.
Why is he here? The audacity of him to come to my home after what he’d done.
He wouldn’t care how it would make me feel.
He told me he doesn’t feel emotions like humans do.
He told me, everyone told me, and like a fool I thought I knew better.
I threw running gear on. I filled up my water bottle in the bathroom sink because I didn’t want to walk past Karson to the kitchen.
I snapped my running belt on, tucked in my phone and water bottle.
As a last-minute decision, I grabbed a jacket and tied it around my waist. I took my ring off and headed back down, keeping my eyes on the steps.
Just keep calm and concentrate on my breathing, I told myself.
Breathe, in and out, in and out.
I could feel his gaze burn the top of my head.
Breathe, in out out.
“Amelia.”
His voice shot a charge through my body. My breath jammed. I wavered, gripping the balustrade to hold myself steady. I glanced up to meet his gaze. It was unnerving the power his eyes held over me, as if they stroked like a fire inside.
Breathe in and out.
“Have you calmed yourself yet?” A blasé question as if he fully expected I should have.
“Have I calmed myself?” I repeated, I couldn’t believe his impertinence.
The breathing thing didn’t work.
“You snapped a grieving boy’s arm.” I didn’t shout but my voice was laced with poison and fury.
“You . . . you treat me like you care about me, then ignore me like I never mattered to you at all. Not even a second after we break up you’re out dating other people.
” Now, I was shouting. “And you kill people, Karson. You take lives without a moment’s thought.
And you have the audacity to stand here and ask me, have I calmed myself. ”
A sharp bang hit my ears, tiny shards of glass sprayed on the floor. The lights in the hallway had met their demise. Again.
“I think it’s safe to say that’s a no,” Darcy said. His gaze remained fixed on the TV screen.
Shaking with rage and hurt, I stepped off the bottom of the stairs. He moved in a blur, blocking my way. He stared at me. A look of mingled surprise and frustration on his face as if I’d completely overreacted.
“Move,” I said, through clenched teeth. He didn’t move. I began to raise my hands. “I will not ask again.” Anger corrupted my voice, and it sounded more animal than human.
Debate crossed his face, he was about to challenge me.
“I will throw you out of the way if I have to,” I warned, breaking Ethan’s ruled about taking the enemy by surprise. Like a fool. I was a fool. Karson was the king in the tarot pack. I’m the hanging man.
His lips quirked up and his eyes glimmered with amusement. Arrogant asshole. I could feel the blood heating in my body. Tingling my nerves. Fury and love warring inside me.
“Karson,” Ethan growled, “don’t.”
He inclined his head in a nod, to me or to maybe something Ethan said after I couldn’t hear, I didn’t know. But he stepped to the side and let me pass.
“Yep, that’s definitely a no, Karson,” Darcy said as I stormed out of the house, slamming the door in my wake.
I broke into a run when I got outside. I turned right and ran upward into the trees.
I ran and ran. I skirted around small shrubs and leaped over dead, fallen limbs.
I ran under gigantic trees that seemed to reach their arms out in a fruitless attempt to harbor my soul.
I waited for the tears to come, but they didn’t, just an intense burning anger pressed against my heart, my chest, my lungs.
Even Wolf hung back a little further today.
My feet slapped at the ground. Leaves and rocks crackled beneath them.
Muscles in my legs pulled like they were bound to a torture rack.
My chest felt like it was going to burst. Sweat dripped down my face and glued my ponytail to the nape of my neck like a ball of wet wool.
Finally, out of breath, muscles shaking, I pulled to a stop and hunched over.
I placed my hands on my knees, sucking in the air.
A dark shadow swept over me. Still puffing, I rose and looked skyward at a cloak of broiling gray.
In my anger I hadn’t noticed the dimming sky, nor felt the wind which grazed against my skin.
It’d rain soon. It had been a crystal-clear blue sky when I left.
Now I knew what they meant by sudden weather changes.
I glanced at my watch, it was 7 p.m. I blinked. Shit, I’d been running for over three hours. There was no way, even without the rain, even if I ran as fast as I could, I was going to make it back before dark.
Once darkness hit, with no flashlight, I could fall and hurt myself. I pulled my phone from my belt. I had no reception.
I turned in a slow circle, looking around. Every direction was cloaked green and gray.
The blood pulled from my stomach. I had no idea where I was.
I needed to climb higher and try and find reception and shelter. Or descend in the dark and try not to get lost—worse than I already was. I swallowed.
The wind was cool and damp. It darted around my body, drying the sweat on my skin. Fighting a slither of panic, I took a few large gulps of water.
Don’t panic. The first thing my father always drummed into me if I ever found myself lost.
‘Stay where you are and you will be easier to find. People who panic die. Build a shelter, be smart, Amy.’
I couldn’t stay where I was. There was no shelter in the brutal cold, I would struggle to make the night. Dad had bought me an emergency beacon, but it had been destroyed in the fire.
Okay, okay, Amy, head higher, find reception, and call Ethan.
I turned and started walking upward. The instant the decision was made the wind began in earnest. It whistled and whined against the trees, chilling my skin.
Fat drops of rain hit on my face. I untied my rainproof jacket from my waist. It was thin, designed to keep out wind and light rains, not designed for heavy rain.
I pulled it on. The rain thickened, it didn’t take long for the wet to soak through.
The damp clung against my body and I soon began to feel as if I were naked.
I shivered, wrapped my fingers in my jacket sleeve, pulling them together against my mouth and pushed forward, praying I’d find shelter soon.
I wondered what time Ethan would realize I was missing. If he’d taken Darcy to the bar, he might get home late—too late. He might not even realize I was missing until morning. Definitely too late.
I pushed the thought aside and trudged up the hardened terrain. Wolf trotted, head lowered, beside me.
As the cold intensified, my body began to tremble uncontrollably. My lips quivered. I tucked my head toward the ground. Fruitlessly, I blew against my hands trying to warm them. My breath misted from my mouth like spectres in the gloaming and vanished.
Darkness seemed to arise faster than ordinary, crawling through the trees, cloaking everything in murky darkness like a hungry mouth.
I squinted through the mottled forest. Ahead, through the sheeted glaze, I made out a small ledge sticking out from the hardened cliff face. It wasn’t ideal, I wouldn’t be fully sheltered, but it would provide reprieve from the wind at least. It would have to do.
I clamored up the rock face, slippery from the streaming rain, clawing at it with my fingertips, trying to get a grip.
I slipped, skinning my finger tips. Numbed with cold I barely felt it.
I tapped along the rock trying to find an indent to grip onto.
The rain lashed against my face. The wind howled through the trees. I shivered all over.
Finally, my fingers sunk into a hollow. My feet clawed against the rock face, my arms shaking from strain and cold, I gritted my teeth and heaved myself up, thanking Ethan mentally for his training.
Without the strength I had now, I’d have never made it.
Puffing, I got up and walked forward slowly, squeezing my eyes against the pounding rain until I reached the rock face.
I eased my back as far as I could into the indent and curled into a ball, protecting my core.
With trembling hands, I knuckled the rain out of my eyes and pulled my phone out.
It stared back blankly, the bars were non-existent.
I tucked it back behind me to keep it out of the weather.
Wolf leapt up and laid down a few feet away.
My teeth clattered, my clothes were soaking wet, and my body shook uncontrollably.