Chapter 2
Chapter Two
CALLUM/CASH
Then - Rewind Six Months
Probation Paper Cuts & The Ghost She Swore Was Real
The second I taste betrayal, the fuse is already lit…and I’m the one holding the match.
Ipull my phone out of the side compartment of the slide-out bunk bed where I’m resting on our tour bus to check my messages. I tense when one from Livianna stares up at me.
Lily: I’ve seen and read enough. Well done, mate.
Once again, you’ve shown me who you really are.
But don’t worry. You’ve never lied to me about that, so I don’t hold it against you.
Oh, and one more thing. The name Mayhem is fitting.
So true to you and all you bring by being in your life. Goodbye, Cash.
Fucking hell.
She used my stage name to prove to me how angry she is with me. Our conversation today is gonna be a nightmare.
I huff out a heavy sigh and go out to the common area where all the band members mingle and have meals. Bren’s shoving cereal into his mouth. I swear the dude is always eating when he has nothing better to do.
I slide into the space across from him. “How is it you stay so fit when all you do is cram shit down your pipe?”
He covers a laugh as he swallows. “Nothing goes down my throat that isn’t supposed to.”
“You know what I mean.”
“Yeah, but I had a visual come to mind of what I did to that chick last night before we pulled out of town. My cock was choking the fuck out of her and she was loving it.” He adjusts his dick. “She came before I did just by sucking me off.”
“You always say your tool is a gift.”
“It can’t be denied.” He rests his arm along the back of the seat. “Your uncle plowed the other one until she couldn’t move.”
“Yeah, I know.” I reach for a paper bowl that’s near the wall on the table where we’re sitting. “We all heard you guys. This space is compact. It’s easy to picture what’s going on in that room even when the door is shut.”
“Guess so.”
I prepare myself a bowl of cereal as he fiddles with his phone.
I point to the milk near him. “Can you pass that to me?”
“Uh…yeah.” He peers up at me and hands me the container.
The way he’s scrutinizing me has me stopping what I’m doing. “What?”
“Did you get a text from Livianna?”
“Yeah, she’s pissed off at me, but once we pick her up from the airport and I explain everything to her, she’ll cool off.”
His brows furrow. “Cash, she’s not coming. Not only that, but she also called me Guns. She’s never done that.”
“What do you mean she’s not coming?” I pull my phone out of the pocket of my sweatpants and check for another message.
Nothing.
Bren slides his phone to me. “See for yourself.”
I scan the text she sent to him last night. “I fucking told her to call me and I’d explain. She knows we’re trying to sabotage this tour.”
“Why the hell would she call me Guns? What did I do to her?”
“You were in the picture my uncle took. She must think we were having a foursome or something along those lines.”
“It’s what we would’ve done while we were on our last tour, so I can’t say I blame her.”
I scowl in his direction. “I can. She knows I wouldn’t cheat.”
“That’s not true. She only knows what we did the last time.” He shrugs and seemingly grins at the memories.
I slug him across the table. “It’s not like that anymore and she should realize that.”
“Asshole.” He rubs his arm. “How do you expect her to feel? You two barely speak. When you do, it’s rushed and full of bullshit small talk. Fuck, half the time I don’t remember you’re with my sister, and I’m supposed to have her back.”
My chest caves in for more than one reason. “I could do better, but…”
“What?”
“I’m not sure I’d reach her if I did.”
“What are you talking about?”
I consider how much I wanna tell him. He doesn’t judge me for shit, but he does Livianna. There’s a different set of expectations and rules she has to follow.
“Cash, tell me what you’re hiding.”
Fuck it. He knows her better than I do. I suck in a breath and explain.
“Sometimes when we FaceTime, I can tell she’s high. Not from weed, though. It’s different because she’s not connected at all. She’s way out there, numb to anything we’re talking about.” I run my fingers through my hair. “I think she’s using painkillers again.”
“Fuck…” His expression drops to one of disbelief. “I thought she was done with those.”
“Me too.”
“Are you sure she’s on them?”
“No, but she slips and says things like she did when she was taking them before. And her pupils are the size of a pinprick.”
“What kinds of things does she say?”
“She still thinks she’s somehow responsible for losing the baby.” My heart aches. I tap on it with my fist to release the misery that’s stuck inside.
We sit in silence for a moment as my thoughts travel through the past seven months. I remember something that pegs me between the eyes. A realization that I completely forgot about.
“Guns, you told me once you’d tell me about Livianna and why she says things like she killed her. You never finished your story.”
His contemplative gaze scrolls over my face. “It’s nothing but a stupid, obsessive lie she can’t get rid of.”
“Yeah, but it causes her to act in ways and believe things that are really fucked up.”
He rolls his eyes and relents. “Fine.”
“Does that mean you’ll tell me who this girl is that Lily is convinced she hurt?”
He pushes his food away and scowls. “Her name is Lehlani Rose.”
“Who’s that?”
“A ghost that lives inside of Livianna’s head. A chick who doesn’t exist.”
My brain tries to make sense of it but can’t.
I shake my head. “I’m confused.”
“You and me both.”
“Explain.”
“If I tell you, promise me you’ll never speak to anyone about it. Not even Livianna.”
“You have my word. Bro code to the extreme.”
He glances around the bus cabin. It’s early and everyone is still sleeping, so it’s only us and the driver. He has headphones on.
I highly doubt he’s listening to two teenage boys who think they know more than he does because he constantly avoids interacting with us. I would too if I were him. We can be downright crude and annoying.
Bren faces me, his expression heavy with concern. “One day I got high with Livianna. She started rambling about this Lehlani Rose person. Liv said she talks to her, telling her she was first and that Livianna’s life isn’t the one that should be here. It freaked me the fuck out.”
“So Lehlani Rose is…?”
“A figment of Livianna’s screwed up imagination. Lehlani Rose isn’t real.” He lowers his head and his entire body shrinks. “I think Livianna might have some kind of legitimate mental health issue.”
“No.” My stomach hollows. “That can’t be. Lily’s perfect and we all have strange thoughts. Especially when we’re high.”
“If it’s just a fleeting weird thought”—he lifts his piercing gaze to mine—“then why was that when she started cutting on herself?”
“I don’t know.” I shrug in confusion. “How long ago was this?”
“On her fourteenth birthday. I got us some weed to celebrate. My parents had a small party for her and when it was over, they went to bed. We snuck downstairs and smoked.”
“Maybe she hallucinates when she does pot. Some people do, you know?”
“I’ve thought about that.” He picks up his phone and stares at it. “Maybe she does, but ever since that night, she’s cut on herself, had panic attacks, and acts as if she’s indestructible, all while doing things that could really hurt her. Sometimes she scares me.”
My heart thumps with his reveal. His explanation is far from what I thought. I’m at a complete loss.
The conversation I had with her pops about her committing suicide races to the forefront of my mind. Adrenaline spikes up my spine.
I pick up my phone and dial her number. It goes to voicemail.
My breathing races. “Guns, call her and see if she’ll answer.”
“Why?”
“Just do it.”
He does. She doesn’t answer.
He swallows hard, fiddles around on his phone, and brings it up to his ear. “Hey, Dad. I was wondering if you’ve seen Livianna today.”
I get out of the seating area and pace the aisle. What if she did something to herself? Her message was detached and dismissive.
It reminds me of my pops. Her words were as if she couldn’t care less about me anymore. I get dizzy as I listen to Bren and his pops speak.
Bren keeps his gaze forward. “When was this?”
There’s a pause while his pops answers.
“And she’s in a good mood?” He raises his head and waits for a few beats. “No, it’s not that. She just sent me a message saying—”
His pops must interject with some sort of confrontation because Bren turns bright red.
“Dad, it was a publicity stunt. Nothing more than that.”
There are a few moments where Bren just listens.
“Okay, Dad. So I fucked some chick and did a line, but I don’t party like that often.”
I roll my eyes. Liar.
Where I can’t find it in me to lie, Livianna and Bren do it with their parents all the time. I don’t know how they don’t get caught.
Bren slices into my thoughts with his next sentence. “Yes, sir. I understand, but when you see Livianna, will you have her call me? I just wanna explain that Cash wasn’t involved.”
My insides twist and I wanna throw up. I can only imagine what Greg Hemings is saying about that piece of information. Bren releases an irritated breath.
“The truth is his uncle staged the picture and he’s the one who screwed the chick. Cash left right after the shot was taken.” There’s a small pause. “Okay, okay. I gotta go.”
He hangs up and glares at me. “The bullshit I have to put up with because of you.”
“What did your pops say about Lily?”
Probably because I dismissed him, Bren growls. “She’s in the shower, getting ready to go to Malibu Pier for the day. He said she’s fine and even seems in good spirits despite what she read on the internet gossip sites.”
“She went off those instead of calling me to find out what really happened?” I sink into the seat across from him. “Has she not learned anything from the past?”
“Guess not.”
“Fucking hell. This is worse than I thought, but at least she didn’t…”
“Yeah, right. So what’s the plan?”
“I’m gonna get a plane ticket out of here and track her down.”
“But we have a show tomorrow. You don’t have enough time.”
“Like hell, I don’t.”
“You don’t what?” My uncle moseys into the common space.
“I need to get back to LA today and find Livianna.” I gesture to the front of the bus. “We’re on our way to the airport to pick her up right now.”
“If we’re picking her up, why do you need to go to LA and find her?” He nudges me to move over.
Bren pushes out of his seat. “Take my place, John. I’m gonna try to go back to sleep for a few hours. I’m beat.”
“Cool.” My uncle turns to the kitchen area where we cook and pours himself a cup of coffee. “Let me guess. Livianna saw the story we planted and assumed the worst. Now she’s not speaking to you.”
“Nailed it. Once I find her, everything will work out, but I’m not staying here with the band waiting for that to happen.”
He mixes some sugar and cream into his cup, comes over to the table, and sits. “Do whatever you need, but remember I warned you this was going to be the case. This result wasn’t caused by me.”
“I know. That’s why I sent her a message last night, telling her to call me.”
“Why not just tell her why you did it?”
I peg him with an annoyed stare. “You told me to keep any proof that we’re sabotaging this tour off my phone. Do you think it’s wise for me to spell it out in black and white so some hacker can get it and ruin us?”
“Right.” His sleepy eyes tell me he’s not awake enough to be thinking straight.
Since we’ve been on the road again, he’s gone back to drinking and drugging. He doesn’t do it as much as he used to and he vows never to touch meth again.
He better not. At least not around me or anywhere near Livianna. There would be big issues if that were to take place.
He stretches his arms over his head and yawns. “Well, do what you need to do. Just make sure you’re back for the show tomorrow night.”
“You’re not gonna give me shit for how much money it’s gonna cost?”
“Nah. Your ma picked up another job. We should be good for a few months once that paycheck hits. Plus, we’re getting some dough from the label.”
My jaw drops. “Ma took another modeling job? When and where?”
“She left LA last night and went to the Virgin Islands.”
“When is she scheduled to get back?”
“Next week.”
“Who’s gonna be there for her when she returns? You know how depressed she gets.”
He takes a sip of his coffee as he seemingly considers it. I bounce my knee up and down under the table as I glare at him, waiting for his response.
He places his mug down. “Cash, she’ll be fine.”
“How are you so sure?”
“She told me she’ll pick up some Z-bars from someone. Those should calm her down and help her get the rest she needs.”
“Great. She’ll go from uppers and coke to downers without anyone there to help manage her. Yeah, nothing could go wrong there.” Sarcasm drips from my lips.
“She’s an adult, Cash. She’s got it under control.”
“But what if she doesn’t?”
He sends me a look of understanding. “She’s not like your pops. She wouldn’t do that.”
I rub the stiff muscles in my neck. No kid my age should have to worry about the kind of things I do.
That thought takes me straight to Livianna. I get up and go to the back to check my laptop.
There’s a message from my probation officer, demanding I schedule a time for a piss test today. I email him back and get it organized. Then find a flight into Burbank instead of LAX.
It’ll save me a lot of time if I can get Hawke or Cooper to pick me up in Burbank and take me to my car. If I can pull this off, I’m about five hours away from getting to Malibu and tracking her down.
Once I get everything squared away, I think about how to approach her. She’s angry enough to cancel a trip to visit me when we haven’t set hands on each other in three months.
Whatever I come up with, better be good. I figure I’ll make a plan as soon as I’m back in California.
Exactly as I timed, I’m strolling along the Malibu Pier, searching for Livianna. Bren said their dad told him she was coming here with her friend Gia. They’re gonna relax in a restaurant and watch for dolphins.
She’s likely wearing a big hat and sunglasses to disguise herself, but I’ll know her sizzling hot body anywhere. I peek inside a restaurant that has seating on an open patio that looks over the water.
She loves the ocean. My guess is if she’s here with a friend, they’ll be sitting outside. I ask the hostess if I can look around to see if they’re here, which she graciously agrees to.
I walk out, scanning the area for a blonde and a brunette girl chatting up a storm. My heart rate spikes when my gaze lands on them.
Why?
Because they’re not alone.
What the fuck are they doing with him?
I march toward them with my fists clenched as I try to remember to calm myself. I’m on probation and a fight is the last thing I need, but I’m not known for being able to control my temper.
There’s a good chance this is going to end in war.