Chapter 23
Chapter Twenty-Three
CALLUM/CASH
Then
Teeth On Bone & Bracelets I Hate
I tell myself it’s nothing, yet the walls breathe sideways and the windows hum, telling me what’s to come.
Ifollow Bren into their kitchen. “Does Livianna know I’m here?”
“No, bro, but I’m not sure this is a good idea.” He rummages through the refrigerator.
“I’ve been back for a month. Your parents are out of town and I think she’ll be open to talking to me. Guns, I need to get her back. We belong together.”
“You supposedly fucked Zara. In Livianna’s mind, there’s no reason to forgive you.” He stands with his arms full of various foods and kicks the door shut. “I still think something about the situation is suspect.”
He’s not wrong. The whole thing was staged.
I had to go along with Zara’s plan so Leon wouldn’t drug us and let Zara and Sebastian have their sick ways with us while we were out of our minds on Floating V.
Zara wanted Livianna to pay for getting her fired and Leon knew hanging Sebastian before me would have me cave into Zara’s demands. Nobody will ever hurt my Lily the way Sebastian wants to get to her.
I’ll fall on the sword every day for the rest of my life if it means I keep her safe and away from them. The only problem is I don’t know how I’m gonna get around the truth.
I straddle a stool and rest my arms over the top of it. “Livianna needs to hear me out.”
“Why? What good do you think it’s gonna do?”
“I want her to know how it happened.”
He places the items on the counter. “Something I’m curious about, too.”
“I already told you.”
“No, you said you were wasted and didn’t have a clue how Zara got into your bed.” He puts his hand on his hip and stares my way. “I was there and know for a fact you didn’t drink or do any drugs that night.”
“You didn’t see when I went to the bathroom and ran into someone who gave me some fucked-up shit.” I lower my head.
Bren can’t know the truth either. Leon agreed to Zara’s request to take Livianna out of the picture because he claims he owed her a favor.
It’s bullshit and I know it. He only made it happen because he likes having power over me and tormenting me in his spare time.
He threatened to release any and all videos he has on me, my family, and my friends if it comes out the situation with Zara was a setup. I’m stuck but can’t live without Livianna, so I’m gonna try to get her back.
Bren taps the space in front of me with his finger. “Hey, liar. One of the girls I was with was getting water and saw you let Zara into the suite.”
“See.” I raise my gaze. “That’s proof of how out of it I was. I didn’t even notice her standing in the room.”
“She was shutting my door when someone knocked. She waited out of curiosity to see who it was.” He shakes his head and huffs. “She told me Zara got there about ten minutes before Livianna. Your story doesn’t add up.”
“She must have noted the wrong time.”
“Let’s pretend it went down how she said it did. Why do that to Livianna? Why hurt her in the worst way possible? If you wanted out, you could’ve just said so.”
“That’s the point, dickhead. I wouldn’t purposely do something like that.” Not without having a good reason, anyway.
He rolls his eyes and proceeds to make a sandwich. “One of these days, I’ll get to the bottom of it and you’ll owe me a big apology for lying to me. The only reason I’ve forgiven you for that morning and remain your best friend is because I know it’s bullshit.”
“I’ll be sorry for the rest of my life.” Not able to wait any longer, I slide off the stool. “I’m gonna go wake her up.”
“Do what you will, but I heard her stumble in around three this morning. Don’t be surprised if she kills you when you wake her out of her coma.”
“She might, but I need her to listen to me.” I climb up the back staircase with my mind whirling and my heart thundering.
I don’t know what I’m gonna say. Every time I show up to speak with her, she escapes and stays away for as long as she can. She refuses my calls and avoids me at all costs.
My hands tingle as I push her bedroom door open. She’s on her back sleeping, looking like a pink-haired angel with her left arm resting above her head.
I stand in the doorway for a moment, taking her in. I wish I could tell her everything and we could be happy together.
Even if she knew, I don’t think she’d understand how or why I allow Leon to continue to abuse me. It’s something that makes no sense to me, either. All I know is he finds a way every time he chooses.
I creep over to the bed and sit beside her. I swipe her hair away from her face and her wrist comes into view. It’s covered with a large, transparent bandage.
My stomach tightens and I dwindle into myself. Why is she cutting herself again? Her eyelashes flutter and she opens her eyes.
“Morning, Lily.” I send her a soft smile. “Please talk to me and let me explain.”
She pushes up, rests her back against the headboard, and yanks her sheets up to cover her chest. “What makes you think you have the right to invade my personal space?”
“I don’t deserve it or have any right. I just love you so much, I can’t sit back and watch you walk away from us.”
“You don’t get to tell me you love me.” Her cheeks turn red. “I don’t want to hear your lies and we both know everything that comes out of your mouth is one.”
“Me loving you is the truth. It always has been and that won’t ever change.” I place my hand on what I believe to be her knee.
She shoves it off. “Callum, you need to leave me alone. Nothing you say will change my mind.”
“But what if I told you—”
“What? That you didn’t sleep with Zara?” Livianna fakes a laugh. “You know, there is something I want to know.”
“What?”
“How many times did you fuck her when we were together?”
“Once.” That I know of and I was drugged by Leon in order for her to take advantage of the situation. “It never would’ve happened if I had been sober.”
“You swear on your dad’s grave?”
“I do. I swear on my pops’ grave, Lily.”
It’s the first time I’ve put his name on this, and the world tilts like it heard me.
Her gaze roams over my face as if she’s looking for my deception. She won’t find any.
I’ve come to terms with the fact that if there have been other times I’m unaware of, it doesn’t matter. I’m not a willing participant, so I’m not taking on the false truth that I’ve cheated on Livianna in some way.
She pushes my chest. “Once is more than I’m willing to accept.”
“Lily, I’m dying inside without you.” My heart aches and my throat nearly shuts. “I’m sorry and I promise to make it up to you somehow.”
“No!” She kicks my leg with her foot under her bedding. “Get out and leave. I don’t want to see you anymore.”
“Please, Lily. I love you and—”
“Nothing. You don’t get it.” She crawls out from underneath her sheets and around me.
“What am I not getting?” I stand to give her space.
She scoots off the mattress and stomps into her en suite. “I don’t love you anymore.”
I lose my breath and follow her. “That can’t be true. What we have is indestructible.”
“Wrong, it is. You made sure of that the second you were with her.” Livianna grabs her bag off the counter and dumps the contents out.
She shifts through the mound of junk, searching for something. That’s when I notice a black-and-gold box for a three-pack of condoms.
The box is caved in. I pick it up and look inside. Two foils gone, one left staring at me.
Agony reaches into my chest and rips my heart out while its best friend misery throat punches me.
“Fucking great.” She grabs the package out of my hand. “Don’t expect me to discuss this with you. It’s none of your business.”
My limbs go numb and my body shakes. “Are you seriously having sex with someone else?”
“I already said, I’m not talking about this with you.” She shoves most of the contents from her purse back inside her bag. A small silver metal container remains in the palm of her hand.
“What’s that?” I point to it, feeling as if I’m in a twisted scene of a nightmare. “More storage places for your birth control?”
“Callum, stop asking questions I’m not going to answer.” She bears down on her teeth, grabs a bottle of water off the counter, and runs into the separate room where the toilet is.
She locks herself in and I stare at the closed door with my soul seeping into a billion drops of raw, bleeding torture. I can’t believe what she’s done.
My Lily wouldn’t just turn her back on me and walk away for good. And she sure as hell wouldn’t be sleeping with another man.
Yes, she would. She thinks I was with Zara.
I can’t escape Zara, Sebastian, or Leon. I hate them all so fucking much.
My vision distorts. I move on pure adrenaline and pound on the wood between us. “Open the door, Lily! I’m not going anywhere until I find out who this motherfucker is!”
“Callum, leave.”
“Not on your life, love.” I rest my palms on the frame, waiting for her to come out.
She stays on the other side for two long minutes while picture after picture of her fucking another guy slice through my thoughts. I wanna tear the images from my brain.
I grab my head and press on my temples with the heels of my hands, trying to clear the terrible reels that are flipping through my mind on repeat.
My guts cramp and knot as my world implodes. All my hopes of us working this out and getting back together fade away.
I get an instant headache and shuffle away emptier than I ever thought possible. It’s the same kind of internal damage as the morning I woke up after Leon first raped me. A huge piece of my soul is carved out of me.
My walk to the kitchen is nothing but a slanted reality. Not sure I’m breathing, I have to hold myself up by sliding against the wall until I get to the lower level.
I step down from the last stair and amble to the stool I was sitting on before this horror story took place. Bren’s standing on the other side of the center island.
He swallows something. “You look like someone cut your balls off. What the fuck happened?”